Revamped and reposted This is getting rather pathetic. A few of my friends are beginning to think I'm depressed or something. I'm gonna tell you all right now that I'm not. I go through phases just like any writer. I'll write really happy fics one moment then write something that will make you cry yourself to sleep at night. I decided to go with the angst this time; focusing on a certain someone's emotional pain. I'm putting this here in case some of you don't wish to read this. Some love angst and some don't but please, for those of you that do read it, leave a review when you're done. Thank you all again for your continued support. Ja ne!
Disclaimer: Well, I had the rights in my hand and was getting ready to jump the wall around the lawyers' office when these huge dogs attacked me. I accidentally dropped the rights when one of the mongrels got hold of my pant leg. Wouldn't ya know it though; they picked them up and carried them back inside like a puppy does when it gets the paper. So I still don't own it.
(One Sided?) Love
Kagome watched him with dull and lifeless eyes as he walked away. Those same eyes continued to spill tears down her cheeks but she remained silent. He would hate her even more if he knew she was crying, giving him another reason to leave her behind. She leaned against the huge oak that stood alone in the middle of the clearing and prayed that it would hold her up, lend her its strength until he was gone. She memorized everything about him somehow knowing it would be the last time she'd ever see him. The way his silver hair swayed in the breeze, the way his clothing moved as he walked and the sword that was forever by his side. He was powerful, he was handsome and he wasn't hers. He'd told her without saying a word that he would never be hers. She'd finally gotten enough courage to tell him what was in her heart and he had replied with silence before turning away.
Once he was out of sight Kagome fell to her knees and hugged the strong tree; letting her tears soak into the bark. The oak had been there for a very long time and had seen many things, felt many things. It was saddened that the one this beautiful human girl loved had just turned away. The tree hadn't moved from its spot in many centuries, had no reason to. But seeing this miko alone in a strange world decided that now was the time to do so. Its roots pulled themselves from the ground and gently wrapped around the sobbing young woman, giving the comfort that she was silently begging for but would never voice.
"All will be well." It whispered.
Kagome looked up at the tree and smiled sadly at it. After a few more hours Kagome stood up and the tree let her go.
"Thank you." She whispered.
The tree shook its branches and showered her with a few of its leaves. Kagome placed a hand on the trunk then slowly turned and walked away. She was truly alone now. Her friends had perished in the final battle but they had emerged victorious nonetheless. The Shikon no Tama was destroyed but her way home no longer worked. She returned to the village and Kaede finally convinced her to start seriously training her miko abilities. Kaede was all she had left now in this new and strange world. Seven years went by before Kaede finally succumbed to old age and left Kagome alone again. To ease her own loneliness Kagome took in a young girl that looked much like Rin had at that age and began training her to be a miko. Kagome often returned to the clearing where the tree stood and sat beneath it. Every evening she would look to the sunset and remember the one who had refused to return her love. Even after seven years, she still loved him, still missed him and wished now that she'd never told him. Even though she never said so, she would return to the tree in hopes that he would suddenly appear one day and tell her why. She knew the reason but she had hoped he would look beyond it. The tree would whisper to her sometimes, other times it would just offer comfort.
The tree would become angry with the one that walked away from the beautiful miko when she said her good byes at the end of each visit. It just could not understand how one could feel nothing from her tears. She had shed so many because of him and knew her love for him went deeper than any could even fathom. As the years went by she became older but still returned to wait for him. Her hair slowly turned from midnight black to pure white but still she returned. The tree remained as green as it did in the summer time so it could be there for her. She had become its companion, its friend and it would have done anything to ease her sadness.
It was a bright spring afternoon when she came one day with something wrapped in a swatch of white silk in her arms. The miko was old now and hunched from her small burden. She sat gratefully beneath the tree and lay the package down on the ground beside her. Neither one exchanged words and the tree could sense the sun setting on her long life. She positioned herself so she'd have the best view of the sunset and once more waited. As the sun sank lower and lower, the tears came one last time.
"Is this how you will remember me?" she asked. "Always crying and waiting for something that will never be?"
The tree wrapped its roots around her in a comforting embrace. "No Kagome." It whispered. "I will always remember the girl with love in her eyes and a heart so big that not even the trials of the world could subdue it."
"Do you think he even remembers me?" she asked through her tears.
"He would be a fool not to."
