Disclaimer: Yadda yadda yadda not mine and all that stuff. You know the drill people. Just borrowing them for a while to have a little fun.
A/N: Short and sweet one shot. A really late answer for the Trapped challenge.
"I'm going to kill him."
"You'll do no such thing."
"There's plenty of Weasley males around, I'm sure they won't miss just one." Hermione huffed. "Besides, it's not like he's the first born or something, they won't really miss him really. I don't think Molly would even notice." She grinned evilly up at her Professor.
"Perhaps torture," Hermione recommended, trying to shift her weight, only to stuff an elbow in her Professor's rib. "Sorry," she mumbled.
Severus in turn tried bringing a hand to his nose, desperately trying to itch the spot on his nose that one of Miss Granger's curly hairs insisted on tickling.
"We are in a tiny closet Miss Granger. We are bound to cause each other some form of physical pain no doubt."
"I'll lock him in here," Hermione continued, resting her head against her Professor. "With spiders. Lots and lots of spiders."
"Now that's just cruel." Snape said with a chuckled, knowing full well Mr. Weasley's fear of spiders.
"Well he locked me in here with you! Talk about not being considerate."
"I'd like to think that I fair better than a spider Miss Granger."
"They are smaller Sir. And quite frankly, they wouldn't take up as much room as you do."
"Again, we're in a tiny closet."
"I know!" Hermione screeched, throwing her head back against the door. But it was useless to do anything to it while the locking and silencing charms were still in place. "Are you sure you don't have your wand on you?"
"I was not aware that I had to carry my wand to and from the bathroom while at headquarters," Snape replied. "Should have know better knowing that there would be Weasleys about though."
"They are nice though."
"What are Miss Granger," Snape questioned.
"Your pajamas. They are awfully nice. To bad is so bloody dark in here I can't see them."
"And why may I ask, would you want to do that?"
"No one has ever seen you out of character."
"And for good reason Miss Granger."
"How long do you think it'll be until someone comes to look for us?"
"Considering that tomorrow is Saturday and that I usually don't make an appearance until dinner, and you have the need to constantly be studying…. I'd say whenever Mr. Weasley decides to let us out of here."
"Why would he do this? That's what I'd like to know." Hermione pondered. "He usually doesn't think up stuff like this on his own."
"So you're saying you're the one that usually does?"
"Shame on you Miss Granger. And here I thought that you were a good little girl."
Hermione made a very unladylike snort.
"How about a good hex," Hermione continued on her subject of revenge.
"To obvious. He would suspect you to come out of here throwing punches."
"Good point." Hermione tried to move again.
"Must you continue to move? Stay still."
"I can't! I'm cold! Incase you haven't noticed I don't have the luxury of wearing slippers. This house is freezing in the winter." Hermione stepped up onto Snape's large slippered feet.
"What are you doing?" Severus hissed.
"You're feet are warmer than the wood floor." Severus gave a sigh, instead shifting the two of them so that she leaned against him so as not to fall off balance.
"Rightly put Miss Granger."
"Will you forever call me that?"
"Call you what?"
"But that is your name."
"I don't like you calling me that."
"It's only proper. Besides, you call me Professor, and I have no problem with that."
"That's beside the point."
"Don't argue with me."
"I can so I will. It's not like you can leave or anything!"
"You are an insufferable woman at times!"
"Better a woman than a silly-little-girl." Severus growled, sending the little hairs up on Hermione's back.
"I'm not continuing this conversation."
"I am not a coward."
"Then talk with me."
"About what Miss Granger? What in Merlin's beard would we have to talk about?"
"Is there someone out there that would want to pull a prank on you?" Hermione asked.
"To many to count. Why?"
"Just wondering who had their hands in this with Ron is all," Severus knew out of habit that she was nibbling on her bottom lip.
"It would have to be someone in this building."
"I'm not so sure. Fred and George usually stick together, and Ginny just knows better."
"Wouldn't find this amusing."
"Doesn't have the balls."
"Lupin," Severus said with a snarl, followed by a pitiful groan.
"What about him."
"It's nothing," Severus said, covering his tracks. He was going to kill that conniving werewolf the second he was out of here.
"What would Remus have against you?"
