Tales of Symphonia: A Day in a Crazy Place
Nyah! This is gonna be a happy, crazy day in the world of SquirrelDoodle. Don't ask me, that's what they named it, not me.
'Twas a pretty day in the land of SquirrelDoodle, and it was raining. Only not.
Chapter 1: The Craziness Begins
Genis and Presea were walking along in the beautiful snowiness of Flanoir, when all of a sudden, the snow all melted. Bizarre, you say? Not really, because Genis was shooting random fireballs everywhere.
"Nyah! Take that, stupid zombies!" Genis fired away, grinning like a lunatic.
"Genis… there are no zombies here."
"Tell that to the lettuce!"
"…" Presea sneakily knocked him out with her axe of doomy-ness. "You should not act so crazy in Flanoir."
Kratos ran up to the pair, wearing nothing but a Speedo. "My, my! What a lovely day it is!"
"Um… Kratos, aren't you cold?" Presea hid her eyes in fear.
"You must be joking! I'm an angel! I can withstand all!" Kratos grinned and ran away and behind a building. Presea paused and heard him say, "Ah, if only I could feel the wind on all of me!" Then a tight snap and many people screaming.
"Goddess Martel, save us all…" Presea sighed, dragging Genis along like a doll by the foot.
All of a sudden, Kratos appeared next to the author (which is me, by the way), mercifully fully dressed in his Judgment outfit.
"So, author, now that my craziness is gone," Kratos said in his normal, calm voice, "I can help you write this story."
Excuse me? Who said I needed your help?
"You must be joking, Ms. Author. I was FLASHING people. I think you at least need help writing this, even if I can't sign you up for mental help."
Hmm… no. Go away before I make a parrot eat you.
"Sheesh. You'd think I could help…" Kratos muttered as he appeared next to Raine, who was attempting to comfort Presea.
"Shh, Presea, everything will be okay. Everything." Raine was staring at Genis with a shocked look on her face. (Which must also be making her rather nice.)
"Raine. He was throwing fireballs at zombies."
"Yeah, that's weird, I know."
Suddenly, Zelos appeared from out of nowhere! "Nyah, I am here!" He shouted, striking a heroic pose. "Um… do you care?"
"Not really!" Sheena appeared and knocked him out.
"Oh no!" Colette ran over from out of a wall and cradled Zelos's bleeding head. "I'm sorry!"
"Raine!" Regal and Lloyd ran over, screaming. "Colette escaped from the wall we built around her!"
"Yes. We know." Raine was huggling Genis from the cold. Which was really bizarre. "AHHH!"
"What is it, Professor!" Genis woke up instantly. "I mean… Raine!"
"The water! It's everywhere!" Raine promptly passed out.
"Um… there's no water." Lloyd ran over and tackled Colette.
"Teh snow!" Colette yelled, being tackled. "It's teh water! X3"
Lloyd managed to knock Colette out and tie her to a tree. "Kratos, are you ok?"
"No. I am losing my cool and the author is to blame." Kratos carefully ran a hand through his hair. "I will kill the author!" And then Kratos was struck by lightning.
Sorry. My finger slipped.
"Yeah, I'm totally sure it did..." Kratos stood, completely unharmed. "I will... um... kill Colette!"
"Hey, I'm with you there!" Lloyd grabbed a shovel. "She's totally useless now! You kill her and I'll dig her grave!"
"Well thought out, Lloyd!" Kratos exclaimed. "You're the best son a guy could ask for..."
"Aw, you're nice. In fact, I think that there is something in the atmosphere today. Or will continue to be for a while..." Lloyd paused. "Anyway, this substance that is present seems to be making people act completely contrary to what is the norm."
"Well... if Lloyd is all smart-ish, there is no other explanation." Sheena ran over from somewhere.
"That means that Raine is very caring and huggable..." Zelos muttered, smiling heartily. "But... wait... the one day that I could cuddle her, I don't care about being a pervert! Cruel fate!" Zelos curled into a ball on the ground, weeping softly.
"And that's why Genis was acting insane!" Lloyd pointed out. "He's normally very calm and controlled."
"So that's why Presea was being slightly more emotional." Zelos composed himself. "This is rather strange."
"Except..." Kratos pointed out. "No one but us seems to be affected."
"Yes, rather true." Lloyd was now wearing glasses and a nice suit.
Um, hello? You could just ask me!
"This is so true!" Presea jumped up, squealing. "We could just ask the author!"
Yeah! Hey, Presea, remember how Kratos was acting earlier?
