1No, I do not own Stargate. No, I'm not making any money off of this. Yes, I do realize that obsessions are unhealthy. Now leave alone, why don't you?

Um... This takes place before the Siege, but no spoilers, other than the characters existing.


"It's dark in here."

"No really, I hadn't noticed."

"Can't we just flick on a light switch or something?"

"The Ancients didn't have light switches!"

"Well then, would you tell me how to turn the lights on?"

"If I knew that, would we still be here?"

"Well, I never know with you."

"Thanks, your confidence in me is overwhelming."


"It's really dark in here."

"Would you stop repeating yourself?"

"Only if you say please."

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.


"Yes, major?" Thunk.

"What are you doing?"

"Banging my head against the wall."


"No, I'm actually playing Bach on my piano."

"You suck at playing the piano then."

"Hey, I resent that!"

"Come on, it's not like you play the piano."

Another Silence.

"Do you?"

"I used to. I've been a bit too busy the past few year though."


More Silence.

"You know, it's really..."


"I was going to say 'it's really a pity that you don't play anymore because we're thinking of having a talent night, but yes, you're right, it is dark in here."

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk-Click.

And then the lights turned on, allowing the two men to see the exit on the other side of the room.

"How'd that happen?"

"Dunno. Maybe your head hit the switch or something."

"For the last time, the Ancients don't have light switches!"

Meanwhile, a very disgruntled Zalenka was handing several chocolate bars over to Grodin, who was grinning smugly. If you were close enough, you might have seen the sight of two men walking out of a room on the monitor, and heard two friend arguing good-naturedly about light switches.

"I told you McKay would snap first."


My family was watching Stargate Atlantis last night. Or at least we were trying to. The first segment of the show was just a black screen. Obsessed fans that we are, we amused ourselves by filling in the blank with the beginnings of this fic. You know, just incase you wanted to know.

Esfd is still on hold til April. I'll dedicate my next story is anyone can tell me what my first divider is from. Ta! Don't forget to review!