Presenting … Lucas Danes?
By GilmoreGirl1979

(BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!)
A part of The Woulda Shoulda Coulda Series: The GilmoreGirl1979 edition
(Also Available the LuvzAFunEthing edition, I'm cross-promoting that way! )
accept no substitutes

Rating: haven't done this for a while... let's say PG-13? Because we CAN CAN CAN! (yes, Moulin Rogue)

R/R: yes please I love reviews, I wanna marry them (as previously stated, I have strange passions.)

Hi! this is your friendly disclaimer I don't own, No Harm No Sue. WE just use the Gilmore Girls dolls during our slumber parties…. It's fun (shirtless Luke: with coffee pouring action, and the "Fry it and Buy it" Luke's Diner Play Set sold separately!) dialogue BORROWED from 2.06 - Presenting Lorelai Gilmore (written by Sheila R. Lawrence directed by Chris Long) Some Dialogue and intentions have been altered by me, Gilmoregirl1979 (It's more Fun THAT WAY!).

OY, WITH THE INCESSENT A/Ns ALREADY:
A/N: I thought we could use some LL goodness in light of … AHEM, shall we say recent events; which I will refrain on commenting on since my close friends have heard my rants already… and since many of you may know my mind on the subject already … (Luvz, Pink, Gcmel, jo jo, Kris)
Oh who am I kidding! This is also to twist the knife in the bastard's gut! (HEY ! I finally found my theme…. Snap Snap Snap )

A/N2: I know this is very verbatim eppy to start… but I needed to set the scene exposition what-not, okay? (waits for silent approval) …Okay, and the first change IS in the first scene and the story sorta of builds around that… more deviation in the next chap... you can enjoy my witty commentary on the situation... I promise! enjoy RR appreciated…

Deep thought of the day! (dedicated to GCMEL):
-
even the smallest pebble can make big ripples in a pond
(TJ: now that's something there?)
When you start to read this, it may seem very eppy heavy, but imagine a pond, and said pebble (the change.the question) NO wait I've got a better image…. Okay imagine Jess on the lake's bridge… okay… and Luke pushes him into the lake (A- I told you I watched the dvds over and over.. and B-jess is now the pebble, ) and has been cast in to said lake. The further the water waves away from the pebble/sopping Jess, the bigger and bigger the ripples are, the more apparent the change is to the whole situation. Just give this fic a chance.(did you like that gcmel?)

Summary: The Question(aka pebble, aka JESS into the lake..):
What if Chris couldn't make it to Rory's Debutante Ball?(would we really have been surprised?) Once again inspired by my incessant Yelling at the TV while watching my SEASON 2 DVDs….. and the rantings that come out of my mouth. (Luvz, can you hear me?)

Dedicated to Luvz, whose having a rough patch (we're working through it!) with the not so happy LL moments recently (100 and 101) … faith baby… all will be well in the end… may this 'woulda' cheer you up!

Gcmel: (If reading author's notes is wrong, I don't wanna be right! LMAO) If you love the A/Ns you should see the live show! (WITH VOICE INTONATION AND EVERYTHING-THAT'S JUST NUTS!)
I soooo missed you too, I'm sorry for withdrawal pains.. and yes, I DO write funny cute witty A/Ns to be read(why they are soooo long); I'm glad someone is enjoying them.. though I'm sure many of you just skip over them to get to the "Good Stuff" lol thank you gcmel, for taking the time to read the side splitting fun… I TRY…WINK.. email soon! PS ANDif you like the authors notes, you'll love my disclaimers…(why does everything sound like a commercial slogan? LOL)

Jeep girl(a spoiler fan of easy virtue, WINK! ) Sorry for the loss of your… 259, rant to me any time (I rhymed) … and yes I am still writing wouldas, Oh look, here's one RIGHT NOW, … ENJOY!

IT WAS: Presenting Lorelai Gilmore

IS NOW: Presenting … Lucas Danes?

By Gilmoregirl1979
A woulda shoulda coulda

A/N4: in ASP's world… that is how it could have happened… BUT HOW ABOUT THIS?

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Chapter 1:
I Need A Hero

Thursday Evening (Day one)

Rory Gilmore entered the kitchen, took a deep breath, and announced to her mother, "I'm coming out."

"Out of what?" Lorelai distantly asked, a bit confused since her mind was engrossed in her business school studies.

