(Opening scene) Sora: I've been having these weird thoughts lately. Like why I haven't reached puberty, and why the hell Riku jerks himself when I'm over at his house. Like come on! Even if I'm a guy I don't want to see that crazy shit! (floats down and appears on the beach)
Sora: Man, this is some fucked up dream!
Riku: Hey, over here! (tidal wave comes towards Riku)
Sora: Oh shit! Riku, get out of the fucking water! (Riku holds out hand, Sora comes running)
Sora: Ah! the water! Huh? what's that? (Wakka comes swiming up)
Wakka: blurp, What's happen'n, man? blurp (Riku punches Wakka, holds out hand to Sora)
Sora: Wait, I'm not going to grab his hand! He's been jerking himself! EWWWW! (Sora floats up, shakes his head, sees Kairi)
Kairi: Sora! Guess what!
Sora: What? Kairi: I'm so horny, and I want you to bang me! (Porn music plays and the lights dim, loud groans)
Kairi: Hey what's that thing thats coming from the sky? Sora: Wait, I looks like meh! (Sora falls backward)
Sora: AHHHH! huff, huff, AHHHHH!
Kairi: No! my hot little man biscut! (Sora hits water, floats down and lands on the Snow White thingy)
Sora: WTF? Birds?
Some voice: Sora, can you hear me?
Sora: OMG! Are you that cell phone guy?
Some voice: No dammit! I'm a mystical disembodied voice, dumbass! Sora: What a bitch!
Some voice: Ok, anyway, Can you walk forward, can you do it?
Sora: Jeez, I'm that stupid! (walks forward, slips on a random bannana) Sora: Oh shit! I twisted my ankle!
Some voice: Ok, get up and choose your fucking weapon!
Sora: I choose the power of warrior, and give up Mystic!
Some voice: Your fucking path has been choosen! Hurry up so I can get the hell outta here! To be contiuned!