By Elora (Carla)
with inspiration from Alia (cole) and Amara (jengi)
(Clears thought) we do not with to infringe on anyone's copyright. So, what that boils down to is that we don't, own the rights to (this is gonna be a long list.); Star Wars, The Sims, Star Trek, The Muppets, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the Hichhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Dune, Stargate, Ender's Game, Krushal's Dart, Lord of the Rings, Alice in Wonderland, Wizard of Oz, Harry Potter, Jurassic Park, Loony Toons, Willow, the Teletubbies, South Park, Sailor Moon, Pokemon, the Smurfs, UPS, E-bay, Winnie the Pooh, Shreck, Teen Witch, or the songs; Another One Bites the Dust, Who Let the Dogs Out, and I Am a Rock. Also, anything else (that we forgot to mention) that we parody, make fun of, quote, write a story about, or just talk about belongs to their respective author/ creator/ designer/ person/ company who owns it. We mean no infringement, and sadly Because of copyright laws we don't make money off it either.
Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi were walking down the hall. Suddenly, a floating mirror appeared before him. Obi-Wan stepped toward it uncertainly, then realized he couldn't stop walking.
"Master" he yelled. But Qui-Gon was caught too. They were pulled towards and through the mirror-
-and stepped out into utter pandemonium. Strange creatures were running around, and there was noise everywhere.
"What the-." Obi-Wan started.
A girl skidded to a halt in front of them. She had rib-length gold-brown hair and brown eyes with gold splashes in them. She also had a notepad and a quill in one hand and another quill stuck behind her right ear. "Hey there. Names, please"
"Who are you and what is this place" Qui-Gon demanded.
"Never mind." The girl said impatiently. "Just-." Then she stopped and took a good look at them. "Oh." Turning around, she cupped her hands around her mouth and bellowed in the opposite direction. "Hey, Alia! We've got Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan here"
"Just a sec, Elora, the raptors have gotten loose! We don't want a Jurassic Park rerun in the school gym"
The girl called Elora yelled at another person in a different direction"Yes, Jengi, we're all very impressed with you and Kermit's dancing skills, but could you get over here and give me a hand please"
"All right" called Jengi.
Elora turned back to them and began taking notes and muttering. "Clothes, slightly altered, boots the same, lightsabers…" she glanced at their weapons carefully. "Way altered, appearance seemingly similar, eyes…" she glanced hard at Obi-Wan, then uttered a triumphant "Hah"
"Hah, what" asked a slightly short girl who came over. She had waist-length brown hair and dark hazel eyes, and she was swinging a three-foot dart gun absentmindedly. Obi-Wan inched away from the gun fearfully.
"Blue." Said Elora happily. "Not green, not gray, not blue-gray, not gray-green, just plain, sapphire blue. Told ya."
"Okay, okay. You can never tell with all the different sources anyway." Alia began looking them over interestedly.
"What did you do with the raptors" Elora asked.
"Locked them in the bathroom."
"Can't they get out"
"Not while they're unconscious." Alia said with a wicked grin.
Another girl came over. This one was tall and had strawberry-blond hair in a ponytail and lighter hazel eyes. On one hip was a brown bear that said "Wakka wakka" every few seconds. On the other was a blond pig that was checking her makeup in a cosmetic mirror.
The girl, who was most likely Jengi, stopped short when she saw Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. "Oh no. Not again. We just started getting a little variety in here, and you guys have to break out the Star Wars again"
"Yes. Suffer." Elora said briskly.
"Suffer painfully." Alia added, grinning.
"Would you please explain who you are, and what we are doing here" Qui-Gon asked.
"Do you want the long explanation or the short one" Elora asked without looking up from her notebook.
"What's the long version" Obi-Wan asked.
"You get a full history of this island, country, planet, galaxy, and Universe, a full history of these creatures and their Universes, political history of America since the Mayflower, political histories of their worlds, a history of our lives, a history of their lives, a family tree background for each of us, and family tree background for each of them, a description and background of their authors, artists, and creators, why they were created and for what purpose, the alignment of their dimensions together, and complete history and background of dimensions, a geological explanation of our Universe's formation back to and including the Big Bang theory, a lifetime supply of toilet paper, a free copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and a chocolate chip cookie."
The Jedi were impressed. Elora had said that all in one breath.
"Well then, what's the short explanation" Qui-Gon asked.
"This is all a bad dream and you'll wake up any second." Elora said calmly.
Alia rolled her eyes at her companion. "Let's just say that we were testing out some, um, unusual powers. We basically wanted to bring in characters from books and movies that we like and see if they were actually correctly described in their book or movie."
"We got the mirror on loan from Alice." Jengi said. "We have to give it back tomorrow, though."
"So we decided to hurry. Unfortunately, we made the mistake of bringing in everybody at once." Alia said, glancing at sparks shooting from a corner, then at Elora.
"Hey, don't look at me." Elora said crossly. "It was your idea to hold the darn thing in the school gym. I said it wasn't a good idea, but nooooo-."
"Oh, come on, like we could actually pull this off in one of our bedrooms."
"It could happen."
Alia kicked her. "Bookworm."
Elora grinned and kicked her back. "Spawn of a lizard."
Jengi kicked both of them. "Star Wars freaks."
They both kicked her back. "Muppet Mooner"
"Let me finish these notes." Elora said, but suddenly a large blue-and-red bird zoomed past her, saying "Beep beep", and making her drop her quill,
"Hey, who let the Roadrunner out" Elora said. She tried to pick up her pen, but a short man ran past her with his arms over his head, with tiny people pricking him with spears. Elora stumbled. "What the- Willow? All right, who let the pixies out"
Suddenly a pack of sleigh-dogs pushed past her, knocking her to the floor. She got up and yelled at the top of her lungs. "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT" Then she stopped and realized what she just said.