"Out into society," Rory clarified as she sat down at the table with Lorelai.

Lorelai wanted to laugh, "What are you talking about?" still rewriting her notes.

"I went to Grandma's house after school."

Now with a reference in hand, Lorelai's head shot toward her daughter, now knowing where this maybe going. "Okay, right away, BAD." The final word was punctuated with wide eyes, Have I taught her nothing!

Rory continued her story. "And, her DAR friends were all there and they were talking about this debutante ball that's being thrown."

"Oh no," if only patricide was legal, GAH! Wait that could back fire…

"And when I got back from Grandpa's office, they all invited me out onto the patio."

Lorelai now voiced her worst fears "No, no, no, please tell me you did not go out onto the patio."

"I went out onto the patio," she stated matter of factly, because that is what happened.

NO, "Ugh, Rory, that's like accepting the position as the drummer in Spinal Tap."

"Before I knew it, Grandma was telling me how important it is for a person to be properly presented to society …"

I've heard this speech, multiple times. "Ugh!"

"And how every young girl dreams of this day ... "

That's what they all say, "Agh!"

"And how there are flowers…"

This is not happening to my little girl. Lorelai rolled her eyes …"Oh Lord!" shaking her head.

"And music …"

"Please!" she elongated, OH GOD! Flash Backs!

"…And cake."

Snapped out of her dismay "Oh yeah, the cake's actually good," with a smile.

"And before I knew it, Grandma was bringing out your old dress and I was trying it on and…" Lorelai got up from the table to get the phone. "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting you out of this." she began to dial, No daughter of mine will be brain washed, thank you very much!

"Mom, wait."

In disbelief Lorelai began her rant. "I swear, there is nothing in the world my mother is better at than getting someone to agree to something that in any other universe, they would never ever consider."

"Mom." Rory still tried to get Lorelai's attention.

Ignoring her daughter Lorelai continued. "I am still convinced she had something to do with Lily Tomlin doing that movie with John Travolta."

Rory finally took the phone away, "I'm doing this," Rory confirmed.

"Why?" Lorelai completely not understanding, Who is this child that I thought I had birthed and reared.

"Because you should've seen the look on Grandma's face when she asked me. It's just really, really important to her."

" But. . ." Lorelai began to argue.

Now it was Rory's turn to ignore. " Now if it's that important to her, and it's not that important to me, then why shouldn't I do it?"

"Rory, do you now what a coming out party says?"

"It says I'm a woman now," Rory responded simply.

Oh my poor deluded girl "No. It says, 'Hi, I'm Rory. I'm of good breeding and marriageable age, and I will now parade around in front of young men of similarly good breeding and marriageable age so they can all take a good long look at me.'"

"You're exaggerating."

"No, it's like animals being up for bid at the county fair, except sheep don't wear hoop skirts."

"Look, I promised, but you don't have to be apart of it if you don't want to."

"No, no, if you wanna do it, I'll help. It's just weird. This is all the stuff I ran away from. I just assumed you'd be running with me."

"Well, I would, but I heard debutantes don't run. Something about the heels."

Lorelai sighed, "All right then. If you're sure, where do we start? Uh, let's see. Well, you have a dress. You need a dowry, I guess." Grabbed the porcelain cow centerpiece, that was currently Lorelai's favorite, from the table; and set it in front of Rory. "There you go. And uh, you'll need shoes, hose, gloves, some mice, a dog, a pumpkin." Lorelai noticed Rory's new expression. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing." Frowning at the requirement handbook in her hand.

"Rory", In her best fess up tone.

"Oh, no, it just says that your father is supposed to present you at the ceremony."

"Oh,"" right, right, CRAP!

Rory shrugged it off, "Whatever, its no big deal. I can get someone else to do it. Grandpa probably."

"Rory."

"Or Taylor."

OH PLEASE! "Okay?"

Last resort! "Or the cable guy looked pretty friendly last week. Maybe he has a tux."

"Hand me the phone."

"I was kidding about the cable guy. What are you doing?"

Lorelai strained to remember the last valid number of Rory's Dad, he's changed them quite a bit. "Look Missy, there are plenty of things that should weird you out about coming out, but inviting your father shouldn't be one of them."

A computerized voice came over the receiver "The number you have dialed …"

Lorelai Frowned "Umm, wra. . . gum wrapper. " and hastily copied a new number the voice recited.

