Never Be That Wonderful: Chapter 13 the finale.
If he claims that I am so in love, then why would he kiss me the way he did? If I myself am as in love with Darien as he thinks then why did I kiss back? All these questions make me realize the actual mortality of relationships; I kind of understand how people can take things the wrong way. I mean look at me, if I found out Darien kissed another girl in a "friend" sort of way would I sincerely be upset or just mad because my friends fuel my anger by telling me I should be? These all resort back to unfaithfulness which personally I only feel exists if you're married or deeply connected with someone.
There it is again, deeply connected with someone. Darien and I are connected but not on that deep level that I see with so many other couples. Perhaps sex is the answer, I find that to be the only thing that separates those couples from Darien and myself. They've all had sex and are connected on that emotional and physical level.
My phone started to ring as I laid in my bed looking up at the plain ceiling. Day had turned to night long ago I was too lost in thought to notice though. I picked it up and stared at the number strewn across the tiny black screen. It was Ami.
"Hey Ami," I said into the tiny receiver.
"Serena you've got to come down here!" She said frantically into the phone.
"Why? What happened?" I asked sitting up in my bed.
"Lita and Minako look as though they're about to kill each other. We came down to the waterfront where we heard a bunch of people were gathering tonight and low and behold Lita gets a little bit drunk and starts reaming out Minako," explained Ami.
"I'll be right there," I said while slamming my phone closed. I grabbed my car keys off the floor and bolted down the stairs and out the door. I could hear my mom calling after me but I ignored her.
Upon arriving at the waterfront I could already feel the tension build just stepping out of my car. There were people hanging out in little cliques all around the water banks. Eyes were resting on me as I made my way towards a the biggest crowd of people. I could only see a few people who I actually knew from my school, the rest were unfamiliar faces.
"Serena! She's over here!" Shouted Ami while grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the group. I then saw the two of them waving their hands about arguing.
"You fucking left us for some fake bitch!" Shouted Lita while gesturing towards Hatsumi.
"She's not the fake one you twit! She likes to go out and party unlike you! The only reason you're even down here Lita is because you're fake, I know how much you hate partying! You only do it because you think it's the popular thing to do!" replied Minako while taking a step towards Lita.
"You better watch it or I'll beat your face in right here," answered Lita, her eyes were narrowing in frustration, but also partially because she was too drunk to really do anything.
"Bullshit. What are you going to do? Punch me and miss? You never could handle alcohol," retorted Minako.
At that moment Lita raised her hand and bitterly slapped Minako across the face throwing her to the ground.
"No one needs a backstabbing bitch like you around anyway" Said Lita.
I quickly dashed to the fallen Minako and pulled her up.
"That's enough Lita, you're drunk and out of control!" I shouted.
"Whose side are you on anyways Serena? First we all hate Raye because of you, then Minako abandons us and freaks out on you so we all think she's a bitch. Yet here you are still standing up for her. You really are a push over aren't you Serena?" Replied Lita, it was then that Ami stepped in and pulled Lita away.
"Lita you can't take your frustrations out on your friends," said Ami quietly.
Her words had already done their justice on me though. She was right; I don't stand up for myself I just let people push me around. Maybe that's what caused this whole scenario with me turning into a bitch. Perhaps what Naru had said to me was correct that my resent for other people was because of how I was treated. It's sort of scary how the "do unto others as you would have them do unto you," rule was actually quite accurate.
"You're right Lita, I am," I replied while standing to my
feet, my eyes were beginning to swell with tears. At this point I
looked around at all the people standing near me. I held their
"I was recently told that I had turned into a bitch. My boyfriend was blind to it, my friends were jaded by it as it was what they were always used to. It took an outside point of view to see what I had become. I'm sorry for it, sometimes you loose your way."
No longer could I hold those tears back, they were pouring down my face like April rain.
"Serena," said Minako while grabbing my arm and leaning her head on me. "Thank you. I've been waiting for you to see it,"
I then heard a truck door slam and Darien and Motoki emerged in to the group. Darien walked right up to me and put his arms around me. Motoki did the same to Lita. He then directed me to his truck and took me away with him.
"What happened?" He asked while turning up the road.
"What do you think happened? Everyone saw me for what I was except for the people who are supposed to mean the most to me. Even you were blinded by my new bad attitude," I replied blandly.
"I wasn't blind to it," He stated.
"Then why didn't you tell me about it?" I said angrily. He is the one person I'm supposed to trust the most and he doesn't tell me?
"You would realize it on your own. I know you and I know that you couldn't handle that personality for very long. What people think really affects you and therefore I knew that you'd discover it on your own," He answered me calmly.
"But that time I asked for your opinion about it you lied to me then!" I shouted back at him.
"Actually at that time you hadn't become the bitch you had thought you were," Replied Darien.
So when was it that I assumed the form of what Raye used to be? When was it that I had become the popular monster. When was it that the population of our high school started to hate me?
We soon arrived at Darien's house and he took my hand and led me inside. By this point I had stopped crying and started focusing as I had not been around Darien in a long time. I wasn't able to just be alone with him recently it seemed because of the drama that always followed me.
He sat down on the couch and I sat beside him resting my head on his chest.
"Darien are we deeply connected?" I asked, rethinking about the thoughts that had crossed my mind hours ago.
"Deeply connected? Um in a sense I guess, why do you ask?" He replied while stroking my back gently.
"Because I look at other couples and I wonder why they need to be with each other all the time and yet you and I we can be apart for days and we're still okay, we're still surviving," I answered while tilting my head up to look at him.
"Perhaps they're insecure and need to be reassured that their boyfriend or girlfriend is still with them," he suggested.