Alia and Jengi snickered.
"You were just waiting for me to do that, weren't you" Elora accused them.
Suddenly loud bangs and flashes of light came from one corner of the gym. "Oh great." Said Alia. Jengi stood on her tiptoes and yelled over the crowd. "Harry, Draco! How many times to we have to tell you? NO WANDS"
Elora glanced at her watch. "We'd better get the Hogwarts people out of here anyway."
A freckled, red-haired boy wandered over to them, looking confused. "I don't think this is Hogwarts." He told them.
"Well, would you rather have been locked in a dungeon with Snape for two hours straight" Jengi asked him.
The boy blinked. "Good point."
"Okay, so we got Ron. Jengi, see if you can drag Hermione away from Socrates long enough to shove her through the mirror. Alia, go and make Harry and Malfoy stop fighting, then bring them here."
"And if they don't stop" Alia asked.
"Threaten them with the dartgun."
"Effective strategy." Alia said as she walked away.
"Okay, now could you two do a few practice drills? I want to get this down." Elora asked Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan.
They shrugged and complied. Elora watched them, taking notes. Then Alia came back with two boys, and Jengi with a girl.
Alia grabbed the boy with the scar's wand, while he said "Hey" indignantly. She pointed at the mirror and a dorm room swam into view.
"In you go." Elora said pushing the redhead, scar-boy, and the girl through, and throwing the wand in after. Then Elora grabbed Malfoy's wand, pointed it at the mirror and the scene changed to a teacher's office.
"Where's that" Jengi asked.
"Mcgonagall's office." Elora said with a wicked grin.
"Why" Alia asked.
"A little thing called one month's detention for being out of bed after hours." Elora said as she shoved Malfoy through and tossed his wand in afterwards. A woman's voice floated through the mirror, outraged and menacing.
"It's the simple things in life you treasure." Alia said contentedly.
"Yeah. Well a major thing I don't treasure is that we are going to have to get rid of all these people." Jengi said, looking around at the chaos.
A red-suited thing walked up to them. "Po loves you" He said, looking up at them adorably.
Elora looked at Alia. "Shoot him."
Alia raised her dartgun. "Gladly."
Po bites the dust.
"Who let the Teletubbies in anyway" Alia asked.
Jengi whistled innocently, watching an imaginary bird. Elora glares at her.
"Just for that, we're getting rid of the rest of them." She informed Jengi. "Do a favor for society."
"Much as I want to see them dead, I'm not going to go Teletubby-hunting when there's others I need to get rid of." Alia said. "Get someone else."
"No problem. Yo, Buffy"
A blond young woman wanders over. "Yeah"
"See that" Elora said, pointing at Po's body. "That's a demon. Evil. There's more around here. Stake 'em."
"All right." The girl shrugs and wanders of again.
"Who else were you planning to shoot" Jengi asks.
"Him." Alia points in the distance.
"The shrimpy kid in the orange parka." Elora says.
Alia aims and fires. The kid bites the dirt. "That's for being a parka-wearing freak" She yells at him.
"Oh my God-." Elora starts.
"Don't say it." Jengi warns.
"It's too late. The urge is overwhelming. You killed Kenny"
"Sailor Scouts due." Alia said, checking her watch.
Five girls in altered school uniforms and a guy in a tuxedo came up. One girl with pigtails that reached her knees and weird hairballs on her head tripped and fell on her face, then bawled.
"Even more annoying in real life, isn't it" Jengi asked as she shoved them through.
A little yellow rabbit-like creature wandered over. "Pikachu." It said.
"Uh oh." Said Elora, looking down at it.
The Jedi and the girls were assaulted by a very painful electrical shock.
"Okay, Pikachu gets it." Alia said, aiming her dartgun at Pikachu.
The yellow pokemon hits the floor.
"That's one less poisoner of society." Jengi said.
Suddenly several tiny little blue people run past them. Elora stares after them with wide eyes.
"All right, that's it." She reaches into the mirror and pulls out what suspiciously looks like a bazooka. She runs after the little blue people, waving the gun in the air and screaming "Prepare to be exterminated, Smurfs"
"I think she's finally lost it." Jengi remarks calmly.
"Oh well." Alia says, shrugging.
"Um…can we leave, please" Obi-Wan asks in a small voice. Alia looks at him, surprised.
"Oh! Yeah, sure. Jengi, what are the coordinates"
"I don't know." Jengi says, shrugging. "Ask her."
"The mad lady with the bazooka who's trying to squash the little blue people."
"Oh. Hey, Elora! What are the Temple coordinates again"
Elora ran up beside them, breathing hard with a maniac gleam in her eyes.
Alia blinked. "Could you repeat that, please"
"Just touch the darn thing with a lightsaber." Elora catches sight of something in the distance. "Sardaukar! Evil troops of the Padishah Emperor! Feel my wrath! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA" She runs away, waving the bazooka in the air.
"What? You never told me the Dune group was here! Let me at 'em! Prepare to suffer, doomed slaves of the Emperor" Alia runs off, waving her own dartgun and giving off a war whoop.
Jengi blinks calmly. "And another one bites the dust."
She grabs Qui-Gon's lightsaber and prods the mirror. It changes to show the hallway that they were in originally.
"Okay, here you go. Nice meeting you." She pushes them through. The last thing they hear is her voice saying"I'm going to have to get my partners some serious shrink work tomorrow…"
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are standing in a hallway in the Temple. Obi-Wan turns to Qui-Gon.
"Did something just happen to us, Master"
Qui-Gon shrugs"I don't think so, padawan. Let's continue on."
They walk quickly down the hall.
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