Title: An Assassin and White Porsche 13?
Author: Seraphim Grace
Archive: (eventually),
Always appreciated and replied to.
Rating: T
Pairings: Crawford+Ran Omi+Nagi
Warnings: none I can think of

I got Schoen and Hel confused in the last chapter, It's Hel that wants to go work for Muraki, not Schoen, Schoen is the blonde model apparently. It's been amended on the website, but I thought I'd let you know being as no one pointed it out to me until I reread it and realised I had them the wrong way around.


"Okay," Crawford said from the back of the car, glad of the tinted windows that offered them some privacy. "According to the brief the Elders gave us, we need to be photographed in at least two acts of independent criminal intent in these costumes. Therefore I've worked it out, we'll rob this bank tonight, and then tomorrow we'll burn down a Starbucks or something. Just make sure you appear on the camera, I'm looking at you here, Berserker."

"What?" Farfarello said looking innocent.

"If we do this right," Schuldig said, "we can be in, out and home in normal clothes in half an hour." They looked around before taking a deep breath. "There's no one inside, just go in, make sure we're on camera, go home. They have a Werner Herzog horror movie marathon on tonight that I don't want to miss."

"Ooh," Farfarello said, "Klaus Kinski hurts god. Come on, Crawford, soonest done soonest home."

"I can't believe we're doing this." Crawford lamented into his facemask. "We're super villains, we don't rob banks."

"They have close circuit security." Schuldig said, "and no one can tell it's us. In out and we'll be home in twenty minutes."

"We can make the elders suffer for this." Farfarello said patting him on the arm in condolence. "I have every intention of making balloon animals with their lower intestines and shoes from their spleens."

Crawford looked at him and then moved a space down on the car seat quite obviously. He took a deep breath, "Let's do this."

"Alright with him everything is?" Tim asked as he looked at Nagi who was lying across the sofa with his head in Omi's lap. Omi was calmly stroking his hair as Nagi made unintelligible noises.

"Commercial voice recognition software." Omi said quietly.

Tim dragged his breath in through his teeth. "Ice cream would like you, ne?" He asked encouragingly. "With sprinkles and thousands of days and topping cherry. Voice recognition software bought me for Bruce, mad thought I'd go. Understanding me. Hacked for friend, work fine now. Still not recognise word some better but." He looked around. "Naru where?"

"Getting us some dinner." Omi answered, amazed he could understand what Tim told him. "We're having pizza."

"Japanese food?"

"No, you damn American idiot!" Nagi snarled, "we're having pizza, not Japanese food, not pizza with Japanese food on top, we're having four cheese pizza with soda." He was sat up and his eyes were blazing, behind him all the knick knacks on Omi's shelves were levitating. He looked rather frightening.

"Naoe." Omi said softly, "he means well."

"He's still an idiot." Nagi answered.

"He can't be." Omi was quietly placating, "he's learnt Japanese in a week."

"Badly." Naru said from the door, "Now let's all forget this animosity and have pizza."

They broke into the bank with little fuss and made sure to stand directly in front of the cameras as they tried the drawers they knew were empty. "Stop there, evil doer." A voice said from the shadows.

Schuldig swore "scheisse." He turned around in a flourish of bright yellow cape, "we couldn't rob the first bank of Japan, oh no we have to rob the one protected by some cut price superhero."

"Hey," Nightwing, for it was he, protested, "I'm hardly cut price."

"But you're not Batman, are you?" Schuldig answered, "For crying out loud you're not even as famous as Robin."

"I was Robin." Nightwing muttered under his breath.

"Oh no, being international super-villains aside we don't get stopped by members of the justice league or even the teen titans."

"I was a founding member of the teen titans." Nightwing protested.

"We get caught by some man in an all in one."

"Says Bananaman." Nightwing snapped at him, "Who appears to have gone on a crime spree with the most embarrassed man in crime and Batfink."

"We are being forced to wear these costumes." Crawford said dryly, "What's your excuse?"

Nightwing seemed at a loss for words at that, though he might have mumbled, "thought I looked good, showed off my ass really well."

"Hey, Oracle." Schuldig said in Crawford's head, "this guy's got intentions towards Aya."

Crawford answered calmly. "Berserker, kill him." Farfarello smiled.

"Stop there." A second voice said.

"For crying out loud." Crawford snapped, really missing his magnum. It was at times like these he really wanted to shoot someone. Perhaps that was why the Elders had requested, rather firmly, that he leave his magnum behind. "Look, this was supposed to be in and out and home in time for the Werner Herzog marathon on channel 9. Berserker, kill the American idiot."

The rescuer grabbed Nightwing by the shoulder, "come on."

"I've done this before." Nightwing informed him, "I have my own plethora of villains I defeat on a regular basis."

"They will kill you." Hissed the shadow, who was wearing a very similar outfit.

"And Lady Vic, Blockbuster and Brutale don't try?"

"No," snapped the shadow as the run, "they make it look like they try because if they manage to kill you they're out of a job."

Nightwing gave this some thought. "I am one of the most skilled martial artists in the justice league."

"And he has more knives than a Ginza factory, come on."

On the rooftops, the shadow looked around. "I think we've lost them." He said. "And Oracle's right, you are an American idiot. Why do you people always assume you're invulnerable?"

Nightwing silenced him with a kiss.

Aya pulled back spluttering. "What? How? What?" Then he slapped him with an open fist causing him to stumble backwards. "Who do you think I am? Catwoman? I am Shiroi Tsubasa and I'm more than capable of taking you out myself."

"Aya, wait." Nightwing said, pulling off his mask, "It's me, Dick."

"Well, duh." Aya answered, "Oh, you're wearing a tiny mask," he said very sarcastically, "I can't recognise someone who has been trying to be my shadow for days. I will utterly not be able to recognise his voice, or his build, or the rest of the face that I can see."

"It works in America." Dick grumbled.

"So does AOL's marketing." Aya snapped.

"I really like you." Dick answered.

"I have a boyfriend."

"Who is cheating on you."

"According to you."

"I saw it with my own eyes, he was with a woman." Dick protested. "I wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially you." He took a step forward. "You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen, and I've seen princesses from other worlds whose fire could stop the human heart." Aya, unfortunately, was not immune to flattery when it was well given, Yohji could be a little crass but this was like a cross between Yohji's flirting and Crawford's intelligent conversation. It had its own appeal; he had to admit. "I really like you, Aya, I'd really like it if you would come back to the 'Haven with me."

"What's that your super secret superhero hide out?" Aya was slipping but he was still angry.

Dick burst out laughing. "No," he said, "Bludhaven, it's where I live."

"I can't." Aya said firmly, "I have," he paused looking for the right word, "obligations here."

"We'll be going back soon," Dick said, "I don't want to have to leave you. We have a lot in common, you and I, even costumes." He offered a wry grin at that.

"We're very different." Aya told him bluntly. "And I have a boyfriend and I'm not going to scalp him just on your word. If he is cheating on me, then we'll talk, but not before." He turned to Nightwing. "Now, do you need a lift back to the hotel?"