"He's not going to come."

"You don't know until you ask." Lorelai still wanted her daughter to have some semblance of a relationship with her dad.

"Mom."

Lorelai dialed the new number, "Look, we call, we ask, there's no harm. Trust me. Cable guy's not going anywhere." Suddenly Lorelai heard Christopher's voice over the receiver. "Hello… "

"Ugh, hi. Chris, Where the hell …"

"… you've reached Christopher Hayden, I am unable to answer my phone right now,…"

Why? Are you trapped under something heavy? UGH voice mail … and Lorelai paced into the living room, not wanting to have Rory hear how she was gonna tell off his cell phone.

"… please leave your name, number and I'll get back you as soon as I can….."

Weird? It's sooo … dry? Lorelai was always proud of all the witty phone message creations she had come up with over the years; She even started a notebook so she could reuse the best of them. This didn't even sound like Chris. Like a stuffy, serious Chris clone.

The beep came up "Chris, HI, … ummmm it's Lorelai… Hey, … ummm okay, So I have some shocking news. Uuuhhh Rory's … coming out," Lorelai said with a laugh still unable to believe it herself. "… Not in the 'don't ask, don't tell' kinda way, but in the whole 'White dresses, gloves, curtsies, Fan Dance' Kinda way. Ummmm, She's doing it as a favor to my mom, and there's no talking her out of it. believe me , I've tried. … Anyway, I know this is totally not your thing, but as you will remember, part of the whole coming out process involves the girls being escorted around the dance floor by their … Dads. … Now, I know you would rather sit through 'Endless Love' than ever be apart of this scene again. But this is very important to your daughter and she has never asked you for anything, and although no one's keeping track," yeah RIGHT, "… it would seem that your constant non-presence in her life and your lack of ever showing up when you say you're going to or calling when you say you're going to or basically doing anything when you say you're going to would tend to indicate that you owe her, … big time. Now you have sometime to think about it … and before you say no, I want you to take a minute and remember you have a great daughter who needs you and she has a mother who will hunt you down like a half-priced Kate Spade purse if you disappoint her…. SO, ummm It's next weekend. PLEASE Call back ASAP, for more details… " With that, Lorelai hung up. Was that all in one breath? I amaze even myself!

Rory walked into living room. "SO what's the story, morning glory?"

Wow, she is actually wincing in anticipation, "Well I left word, … humming bird" Lorelai tried to cheerfully returned, trying to bring optimism back to the household "…. Now … we … wait."

Rory's face fell, she didn't seem at all surprised. Lorelai internally fumed, Damn you Christopher. Damn you for making my daughter make THAT face.

Rory sighed, "Well, it's alright, there is always the cable guy… "

"Hey Little Debbie, " Lorelai wanted to sound encouraging. "… let's not give up on your Dad just yet? Okay? He may have been out, or …" she really didn't know where he could have been. She really didn't know what Christopher did with himself these days.

Rory was more than skeptical, "You're kidding! Right?"

"Look we just have to … give him a chance to respond, Okay. Lets give him a few days, in the mean time; we have plenty to keep a lady busy. We have your dress to think about, and your hair to decide, Dance lessons." THAT should be fun "… convincing Dean that tuxes are cool…"

"There is always the James Bond approach?" Rory offered, knowing Dean best.

"Hmmmmm James didn't wear tails … or gloves, unless he was defusing a bomb…."

"Still could work." Rory shrugged.

"Well let's get started!" then a sudden dread hit Lorelai "Oh no!"

"What?"

"Tomorrow! Friday Night Dinner! It's gonna be all about sleeve length, proper shoes; Two-three hours of my mother explaining the symbolism of roses over lillys."

"Now, now, a lady never complains."

"We'll they sure drink a lot, that's why there are the fun 'out there' royals in the enquirer!"

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Saturday Night, (Day three)

How could all of this not have been settled last night at dinner? We even stayed an extra hour with Emily going on and on incessantly about every historical nuance! Lorelai was pacing around her house; she was on the phone with her mother about every little stinking detail about this stupid mating ritual. " No Mom, I'm sure one crinoline will be plenty. No, she doesn't. I'm sure she doesn't. Yeah, in what scenario would I have bought Rory elbow length kidskin gloves, Mom? Oh, I'm sorry, I meant what scenario on my planet would I have bought Rory elbow length kidskin gloves?"

