(Opening scene) Sora: I've been having these weird thoughts lately. Like why I haven't reached puberty, and why the hell Riku jerks himself when I'm over at his house. Like come on! Even if I'm a guy I don't want to see that crazy shit! (floats down and appears on the beach)

Sora: Man, this is some fucked up dream!

Riku: Hey, over here! (tidal wave comes towards Riku)

Sora: Oh shit! Riku, get out of the fucking water! (Riku holds out hand, Sora comes running)

Sora: Ah! the water! Huh? what's that? (Wakka comes swiming up)

Wakka: blurp, What's happen'n, man? blurp (Riku punches Wakka, holds out hand to Sora)

Sora: Wait, I'm not going to grab his hand! He's been jerking himself! EWWWW! (Sora floats up, shakes his head, sees Kairi)

Kairi: Sora! Guess what!

Sora: What? Kairi: I'm so horny, and I want you to bang me! (Porn music plays and the lights dim, loud groans)

Kairi: Hey what's that thing thats coming from the sky? Sora: Wait, I looks like meh! (Sora falls backward)

Sora: AHHHH! huff, huff, AHHHHH!

Kairi: No! my hot little man biscut! (Sora hits water, floats down and lands on the Snow White thingy)

Sora: WTF? Birds?

Some voice: Sora, can you hear me?

Sora: OMG! Are you that cell phone guy?

Some voice: No dammit! I'm a mystical disembodied voice, dumbass! Sora: What a bitch!

Some voice: Ok, anyway, Can you walk forward, can you do it?

Sora: Jeez, I'm that stupid! (walks forward, slips on a random bannana) Sora: Oh shit! I twisted my ankle!

Some voice: Ok, get up and choose your fucking weapon!

Sora: I choose the power of warrior, and give up Mystic!

Some voice: Your fucking path has been choosen! Hurry up so I can get the hell outta here! To be contiuned!