xXx

The two women skidded to a halt before the three aliens. "Fuck this shit," Drakon muttered before opening fire simultaneously with her M16 and mini-Uzi. Although with in reality the guns would have little to no effect on the aliens, because this is a Sue they shredded the vile creatures into steaming shreds that lay in their respective pools of acid blood. Sol, who was erstwhile facing the way they'd come for fear of pursuit, let out a screech and stumbled into a wall.

Drakon sighed; God, her friend was noisy. Why the hell was she making so much nois-

Oh. Upon turning, she found that Sol currently had a face full of … facehugger. She was putting up a good fight, to be certain, and the authentic moans and whimpers she was producing really did give up a front of genuine terror –

And then Sol made a rather unpleasant gagging noise, and Drakon realized that this wasn't all for show. She strode forward and pried the icky creature off of her friend with her inhuman Mary Sue strength and tore it in two. Letting the twitching halves fall, she knelt beside Sol who was currently retching like a homeless drunk.

"It raped my face," she wheezed when she could speak.

Drakon, who had stood again and was looking around, said, "Y'know, I think if we keep heading north, we'll find our way out of here-"

"It raped my face."

"-and we'll live to write fanfiction again, just you wait. Man, have I got an idea for my next chapter with the Turks-"

"It RAPED my face!"

"-and there will be blood in it. Lots and lots of blood, because you can't have a decent fanfic without some good suffering- "

"IT RAPED MY FACE!"

Sol's shriek of indignation echoed strongly through the depths of the temple, prompting Drakon to raise a finger to her lips and shush her friend. Sol's lip quivered. Drakon handed Sol her assault rifle, and they exchanged a glance.

"We need allies in here," Sol said after a bit.

"Yeah."

"Big ones. Strong ones. The kind that kill things."

"Yeah."

"We're going back there, aren't we?"

"…yeah."

And so they began their trek to find some friends.

xXx

While some may find Predators to be rather intimidating and altogether unpleasant, Drakon and Sol lacked common sense and therefore felt everyone should love them. And so it was with great intrepidity that they ventured back to the room with the large muscular aliens. The Predators were still there, and looking somewhat disgruntled by the fact that the girls had returned and seemed not in the least frightened.

"Which one is the leader?" Drakon asked her friend in a loud whisper.

"That one," Sol replied, pointing to the largest of the assembled creatures.

"What do we call him?" Drakon wondered aloud, and immediately regretted asking because Sol gave everything the same name …

"Niblet."

"Right. Ok. So …" Drakon stepped forward and began her entreaty, "O mighty and powerful Niblet …"

A very distinctly rude noise came from the recently named Predator. Nonplussed, Drakon continued, "We ask of you your protection, for which to make it through these demon infested halls of doom alive …"

More of the creatures were sounding irritated and seemed to readying their weapons.

"-and the bonus for you is that you get to hang out with us, because we're so incredibly and unbelievably beautiful, charming, and powerful."

The Predators made happy sounds, and kneeled down before the girls.

"Yay!" Sol said. "Good thing this is a Sue …"

xXx

A/N: Gah! What a terrible chapter! But that's what Sues are for, right? RIGHT?