Rory gave here mother a silent and sympathetic thank you, as Dean and Lane were on the couch watching TV.

"So? " Rory enticed.

"So what? " Her boyfriend responded.

"It's good huh? "

"It's the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction. "

"And doesn't Neil Young look cool? "

"I guess. "

" If you'll notice, he's wearing a tux. "

" Neil Young looks cool because he's Neil Young, not because he's wearing a tux. "

Lorelai was making yet another lap around the couch. "No, I don't have to ask her mom 'cause I know the answer. … I know the answer, … Mom, I know the answer…. Yeah, no, okay, well I don't have to ask her Mom … Hold on. Rory, would you like Grandma's hairstylist to come and set your hair before the ball?" Rory's face scrunched up in disapproval of that suggestion, " . . Oh, I did not coach her Mom; go back to talking about gloves. " Jeez with you monopolizing the phone how is Chris gonna Call!

" I think you're gonna look great in a tux. " Rory never really saw Dean dressed up before, well formally dressed up, suit with no tie was the best so far. He was more of a t-shirt and jeans kinda guy.

"Tails. " Lane corrected.

"What? " Dean totally put off by further humiliation.

Lane explained, reading from the booklet explaining the requirements. "Yeah, according to this it says that all escorts must be properly attired in black tails, white cummerbunds, and white gloves. "

"What? " Dean echoed,

" I'm sure the gloves are optional."

"Not according to this," Lane informed, perusing the set in stone requirements.

"Tails? Gloves?"

"Remember Neil Young."

Dean only made a displeased face.

Rory tried again with a smiled " Remember that you love me."

Dean's expression did not change.

" Remember that I'll be watching BattleBots with you for a month. "

At that Dean finally sighed, "Show me Neil Young again."

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Sunday afternoon (day four)

I took the day off for this? No wait, Emily ... insisted ...that I take the day off for this! Three hours of shopping with my mother, I should get a metal! Ooo New reality game show, 'shopping with your mother' if you survive you win a real shopping spree without her judgmental comments over everything you try on! Lorelai and Emily walk through the front door of the elder Gilmore residence, carrying several shopping bags from Bloomingdale's, Neiman Marcus, and every store in between.

I can't believe this! ." Twelve pairs of pantyhose. " Lorelai announced for the benefit of the empty Foyer.

Emily defended her meticulous nature, "It's going to be a long night. She's bound to have a run."

"but, … Twelve pairs? " like she'll be able to change in that hoop skirt.

Emily "There's the presentation, the circle, the curtsy, the fan dance. " piling her many bags on the ornate couch.

" Mom, there'd have to be a 12k run and a jujitsu demonstration for her to go through twelve pairs of pantyhose. " Where would Rory change these runny hose? At the table, let the future husband get a free glimpse at married life? Mom is crazy? "Oh I know how about she wears them all at once so we don't need to worry about finding a quiet corner!"

"Does it really hurt to be prepared, Lorelai? "

Lorelai gave up, "No, Mom, it doesn't hurt to be prepared."

"Thank you. "

Lorelai smiled, one final jab. "And the good news is, now she is prepared for her high school graduation, her college graduation, her marriage, three to five anniversaries, a hostess gig, and jury duty, especially if she's sequestered. "

"You make me tired. " Emily sighed.

Back at ya!

Emily started sorting her purchases, she asked cheerfully, " What about Christopher? When is he arriving?"

Awkward subject change, Wow, this is the moment! Crap! "Oh ummm well… ummm Mom?" Lorelai was saved by her father, unintentionally of course, Richard walked down the stairs, distracted by what ever he was reading.

Emily was surprised by her husband's presence "Oh Richard, I didn't know you were home. " and Lorelai sighed, she still had more time to think of a delicateway to tell her mom they didn't know where Chris was or if he was coming.

"Yes, well, we learn something everyday. " Richard offered in a very dry tone, still distracted by his folders of information.

"You didn't have to work? "

"I am working." He snapped.

Lorelai tried to break the hostility she was sensing from her father, and keep the subject off Chris for a few more precious seconds. "Hey Dad, guess how many pairs of pantyhose we bought today? "

"I'd rather not, if you don't mind. "

Emily found a small bag, just remembering what she wanted to show Richard. "Oh Richard, I got you some beautiful new cuff links for this weekend. "

"I already have cuff links. "

"I know, but these have bulldogs on them. Come look. " Bull dogs for Yale, I just know he will love them!

