Title: Thirty Days in the Mind of a Rogue

Author: harimadcorlath

Rating: PG

Summary: Rogue's diary during the month of November.

Genre: Drama

Spoilers/Continuity: X1

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men. I just become their slave every once and a while and put out a crappy story about them

A/N: Ok, so I wrote this for a competition back in September but I hated it. I have now rewritten it and I figured I might as well send it out, even if I'm not entirely happy with it. But many many thanks go to Sarah and Jenni for helping me write this. I would not have ever touched it again if they hadn't insisted that it actually was a good story.

A/N 2: This is chapter one of six chapters. The story is complete so I'll be posting the next chapters as soon as possible.

Monday, November 1st

This afternoon Storm and I got sent on a pick up mission. The poor kid was living in a box. It took a little convincing but finally we got the girl to agree to come. I told her she could stay in my room with me. Her name is Kalika and she's eight. She seems to trust me pretty well, but she's nervous around the other kids. She didn't talk to them at all and just stayed by me the whole day. She'll talk to the Professor and Jean a little but only if I'm sitting right next to her. She likes to sit on my lap. I like it. No one likes to cuddle with the Rogue. It's dangerous but Kalika doesn't seem to care. I warned her about my skin first thing. I can control it most of the time so I don't worry about it too much.

There's plenty of space in my room because I have a large room on the third floor away from everyone else. For now, though, Kalika is sleeping in my bed. It's a little crowded but I don't mind as much as I thought I would.


Wednessday, November 3rd

On Tuesday, Kali (that's what I've started calling her) and I went to the mall to buy her some clothes. She didn't think she needed half as much stuff as I bought her. But she hasn't ever had much, so I wanted to spoil her. She had nothing but the clothes on her back. I swear we bought one of everything at Limited Too. She looks so cute though. She's tiny. The Professor says she's eight but she doesn't look much older than six. Jean says that all she needs is good food and warm clothes and she'll shoot up like a weed. I still worry about her though. She's so small. I can't believe how easily I've adjusted to having her with me all the time. She's really smart and is interested in everything. She asks questions all the time. I enjoy having her around. I never realized until now that I've been kinda lonely.

We went horseback riding today. She really likes horses. She wasn't afraid of them. I was glad for a chance to go riding. I don't go more than once or twice a month but I've always enjoyed it. When I was a kid I used to go riding every week. My grandparents owned several horses and I would go out there every weekend. My mom and my grandma used to ride with me and I'm glad Kali likes it too. Those are some of my best memories.

I talked to the Professor today. We decided that it'd probably be better for Kali if I taught her this year and then she went to classes next year. She hasn't ever been to school but she's old enough that she would be embarrassed to be put in with the first graders. So I ordered another copy of all the first grade books. They should arrive on Tuesday.


Saturday, November 6th

The party was fun last night, I suppose. Everyone seemed to have a good time. I spent most of the party standing by the wall watching people. Bobby and Kitty are in love. You can tell just by looking at them. Scott and Jean had an argument before the party. They acted the same as always toward each other but there was a slight bit of tension between them when they danced. I danced several times with Remy but I would have preferred not to dance at all. I noticed something interesting. Jubilee likes Remy. I can't believe I never noticed it before now. Jubilee deserves all the happiness she can get. Maybe I should actually break up with Remy like I had been thinking about doing.

Last night I slipped out of the party 'early' and as I turned the corner into my hall I saw someone going into my room and closing the door. I ran down the hall to my room I peeled off my right glove and I turned on my skin, and when I flung open the door with my hand raised to grab whoever was in my room, it was Logan! He had been staring at the bed and had spun around with his claws out. When I saw it was him I fell back against the door with my hand to my throat and willed my racing heart to slow down. Once he realized it was me he pulled the claws in but he still looked pissed.

By this time Kali had woken up and was staring at Logan in fear. She was sitting up in bed and I went to her and put my arm around her. 'Kali honey, this is my friend Wolverine. We're going to go out into the hall. You go back to sleep.' I told her.

She lay back down but didn't take her eyes off Logan. I pushed him out of the room and closed the door behind us. I could barely see his face in the dark hall.

'Hi, Logan,' I said, shifting my weight.

'Hey, kid. How yah been?' he asked, as calmly as if he'd been gone three days instead of almost eight years. He gave me a hug and I stiffly returned it. It's not that I didn't want to hug him, it's just that I'm not used to being hugged. Even before my mutation came out, when I could still touch, I still didn't hug people. I'm not sure why not. I just didn't.

When he let go of me I realized that I was still holding my glove. I began to put it on but he grabbed my hand and stopped me. That's when I realized that he was wearing gloves. And suddenly I was angry with him. Angry because he had been gone for eight years without thinking about me and suddenly here he was, hugging me and wearing gloves so I didn't have to.

'How was your trip?' I asked. If he could pretend it hadn't been years, then so could I. He looks the same but I know I've changed. I've gained weight in the years I've been here. I've gotten a little taller and cut my hair shorter. It's now a chin length bob.

His eyes flashed up to mine before he returned to his perusual of my body. I tried not to flush.

'Some stuff. Not much,' he said pulling out a cigar. 'Looks like you've been busy.'

I was confused, 'Of course I've been busy. I couldn't just sit around and do nothing the whole time you were gone.' I yawned. 'Much as I'd love to stay up and talk to you, it's one a.m. and I'm tired. Good night, Logan.'

He just grunted a 'night kid.' and walked away.

Kali was still awake when I came back into the room. I figured she would be. Once I settled down into bed next to her she went right back to sleep.

This afternoon Kali played with her Barbies while I worked out. Yes I gave in and bought her two of those nasty plastic things. Logan came in just as I was finishing up my work out. Kali reacted pretty well to the sight of him. She didn't run from the room screaming. She just moved a little bit closer to me and stuck like glue to my leg as we left. Logan looked a little surprised to see me in the gym. I don't know why he should have been. It's not like you can't tell I work out. Men, what can you say?