"I gotta pee." Peach whimpered from her spot in the passenger's seat. Zelda rolled her eyes and turned the steering wheel slightly. "I really gotta pee." Peach sobbed.
"SHUT UP" Link yelled from the back. He kicked Peach's seat and crossed his arms.
"Well soooooorrrrrrrrry." Peach snapped. Four of the smashers, Zelda, Lnk, Roy, and Peach, were on a five mile road trip. Or that's what they had thought. Peach had had the map upside-down so they had been lost for five hours. The smashers were hot, tired, hungry, angry, and Peach had to pee.
"Stop fighting! Hold it, Peach" Roy snapped. His hair was damp from sweat. "Peach, do you have to have the heat on full blast in the hottest part of summer" he complained.
"I need to keep my beets fresh somehow." Peach said. There were about two dozen beets crammed in the back of the car.
"Wanna play the license plate game" Link suggested. The group mumbled agreements. "Dreamland license plate. Zebes license plate. Hyrule license plate. Mushroom kingdom license plate. Kanto license plate. Onnet" Link was cut off by Zelda's shriek.
"Cheater" she cried. Her hand reached for the air conditioner. Peach slapped it away.
"Oh no you don't" she cried. Zelda reached over and turned the knob. The car was filled with refreshing air. "NO" Peach shrieked and pulled the knob back. Everyone in the car felt waves of hot and cold air being turned on and off.
"Peach, I will open the back door and scoop you beets out if you don't leave the air on" Roy yelled.
"Link, we just passed the five mile point to Cheeseland landmarks. Where's the nearest gas station" Zelda asked.
"Next exit on the left." Link reported. They drove on. "There it is" Link cried. Zelda looked to the left.
"Turn my heat on" Peach wailed and turned the heat up. Zelda slapped her hand. Peach hit her and turned the heat up. Zelda turned it back this continued till they reached the exit.
"Zelda, turn, turn" Link cried. Zelda was busy hitting Peach she looked up just as they drove past the exit. "NOOOOOOOOO" Link cried.
"Pull over." Roy fumed. He glared at Peach. She saw this through the rear-view mirror and stuck her tongue at him.
"We can't. It's a highway, genius." Zelda snapped. Roy looked confused. He looked at Zelda.
"If it was a highway, there'd be more cars." he retorted. Zelda rolled her eyes for the second time in half an hour.
"This is a country highway. There are cows on by highway. Boy those Cheeselanders are weird." Zelda said. Link looked at the map.
"If we keep going, there's a rest stop half an hour to forty-five minutes away." Link read.
"From there we'll be able to attempt a u-turn." Zelda said. The teenagers agreed.
"Zellie, why can't I drive? I'm seventeen too." Peach pouted. She crossed her arms.
"Because, you suck at driving." Link retorted. Peach sniffed the air for no apparent reason.
"Ahhh, beets. The cold air wafts around the delicious smell." Peach sighed. She unbuckled her seat belt and crawled back into the trunk.
"Peach, no" Roy cried. It was too late. Peach had stumbled into the trunk with her mountain of beets. She began to toss them around.
"I'm going skinny dipping" Peach declared. She took off her crown and threw it over her shoulders. It hit Link in the head.
"Peach, get back in your seat" Zelda yelled. Link was rubbing the sore spot on his head.
"That's it." he grumbled, rolling up his sleeves. He unbuckled his seat belt and crawled into the back with Peach.
"Link, no" Zelda screeched. But Link was in the back. He was unlocking the door.
"I am going to toss all of your beets out this stupid back door" Link yelled. He began to unlock the door.
"No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o" Peach moaned in slow motion. It was odd, for the rest of the world was moving just the same.
"Peach, what's up with the slow motion yelling" Roy asked. Peach was still busy sobbing.
"Link, don't. We have enough problems in this car." Zelda snapped. Link paused.
"These beets will be the cause of my death. They have to go." Link said in a serious voice. Roy nearly cracked a rib from contained laughter. Link unlocked the door and kicked it open. Beets were sucked out by the wind. Link kicked all of the rest out. Peach's eyes grew wide, then shut.
"Those beets were my life. They were my sanity. They were my lifeline to the real world. If you cut by beet flavored life line, I'm nothing. So I will become nothing." Peach cried softly, a tear leaking out of the corner of her eye.
"Peach, no. Don't do this" Zelda cried. Peach faced her friend. She turned away again. Then she faced her. Then she looked away again.
"I have to. I have to be with my beets." Peach said and leapt out of the car.
Zelda could swear she still heard Peach's last cry. But then, something good happened.
"Wait" Peach cried. She had an armful of beets and was running alongside the car.
"Peach, how did you still be alive" Roy proclaimed. Peach shrugged and a beet fell from her pile.
"You were only driving ten miles an hour because Zellie was in so much shock. I love-I mean- thanks, Roysie Boysie." Peach said. Zelda pulled over and tried to open the door.
"The doors are jammed. You have to come in through the window." Zelda yelled. She rolled down the window and helped Peach in.
"Thanks, Zellie. Thanks Linkie Poo. Thanks Roysie Boysie." Peach said. She looked at Roy the longest.