"I'll look at them later. " loosing his patience for this situation.

"All right, fine." Lorelai saw how Emily tried to hide her hurt feelings, after all Emily had thoughtful picked them especially for him, but if he was too busy. "well, Just remember to pick up your tux from the cleaners tomorrow."

"I won't have time. "

" It's right around the corner from your office. " Emily reasoned.

"I have to go in early tomorrow. "

"Well, go now."

"I am busy now. "

"Doing what?"

Richard's voice raised slightly, "Emily, I am not going to qualify my time with you. I am not going to pick up my tuxedo. You planned this ridiculous affair, you pick up my tuxedo. Or I simply don't have to go. Either one of these options is fine with me." And Richard retreated to his study.

Lorelai felt safe to reenter the conversation again, now that the dragon had left the room. "Hey Mom, I might be reading too much into this, but um, is something going on between you and Dad?"

"What are you talking about? "

"I don't know, he just seems a little less jolly than usual. "

"He's just busy. "

" He seems upset. "

"Well, he's not".

" You seem upset. "

"Well I'm not. We're both fine. "

" Okay, … my mistake. "

"I better go pick up his tux. " and Emily gathered her purse and coat again.

"MOM… wait."

"Lorelai please… not now… " and Emily left in a hurry.

Sure when I want to talk to her. If her mother didn't want to talk about the ins and outs of her marriage, then fine. Lorelai wouldn't push the issue. But there was still the issue of how to best handle Christopher lost in a Time Warp with Tim Curry. As awkward as the subject was, as sensitive her mother seemed to be at the moment, Lorelai honestly didn't know what to do. What is the protocol for this situation? Damned if I know, the one thing that handbook doesn't have in it! Damn it WHERE IS Emily Post when I need her; she's off to pick up a tux! Lorelai began to wonder if The Men's Warehouse sold actual men. Their spokesman sure looks fatherly. Two tasks on one trip, a father figure for Rory, a hunky guy for me ...

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Sunday afternoon, (Day four)

In her usual style, Lorelai rushed into the diner 4:30 p.m. "Oh My God, I need Coffee, " Please Luke, don't deny me! I've just spent time with my Mother!

Luke's gravely voice shot back, "For the last time I'm not God, don't make him smite me for your mistake."

"Wow, that was so funny I forgot to laugh because I need COFFEE! 3 to go please, oooo and 5 brownies… "

"Five?" Luke questioned.

"2 for me, 2 for Rory, 1 for Dean?" she reasoned quickly …

"At least you're fair…" the baseball cap shook with sarcasm, "So, What's up? why so frazzled? " knowing she would have told him even if he didn't ask, as Luke prepared her order.

"Well, my mother is driving me absolutely nuts with this whole debutante ball thing…" twelve pairs of panty hose, HA!

"With what?" Luke asked, clearly out of the loop, … as usual. He's Luke, not much of a gossip.

"Girls dance around and have men bid on them, .. well practically, no money is actually exchanged, at least not till the pre-nups fall through … A debutante ball, a coming out, high societies version of a cattle auction with white dresses." She rambled.

"You're kidding right? I thought those died out."

"Old money never dies, it simply changes hands." In her patented "I wish I was kidding " tone.

"Okay? … So this is for Rory?" Luke was still trying to understand.

"Yup, she agreed to it. My folks have been,… well kind of … off .. lately, so she thought maybe this would, …" she shrugged "I don't know cheer them up, bring 'em closer together. I don't know… " shaking her head.

Luke marveled at the gesture of the selfless teen, "That is one amazing kid you got there." He could imagine what it would be like, he remembered a few old movies his mom liked to watch; And knowing Rory for as long as he had, he just couldn't picture her there. She's so down to earth, modest, humble. Who knows how she got that way with Lorelai as her mother. "Here you go. " handing her the bag and a take out tray.

Lorelai paid for her goodies, "Thanks, Luke, … later" she called over her shoulder and she was off again. With her hands full, Lorelai had struggled to get the door. Luke had anticipated that her third hand hadn't evolved yet when he handed the bag to her. So as she turned away, he was already around the counter, and by her side to opened the door for her. Luke gave her a small half smile.

