Shikoku: Yes, we're STILL alive! -Dances around happily- -G-
Steel: Yay for us! –G-
Shikoku: Anyway, we were looking for another distraction, to keep us from working on the Makoto/Minako story, when someone sent us an interesting request. :)
Steel: So this fic is dedicated to YOU, fan-rei. Thanks for the suggestion, though this probably isn't what you had in mind. ;)
Shikoku: But it IS a Setsuna fic! -Proud Look- -G-
Steel: Contains Lime, Language and Yuri. So consider yourself warned. :)
Setsuna Gets Some… Finally.
Another pointless bit of silliness by Steel Flint and Shikoku
Haruka was feeling horny, which wasn't new, she was nearly always horny. So it wasn't a surprise that she was having a hard time keeping her hands off Michiru. "Lover.." Michiru giggled, half-heartedly trying to fend off the blonde. "I'm trying to finish this painting."
"Paint later, play with me now." Haruka said, trying to fondle a breast, but found herself blocked by a paintbrush.
A mischievous glint lit Michiru's eyes. "I have a better idea." she stated, and painted the end of Haruka's nose.
"Wait a minute! Wait! Stop this fic!" Setsuna stepped forward. "I thought I was going to get some in this story!"
Michiru and Haruka blinked. "Huh?" they asked together. "But... we're ALWAYS the stars of Steel & Shikoku's fics. We're their favorites."
"But the title clearly says: 'SETSUNA gets some.. finally.' Setsuna helpfully pointed out.
"Oh.. good point.." Michiru paused in thought. She looked up at Haruka.
"Er.. no offence Love, but I really don't like her that way..." the blonde sweatdropped.
Michiru lightly bopped her lover on the head. "Don't be silly Lover, there's no way I'm letting you star in a lemon with anybody else but me."
"Hey!" Setsuna sounded slightly indignant.
The Time Guardian pouted. "Well, who else am I suppose to get with then??"
"Well, let's look at the candidates." Michiru said, calling in the Inner Senshi. They trouped in like they were on the runway, each pausing long enough to cast a seductive pose at Setsuna.
"There's the Princess." Usagi walked out, gave Setsuna her best 'I WANT You!' look, then turned and fell flat on her face. She then promptly started crying.
"There's the spitfire type, if that suits you more." Rei stepped forward, and gave Usagi a disdainful look.
"No! She's MINE!" Usagi exclaimed, glomping Rei.
"Usagi! Not here!!" Rei hissed, trying to dislodge her future queen.
The Outers sweatdropped. "Oye.."
Michiru shrugged. "Well, how about the sporty tomboy type?" She indicated Makoto.
"I don't think so!" Minako stormed out, grabbed Makoto by the ear and dragged the brunette back to their own fic.
"Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!! Mina-chan! I NEED that ear!"
"Uhm.. we're starting to run out of options..." Haruka observed.
"Well, Ami's the only one left." Michiru shrugged.
"No! She's mine too!!" Usagi exclaimed. She then tried to glomp both Rei AND Ami.
"Wow, she's greedy.." Haruka commented. Setsuna sighed, this wasn't going well.
"Well.. some times people set you up with Hotaru.." Michiru reluctantly brought up the unthinkable.
"Er, no, my DAUGHTER is a bit young for that..." Setsuna replied, repulsed by the idea.
"I thought that would be the case." Michiru sighed. She didn't think this would be so hard.
"No wonder you never get any..." Haruka mused.
Setsuna glared at her. "Well, it's certainly not MY fault!"
"And here I thought it was 'cause you're too stiff and can't cut loose in the sack.." Haruka marveled.
"Hey! I'll have you know I'm a TIGRESS in the sack!" Setsuna retorted.The blondeburst out laughing.
Michiru elbowed her hard. "Hush Lover, I'm sure she might be somewhat like a tigress in bed..." she said, skeptically.
"Auugh!" Setsuna exclaimed, annoyed and exasperated. "Just forget it! I'll find someone on my own!" She turned on her heel and stormed out.
"Good luck Setsuna-san!" Usagi called out from her three-some on the floor.
"Hmm.. I hope she doesn't go standing around street corners at midnight.." Michiru glanced to Haruka, worried.
Haruka tried picturing uptight Setsuna in fishnets and bad makeup and burst out laughing again. Michiru tried to look stern, but then remembered that she was incredibly horny, so she decided to continue where she and Haruka left off earlier.
But that's a fic for another time.
Back to Setsuna, who was NOT heading to the red light district, thank you very much. She had too much CLASS for that. So bleah on Haruka and Michiru. But she still had a problem with finding a partner.. After all, she didn't think playing with herself would be all that interesting for a fanfic.
Though SOME hentais might get off on that, she really wanted someone else to hold, to cuddle with, to talk to, to LOVE. And her right hand just didn't cut it. "Sorry." she apologized to it.
Neither did her vibrator collection. Though she DID enjoy their company greatly (and they were so brightly colored and pretty!), they just weren't much for conversation.
