Ohohoho! Hello dearies! Well I'm finally back after like a year and a few months of time. Sorry school has been crazy and the fact that I have been plain lazy. Really I have. But tis glad to be back. So please help me in this first chapter. Encouragement and comments (good or bad) are welcomed. And or constructive criticism. And blah, blah talking too much ok time for the moment of truth!

R/R please

Supposedly winter is the most wonderful time of the year.

Then why is it so horrible now?

Prologue: What Christmas means to me…

December 4. Tokyo. Status: freezing

Usually people see winter a new start, fun, and opportunity. They see winter as a time for Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukah, and New Years. It is also seen as a time for getting together, with loved ones to share these special days. Also for New Years it's time for a new slate, and to start over.

Yet I do no see any of these things.

When I look at winter all I see is nothing but cold. Cold, cold, COLD. Besides the fact that my apartment heater has already broken down, and it is just getting to the beginning of December, it is possible I might freeze in the middle of the night, and no one would even find me until spring, or until I defrost, seeing as how I will be preserved until then.

I see Christmas as a time to hate on those that do not have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, and or that are married. Anything that falls in the singles category, this might be the worst time of the year.

So in other words people like me.

Even though this special time is usually shared with the family, I usually find myself alone in my –5 degree room, snacking on whatever I find in my refrigerator or cabinets, that is not molded or frost bitten, usually something that is microwaveable, sitting on my less than luxurious couch, wrapped up in all the blankets I own, and watching Christmas specials on how magical Christmas can be. Watching the TV during specials I have learned:

1)It seems the most hottest people are single during these specials, and by the spirit of Christmas another equally hotter person comes along, and they share this moment in time together forever in hotness under the mistletoe. But since they are that good looking they can't be single forever now can they? And yet I wonder why they were single in the first place.

2) No matter how much you screw up a Christmas party, and forget your friends in the holiday season, you are all brought back together.

3) The best eggnog is made from bourbon and ice

4) You can be who you are and still get a date. Yeah right.

5) The clay animation still runs every Christmas and it will keep going, until the end of time.

6) Maybe I made up number 3. But it is very true to me.

7) Love and magic always seem to come together. I don't know why, but they surely do.

8) The main characters usually starts off with the worst Christmas ever, and yet at the end of the 1 and 30 min special, they end up with a date, a cozy home, and they state 'This is the best Christmas I ever had'. Even though when I begin to think that, I still end up in the same cold apartment, no one to cuddle with, and it still ends up being the worst Christmas ever. And I never need to state it.

9) Remember to hang mistletoes everywhere. Usually in the movies they were hung by the coziest spot, but with my luck I might as well hang them everywhere and hope that a guy can even get close to one.

10) Grandma did not get run over by a reindeer...Wait I don't think I finished that one. Did she?

So my life during Christmas is frostbitten, surrounded by Lifetime movies, and horribly and painfully alone.

The most wonderful time of the year has begun to round its course.

Yet it feels as if I am in the dust.

For this Christmas season I was see myself spending time alone to myself. Possibly pouring myself a shot glass of whiskey, while settling down on my comfortable couch, and watching T.V.

Just me, myself, and I this year.

But that is not usually how goes.

I would have to say for the past few years, well practically all my life; people have surrounded my whole life during the holidays. When I was a kid my mother left my father when I was about three, so over the holidays, it was always my dad and I. Those were the best Christmases I ever had. But when I was seven my dad had passed away. So I was moved to a guardian named Moushin.

Moushin was pretty much and old man who loved to drink and loved women that were probably forty years younger than him. How they even got to his house willingly is one thing that may never be clear to me. So when I was seven, the Christmases I experienced were around women the ages of twenty, and I was usually stuck in my room. But sometimes they would call me out and exchange presents, how fifteen drunken women all managed to buy a present for me, is kind of strange but it's the though that counts. So I suppose my childhood was not a total loss.

But when puberty rounded its corner, I was constantly dating other women. It seemed as though when I was around Moushin I picked up certain traits that he had. I mean he was not the best looking man out there, but I learned how to pick up girls, woo them, and possibly have sex with them. It still works.

But somehow with girls, I always wind up by getting myself one before Christmas, so I always had someone to share it with. But I realize every time when I was opening a present with these different girls, and when they would hug me and tell me they loved me, I would respond the same words, kiss them the same way, and look at them in the same way, but in the end I never really meant it. These girls were literally nothing to me, I used them for what little I found in them, which was usually making out and groping, and then moved on to the next girl.

So this Christmas will be somewhat different this year. I don't really plan on finding a specific woman right now, I might even try being single over the holidays. I supposed I could live one Christmas alone with no company whatsoever and it wouldn't be that hard.

Would it?

Well then that about sums up the prologue. So constructive criticism is welcome and other reviews you may think of.

Until later my friends…


R/R please