"He wouldn't do anything, unless there was a reason. What did you do? What did you say?" Hermione felt her Professor stiffen beside her. "You said something. How am I not surprised?"
"I did not."
"You got us stuck in here! Damn you Snape!"
"I certainly did not! Your little friend got us stuck in here!"
"Because of something you said!" Hermione fell into silence. "So why did they stick me in here with you?"
"I certainly didn't do anything."
"You are breathing Miss Granger. That should be sufficient."
"What did you say Snape?"
"So you did say something."
"Sadly, I did."
"It had to have involved me. Otherwise why else would I be here?"
"Drop it Miss Granger."
Hermione dug her bare heel into his foot.
"Owe! What the hell was that for?"
"For not telling me."
Hermione shifted, pushing an elbow into his side, and a matching one into his face.
"Having an elbow in my side is not going to make me tell you."
"How bout a knee somewhere else?"
"You wouldn't!" His voice was shocked for her just mentioning to do the worst thing imaginable to a man.
"I was drunk. Alright?"
"Two nights ago."
"Remus and I had some conversation, and some things came up." Severus began praying to any and all of the gods to get him out of this closet before the inevitable happened.
"Answer the question."
"I won't, and that's final."
Hermione in turn, brought her knee up and drove it home. Severus cried out in the dark closet, his eyes tearing up in pain.
"You act as if you were two school boys confessing your secret loves," Hermione chided as Severus doubled over on her, trying to regain his composure.
There was no evil reply from Severus.
"Is that what you were doing?" Hermione asked.
"I still don't understand why you couldn't have told me. I was after all, one of the only ones sixth year that didn't believe the rumor about… your… ahem… your lower regions being able to work. I think it's good that there's someone you fancy." Hermione stated.
"Your faith in me is outstanding," Severus replied, righting himself as best as possible.
"So who is she?"
"Who is what?"
"The woman you fancy?"
"Who do you think Hermione?" He asked.
Hermione's breath caught after hearing him say her name.
"I'm afraid I don't follow you."
"I thought people said that you were smart."
"I just need clarification."
"Alright. But remember, you asked."
At that moment Severus squirmed enough in the closet to bring his hands to Hermione's face. Taking hold, he was able to find her lips in the dark. It was perfect. There was nowhere she would be able to run to, and no one that would be able to see.
He gently found her lips with his. He heard her sudden intake of breath through her nose as his lips touched hers. He felt her stiffen at the sudden contact, but to his surprise she pressed back against him, and raising herself onto her tippy toes.
"Does that answer your question Miss Granger?" Severus asked, breaking the kiss.
"Clearly," she panted. "I may need a reminder though," she said with a laugh, pulling him into another one.
If they wouldn't have been busy snogging each other, they would have heard the clicking of the locking charms on the door.
"Bloody hell!" A surprised Ron exclaimed.
"Good show old chap," Remus piped in.
Hermione broke away from Severus and glared daggers at both Ron and Remus.
"Bugger off you two!" she screamed, grabbing the door handle and closing them back into the closet.
Ron and Remus laughed as the door slammed in their face.
"That worked rather well," Remus stated, stuffing his hands in his pockets, and whistling while he walked back down stairs.
"I'd say we're lucky," Ron added. "I'd hate to see what they would have been doing in another ten minuets."
"It was your idea to lock them in there," Remus added.
"I didn't believe that it would work so quickly!" Ron exclaimed, walking into the kitchen.
"Tea?" Molly sang from over by the stove. She carried the pot over, along with two extra cups. "So, did you find out what happened to Severus and Hermione? Can't see how those two could have missed dinner as they did."
"Aye," Ron grumbled, taking a seat at the table.
"It appears they just had a little trouble with one of the doors upstairs. It appears that it was sticking quite well," Remus said nonchalantly, grabbing a teacup from the table. "Alls fine now," he added with a wink to Ron.
"I'll have to go and make sure that they're alright," Molly began, until Ron interrupted her.
"Whatever for Ron? They must be starved!"
"It's Severus." Remus said, sipping his tea. "I'd say he's in a rather of a mood right now."
"Oh," Molly said glancing at the ceiling, knowing all to well the temper of the Potion's Master. "Right then. See you two in the morning."
A/N: I know, I know, please don't hurt to too much. -)