No place like home


Warnings/notes: Bel -in love with- Miles, slightly AU, ooc.

Disclaimer: The wonderful universe of Miles Vorkosigan was created by Lois MacMaster Bujold.

(!) Supposedly takes place after 'Mirror Dance' and thus contains spoilers for that. This also refers to Betan earrings; if you don't know what those are (used for), you probably won't 'get' this drabble.

written at 27th december 2004, by Misura, for Amidoji, as a small Christmas-present.


Somewhat to Bel's suprise, the choice isn't easy. Not easy at all.

'Has been in a relationship, is not interested in beginning a new one.'

(Too far from the truth.)

'Hasn't been in a relationship for a long time, is in some emotional pain that needs to be healed first.'

(Too close to the truth.)

Perhaps it's simply that perfection has become a normal goal, something to accomplish rather than something to aim for while knowing it's out of reach.

'Is currently in a relationship, is not interested in anyone else.'

(Too close to a lie.)

'Is currently not in a relationship, is not averse to being approached to start one.'

(Too simple. Too positive.)

'Is currently in the last stage of a relationship, isn't sure about what to do next.'

(Too complicated. Too negative. And not quite true either.)

Bel sighs while sorting through the small box of earrings, looking for one that'll convey the feelings Bel isn't even sure about itself. Musing that the system's supposed to work, not to let people down like this, unable to figure out themselves.

Perhaps seeking some professional help isn't such a bad idea; certainly there's no shame in it. No stigma is attached to having sought out the aid of a therapist when one needs it after all.

Every Betan knows no one is perfect, be they man, woman or hermaphrodite.

But every Dendarii knows that their Admiral is, and tries to accomplish the same, to reach for the impossible and beyond.

Staring at Beta Colony, Bel decides that there's only one thing it can do here, and only one earring that it can wear without feeling awkward or out of place.

Assuming a determined stride, Bel goes off in search of a traveling agency, to book a journey to some corner of the galaxy, any corner of the galaxy that's not Beta or Barrayar or Jackson's Whole.

'Isn't Betan, please refrain from approaching,'

(As close to the truth as possible.)