"What I need is somebody that can not only satisfy me, but also hold a decent, and perhaps even intelligent, conversation." Oxymoron as that sounded. But despite being the gloom and doom Senshi, Setsuna was feeling optimistic that such a person existed. Perhaps she'd find those qualities in a man, she mused. But the only man she knew, that wasn't evil, was Mamoru.
"Eeeww.." She remembered his performance back in the Moon Kingdom days, and shuddered. He was just too clueless in the sack to even bother with. Teaching him would just take far too long, and besides, the authors think writing hetero is not only boring and cliché, but also just plain icky.
"So it will be a woman then." She sighed. Oh well, her list of male candidates was short anyway. But so was her list of female candidates, now that she had effectively removed the Inners and the other three Outers.
Back to square one. Damn.
"Well, this story is supposed to be about me getting some, so I will eventually, or else the plot will never start." Setsuna decided, thinking logically. "At least, I HOPE there's a plot. I hate those plot-less stories where it's nothing but sex, sex, sex! I want ROMANCE damnit!"
Suddenly, she was in a romantic setting. A castle surrounded by fog. She wore her princess dress, and had bigger boobs than she usually had. "What the hell??" she exclaimed, shocked by the sudden scene, and physical, change.
All of a sudden, a Fabio-like man appeared across the courtyard from her. "Setsuna, Daaaa-ling! I've waited for you all my life! Now let me wine and dine you! And show you my rippling biceps and jiggling pecs!"
"Ohhh my looooovee!" she exclaimed, running toward him in one of those cheesy: 'lovers-running-toward-one-another' scenes. Hearts covered the background.
She was just about to embrace him when he collided with her breasts and bounced off. Boii-oiing!!! He flew across the room, smashed through the castle wall and fell into the moat.
"Dang! Big boobs are gunna take some getting used to.. And quit it with the comedy already! I want a serious love story, damn it!" Setsuna yelled at the authors.
And BOOM! She was in the middle of a trashy lemon ficl!
"Mmmmmmm ooooooooooo mmmmmmmm oooh yeeeessssssss, cum cum!"
"Who said that?!" Setsuna looked frantically around her, trying to find who the voice belonged to, so she could lecture them on smut. She then blushed when she saw that it was Chibi-Usa and Hotaru. "Even THEY have more sex than I do.." she sighed, sadly. Then applauded.
She still couldn't help but be a bit envious though. "This story is supposed to be about ME!!" she lamented. "So why is everyone BUT me getting some??"
"Setsuna..." a voice said behind her. Whirling, the Time Guardian came face to face with her one true love!
"Ack!" she yelped in surprise. "Hey! How am I supposed to get with a GHOST?"
The ghost of a woman glared at her. "Setsuna, what is the matter with you? You are tremendously out of character in this fanfic."
"Blame the authors." The green haired woman sighed. "I think they're on something.." She made 'puff puff' gestures.
"Well, I'm here now, so let's.." She paused. "so 'let's get it on' already." The words felt foreign coming out of her mouth. "How vulgar.." she muttered. But of course, anything as raunchy as 'getting it on" was beneath a queen, especially one that had ruled an entire galaxy. Yes, if you hadn't figured it out from that line, Setsuna's mysterious lover was none other than Queen Serenity from the Moon Kingdom.
"I still can't figure out how we're going to 'get it on' if you're a ghost." Setsuna reiterated, not being able to get past that. So for this fic, the authors did something VERY evil (besides the whole 'breaking the fourth wall' thing) and completely overrode the whole plotline of Sailor Moon and let Queen Serenity be alive.
"Yay!" Setsuna cheered and pounced her.
Queen Serenity laughed and fell over, looking less queenly for a second and not caring. She hugged Setsuna close. "I am so glad to be with you again!"
Setsuna blinked, pausing in her removal of the Queen's blouse with her teeth. "Again? What do you mean again?"
And so begins the real story. But we'll write that some other time. Suffice to say that Setsuna gets some.
"What?? What the hell kind of ending is THAT!?" Setsuna harrumphed. "You didn't go into any detail!"
Steel appears in front of her. "This isn't a lemon." she states.
"Why not?!!! I'm a sexually starved woman!"
"I didn't need to know that.." Steel sweatdropped.
Shikoku appeared. "We'll write a serious story eventually," she promised.
Setsuna arched a brow at them. "I'll believe THAT when I see it," she said, testily.
"Oye.. I think Minako and Makoto have been talking about us again.." Steel muttered. Shikoku sweatdropped. Steel sighed and ran a hand through her short, grass green hair. "Look, it's late, I'm tired, I have to go to the bathroom; can't you just accept that ending??"
Setsuna sighed. "Okay.." she reluctantly agreed. Shikoku blushed at Steel's 'too much information'.
Serenity draped herself over Setsuna from behind. "Forget about them Darling," she purred into the Time Warrior's ear. "We'll go write our OWN story!"
"'Kay!" Setsuna readily agreed, then pounced on her lover again, like they were Haruka and Michiru.
"There, that should keep them busy for awhile." Steel muttered. "Now, if you'll excuse me.." She then hurried off for the 'Ladies' room. Shikoku shrugged, then ended the fic.