Kagome tried to stop her tears. "I never married or had children. Why did I waste my life waiting for him?"
"Because you love him and he was a fool to never return it."
"Was he, or am I the fool to hope against hope that he would suddenly appear and take me away like a prince with a princess in a fairy tale?"
"You could never be a fool Kagome."
Kagome placed an old withered hand on the package next to her. "If you should ever see him, give him this but tell him nothing of our visits. Don't tell him of the tears I cried, I wouldn't be able to rest knowing that he despised me for such a weakness."
The sun disappeared completely beneath the horizon and Kagome turned to cry on the strong tree that had been there for her. She sobbed a life's worth of unrequited love and wished that she could return to that day so long ago and take back everything she said. It would have been better to love him from a distance than to never see him again. The tree cried with her knowing that she only had moments left of her life. Using much of its power the bark beneath Kagome began to shift and she turned her wrinkled, tear stained face up to see what it was doing. She cried even harder when the likeness of the one she loved appeared in the bark and extended a hand to her. She knew what the tree was doing and took the 'hand' in hers. The likeness embraced her, held her close and she smiled. In the last seconds of her life Kagome pretended that it was really the one she loved holding her. Tears of happiness now fell from her eyes as she returned the embrace as well as her weak arms would allow.
"Thank you." She sobbed quietly. "Thank you!"
Kagome exhaled slowly and her spirit lifted high into the heavens where there were others that would forever return her love.
The tree used more of its power to make her one with it. The impression of Kagome and the one she loved remained on its trunk forever in their embrace so that all would know of her loving heart. It picked up the package with its roots and hid it so no one but the true owner could take it.
A few dozen years later the very same individual returned to the field with his one companion. He looked around as though remembering something then proceeded to the tree. He was still young and handsome and this angered the tree for it still grieved the passing of the beautiful miko who had aged and left her mortal coil. When he came close enough the tree brought out the package and flung it at the silver haired male. It landed on the ground at his feet and he stopped to pick it up. Removing the silk from the package his eyes widened when he saw the hilt of a very familiar sword. Looking at the tree, he saw what looked like a very detailed carving. Coming closer to the tree, he froze at the image. It was a likeness of him holding a very old and familiar looking woman.
"There's something I wanted to tell you."
He looked at the girl and wondered what she had to tell him that could make her smile so brightly.
"I love you!"
He said nothing for the longest time, he couldn't so he did the only thing he could do; he walked away.
He remembered smelling the tears she cried and fought against turning around and running back to her. She hadn't made a sound but he could smell her sadness. It had ripped him apart but he knew he couldn't return her love. He wasn't even sure if he'd be able to. Seeing this likeness of them embracing and the look of complete happiness on her face he wished he had turned around. If he had known he could have made her look like that, knowing he was the way he was, he would have turned around. He would have taken her in his arms and never let go. He would have tried and deep down that's all she would have asked of him. His eyes widened when his nose picked up the scent of her tears. Coming closer to the tree, he realized that it carried the scent of her tears along with its normal forest scent.
'How many tears did you cry? How many of them were because of me?' he asked silently. He placed a hand on her face and lovingly traced his fingers over it. 'I caused you pain. The happiness on your face tells me this. Had I known you were waiting I would have come back.'
He lowered his hand from the carving and stepped back. His expression betrayed nothing of his inner thoughts.
He looked down when he felt a slight tug on his hakama and gazed in the bright golden eyes of his new ward, an abandoned inu youkai girl.
"Who is that in the tree Sesshoumaru-sama?" she asked. "It looks like you."
Sesshoumaru looked back up at the tree, his eyes distant. "That was someone I cared for a long time ago but did not realize how much until now."
"Was she nice?" the girl asked.
Sesshoumaru paused. "She was beautiful." He answered quietly.
Sesshoumaru tucked the sword in his sash then turned away from the tree but the young girl stood there for a moment just staring at the image.
"Come along Gome." Sesshoumaru said. "We have much to do before returning home."
The young youkai turned and ran after her father figure making a secret promise to return to the tree. The tree watched them go and smiled inwardly as it recognized the spirit of his long ago friend within the body of a little girl.
"All will be well Kagome." It whispered. "All will be well."
Please don't throw rotten fruit at me, this it's just something I had to write or I never would. Please review and tell me what ya think. Until then…ja ne!