Title: Bugger Off, Potter

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Genres: Humor

Summary: "Go jump off a cliff, Potter." "Only for you, darling." "I meant it." "If I fell of a cliff, then I could never bug you again." "Oh, how terrible." A humorous fic of Lily and James; from fights to even more fights, it's a fic filled with great ease.

Year Seven

"Hi Lily!"

"Hi James!"

"Do you feel like doing something wild."

"For some odd reason, yes."


"Let's jump off a cliff!"

"Okay, but you have to jump off it first."

"No, you have to."

"No, you."




"Shut up you two. Aren't you supposed to be scrubbing those trophies until they shine?"

"I think Filch is angry."

"Really, Potter?"


"I'm still mad at you for getting me in detention. Sirius and I were supposed to be spending time together."

"Does that include snogging on the couch?"


"Well, you know you want to spend time with me. I'm cool—in fact, I'm the coolest of cool. I'm the coolest of cool of cool."

"No you're the loserest of loser. You're the loserest of loser of loser."

"You're making no sense."

"You shouldn't be talking. At least I don't stutter when I'm talking."

"Does it look like I'm stuttering? NO! So that means, I'm not."

"You stutter when you're talking really fast because all of your words clash together."

"They do not."

"Talk fast."

"Lily is beautiful and is a l-l-oser."

"Look, you stuttered on loser. And I'm not a loser."

"No, you're the loserest of loser of loser of loser."

"Let's get back to scrubbing."

"Okay, Ms. Head Girl. I'm so glad you're Head Girl because that means I'm Head Boy. When I received my letter, I was afraid of a hideous girl fulfilling the Head Girl position, but no—when I saw you, my heart burst from my chest."

"Promise me you'll never become a poet."

"I promise, my dear Head Girl."

"Okay, my dear Head Boy, let's get to work."

"Anything for you."

Six Months Later

"I'm sorry Lily."

"About what?"

"I heard about you and Sirius. I bought some flowers and chocolates for you to feel better. I even bought the chocolates that have the peanut butter in the middle of it—the way you like it. I thought it would make you feel better and all."

"You're stuttering James. But thank you, very much. I need something to cheer me up."

"Why did you break up with him? I mean you're sad about this and everything. You could've stayed with him."

"It's complicated."

"Well tell me. I have plenty of time."

"We have classes next, James."

"We'll skip 'em."

"You're bad Potter."

"I know Evans. Now tell me."

"I can't tell you."

"How come?"

"James, don't get any closer to me."

"What do you mean? You mean, you don't want me to scoot over—like this."

James moves closer.


James moves closer.

"You're torturing me, you know."

James moves too close to Lily's proximity.


"James, please."

"Tell me or I'll scoot closer."

"Do you want to know the reason why I can't tell you?"


Lily kisses James.

"That's the reason."

"Do that again."


"Do you not understand me? I said do it again."


James kisses Lily.

Five Months Later

"I promise I'll write you ever day, Lils."

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too. God—I don't want to leave you."

"Since when have you been reading poetry? I thought I forbid you to be a poet. Have you been reading my Shakespeare novels?"

"Couldn't help it."


"Yes, Lily."

"Let's jump off a cliff."

"Only for you darling. Who will go first?"

"I will."

"No—wait. We'll go together."


Did you like it? I thought it was so cute. You're probably wondering why this wasn't classified as romance—well it's because the only romance that was in it was toward the end. It's more of humor. There wasn't any fluff description in it. So I didn't really classify it was romance.

Hope you liked it!

Thank you to all my reviewers. You're simply wondrous and beautiful!