Remus let his eyes flutter closed as a warm breeze gently teased his hair, stirring it as a lover's breath would. He sighed happily enjoying the sensation before opening his eyes and once more taking in the view of dawn breaking over Paris.
Remus did not do this sort of thing regularly, he was usually just getting into bed at this time of day. Once the clientèle had departed for their lives outside of these walls the members of the Honey Trap dropped their masks and rested before the darkening of the sky required that they resume them once more. In most cases Remus would have joined them in sleep but today was different; today he was returning to England. As had become custom among the Marauders the boys converged upon the Potter's house in the week leading up to the commencement of term, unless the full moon prevented it, for seven days of swimming holes, tan lines and alcoholic substances of dubious origin.
It would be laughable to suggest that Remus was a traditionalist of all things (though none of his friends were quite aware of exactly how laughable) but he had, since a young age, made a habit of marking certain occasions. He was leaving France today and this had become his way of bidding her goodbye.
Certain scents, certain sights could haunt a person for all of their lives. For Remus Lupin even in his dying days, many a year from now, the scent of wet asphalt would still scrabble at his insides with it's lonely, mocking claws but Paris at first light, the skyline of Paris with the sun rising triumphant over the rooftops, ah, few things could create such a well of inexplicable emotion within him. It was a surge of such intense awareness of the world around him, a feeling of such complete beauty and openness that his breath would catch and shudder in his throat. It almost frightened him to feel as much as he did in those moments, internal upheaval of any kind was rare for him and left him a little rattled but he couldn't help but believe that this was a positive experience, like spiritual spring cleaning, opening the windows off his soul to sweep out the cobwebs.
He stretched his newly grown limbs and leant against the railing of his balcony, musing upon the events of the past summer. The most obvious changes had been physical; although Sirius delighted in making fun of his small frame the truth was that he had already started to show signs of a growth spurt before leaving school, it just so happened that it had continued the first few weeks of the summer. He had gained quite a lot of height. If he kept growing like this he believed he'd be of a similar height to Sirius himself by the time school was over and done with. The thought made him smile as he imagined Sirius's likely reaction to that. The added height had made things a bit difficult for him at first, getting used to his longer limbs had taken some time, luckily the majority of his clients were thoroughly taken with his new coltish body and had not complained of any awkwardness. By the end of the holidays his body had fleshed out somewhat for which he was thankful, he had not enjoyed the pigeon-chested, scrawny phase that sudden growth had imposed upon him.
The second remarkable thing that had occurred to Remus over the summer had been women.
His more mature body had finally garnered him attention from the female members of the Honey Trap's clientèle and so, at Anton's instruction, he began training with Sophie and Roberto learning how to bring a woman endless pleasure. It had been much more difficult than he anticipated. A few things had been the same but women, he found, were much harder to please, slower to respond. Making things even more difficult had been the role reversal, he was used to being the one yielding, opening. Being the "male" in this situation truly made him feel virginal all over again. Slowly though he learnt the techniques and assumed the more masculine role required. At first to cover his nerves he assumed a new character when with women, one that radiated an air of confidence, charisma and desire. He changed the way he moved when meeting with women, Remus cast off his habitual gentle grace and began to slowly stalk across the floor, pinning his client with his unblinking eyes. Afterwards, while briskly cleaning his body, he would look in the mirror and sternly reaffirm that he was not (was not, was not!) basing this new mode of seduction on anybody.
Remus had come to enjoy servicing women, they were so much softer and more pliable than men. He loved slipping their long, shiny hair through his fingers and the way they kissed was so sensual compared to men who were all passion and dominance. It wasn't desire he felt, no, that was too foreign an emotion to Remus for it to be anything but feigned on his part, but women added a whole new dimension to his work for which he was grateful.
This new maturity had not slipped the notice of the men either. Remus found himself with a new breed of male clients, ones who wanted nothing more than to worship and be dominated by young men with their long limbs and lean bodies. So much variety now, this had truly been an educational summer, even if he had lost one or two of his usual clients but nothing could've been done about that. Those particular men had a taste for the juvenile that no one over fifteen (and even that was pushing it), no matter how alluring, could possibly sate.
Remus grinned to himself and tossed back the last of his coffee, savouring the rich flavour for the last time before the next school break. It was strange, he mused, how in France the only hot beverage he drank was coffee but in England he was a freak for a cup of good English Breakfast tea. It was stranger still how his friends actually believed that he hated coffee with a passion (he'd never bothered to admit to them that it was just the coffee at Hogwarts that he couldn't abide). It was, he decided, just another indication of how fractured he was becoming. There was only so long that he could keep living two completely separate lives before he would become two completely separate people. It was already beginning, he knew the two worlds could never touch so he did everything within his power to block out his life in England while in France and visa versa.
The more time he spent at Hogwarts the more English he felt he was becoming. It hadn't taken long for him to comprehend and utilise a more casual, and arguably, more natural form of English. He still retained his polite manner of speech, that was simply part of his personality, but now, especially with the softening of his accent, he sounded more "polite young Englishman" less "book taught foreigner". Arriving at platform 9 and 3 quarters at the start of the school year he could physically feel his English blood rushing to take control and it happened so naturally and so quickly once he passed that barrier that there was no artifice. He wasn't playing a role, wasn't lying about who he was (other than hiding his status as a Dark Creature, he would always and forever deny that outside of the Honeytrap), he was Remus Lupin, polite young Englishman and school prefect. He was free to learn, prank, enjoy the naivety of his classmates and, oh how he loved this part, to be as scruffy and unconcerned about his everyday appearance as any other boy his age.
Remus loved his life at Hogwarts but he was equally content right here in Paris. He kept no pictures or mementos of his friends or of Hogwarts in his room here, they did not exist here. He wouldn't even talk about school voluntarily, not even with Anton. While here he fucked whomsoever paid the fee and did things with them, to them and to himself for their viewing pleasurethat would shock and disgust even Sirius, the self-proclaimed liberal. But here he could also sing and dance without worrying about all the attention he was attracting and he could tell some of the most truly dark and filthy jokes on the planet that only the people at the Honeytrap could really appreciate. Here he was a werewolf and a whore yet he was worshipped by clients and adored by his coworkers and he, in turn, adored them. They loved and respected him here. It was no secret that he was Anton's heir, Remus already had many responsibilities concerning the operation of the brothel. It was a role he relished and took very seriously. He wouldn't have to sell his body forever, Anton had even mentioned something about an early retirement. Yes, in Paris he had prospects, he could be someone of independent means but would his friends ever... no. No, they would never understand, would never even really try to. After all how could they?
How could people who've lived such innocent and privileged lives know anything about true deseperation and abandonment? How could they understand how incredibly lucky he was? They couldn't, they'd only see the things he'd done.
Oh, he had no doubt that they'd be more outraged and horrified on his behalf than disgusted by him but still that wasn't what he wanted them to see. Remus wanted his friends to see the love and respect between Anton and himself, to show them how damn proud he was, how proud they all were, to be part of the fantasy that was the Honeytrap.
He wanted to tell them that before Hogwarts the Honeytrap was the best thing to ever happen to him but they'd never understand, so he never would.
Sighing once more he grabbed his breakfast tray and rose to his feet, he had a lot of packing to do and a few marks from last night to glamour before leaving Paris and begging Lycan goodbye for the term.