"Yes, I'm afraid it's true, Mr. Potter." Albus Dumbledore said, peering down his half-moon shaped spectacles at the boy sitting in front of his desk. The boy, after hearing the news, nearly ran from the office screaming in dismay, but instead stayed where he sat.
"You're positive, Professor?"
"Never been surer of anything in my life! Well, there was this one time, when Minerva was wearing a rather pretty dress, and I said 'Why, yes, Minerva, I'm ready for the next step! Never been surer of an--'"
"Professor! Please!" Harry pleaded. "This is a serious issue."
"Hmmm, indeed." Dumbledore agreed, nodding his head. "Wait, what was the issue again?"
"Professor… the Half-Blood Prince! We discovered who it was!" Harry exclaimed, his arms flailing.
"Honestly, Harry, control yourself! This isn't Quidditch!" Dumbledore said, in reference to the boy's animated movements. "And I do believe it was I who discovered it. But that is beside the point! Lemon drop?" The older man asked Harry, offering him a small tin.
"Well… I have been cravin-- no, no, no! Professor! We have to tell Hermione!" Harry said, jumping from his chair, his robes swirling this way and that.
Dumbledore, who was entranced with the miraculous way the robes swished, snapped out of his reverie. Sitting up straighter and adjusting his spectacles, the Headmaster grew quite serious. "You're right, Harry, this is quite serious. Miss Granger must be alerted right away! Go, Harry! Run like you've never run before!"
Needing no further prompting, Harry raced down the spiral staircase, nearly spiraling out of control in the process. Flying past the gargoyles that guarded the Headmaster's office entrance, Harry hadn't need to run much farther, as Hermione was standing inconspicuously near the staircase leading to the dungeons. She was cradling Crookshanks while bopping her feet to no particular beat.
"Hermione!" Harry said, screeching to a halt in front of the young witch.
"Yes, Harry?" Hermione asked, flashing a brilliant smile.
"Did you use a Teeth Whitening Potion, Hermione? Because your teeth look real-- no, no, no! Hermione, I have something really important to tell you!"
Hermione looked at him expectantly.
"The Half-Blood Prince! Dumbledore just told me who it is!"
Hermione gasped. "Oh, Harry! Is it you? You have so much on your plate right now, don't you think you should abdicate?"
"No, no, Hermione! Not me! It's not actually a 'prince' as we'd see it! That's why you're involved!"
At this statement, Hermione dropped Crookshanks, placed her hands to her cheeks, and gasped, her eyes wild with delight.
"Oh, it's ME! The Half-Blood Princess! I always knew I was too witchy for my own good. Oh, Harry, I don't know what to say! I'd really like to thank Neville, for always making me look good, and I'd also like to thank…"
"Um, no, Hermione, I think you misunderstand. You're not the Half-Blood Prince." Harry said, emphasizing the "-ince."
Looking slightly crestfallen, Hermione questioned, "Well, who is it then?"
"The Half-Blood Prince…" Harry said, looking at his feet, "is… Crookshanks."
Crookshanks, who was curled around Harry's leg and doing something that looked remarkably like humping, looked up at him.
"Mrow?" He questioned.
"Yes, Crookshanks, it's you. You're half-cat and half-Kneazle. Half-blood."
The cat looked thoughtful for a minute.
"Meow." Crookshanks said, finishing the conversation.
"I couldn't agree more." Harry added.
Note: Thanks for reading! This was just a random little ficlet I cooked up while sick one night, and here it is before you! Reviews are welcome-- please tell me what you think. It's not intended to be extremely funny, so I apologize for any disappointments. I thought I should at least throw out a Half-Blood Prince guess before the 6th book comes out. Remember, this isn't to be taken seriously, JUST so you know! Anyway, thank you so much for reading!