She met his blue eyes " thanks, … again," a little embarrassed, she smiled back at his small chivalrous gesture, and was now truly on her way.

Luke took a few seconds to stare after her as she headed toward Patty's, then a customer got his attention to settle a bill.

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Sunday (Day four) still …

Rory and Dean were at Miss Patty's for their dance lesson. Lorelai came with the coffee and snacks from Luke's, in case the teens needed a break; from the sound of things she had come just in time.

Miss Patty's commanding voice rang out "Now, keep counting in your heads. Look each other in the eye. Dean, are you leading?"

"I have no idea."

Patty stopped the CD " Okay okay, stop stop stop. Now remember, one of the most important things in ballroom dancing is to remember to spot, otherwise you're gonna get dizzy. So, what you wanna do is you wanna pick out something to focus on. I usually like to find a lonely seaman. Then when turning, whip your head around and find your spot again." spins around "Hello sailor, hello sailor, hello sailor. Now you try it."

"You've gotta be kidding me. " Dean grumbled.

Rory tried to lighten his serious mood " I think you can do it without the 'hello sailor' part. "

" Rory. "

" BattleBots. "

" For the rest of your life. " rolled his eyes but took his girlfriend in his arms again. Lorelai smiled at the couple, well they have mastered the art of compromise.

"Now take it from the top. " and Miss Patty turned the CD on again.

Lorelai watched for a few movements of music, "Hey, you guys are really improving. Now you're actually facing each other…. Would a break be alright Patty? "

Reluctantly, but seeing the work ahead of her, and craving a cigarette, Patty sighed, "Okay, take five, but don't sit down because your muscles will get cold. "

" So how's it going?" her mother genuinely interested, noting Patty's frustration.

Rory vented "Actually, I'm not very good. "

"Yeah, which is really holding me back because I'm a natural. " Dean's tone full of sarcasm.

"Well, maybe you just need a glittery glove and a really freaky face. " Lorelai suggested.

Rory was clearly fed up. "At one point Miss Patty thought Dean was gonna get hurt, she made me sit in the corner and watch."

"Hey! Nobody puts Baby in the corner." Lorelai loved being able to use her useless cultural references to lighten heavy moods.

"Mom, I totally suck, and I have to do that stupid fan ... thing in front of everyone too."

"No, honey it will be okay… you guys just need some practice. "

"and…" Rory hesitated.

"What?"

"There's a father daughter dance … "

Oh boy! Forgot about that. Hard too fake that with a mannequin, I guess.

Rory sighed heavily "Any word from dad?" she winced again, anticipating the answer.

Oh him, … "Oh, umm well, … not yet…" Lorelai forced an encouraging smile, Man Could I really use some back up right about now… ! it's only been … 4 days…

As if that was the answer she was expecting. Rory put down her coffee "Come on, Dean let's try it again." Dean shot Lorelai an unsure sympathetic glance, but went back to making his girlfriend happy, by participating in this ridiculous affair, like the good little puppy he was.

"Rory …" Lorelai felt the need defend Chris, … yet again.

"No, Mom, forget it! You always do this! You always defend him. You always cut him slack. Do you know what he does with that slack? He runs, … further and further away from us." Lorelai could tell Rory was really hurt by Chris ignoring her. "All my life, he's been on the other side of the country! He's not interested, he doesn't want to be involved, Mom! I can't remember the last time I talked to him. So fine, he's life is so interesting, he can go off and live it. I'm sick of it, I'm done, as far as I'm concerned, he's not coming, accept it and move on!" and Rory turned back to Dean , waiting for her beau to take the lead again.

Lorelai frowned, feeling so bad that she couldn't make Chris appear out of thin air for her daughter, but growing even more angry at Chris for falling off the planet … again!

Sensing the tension, Patty hit the music again, and her comforting voice came up beside Lorelai. "uh, Lorelai, dear."

"Yes?"

"They really need some work, so I thought I could meet with them after school?… everyday this week?"

"Fine arrange it with their schedules, bill me later,… I need some air."

"Of course, dear."

She fumed as she went outside and tried Chris' new number again. Voice mail again. "Hi, … Chris, It's Lorelai … again… " she bitingly sing song-ed, Let him know I'm annoyed!

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Sunday(day four) continued…

About an hour later, Lorelai was on the couch, flipping through a magazine, looking for some idea of the type of dress she should wear to this infuriating event. The front door opened and Rory entered the living room.