"What, do I have Maximum Tomato in my teeth" Roy asked after five minutes. Peach looked back at the road.
"How much longer till we're there" Peach asked. Zelda checked her futuristic watch.
"About twenty minutes." she said and looked back at the road. Peach began to twiddle her thumbs.
"I'm bored." she groaned. Roy, Zelda, and Link rolled there eyes in unison. "I'm still bored." Peach proclaimed.
"Good for you." Link said sarcastically. Peach began to count her beets. She ate one.
"I'm still bored." Peach said stubbornly. Roy's face grew red. He turned to face Peach.
"SHUT THE HECK UP, PEACH. THIS ENTIRE CAR IS BORED, BUT YOU DON'T SEE US COMPLAINING" he screamed.
"Soooooooooory Roysie Boysie." Peach said and ate another beet. There was silence for about five minutes. "I'm still bored." Peach proclaimed. Zelda blew air out her nose. "TALK TO ME" Peach cried.
"No" the rest of the gang proclaimed in unison. Peach rolled her eyes and began to count her beets. Soon she got bored and tossed one at Zelda's head.
"Hey! Watch it, Peach." Zelda grumbled and turned slightly with the road. Peach grabbed another beet and threw it at Link.
"PEACH, QUIT IT" Link shouted. Peach grabbed her beet and ate it. "Why oh why did you bring her" Link moaned.
"She's my friend" Zelda turned on the radio. Peach began to doing the monkey in her seat.
"Turn it off of Peach will start dancing with her beet." Roy retorted. Peach shot him an evil glare as Zelda switched off the radio.
"Fine, then. I'll just have to sing. I could have DANCED all night! I could have DANCED all NIGHT" Peach sang in a very off key voice. Link covered his ears and moaned.
"Zelda, stop the madness" Link yelled over Peach's very loud, obnoxious singing.
"You handle it. I'm trying to get to drive. We're only ten minutes away and I am not missing my turn" Zelda said. Link unbuckled his seat belt, pulled out a roll of tape, and advanced on Peach menacingly.
There was silence for a blissful five minutes. Peach had Link's sock stuffed in her mouth and mouth taped shut.
"Five minutes. I see the sign. They say they have a teleportation pad." Zelda said happily. The group cheered.
"Thank you Din, Nayru, and Farore." Link cried, closing his eyes in thankfulness.
"I still really really need to pee." Peach mumbled through her bind in the middle of a silence.
"We're there! Somebody, unbind Peach. We're at the rest stop" Zelda cried. Roy unbound Peach as Zelda parked. Link unbuckled and unlocked his door. He tried to open it.
"Zel, just one problem." he said, tugging at the door. He gave it a good kick. "The door is jammed." he said.
"Let me try mine." Peach suggested. She unlocked her door and pulled at it. "No" she cried and hit it with her beet. The entire car tried their doors. The entire car was stuck.
"Wait, Peach jumped out of the car through the back. Maybe we can get out that way" Roy said.
"That's brilliant Roysie Boysie" Peach said and hugged him. Roy rolled his eyes and crawled into the back.
"It's open" he exclaimed. He crawled out and stretched his legs. "FREEDOM" he shouted. Link, followed by Zelda, then Peach, crawled out too. They were out of the dreaded car!
"Okay, now all we need to do is find the teleportation pad." Link said and backflipped.
"This is no time to show off, Link." Zelda scolded and they began to look for the pad.
"Just one question." Peach asked. Zelda nodded. "Can I pee now" Peach asked.
"Yes, Peach. Run like the wind. We'll meet you at the snack bar." Zelda said and Peach dashed away.
Five minutes later, Peach appeared at the snack bar. She looked as if she had just won a war.
"Okay, lets all get food, then ask the clerk where the pad is." Roy said. Peach grinned.
"Great idea Roysie Boysie. Oh yeah, Roy, there's something I want to say. I wrote this poem about you." Peach said. Roy couldn't stop her before she began to recite.
"Roysie Boysie I loveth you
You make me want to say shmu.
Your eyes are blue
Hair like flames
Warrior dude, Roysie Boysie,
You're the light of my lamp." Peach recited. Roy nearly burst laughing. Peach looked offended.
"Light of your lamp" Roy finally asked. Peach nodded energetically. Roy rolled his eyes and patted Peach on the shoulder. "Well, in the words of Peach, Peach E. Keen, I loveth you. You make me want to say shmu." Roy said and walked off. Peach fainted on the spot.
The was a burst of light and the smashers appeared at Smasher Mansion. Peach fainted again.
"Hey" Captain Falcon said. "How was the car trip. Where'd you go, Australia" he asked.
"Uh, it was, interesting." Zelda said. Peach leaned her head on Roy's shoulder.
"I'm really glad that's over." Link said. Captain Falcon looked concerned, but shrugged it off.
"We got lost. Peach had to pee and jumped out of the car. We missed out turn and Peach said shmu." Roy said.
"O-kay. Hey, Sam and I wanted to know if you guys would come on a car trip with us. We'll take my car." Captain Falcon. Link screamed and ran, followed by the rest of the group. What'd I say"