Lilo and Stitch:
The Only thing Worse than Dying
As many are already aware, there are several Lilo Stitch fanfics that tackle the issue of Stitch having an extraordinary lifespan, and far outliving everyone he knows. I read several of them and well... I couldn't handle it. It sent me into a depressive slump that culminated in me being unable to eat. I finally decided that the only way I was going to get over this was if I wrote my own "counter-fic", so to speak, to the others that dealt with this issue. Don't worry, this story will have a happy ending (It has to, otherwise I would never be able to get over the other ones that didn't.)
Lilo and Stitch and all related characters are copyright Disney. I claim no ownership of said franchise or related characters, nor do I claim the right to any form of profit from this story.
This story is strictly to be provided to the public for free and under no conditions..
It was a typical day in the little town of Kokua. Partly cloudy, very windy, not very many tourists since Kokua was so small. The ones that were there were known quite well since they returned to that same town, did the same thing, all during the same time of year, every year.
A fat, sunburnt tourist walks down the beach holding an ice cream cone, but drops it when he gets hit in the back of the head with a beach ball.
A short old woman selling fresh produce in a street cart cuts back her prices for the third time this month, wondering why she's not getting any customers, seemingly unaware that she parked her cart right outside the grocery store.
A young couple on a perpetual honeymoon ran about the town and the surrounding land and beach, the husband snapping photos of anything and everything that remotely got his attention, and the islanders had given him a few marks to show for it.
There were a few surfers at the beach, although one of them seemed to be doing much worse than any of the others. This may have been due to the fact that he was trying to ride waves while simultaneously eating a slice of pizza, or it may have been due to the fact that he was probably more stoned than everyone else on that beach put together.
The only thing that did seem out of the ordinary was some famous ex Baltimore TV star turned travel show host, who had a camera crew at a local diner stand, explaining that someone, somewhere in this town had somehow trained a monkey to cook three star meals in seven minutes or less.
If he only knew the truth…
Finally, at the Pelekai household, Lilo and Stitch had just finished watching a movie called Highlander, whom Pleakly had picked out for them to broaden their entertainment horizons beyond sixties B monster flicks.
Pleakly was in the kitchen washing dishes and humming to himself when suddenly.
"Pleakly!" Lilo yelled so loud as she and Stitch ran into the kitchen that Pleakly jumped up in shock and dropped the plate to the ground, breaking it.
Pleakly immediately turned around and yelled back, "How many times do I have to tell you, don't frighten me while I'm meditating!"
"I don't think doing the dishes counts as meditating." Lilo said, her head slightly turned in confusion.
"Well that's because you've just never tried it before!" and Pleakly went back to washing plates.
"Uh… huh." Lilo responded, "Now what did come back here for?… Oh yeah! That was the awesomest movie ever Pleakly!"
"Ih" Stitch grunted, "Awesomest ever!"
Pleakly went on without turning his head back to Lilo or Stitch, "Well if you liked that movie, they made three more sequels! Although they had a real problem with continuity in the last two… or at least the guy at the store told me they did."
Lilo's and Stitch's face's both lit up with excitement.
"Wow!" Lilo exclaimed, "Did you hear that! We gotta' go to the video store to get those sequels!"
"Ih! Sequals mega bootifa!" Stitch yelled out raising his hands into the air.
"Sequals to what?"
Lilo and Stitch turned around to see Nani in the doorway to the kitchen, home early from work.
"Well, to Highlander of course!" Said Lilo.
"Highlander!" Nani barely managed to get out the word Highlander as her jaw dropped and her eyes widened. Pleakly once again jumped in fright and dropped a dish.
"Who let you see that?"
"Pleakly did." Lilo responded.
Stitch also pointed to Pleakly.
"Pleakly? You let my little sister watch Highlander?"
"Uh… yeah!" Pleakly responded, trying to fake a humble smile, "You said it was one of your favorites didn't you? Soooo… what's wrong with showing it to them?"
It didn't take half a second for Nani to snap back, "I'll tell you what's wrong. It's got swearing! And it's got people getting stabbed! And it's got people cutting other people's heads off! And it's got gratuitous sex! And"
"And that's why it's the awesomest movie ever!" Lilo interrupted.
"Ih! Awesomest ever!" Stitch added.
Nani knelt down and put her hand over Lilo's shoulder. In an only slightly softer voice she said, "And it's definitely not for kids." Nani stoop back up, looking at Pleakly with hands on her hips and a cut-through-your-soul glare on her face. Pleakly still faked a humble smile as he now tried to hide the bottom half of his face behind a plate. "Did you even watch that movie yourself before showing it to Lilo?"
Pleakly gulped, "Well, if by watched you mean, briefly looked at a clip on the video store monitor and then read the preview on the back of the box, than yes! I watched it beforehand."
Nani flung her arms into the air and turned around to leave, just after saying, "From now on Pleakly, any movie you rent for my sister will have to be okayed by me first." And with that, she was gone.
It was dark. All the clouds had cleared to reveal the star-filled sky, the wind had died down, and Lilo and Stitch lay on the roof of their dome looking up at the sky.
"Stupid Nani. Won't even let us watch a stupid movie." Lilo grumbled.
Stitch turned his head toward Lilo, "Naga stupid movie. Good movie!"
Lilo continued, "Yeah, that was a good movie." Lilo suddenly turned her head toward Stitch, "Hey! Wouldn't it be cool to live forever?"
"I mean, you never grow old, you never die, at least not of old age."
Stitch frowned, "Growing old, naga botifa!"
"But then again," Lilo suddenly got a somber look on her face, "I remember once, I told dad that I wanted to live forever, and he said I shouldn't. I asked him why, and he said the only thing worse than dying is living forever, because you'll outlive everyone you know, and then you'll miss them for all eternity."
Stitch turned his head back toward the sky, staring at the stars.
"Well, I think you should take me back to our room Stitch."