This is a cute ficlet that I thought up of a few seconds ago and I'm not joking. It's just something to get me into the writing mood. It's going to be all quotes (so I won't have to be obsessed with grammar) and three or four chapters.

Title: Bugger Off, Potter

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Genres: Humor

Summary: "Go jump off a cliff, Potter." "Only for you, darling." "I meant it." "If I fell of a cliff, then I could never bug you again." "Oh, how terrible." A humorous fic of Lily and James; from fights to even more fights, it's a fic filled with great ease.

Year One

"Hello, I'm James Potter."

"Hello, I'm Lily Evans and I find you extremely annoying."

"That's not very nice."

"Well I'm not a nice person. Now go away! I have to finish reading my book."

"That's a lie; you are nice. I saw you helping that girl with her suitcase."

"Okay, let me rephrase the statement: I'm nice to everybody, but Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum…oh and let's not forget the King of the Prats."

"Hey! Those are my friends you're talking about. But wait, how come you didn't say anything about Remus?"


"Remus, my friend. The one with the sandy brown hair who is the only sane one."

"Oh, him. I quite agree with you Potter, he is the only sane one out of you four."

"I'm insulted."

"Good, now leave me in peace."

Two Minutes Later

"Why are you still here?"

"Did you know that when you get really aggravated your eyebrow starts twitching?"


"Hey, now it's really twitching."


"Uh…James…I think we should go now."

"Good idea, Sirius."

Five Minutes Later

"Hi Flower."

"I thought I told you to go away?"

"You told me to go away, but you never said how long. See that's the thing with me; I'm a git and I don't know anything. I have to be told specific instructions or I mess up."

"Uh huh."

"Now we're getting somewhere Flower."

"Don't call me that!"

"Snappy aren't we? Now if you won't let me call you that then what do you want me to call you."

"Evans will be fine."

"I think not. How about Camilla? That's a flower. Right?"


"What about Daffodil? Oh! How about Daffy?"


"What about Petunia that's a—"

"That's my sister's name."

"Are your parents gardeners?"


"Why are you always uptight."

"When annoying people come up to me—like you—I become frustrated. And then, when they don't leave me alone—like you—they get me even more frustrated. Then, my ears will have smoke coming out of my ears because I can't stand them."

"Oooo…ooo… I want to see that. Can you do it right now?"


"Bye Evans. Hey, that's what I'll call you—Evans."

"What a beautiful name. Now out!"

Two hours later

"Do you remember me? I'm in the same house as you. We're going to be best friends…forever."

"Oh goody. Then we can date and get married and produce Potter and Evans babies."


"Then, I'll chase you with a pitchfork."

"That's not very nice."

"Well I'm not a very nice person."

"Yes you are, just not to me."

"Good going Einstein."

"Isn't that exciting?"


"Us being in the same house."

"Oh, yeah, loads of fun."

"You can hang out with Moony, Padfoot, Wormtail, and me."

"Who's that?"

"Padfoot is Sirius, aka: Dumb. Wormtail is Peter, aka: Dumber. Moony is Remus, aka: The Only Sane One. Drum roll….AND I AM PRONGS, AKA: KING OF THE PRATS!"

"Uh huh. And can I have nickname so I can become friends with your friends. We'll all be one big family."

"You can be Hardy."

"Excuse me?"

"Which is short for Humeur Ardente."

"Speak English."

"It means "fiery redhead"."


"Sorry, I couldn't think up of anything creative."

"I'm going to kill you!"

"Not before I kiss you first."

"I meant kill…not KISS! I would never want to kiss you."

"Yes you would."

"And tell me why I would want to."

"Because…I'm wonderful and charming and everybody loves me."

"Here watch."

"Okay, so you blew a kiss to a girl…"

"Might I mention she ran into a Hufflepuff because I was so charming."

"You're only eleven."

"Yes, but I'm a charming eleven-year-old."

"I hate you Potter."

"I love you Hardy."

"Go jump off a cliff, Potter."

"Only for you, darling."

"I meant it."

"If I fell of a cliff, then I could never bug you again."

"Oh, how terrible."

"Oh, come on Flower, admit it. You love me and I love you."

"In your dreams, Potter!"

"Oh how I love you my dear."

"Just go jump off a cliff, Potter."

"Only for you, darling."

So did you like it? It helped me get rid of my writer's block.