Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh, Gackt, or Toyota's..
"It's not our world to take. Not anymore. I realize that now." Mai numbly looked out before the ocean. The waves would crash into each other, destroying each other. Beautiful waves would reach to the surface alone and then disappear into the sand. Varon sat beside her looking at the same ocean. They were looking at the same scenery but saw completely different things. She held the bottle to her lips, thinking to herself. Fighting with herself.
"Why can't we take it? No one is stopping us." Varon answered her knowing that she was just thinking aloud. Mai put her drink down on the sand. The bottle seemed to be melting into the ground.
"But someone is." Varon understood what she meant. Mai still had no idea that Varon found out about Jounouchi. Mai still thought Varon had no idea. They didn't say another word and just continued to drink and look out into the ocean as the sun faded into the waters.
"This is the longest time we've stayed in one place." Varon said out of no where as they went back inside the house. It had been six months since they last moved away. They both liked L.A, it was a nice sunny place with nice people and no one bothered you. They liked the quiet. They liked the privacy.
"Are you planning on leaving this place?" She wanted to stay longer. She prayed that he too wanted to stay longer.
"We'll stay a little bit longer. Would you like that?" She nodded and he put his arms around her. He liked it here too. As long as Mai was by his side. That's all that mattered.
In reality she loved Japan. It was her only home. The only place that mattered to her. Why? Because that was the place where she met 'him'. He showed her that she did not have to be alone. That she could have someone with her and still be strong. 'They' could be strong together. So what happened? She got a little bit scared and ran away. Ran far away because she was afraid. What's so strong about that? That's showing weakness. That's running away from your fears. She realized that now. Now it was too late. Now she messed up and in the end was alone.
The airport was noisy and crowded. It was full of people who came and went leaving their loved ones. Who was she leaving? She was actually arriving, but who did she leave? Varon? Jounouchi? Someone else? She didn't know anymore. That's why she left L.A. The both of them were there. Living where she did, seeing her flaw, finding out about each other.
"How long?" Varon asked quietly. He used to always be an angry person. Now he was just hurt. No anger, just pain.
"A couple of weeks." Varon found out. No, Varon had enough of the lies. He was sick and tired of being second best. That was all he was, second best. Jounouchi would always be the first and only.
"You know you have to chose." It was a comment she was afraid to hear. She didn't want to hear it. All she wanted was to be relieved of her dilemma. All she wanted was to be held. To be kissed. To be loved. The only thing she was not sure of was who could be the one to love her?
"Let's go outside. The beach looks so nice right now, doesn't it?" The stars would direct her. The stars would lead her to her loved one. Help her choose. Varon nodded and took her hand.
"Let's watch the sun go down." He would never deny her of watching the sun go down. It was their favorite pass time.
"Varon, promise you will always love me. Never doubt me. Never forget about me." She had made her decision. It was time for someone to be hurt and the way she looked at him told him that he was the one to be hurt. What could he do now? Scream at her, kill Jounouchi? He was her first love. Could he deny her of her true love? No. So he let her go.
"I promise." One day she will understand how much he loved her.
As she walked back to the place Varon and her shared she realized that she was feeling scared again. Does this mean that she would spend her life with Jounouchi? Would it last? Is it possible? No.. yes.. She didn't know. All she wanted was to be held. All she wanted was a normal life. But with Jounouchi? Could it work? Would he piss her off one day and make her leave him? They would argue in the past about stupid things. Would he still be immature? She didn't know. The room seemed to spin.
Arms wrapped around her. It was Varon. He followed her back to their place. He held her tightly. Just how she liked to be held.
"Please don't do this. We could have so much together."
"We can't keep this up. Something has to give. I can't hurt any of you guys again. "
"You want to leave? Leave all the fun? Leave all the memories? How can someone do that?"
"Please. Let me go. I want to do this before I hurt you anymore."
"Hurt me, love me. I don't care."
"But I do." She left him. She never claimed to be a perfect person. She never claimed she would stay forever. She never claimed she would be faithful. She never claimed she loved him. He assumed and she had to correct him.
It rained that night. A harsh rain that felt like it would leave bruises on her skin as each rain drop pounded on her. She left Varon without a place to go to. Without a plan. Without. Her legs took her somewhere without thinking. She ended up in front of Jounouchi's hotel. She ended up in his arms.
There are things I think when I'm separated from you
that I never noticed when we were together.
Just as she hurt Varon she would eventually hurt Jounouchi. She already did a little. The fact that she would leave his place only to sleep with another man killed him. That's why he would always plead with her to leave the other man.
"How is Varon?" He would always ask. A stupid immature joke. He always did that, even before Varon. He would always ask how her other lover was doing. In a way he was trying to civil. In another way he was being a brat.
Her taxi finally came. She had been waiting at the airport for a while. The man is an old Spanish looking fellow who gently smiles at her without a word. Can the old man see through her? Can he see how much she was hurting inside right now?
It's been a couple of months since she last saw either Varon or Jounouchi. Neither of them have contacted her, as if they could. She has been traveling around America and finally decided to go home. She decided once again. Her final decision. Mai tells the man directions to a far away house.
The times when we were laughing with each other
were all just like the times when we were crying...
we've shared both the joy and this sadness, haven't we.
