A Bit Of Rain


I need her...I need to know how her skin feels against mine, I need to feel her soft body for more than a split second in a crowded school hall, a brief brushing of mind and soul... I need more than a glimpse of her eyes and a quick smile of hello. I need more than this make-believe, this endless array of, "I touched her once in the hall. She must be in love with me. She's gotta be in love with me. Who wouldn't be?" I need her...I want her. I need her to want me back, I want her to need -- why won't she look at me?

Sound stops in his mind. Bodies fly around and past him crying their meaningless school cries, ignoring him, not wanting him, not needing him; never needing him. She's just like them. She'll never see...she'll never look deep enough. She'll never know.

Why the hell won't she look at me? Oh, God, just let her look at me, let her really look...please just let her SEE ME!!

Her locker door closes with a gentle shove from her liquid fingertips, and she walks, books pressed protectively against her chest, eyes questioning something, but never the correct thing.

She never thinks of me. She never questions me. She never sees me.

Her footsteps are the only sound he hears; her gentle breathing, the beat of her heart and the rush of air she creates in every subtle touch of movement. She must be close now; she must be very close...she's coming...this time will be different.

It has to be.

Or the world will end.

It comes now; the gentle brush, the pause. She's touched him with her shoulder...accidentally. She stops, glances up towards his eyes, briefly, and smiles a quick smile of hello. More make-believe. More pretend. Nothing new. The world must end.

But then a new sound, a voice, a word, a sentence -- "Are you all right, Reggie?" The voice shakes, as though it knows the truth. It must know the truth. "You...you don't look so well."

I'm not well. I'm sick. I'm sick over you. I love you! I need you, I need to feel you, I need you to understand! Oh, God, please understand!! Please....!!

His protective barrier from sound breaks with a single yell, a mighty yell which won't allow the subtle mingling of her heartbeat with his own. The dream dies. "MI-IDGE!! HURRY IT UP!"

She turns a moment, then turns back; she finds his eyes a second time. "I have to go...Moose and I are--"


She bites her lip and he quivers.

I want those lips. Let me have your lips, let me taste them; please, just want me to taste them... Just once, that's all I need...! Just one more time. Once more. Please...

"I have to go. I'll talk to you later, I guess, I..." She hears her name again and turns; she leaves quickly; she takes his heart with her, fails to notice his desire which weaves him to her, tears emotion from his chest and leaves him to die; heartbeat fading. Gone soon.

"...goodbye, Midge."

See you tomorrow. Same time, same place. I'll be waiting.

He heals quickly, bandages around his feelings like a tourniquet, numb and cold again; disagreeable and complicated. Predictable and hated. Bodies fly around and past him, crying their meaningless school cries, and he joins them. Pretend. Make-believe. Happy-go-lucky, arrogant and wise...fulfilled.

Somewhere, she thinks of him.

I'll post more soon; this was just something I wrote for exercise, and I decided to make a thing of it...please bear with me. Future chapters will have a slightly different feel.