"Hey" Rory smiled timidly.

"Hey" Lorelai smiled back at her daughter."Feeling better?"

Rory sat with her mother on the couch. "I'm sorry I snapped at you, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at… him!"

"It's okay, … and what you said was pretty dead on. It's just … " Lorelai tried to explain. " I've never purposefully kept you from him. You know, he's always been welcome to visit or call. After last year, I thought we'd... see more of him. ...and you know, you are such a great, amazing kid, that I just don't see … why he feels the need to stay away …"

"Mom. He's selfish, okay he's … living his life for himself and no one else. I've never wanted for anything? You are all I need."

Appreciating her daughters words, "But I don't want you to be one of the girls who grows up bitter and hates all men cause she didn't know her father … "

"I don't hate all men, Dean is nice to me, and I'm nice to him."

Lorelai teased in a high pitched voice, "kissy kissy."

Ignoring her mother's jest, "I get along with Grandpa. And Taylor is pretty tolerable when he's not off on some crazy quest to 'better the town'." then Rory smiled, " and Luke; I like Luke, his burgers, fries, his coffee, his pie, he's got it all!"

Lorelai smiled at the mention of Luke, "Yeah, he is something. isn't he?"

"Hey, you wanna go to Luke's for dinner?"

"Sure" Another chance to annoy my diner man.

"I'll get my coat." Rory sprung up happy that their little spat had been settled.

Wait,... My ...diner man? Lorelai pondered.

"Mom? ... Let's Go…"

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The next day
Monday evening (day 5)

It was obvious to everyone in Stars Hollow, Rory had truly given up on her dad's coming. Not only had Miss Patty recounted her little speech, but her mood and the air she carried herself with was a dead give away. Surprisingly, out of respect, the town kept their distance and let her be, even Kirk. Sure last night she put on a good face for her mom, that everything would be alright. But all day, the problem was weighing on her mind. During school, on her bus ride home. Now she had to figure out how to makeher debut work, ... without Christopher's presence.

Why should this time be any different, Rory fumed internally. Yesterday at Patty's she appeared strong with her anger, but even so, Chris' lack of participation or interest in her existence as his offspring, still hurt just the same. However, it was nothing new, Rory had expected this from the moment her mother suggested calling him. Now the only thing that pressed on her mind was who could be a suitable, … replacement? Maybe that's too harsh a word, … even for dad. Hmmmmmmmmm a stand in? a stand in father is what we need. And Rory sighed heavily, at the thought of Taylor in a tuxedo. As she sunk into one of Luke's chairs, trying to sort out an answer, while Lane was brainstorming at a mile a minute, looking for a loophole in the debutante ball guide and requirements handbook.

Lorelai followed her daughter and Lane into Luke's. The last few days she could sense the disappointment and hurt in her daughter, even before her little speech at Patty's. And Lorelai knew Rory was already formulating what to do in this situation. She hated that Chris always seemed to do this to Rory, and well to Lorelai too. Why IS he so selfish!

Luke had noticed the dark cloud hanging over Rory, as soon as she walked in. She seemed to move slower, and she wasn't smiling, lost in deep thought. Rory was fairly easy going for a teenager, it would take a lot to get to her. He recalled at breakfast she seemed to eat slower than normal, too, and she almost missed her bus. Luke could tell, Rory was … preoccupied. Luke began to wonder if she now realized she was in over her head with all the debutante crap. "Hey,.." Luke greeted Lorelai as she walked towards the counter.

Lorelai approached the counter to place their order, a huge smile on her face, as to not alarm anyone. "Hey Luke, .. Could we have those amazing, bacon cheeseburgers, with large plate of chili cheese fries, chocolate milkshakes, and maybe, a huge sundae when we are done with all that."

Alright that's Comfort food, and this morning it was chocolate chip pancakes? For Rory's benefit he barked. "If You keep eating like that you, two won't fit in your fancy dresses." Then he leaned closer, habitually getting Lorelai a cup of coffee."What's with her?" he asked low and frankly, out of concern, nodding in Rory's direction.

He always knows, Lorelai sighed, realizing she didn't need to wear the sunny face anymore. Luke was her friend, he had figured it out. She sat down at the counter,she could tell him the truth. "You know about that whole… debutante ball thing we're getting ready for."