"Yes! It's so horrible!" Presea sank to the ground, sobbing and pounding it with her fists. "Completely revolting!"
It will be worse. Much worse, unless he is properly restrained. I guess I'll bring him up here with me, since then whatever is floating about what affect him...
And instantly, Kratos disappeared and was replaced with Regal, who had been on a killing spree.
"Nyah! That's right, people, fear Regal Bryant!" Regal had removed his shackles and was carrying two knives, which were covered in blood.
"Author, I think you are going a bit far with this," Kratos said.
Aw, lighten up, you mister angel person. I'm just getting started.
"Well, as long as we're here..." Kratos put on a frilly apron and began fixing dinner.
Um... okay, so maybe the substance is in here a little bit. Maybe that's the reason I'm writing this story.
"Oh, sweet author, I made dinner!" Kratos returned, wearing a nice suit.
Seriously, Kratos, you're scaring me. But it does smell good. For Pete's sake, Kratos, you're supposed to kill the turkey before we eat it!
"No way! I like ma meat raaaw!" Kratos dug in happily.
... Well, at least he can't hurt anyone else up here...
"Oh, author-honey, I fixed a plate up for you! And after you finish, we can sit down and talk about our love for one another!" Kratos ran in and glomped the author.
I'm sorely tempted to send you back down there, even though you are huggable and hot!
"Well, at least we don't have to deal with him anymore!" Colette appeared, looking evil and mischievous. "And I can prank the entire world! Starting with the author!" Colette grabbed a water balloon and threw it straight up, where it proceeded to fall and land directly on her head. "On second thought, I should practice, first..."
That's right! You can't touch the author! Ha ha ha ha ha!
"But I can!"
Kratos! Hands off! What are you, Zelos!
"I resent that!" Zelos ranted.
Deal with it you pervert!
So the hero group (minus Kratos, curse him!) ran off to try and find a cure for this weird substance.
"Come on, guys!" Genis yelled. "Let's go! I wanna find some kitties to huggle! X3"
"Genis, you must be calm and sane!" Presea wept. "Please!"
"Aw, poor Zewos, he is so sad!" Raine huggled Zelos and kissed his cheek. "I will cheer you up!"
"No, Raine, today is no good." Zelos sighed. "I kinda want some ice cream."
"Yay! Ice cream!" Presea cheered up instantly, then ran off to the ice cream truck that had appeared out of nowhere. "Yay!" She stopped dead when she saw the owner of the truck dead, his blood all over the snow.
"This must be Regal's doing..." Lloyd adjusted his glasses.
"Regal..." Presea gripped the handle to her axe so hard that splinters popped out. "He will... PAY!" She ran off to find the ex-convict.
"Yes... the ice cream is gone..." Zelos tried to comfort Sheena, who was extra nice to him today.
"Aw, author-sweetie, why did you get rid of the ice cream?" Kratos asked sadly.
I didn't. It was Regal. Go bother him.
"I can't. You brought me here so I wouldn't wreak havoc down there anymore."
You have a point. But that does not mean that I love you! Well, I do, it's just creepy when you act all crazy-ish.
Gah! I'm about to kill someone!
"You should try it, Ms. Author!" Regal ran by, holding three knives and a shotgun. "It's quite exhilarating!"
Regal, you alone are sane. Hey, is that Presea with the Gaia Cleaver?
"Um... yeah. I wonder if she tried to get some ice cream..."
Yeah. You better run... Kratos! Get away from me! For the last time, don't touch me!
No buts, or I'll kick your butt!
Lloyd was snickering loudly when he was suddenly struck by a mysterious bolt of lightning.
That'll learn ya.
"The correct grammar is 'That will teach you.'" And suddenly, Lloyd was struck by lightning (again).
"Mm! Ma moush!" Lloyd yelled, his mouth covered with duct tape. "Mif Ofer! Ma moush!"
Nyah! Ha ha ha! No, Kratos, back up! That is not funny! And look, you've ruined my pudding...
Regal, after being dreadfully beaten by Presea, was limping back to the rest of the group when Colette ran up to him.
"Hey, Regal, what's red all over?"
"Um... I don't know..."
"YOU!" Laughing maniacally, Genis shot Regal with several fireballs. Then Colette and Genis ran away happily.
Unfortunately for them, one of the fireballs had gone astray and hit the author.
DOOM! THERE WILL BE RETRIBUTION!
And suddenly, a pair of tiny turtles replaced Genis and Colette.
"Turtle?" Genis turtled.
"TURTLE!" Colette turtled, lifting a tiny leg and shaking it in what was supposed to be a threatening gesture.