"All that crap he says about smiling, it's bullshit. You can't smile all of the time. As much as you want to, you can't. Sometimes you have to cry in order to smile." I cried into his arms, like always. I felt so guilty and tried to smile my guilt away. When it wavered Jounouchi took notice and told me to cry. My tears continued to fall as I continued to smile. A small sad smile. It made him mad. It made me hold him.
"So you would rather see me cry then smile?"
"I'd rather see you as yourself and not try to hide your true feeling away from me."
They went through a lot together. They have been through the laughs and the tears together. From when Jounouchi's father died to when Mai lost her apartment. All the turmoil they went through, they went through together. They counted on each others support. Each others kind words. So why did she leave him? Why did she run away? Why was she so scared? Why would she throw that all away?
"Stop laughing, it's not funny!" Jounouchi was always clumsy. This time he fell down the stairs and landed on mud. His whole bottom half was dirty with the wet soil. She couldn't help but to laugh at him. He looked so stupid just sitting on the dirt like nothing happened. When she got closer to him he pulled her down. "How do you like it?" He playfully whispered in her ear. She was not amused but his goofy smile made her smile.
"I swear sometimes I think you act like you're eight years old."
No matter whom we love,
although I can never hold you again,
our precious memories together are trembling in the distance.
The days seemed to bleed together. She didn't even know what day it was. All she knew was that he was no longer with her. She could no longer hold him, feel him, love him. She knew she loved him now. She knew she lost him. But was it too late?
"Please. You have me now. Be satisfied with that. You will always have me. No matter what."
"I will never be satisfied if you continue to be with him."
"Just, please stop. Don't ruin this. Just Hold me. Don't let go. Hold me tight."
Their memories together kept her alive. Kept her striving to survive on her own. He asked a simple thing of her and she did it only to leave him as well. Why did she leave him once again? Fear? Guilt? She had to think. She had to really think everything over. Could she really dedicate herself to him? Her only love? Yes, she could. Now she knew that. Now..
Even when she was with Varon she thought about him. She would always think about him. Even on the day she dies.
She felt a chill while driving up the mountains and it wasn't from the cold. The old man dropped her off at a car rental place where she rented a four door Toyota. She didn't need her expensive cars or jewelry. She knew what she wanted now.
There are things I think when I'm separated from you
that I could never have noticed when we were together...
Why didn't she notice it before? How she felt about him when she was with him? She never realized it until she was without him for a couple of months. Without anyone. When she was Varon he slightly preoccupied her mind away from Jounouchi. Now that she had all the time in the world to think about him, she figured out so many things that she didn't know before.
The road was slippery from the snow. The road was no longer visible. It was hard to see. It didn't matter though. None of it mattered. All she needed right now was him. All she wanted with him. Nothing could keep her from him.
It was always a thump on her chest. It felt like she just finished running a race or something. He would look at her and her heart would stop. Now she knew what it was and it wasn't heartburn. After all this time she finally realized that she was in..
A honking was heard in the distance. She tried to hit the breaks but her car kept sliding. She felt the car hit something. Her body jerked back against the seat as her airbags popped out of the steering wheel. Her body felt like it was being crushed into the seat. Her legs felt wet. Her heart felt like it was going to explode. Everything turned black before she could scream out in pain.
Jounouchi heard something. A crash. A scream. He walked away from the lake and towards a road behind his house. When he got to the road he saw a truck in the middle of the road. To the far right of the road was another car. It smashed right into a tree. There was a man carrying someone. The person he was carrying had long blond hair. Jounouchi's eyes widened as he ran towards the man.
"What happened?" He yelled out. The man looked at him in shock. The man was terrified.
"I didn't see her. She didn't see me. We almost crashed but she swerved out of the way or I think I hit her. I'm not sure." The woman had her hair on her face hiding it. The man put her down on the cold street. She didn't seem to be breathing. There was blood covering her legs and arms.
"Hey! Wake up!" Jounouchi yelled. He pushed back her hair away from her face. A tear escaped his eyes and landed on Mai's face. Her eyes were closed. "Oh my God. No." He whimpered. The man backed away.
"Do you know her?" He asked. Jounouchi ignored the man.
"No! No, no, no, no, no." Was all he whispered as he picked her up into his arms and cradled her. "Don't let this happen to us. Please don't let this happen to us!" The snow beside the road was slowly being covered in blood as was Jounouchi. No one except for the man could hear Jounouchi's heart wrenching screams.
She came. After everything she finally chose him. She finally came to him.
Varon sat down in a restaurant by the beach. He drank his vodka with coke. The night sky looked full of stars tonight. A flash caught his eye. Funny. After all those times of watching the stars with Mai, this was the first time he saw a shooting star.
"It's too bad you didn't see it with me. I'll dedicate it you, where ever you are"
"There is a small house in Japan. I was thinking about buying it. It's beautiful. There's a lake by it and during the winter you can ice skate on it. It's really romantic. I'd like to buy it and take you with me so that we can live there together. "
"Do you know the address?"
"Give it to me. One day I'll go there and see if you've bought it. If you did then I'll think it means that you've been waiting for me to come so that we can live together. It'll show your devotion to me. And if you do that, I'll devote myself to you completely."
"Do you mean that?"
"I'll buy it. For us."
"Wait! I was only joking."
Mohahaha.. Yes. I killed her off. I had to. I'm a bad, bad girl Oh well.. Do you think I should do an alternate ending? Well, if I get enough reviews then I'll do it. If not then I'll keep it as is. See you later and thanks for the reviews, You guys are awesome!