Disclaimer: Harry Potter and its characters belong to JKR and so on.
Summary: One-shot. HPLM. Harry is feeling lost and he turns to Lucius to find a stable ground.
Warnings: Slash. HP/LM. OOC.
He looked around and tried to spot the person whose hair had caught his attention. However, it was just too crowded that it gave him a headache as he tried to differentiate faces, builds, and power. Harry let out a sorrowful sigh, and reentered the cafe. He did not know why he had felt so excited when he saw the length of silvery-blonde hair. Now that he could not find the person, he felt horrible. Disappointed. He picked up his mug of hot chocolate, but then found it unappetizing and set it down on the table. He left the cafe, and headed home.
It just made no sense to him, why he would ever want to see the wizard who had made him suffer so much. The way he responded to the mere thought of seeing Lucius again was strong enough to make him think that he had lost his sanity. Lucius had raped him. Lucius had killed all of his friends. So why did Harry want to see the wizard? Harry tried to remember any incidents, incidents that might suggest that he had been tampered with. I can't be indebted to him, right? The very thought made Harry stop dead in his tracks. It took a while for him to shrug the thought off, and continued his journey home.
Harry stopped by the porch of his house, and bit his lip. It was so quiet. Hedwig was not there, and for some reason, Harry felt lonelier than ever. Hedwig is a normal owl. You can't expect her to live beyond her years, Harry, he reminded himself gently. It did not stop him from missing her. He sighed again and entered his dwelling. He was so lost in his thoughts that he did not notice the figure who watched him calmly using a pair of cool, gray eyes.
Harry froze instantly at the voice. His heart started to pound in his chest. He could not turn around - his body was frozen in fright.
"Who could imagine that you would try to look for me?" the other wizard taunted. "Why would anyone ... sane ... try to look for someone ... who had broken him?"
Broken... Harry grimaced. His neck prickled as Lucius Malfoy stood behind him. Harry could feel the wizard's warmth and power, and he shivered as Lucius leaned forward to breathe in his ear.
"Turn around," Lucius ordered.
Harry tried to comply, but his body would not. "I-I can't," he managed to say.
Harry bit his lip. "N-no."
"Really?" Teasing fingers ghosted over the side of his neck.
"I don't know."
He gasped when Lucius' lips fastened on his neck, and the wizard suckled on his pulse.
"Answer me!" Lucius hissed dangerously.
"I told you, I don't know!" Harry shouted and pulled away. Lucius' eyes glittered dangerously, and he backed away, slowly.
His back bumped against something solid. It felt like a wall, and Harry grew alarmed. There shouldn't be one!
"Why are you running?"
"I don't know."
"Why were you searching?"
"I don't know."
"Why are you crying?"
I'm not- However, something wet dropped on his lips and he tasted it. He was crying. "I don't know," Harry whispered. He closed his eyes, not wanting to look at Lucius' piercing gaze. "I don't know."
He could feel Lucius' arms flanking him, and was not surprised when Lucius kissed him. Harry still remembered his ordeal when he was at Lucius' mercy, and participated, before Lucius could order him. The older man was somewhat satisfied with his initiative that he now held Harry like a lover. Harry did not mind the touch at all. He molded himself into Lucius' embrace, and kissed Lucius as affectionately as Lucius did.
"What do you want?" Lucius asked softly.
Harry was about to say that he did not know, when the answer came to him. "Someone." That was it - it was what Harry wanted for all this time. The reason why he was so desperate to see Lucius again was that Lucius was the only living person he was familiar with.
"Harry, open your eyes," Lucius murmured.
He did so, obediently.
"I'm sorry." Lucius caressed his cheek lovingly.
Harry blinked and stared at Lucius for some time before resting his forehead on the supportive shoulder. "Will you stay?"
Warm. Lucius was comfortingly warm. The heartbeat Harry heard thundering in his ears made the quietness of the house less depressing.
"I will. I don't have anywhere else to go."
Harry nodded tightly and squeezed Lucius slightly. He lifted his face and tilted his head back invitingly. Gentle, caring lips brushed his own, and for the first time, Harry felt like he could smile. Wordlessly, he led Lucius to the couch and lay down. It felt right, and less lonely, when Lucius settled on top of him. He lifted his hands, and let his fingers traced Lucius' features. Harry did not mind Lucius' company at all, and company was what he needed badly.
"I'm not going anywhere."