The X-Files Presents… The Mystery of the Man with the Strange Twinkie-Loving Mosquitoes"

This is pure random fluff. Based around Twinkies. I would have given you the Wheat Thin story, but I don't feel like typing it. Um, this isn't serious stuff. Un-betaed. Please. Volunteers.

Dedications: To Kathleen (yet again!) for being the first to read this and to Soy Sauce (the person)- let's go! Go blue Jell-O! Love ya all, 'specially the freaks!

Disclaimer: Don't own the X-Files.

Mulder rubbed his eyes and stared at his computer screen. This report was taking FOREVER! With a sigh, he got up from his chair and walked out into the warm summer night.

He was about to look for UFOs in the sky when a mosquito bit him on the right arm. He whacked it off, cursing.

The next instant, he had an overwhelming urge for a Twinkie…

(Opening Credits!)

"Agent Mulder, why are you eating a Twinkie?"

Skinner's voice cut through Mulder's visions of jumping through a Twinkie-covered meadow with his partner, Scully.

"I, uh… was hungry?" he said, unsure if this would be satisfactory.

Skinner frowned and Scully refrained from laughing. Skinner gave her a glare and continued, "Mulder, you've eaten five Twinkies in the past ten minutes. Your report has 'I am the number one Twinkie fan' all over it. You called Agent Scully 'Agent Non-Twinkie Face' when she disproved your idea of the missing girl being abducted by aliens. What's going on, Agent Mulder!"

Mulder had unwrapped his sixth Twinkie, "Hm?"

Scully turned to the somewhat angry Skinner, "Sir, I think I have a lead on the missing girl. There was some amateur footage of her walking into a house."

Skinner sighed, "Check it out, Scully."

Mulder was on Twinkie number seven.