Authors Notes
You asked for it - you got it. Apologies in advance. No rubber duckies were harmed during the making of this fanfic - and no not all rubber duckies will suddenly rise up against the human race. Probably.
Thanks go to Steff and Gelf
And remember folks - the rubber duckie MADE me do it!

"But, I'm not really all that dependent on it Adam... I can do without - but its my friend..." Whined Jesse Kilmartin, standing across from the rest of Mutant X in the lab. His puppy dog expression flicked from each team member, but all were holding firm.

"I cant have a team member who is dependant on a rubber duckie. It's just not... not.. good for our overall image" Said Adam as calmly as possible, while simultaneously figuring out Jesse's trust account pin number.

"I am not dependent! I can take it or leave it" Protested the New Mutant.

"Fine. Then you can leave it behind then, can't you. You are going. No buts, no whys and no begonias" Said Adam, waggling his finger. 2 digits down, four to go...

"But I don't wanna go to Rubber Duckie Rehab" He wailed.

"Tough. You. Are. Going. Two weeks - and then I want you back rubber duckie free." Said Adam, and turned back to the computer console that had DNA images on it. Adam had no idea what they all meant, but hey it made for a great screensaver, so what the hell.

"Okay, I'll go to stupid rehab. I just have one request." Said Jesse, hope shining in his eyes.

"Whats that man" Asked Brennan, lounging whilst still looking gorgeously attractive to anybody watching. He was after all the stud of the group.

"Can I take my donald duck slippers"

"NO" Yelled everyone in the team.

Jesse winced, putting his hands over his ears.

"Okay, Okay! Jeez." And he went to pack a few things for his trip.

Jesse had been gone two days now, and all was quiet in Sanctuary. No missions had cropped up, and everyone was taking a breather - even Adam who had returned with a suspicious amount of cash with the explanation of it being in the lost and found, and a huge grin on his face.

All the team were sleeping, including Adam (having drunk a bottle of scotch) and nobody spared a second thought for the rubber duckie sitting forgotten on the lab shelf.

But the duckie had been witness to everything, and it was not at all happy with the thought of Jesse being taken off to rehab. It liked his friend Jesse. In fact Jesse was it's best friend in the whole world. So when it was certain that everybody was asleep, it chucked itself off the shelf and onto the lab floor breaking a few phials of some liquid or other.

As the night wore on the rubber duckie grew... and it grew... and then weilding the power of the cosmos (everyone knows rubber duckies are the most intelligent species in the universe, right? Well they are, so there) it began to take its revenge upon the team. And when it's work was done, it returned to its normal size and waited for the morning to come.

Shalimar woke first, as Adam had a hangover from the night before and was sleeping in, and stretched in her normal catlike graceful manner. She dressed in the skimpiest most sexiest morning outfit she could find and then sauntered to the mirror to marvel at her wondrous blonde (natural) locks of hair. What she saw however horrified her beyond belief.

Instead of the blonde tresses that curled so pleasingly, which during the course of the mission would somehow become straight and business like, her hair had turned to brunette. Not even a nice brunette. But that was the end of the Feral's troubles.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH ADAM! ADAM" Screamed Shalimar, rushing into Adam's bedroom.

Adam groaned, clutching his head and trying very hard not to focus.

"What the HELL... Shalimar? What're you doing, I thought we agreed only on Tuesdays! Wait, it isnt Tuesday is it" He wondered, his brain all fogged up and clumsy.

"ADAM ITS TERRIBLE! I CANT GO ON" Sobbed the Feral, soaking Adam's sheets.

"What? Shal - what could it possibly be? Emma isnt dead again is she" Gasped Adam, shocked at the state of the feral. Had she done something different with her hair?

"Adam... ADAM... I have split ends" Wailed Shalimar.