I do not own either of these characters. Unlucky me...Little not: I spent EIGHT hours on this...straight. I didn't move from the computer until I finished it. I'm SO pleased with it. One of my better fics, and it's not even a songfic! GASP! Anywho, enjoy.
The thunder was really loud. Since when was there going to be a thunderstorm? Whatever. But it was keeping me awake, and I didn't like it. The damn thunder was keeping me up. Well…that, and the thought of Holden kissing Alyssa. After I'd caught them kissing on the sofa the other day, I almost flipped. But I just didn't feel like yelling at the top of my lungs that early in the morning.
Why the hell was he doing this? He knows I hate her. That probably doesn't matter to him. I'm out of the goddamn picture, and now it's all about that bitch. That little slut. I hate her with a burning passion. I hate her and everything she represents. She's going to change everything. Just throw all our hard work away. Just so she can get in Holden's pants.
It's really raining hard outside. I wonder if Holden's awake. This'd be a good opportunity to tell him how shitty Alyssa makes this house seem. It would be a good idea. We're best friends. He should dump her ass if she makes me uncomfortable, right? I mean, that's what I would do for him. I'd do anything for him.
I get up and push off my covers. My baggy t-shirt hangs loosely over my black boxers as I move towards my door. I pull it open and walk around to Holden's door. The rain and thunder are still echoing over by the window. I don't wanna look. This shit scared me since I was a kid, and I've been able to ignore it pretty good. I don't wanna ruin it.
I push the door open with my palm. The door doesn't squeak. It never did. I can see Holden's outline on the bed, covered with his blanket. I feel the strangest sensation while I see Holden laying there, but I can't place it. He looks so peaceful…lucky dick.
My feet propel me towards his bed. I stand in front of him, towering over him. A small smile creeps over my lips. He looks really great just lying there. He looks almost angelic.
WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING! No, no, no. I shake the thoughts from my head and crouch down beside the best, my head level with his. I think of shaking him, but some unknown force stops me. I can't help but stare at him. Why is this happening? The shadow cast by the open door washes over his face. He looks perfect.
This time, I don't stop myself from thinking this. I can't help thinking about him this way. I can feel a startling realization coming on, but I shove it to the back of my mind. Shut up, brain.
Wait, wait. Why am I moving closer to his face? Holy shit. This is weird. My lips suddenly are against his in a soft kiss. Oh my god…he has really soft lips. This feels weird…but it feels good. I can't describe it. I move my hand up towards his thigh and let it rest there. I hope to God he doesn't wake up.
There comes that startling realization again. Stop. Stop. Go away. Too late. It's telling me that I love him. I just want it to shut up. But no. It keeps echoing in my head that I should tell him I love him and all that shit. But I can't, because I'm not even sure that I really do. The startling realization assures me that I do.
But I don't want to jeopardize our current relationship. But my feelings towards him would explain why I hate that dyke…because she has him and I don't. Yeah right. I hate her because, not only is she stealing the person that means the most to me in the entire world, but because she's such a little bitch.
I pull my hand back from his thigh and I continue to stare at him. I can hear him breathing. It's very steady, very controlled, much like him. It was soothing to hear him breathing. I moved my head so that my forehead rested on his arm and my ear is near his mouth. It's therapeutic and calming and all around a turn on.
My eyes close and I sigh. Why am I feeling this? This is so strange. So random. So out-there. I don't like it, but kissing Holden felt…right.
I can feel my hand moving up towards his cheek and brushing it softly. The thunder still rages war outside our window. A loud one cracks and I jump slightly, my hand still on Holden's face.
"What are you doing?" Holy shit. He's awake. I look at my hand and then move it from his face. He grabs my wrist.
"I-uh…um…" I don't know what to say. I am at a loss for words. His hand feels good around my wrist. I want to inch my shoulder back so he is holding my hand, but I think better of it.
He rubs his eye with his free hand. "Man…" He asks. "Were you stroking my face?"
I say nothing, but my eyes skitter down towards the floor. I know I look guilty.
"…Why were you stroking my face?" He asks.
"I don't know, Holden." I blurt out. I just wanna get out of here, but as soon as I try to move, he pulls me back.
"I was just…" Admiring your beauty? "…Making sure you were okay."
He looks a bit skeptical. "Alright." He let me go. I stood up thankfully and sighed.
As I started to walk out of the room, Holden called my name.
"What?" I ask.
"C'mere." He says. My heart stops as I walk to the bed. I watch as he swings his legs over the side and sits up.
"What?" I repeat. He grabs my shirt and pulls me down on top of him, kissing me. Oh, God…this is so much better than doing it to him when he's asleep.
I can feel his hands release from my shirt. One hand goes behind my head and pushes me forward into the kiss. The other finds the small of my back and pushes that forward, making my groin push against his. Oh man…
Now I'm running my hand down his face freely, not caring what the hell is going on. It feels really good, and I don't care if he will later tell me that he was only playing or some stupid shit like that. I will not regret this.
I pull my lips back for a second and rest my forehead against his. "You taste good…" I whisper.
"Do I?" He asks.
"Oh yeah." I kiss him again, and I feel his tongue work it's way into my mouth, and I allow it. This feels so surreal.
"Thank you, my friend."
The way he sounds, he's probably going to tell me later that he was joking around. Probably just fooling with me. Just trying to screw with me. Something gay like that…
Oh my god. I pull my head back.
"What is it?" He asks.
"I'm not gay."
Holden sighs. "I know, Banky. I'm not either."
"So stop making out with me, dick-head." I say, trying to sound as if I hadn't enjoyed it.
I roll my eyes and stand up, feeling his hands unwilling fall from my body. I bite my lower lip and walk out of the room, confused.
The thunderstorm is still going on. Damn. I move towards the window at the far end of our studio and place my hand on the window. It feels cold under my fingers. The rain beats the window furiously and I shiver as the thunder yells louder and the lightning flashes. I always feared these as a little—
I feel a hand on my shoulder. I spin around and wince as the thunder cracks again.
"Banky, I know you're scared." Holden says.
"The thunder, jackass."
"No, I'm not. Jeeze. It just caught me off guard, is all. Damn."
"Banky, relax. You told me your afraid." Oh, that's right. I did. Damn.
"Why don't…you come sleep with me tonight?"
I contemplate his offer, knowing that I want to blurt out yes. I nod, trying not to look like a maniac.
"Alright." I say. I follow him to his room and lay down on the left side of the bed. Holden takes his original spot on the right side. He pats my thigh as I lay down.
"'Night, buddy." He says.
That's it? After what we just did? Just a Good-night, buddy! What the hell, Holden!
"Yeah…good-night." I say.
He turns on his side to face me. "Turn over."
"What?" I ask, bewildered.
"Face the wall, idiot."
"Um…okay." I lie on my side and face the wall as the thunder shakes the room. His arm comes around my stomach and pulls me towards him. I can feel his body heat against my back and I feel more at ease than I can ever remember.
"Better?" He asks.
"Yeah. Night." I say, grabbing his right hand with mine.
I can hear him sigh contently. "Good night."
How very right he is.