Disclaimer: I do not own any of the WWE wrestlers listed in this story, they are owned by the WWE and the Chairman Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Like so many others, I have no money to be sued so any likeness to real life is completely coincidental.
Summary: A well known superstar's daughter deals with being almost famous, with tragic consequences.
Genre: Angst and Drama
Author's Note to All Who Read and Will Read this Story
The need for me to write this author's note made itself very clear in one emailed review that I received on the first chapter of the story. I felt the need to speak for myself and what my intentions were where this story was concerned so that in the long run it doesn't happen again. First of all, if you do not want to read the story past the first chapter, then you don't have too. I am the kind of writer that feeds of whatever I get and what I don't get, which makes me that much better at what I do then some other people that just give up and never really try. So by writing this I hope to dispel some of the thoughts that have been presumed about me as the writer of a story that "I know nothing about" and maybe help other reviewers and or readers understand why I wrote it and anything else that comes along with it.
My main intention in writing this story contrary to what some of you may believe was in fact to deal with my own pain from what I call "self harming." I may not have been the kid in class that cut themselves, and I don't presume to know what that feels like but by taking almost a full bottle of pills in a sitting more then once through my teenage years I can tell you that I may not understand cutting, but I did "self harm." It is something that years later and happier I have come to terms with in my own way and do not feel bad about and none of the people that self harm themselves should either. I did not write this story to make light of a serious problem, but instead make other people that don't know about it see the true pain that it does cause, for both the victim and the people in their lives.
Secondly, when I started this story I didn't do it off the top of my head; the music I chose to put at the beginning of my head was off the top of my head because I thought putting painful music in a painful story about a painful topic might make it more believable. But in the end, this story was not made from me just thinking about why people do this and making something up as I went along, and I will now tell you what I did to come to the conclusion with this story that I did and then you can take it from there.
I have about three friends from school days that although didn't tell me at the time they were doing it, ended up doing so and telling me why they think in their hearts that they did it, and what feelings they got from it. Not only those three people but three more I have met since have also given me similar but different insight into this growing problem with the youth today. Most people would have made a story about that a lot worse then I did, but by doing what I did in the manner that I did it, I tried to not only get sympathy for the issue at hand, but also to enlighten people about something that most people do not go through on a daily basis. Mostly because they choose other avenues or come to terms with problems, and own them before it gets that far. Whatever the case, it could have been a hell of a lot worse on my part then it was.
Did I get it wrong? Maybe I did to a degree because not all people do feel the same way as the girl in the story did when they self harm themselves, but there are a certain amount that you have to open your eyes too that do feel that way and will continue to feel that way until someone helps them out of it. Every person is different in what they make of their own pain and people deal with it differently when trying to fix it, so when you look at this story, you need to look at it as a story and not as a real life fictional report about something or someone. It isn't about anyone; it is about calling attention to a world wide problem that has many ways of ending.
Not only did I have these people in my life that I talked and learned from but I also did an enormous amount of research before putting pen to paper to see if what I would end up writing would be at least partially true. So in the end, you may think I know nothing about it, and you might damn well be right, I never said I was one of the people that did it, just that for once there is someone that doesn't sit there and blame you for why you do it. I think what I made this girl go through in her fictional world, was a lot easier then it really is, and I didn't want to take it too far that I couldn't come back from it and turn a lot of people off my writing.
I have had the experience of knowing wonderful people that may be looked at as sick because of what they do to themselves, but in the end they are still wonderful people and no different then you or I, just a little more hurt. I have known people that got such a rush from controlling themselves in that way, that hurting themselves didn't really register until long after it was all over. They would embrace the pain because they really didn't think there was any other way out; they felt that bad and scared in their lives, which is why I wrote it the way I did in the story. I chose one avenue to take to write this, one side of a many sided coin and I think I did an alright job with it. I wanted to convey the pain and if you read what people got out of it then you will see that I accomplished that as I set out to do.
I did not put a big red bow on this subject and make it look all glamorous because let's face it people, it aint all that pretty to think about. For me, when I wrote it, I dealt with my own old personal demons; kept hidden for a long time, as well as give a voice to those people I know that have been through it the same was as my character. You may no it is wrong to do what you are doing and you might have your own very personal reasons for doing it that no one can judge but you and the people that know you best. I don't even pretend to want to save the world, and I do not pretend to know it all, I just think putting a voice to something so serious was what had to be done and I think I did it.
If the girl that wrote me the review looks at this note ever in her future, I am sure you are a wonderful person and what you are dealing with is a very painful and sad thing. I do not know how you as a person are dealing with it, I don't know you and make no idea that I do know you or other people that are like you in the way they think. I hope that you have a wonderful life filled with hope and get to live all of your dreams the way God intended for you too, and I know you can get past the pain.
But at the end of the day, after what I said here and what the story said for itself, it was indeed a story it was indeed fictional, save for the research I did in studies I read and the people I talked too. It was my point of view on a topic I wanted to know more about and help people make note of in their lives before something bad happens. Thank you in the long run for writing that review to make me speak out here and hopefully make a point. I do realize you didn't write it to bash me, but to make me see your point of view, which at the end of all of this, I have.
I wish you all well in your lives no matter what the turnout and I hope to see all of you again in another one of my stories. Thank You,