He was bleeding. He had to be. What else could that be, running down his face? But how did he get cut? It certainly wasn't tears. He never cried. Not even when he was a baby, did a single tear fall from his eyes.
"I'm sorry. Really, I am."
"You're not." he whispered, looking down. There was no way he was crying. Even if Kurt was breaking up with him. It was no reason to cry. He didn't love Kurt. He loved no one. He couldn't love. Not even the life growing inside him.
"It's just . . . Kitty has been my dream since . . . since I met her."
"I know. Go ahead." Of course. Kitty was prettier. Kitty was sweeter. Kitty had emotions. Why couldn't he be more like Kitty?
"You really mean that? You're ok with me and" He looked up. Kurt was staring at something. Had Kitty come in"You're crying."
The world crashed around him. Wind howled in his ears and Kurt's voice was echoing through the darkness.
"I'm not. I don't cry. I don't have emotions, remember" he spat. "That's the way it's supposed to be."
"No! You . . . you're really crying over me." Kurt sounded amazed. His eyes were wide, and his mouth open. How many times had he kissed that mouth? Seen it do amazing things to his skin? But always, the words coming out of it. Kitty. Kitty. Kitty.
"I'm not crying, especially not over you. If I fell down the stairs, I wouldn't cry. If I lost the baby, I wouldn't cry. I don't have emotions" he finally screamed. "Kitty has emotions" he was beyond thinking now. He was screaming, his voice going hoarse. "Kitty is prettier than me! Kitty is sweeter! Kitty deserves you" He was breathing hard, his throat aching. He looked at Kurt. "I don't." he looked down, an hand going to his stomach.
He wasn't fat. He wanted to say it. He wasn't eating too much. He was with child.
Kurt looked at the stretched skin. Kurt seemed amazed.
"That's right." he said. "I'm not fat." his voice broke. "I'm not getting fat." He lifted a hand to his cheek, expecting it to come away red.
It didn't. He stared at the hand in awe. He wasn't bleeding. He wasn't hurting on the outside. It was inside. Deep, deep down. The fire melting the age-old ice was going out.
"You're pregnant." Kurt said in awe.