"I know you're with me though," I said while propping myself up on my arms with his torso in between.
"Good," he said while leaning up to kiss me. He then pulled away and cocked his head at me with a private debate going on in his mind. A tension was growing between us, one that neither him or I could explain.
"I was once told when you feel like something is right you should do it," I whispered quietly while looking into his eyes. "I think this is that moment,"
His eyes answered in agreement as he pulled me down to kiss me. I moved my hand up his chest and I felt his muscles tense. He grabbed me under my arms and pulled me up on top of him more. His lips brushed against my neck and he began to plant kisses all along my neck and under my chin until our lips met. His left hand gently glided up the inside of my thigh, he had done this before I could tell. My unskilled hands gently glided over his manhood and I could feel him twitch in anticipation. Carefully I undid his zipper with my shaking. At this point, it's too late to admit I have no idea what I'm doing. I massaged him gently through his boxers as he grew hard in my hands.
"You want this right?" He said huskily.
"Yeah," I replied dreamily while leaning back slightly.
He began kissing my neck like he was claiming territory. I slipped my hand into his leading him to the buttons of my shirt which he carelessly undid revealing my breasts. I wished they would suit him again. I slipped his shirt off, I wanted nothing between us. His hand glided up my thigh as he parted my legs. He skimmed the trim of silk panties and gently rubbed his thumb over my center. I arched my back in surprise and he pulled away ready to take me as his. I closed my eyes I'm scared but above all curious. If this is what it is that my life was missing then I wanted it so bad. His mouth trailed over my jaw as he pushed himself in me.
"Ahh" I hissed as he entered me, the sharp pain emitting in my body.
"Are you okay?" he asked while quickly pulling out.
"Yeah, keep going," I replied while pulling him back down.
His rhythm was slow and gentle, I gripped his back to keep myself from crying out in pain. He stifled his moans in my chest as he cummed and collapsed on me. We stayed still for a while breathing heavily in each others arms. I was his.
"Are you sure that it was okay?" asked Darien as I stood at his door.
"Yes, I'm sore but I'm okay with it. It will get better," I answered leaning up to kiss him.
So there it was, my first time, no candles, no romantic music and definitely no sexy lingerie. Raye was right it was nothing like you expect it to be, but now I've realized that nothing is the way you expect it to be. I'm sure it won't ever be the way you want it to be. I guess you can't really plan life, if you do you'll be left disappointed.
The next day….
"I'm sorry for what I said to you yesterday," apologized Lita in front of my locker.
"It's okay, stuff like that happens. It's not like what you said wasn't true anyway," I replied while giving a vague smile.
"It's not true Serena, if you were a pushover you wouldn't have stood up for Minako the way you did," She said encouragingly.
"No Lita, it is true. I've let people push my around my whole life. That's why I couldn't see it like everyone else could," I replied. "But if you'll excuse me I've got to go and talk to a friend of mine for a bit,"
I brushed past Lita and walked down the hallway, I was looking for Naru. I wanted us to be friends again, after all she saw me for who I was and wasn't afraid to tell me the truth. It was then that I was stopped from behind. I turned to see someone I thought I wouldn't see for a very long time.
"Raye," I said surprised.
"Yeah, I decided to come back to school. I hear Natsumi and Allan moved back to England," she said remorsefully. I had forgotten all about Allan after the weekend, perhaps I'm ready to forget about Allan.
"Um yeah they left a few days ago," I explained.
"You've done something," She said giving me a quizzical glance. "You have a new aura about you,"
"I don't know what you're talking about," I said innocently, even if it was because I was no longer the virgin she remembered. Our eyes met and she knew what I was hiding. She smirked a little and nodded.
"I saw Naru down the hallway by the way, if that's who you were looking for," she said as she turned to walk towards Lita and Ami. "By the way, I was right wasn't it? It's nothing like you expect,"
Things had turned back to normal. Raye was nice and Ami and Lita were no longer her "people" but her friends. As for me I could finally walk down the hallway and no one would stare or move out of my way. I liked having to push like everyone else to get through the matted crowd.
"Serena!" I heard someone call from behind me, it was Naru and some of her other friends, my old friends.
"Hey!" I shouted back and turned to face her.
"I heard about the weekend. Are you okay? She asked sympathetically.
"Of course, I'm better than okay," I smiled and linked my arm with hers as we walked down towards the cafeteria. One of my other old friends Kaori linked the her arm with my other. Naru, Kaori and everyone else still accepted me; it was like three years hadn't passed by. We walked passed Minako and Hatsumi who were leaning against their lockers. Minako smiled and nodded at me and I waved in reply. We were all going to be just fine.
If I was to look back on my experience of this year I'd say I changed for the better. Whether it was Darien who taught me to actually live for myself or if it was Allan for making me face things that I felt I couldn't. I grew up. I now see it no longer matters if I'm with Darien forever or just for right now; and if sex brings us closer then so be it. I don't need a deep connection with someone to love them. We see our lives for what they are now and not what they were then. I can see it now that the world expects too much. Our family tries to control us, our friends try to own us and strangers judge us. We can't be all those things at once. Never will we be that wonderful.
So this was my final chapter, I combined two into one. Now you're all sitting there going it was almost a year since you updated where did you go? I'll tell you. Right after I last updated this story my mother passed away from cancer. I went through a lot of changes and I shall explain why this affected me writing this story. For you see a lot of the characters in this story are based on people I actually know, loosely based of course, but none the less. During this last year my relationships with some of these people changed and therefore each character needed a new ending and so did the entire story. However, after much time spent I finally found an ending I liked and the time to write it. I'd like to thank all of you who read and reviewed this story! I shall write another one soon hopefully, I hope you like it just as much as you liked this one!