She fingered the sturdy metal cylinder without picking it up. The grip was smooth and the tiny switch a bright red, the color of danger among all species that bled in that color. She was surprised to note that she could not completely conceal it beneath her hand. Funny, it looks so small when he's holding it.
He was in the fresher. Taking a shower. She remembered when such a concept had left him gawking at the expense of such a thing. Now, it seemed, he came close to taking such luxuries for granted. Or perhaps not, he was always very methodical about his showers. Hence the sabre. For as long as he'd been a jedi, or as long as she'd known him as one, he'd always left his weapon on the end table when he showered and when he was asleap. Otherwise he never let it leave his position.
She wondered briefly how much Obi-wan's constant reprimands had to do with that. Anakin never let the weapon out of his sight, yet, acording to Obi-wan, this was his eighth one. He'd only been training ten years and he hadn't been allowed one until he was thirteen. From what she'd been told, most Jedi only ever owned one, sometimes two lightsabres in a lifetime. Padmè had to admire this, since she was unable to hold on to a pair of earings.
Daringly, Padmè wrapped slender fingers around the cylinder and lifted it from the table. It was heavier than she'd thought and she tightened her grip to keep from dropping it. Sitting back on the bed, she opened her palm and ran the fingers of her other hand along the length of the electronic hilt. It warmed quickly to her touch and for a moment she thought she cold feel her husbands touch on her fingers. She looked up and he was standing in the doorway, watching her.
Not sorry or ashamed, Padmè met his gaze and realized he was looking at her with curiosity, not irritation. Knowing he wasn't upset, she was suddenly willing to explain herself, though she wasn't sure what her reasons were. "I know I'm not supposed to..."
Anakin shook his head with a smile. He walked across the floor and settled on the bed next to her. With his arm around her, he cupped both her hands in his left one. "I trust you, Padmè," he said sincerely. "I trust you to be careful or I wouldn't have left it there."
Padmè shifted the weapon to his large hand, her curiosity satisfied for the moment. "I just feel like there is a part of you I don't get to know, I don't get to share. Most of the time I don't mind, I don't even notice. It's just a part of you. But sometimes, because of that, I feel like I don't know you at all, like maybe I never will."
Shifting his hands slightly, Anakin put the sabre between his palm and hers. "Well then," he began"I should help you know that part."
He took both her shoulders in his hands and turned her slightly so he was facing her back. "Do you trust me, Padmè? Trust me totally and completely?"
After a moment's pause, just to reassure herself of the answer, she said "I do, Ani. I trust you."
"Good, I want to show you something. Just relax. I don't know how well this will work, I've never tried it with anyonebut Master Obi-Wan and that is not the same."
Giggling at his emphasis, she closed her eyes and let her mind drift like she was waiting for sleep to come. His hands trailed up her neck, one warm and calloused, the other hard and cold though both moved with the same cautious care. Fingers trailed up the side of her face, then back down. The motion was repeated over and over and soon it became hypnotic. With no other distractions, she felt her own mind focusing on her husbands touch.
After a moment her focus shifted and she was gradually aware of him sitting behind her. The bed filed her inner vision, then the rest of the room. The images weren't clear, however. It was like she only caught glimpses here and there. She reached out for the fleeting image of her husband and heard him whisper,
Shh, just relax. I won't let anything hurt you. Only she was positive she hadn't heard anything. Then the whispers came, like a million voices speaking at once, telling her things she could almost understand. Vague suggestions of ideas probed at her mind and Padmè started to shy away.
Stay still, we aren't there yet. Don't worry, everything will be okay. I want to show you something. I think it will help.
Padmè took a deep breath and let Anakin steer her, taking in what she saw and felt but not trying to understand it yet. She had been totally honest when she said she trusted him and was going to prove it. Gradually, the voices died away and one, clear, musical note rang out softly. As more notes joined that one and blended together, Padmè was able to make out a distinct melody and she had the sneaky suspicion that it was never the same twice. The sound wove a visual pattern of colors and lights with a soft white blending them all together into an orchestra. She felt totally and completely calm for the first time in her memory and couldn't help but ask a question.
Ani, what is this?
She felt his smile. This is the Force, the way I see it. It is a little different for everyone, but this is what I feel. Everything you've seen, that was all part of the Force. The first part, with all the images, I sense that almost all the time now. The next part, with the whispers, that is where I go to ask for help or guidance. This is where I go to find calm when I can not find it within myself.
It's beautiful! She exclaimed, reaching out with one hand, careful not to shift too much on the bed. The color strands twisted about her questing hand, caressing her gently and responding to her touch.
We should go.
Why? I don't know why you would ever want to leave this.
Laughter filled her thoughts and in this peace and calm, she wanted to join in. I don't know why either. But you are going to have terrible leg cramps when we get back to ourselves. You've been sitting for nearly three hours now.
But we've only been here a moment!
We've been here more than two hours. He chided softly. He took her shoulders again and mentally steered her back to herself. She had the sudden realization that her eyes were closed and quickly opened them, only half expecting to see their bedroom. Disappointingly, it was, indeed, her bedroom she saw. Turning, she embraced her husband tightly
"Thank you will never be enough!" she whispered into his hair, though it felt as if she were shouting.
"I've wanted to show you for a while now, but I didn't think I could do it well enough until just the other day." Anakin stroked her long hair gently while rocking her back and forth. "I love you so much, Padmè. I have loved you since the beginning of time. I will love you until time ends."
Padmè sat back and picked up the lightsabre from where they had left it on the bed beside them. This sabre he'd had for over a year now, since Geonosis. It looked like he might keep it for a good long time. Padmè was glad, she liked this blue one better than she'd liked the green one he used to have. The blade was the same color as his eyes now. She held it out to him and he accepted it, but not without caressing her hand as they passed the item between them. "I understand now."
"I am so glad, my angel. I am so glad."