"You mean the elitist mating ritual you wouldn't stop complaining about till closing yesterday? yeah, I know."

Finally, a man who sees things my way, and she admited,"He's not coming."

"Who?"

In a hushed voiceLorelai clarified, "Christopher, Rory's dad, … he's not coming."

"What?" Luke barked out at little louder than he expected. He got a few glances from his customers, Rory and Lane. Honestly, Luke didn't know "the guy" had to come. But this was a big deal for Rory, a another major event "the guy" would miss. Luke was surprised that "the guy" wouldn't want to be there for the big things in his only child's life. Only child that we know of... Not that he'd ever been there for anything before, save for dropping in … unexpectedly last year! Geez, He's only been to town once, and yet I always hate it when he visits. Obviously, Christopher was not Luke's favorite people, and the diner man would hate to have him in town again. but if it would make Rory happy, ... he could probably deal. As things stood, it was very unlikely, Luke would have to deal with anything, except the heart-broken Gilmores... again. Sensing that Lorelai needed to vent to a friend, he let her speak with out interruption.Luke was happy to ignore his other patrons and let her confide in him. I'm here for you, I'm always here for you.

Lorelai stared into the cup Luke had given her. "I mean, it's bad enough that my mother had tricked her into doing this. Bad enough poor Dean has to wear a tux, and go through dance lessons with Patty; but now … " she leaned in as well to whisper "her dad isn't coming to present her. " Lorelai surprised herself at how easy it was to open up to Luke. He always listens, even if he doesn't want to.

Luke's chest ached for Lorelai. He was angry at the"the guy" for never coming through for two of the most important people in the diner man's life. At the fact that Chris could still cause pain to the Gilmores, and not even be in the same state... or Time Zone for that matter. "Are you sure?" Luke asked.

Lorelai's eyes were less bright than usual, a defeated expression on her face."Well, we called him, multiple times, … and it's been what ? … 4 … 5 days, … I know the new technology is confusing but to not check your messages for five days? … and she can't go down those stairs by herself. It's tradition .. to be presented by your … something… "

"Man, .." Luke fumed, but held his tongue. I've never met this guy, yet I always want to punch him. Why is he so selfish! Bastard!

"What?" Lorelai noticed Luke's expression change, how his eyes seemed to darken, like the Hulk could have burst out of him any second.

"Nothing … " trying to keep it in, "What about your dad, can her grandfather do it?"

"Well, he's not his usual chipper self of late. I mean normally, I guess he would. But, right now , … he's… going through …. Something. I just don't know." She still noticed the Hulk in Luke, just below the surface.

Feeling her eyes examining him, he abruptly walked away. "I'll get your food. Extra Whipped Cream on the sundae?"

He always knows. Lorelai smiled, "yes please."

And Luke retreated into the kitchen to get histemper back in check. It wasn't his place to judge. Though if "the guy" did come back, I would like to hit him, … repeatedly.

Lorelai looked back at her daughter and watched as Lane tried to cheer up her friend. They had to figure something out soon. Lorelai was just so mad that Chris had done it again. Let Rory down, let them both down, … again! HMMMMM why do I give him so much slack? It's not like he's earned it…

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My fave parts:AKA parts that make myself LAUGH!
-the shopping with your mother reality show... seriously do any of you know MY MOTHER! (she's from Brooklyn, nuff said!)
-The Men's Wearhouse joke- long time joke of mine that that is where i'll find my husband... yes do you have anything in a Scott Patterson? ... how about a Luke Danes... i'll take either... are their any specials? LOL
-"Old money never dies, it simply changes hands."
-Luke calling Chris a bastard, in his head sure but I had to work in in some how!
-who doesn't love a well placed HULK reference, once again ... I'm a comic book girl... you won't like me when I'm angry.-LOL I almost used it as a Luke thought... butI couldn't... lol

A/N: more deviation in the next chap... I promise!

A/N: You do see WHERE I'm going with this right? BIG FAT CLUE in title... lol wink!

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"that was all God given talent..." why thank you Luke...
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R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,
"...Remember this is for posterity, ... so be honest."

Please be specific with R/R; name one(or as many as you can think of or want to mention..…) at least specific thing you like please! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)

Hence the Rant option below.

Insert Rant here V
A/N: if not completely satisfied with this chapter, please return unused portion for a full refund …