Queen of Hearts

Disclaimer: I don't own. shifty eyes no really I don't.

Note: A/U Character death. No point. I know it's vague, just go with it.

IMPORTANT Clerical Issue: When the Doctor is used, he is always called "The Doctor". "He" is someone totally different and will be explained at the end of the story, also "He" will always be in italics when talking about "Him". I know it is vague, it is supposed to be that way.

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A group of medics lifted the cold lifeless body of her onto the stretcher. They covered her in a thin gray blanket. The Doctor approached her corpse and pulled the cold cover of death over her beautiful face. The medics lifted the stretcher and stood waiting. The Doctor reached for his Mobile Emitter and led the way.

He followed behind her body in reverent silence. His head was bowed and his hands were clasped.

The Doctor led the solemn procession through the winding corridors of the endless maze that was their home for so many years, the ship, the Voyager. The Voyager was never the ship in the best of luck; she was the Ship of the Damned. Now that she was dead, Voyager would never be a good place for him again; he would always remember this day and this hour. The hour of her remembrance.

The corridors were lined with crewman. They were standing silently by as their great friend was taken to her final burial place; the darkness of space.

She was as cold as where she was going . . . as silent . . . as sad . . . as fearless . . . as empty. She was too beautiful for their surroundings . . . too funny . . . too strong . . . too smart . . . too loved.

She deserved so much more than what she was receiving or had received in past from him . . . from them . . . from life. She wasn't dealt what she deserved. She deserved so much more. She deserved a golden tomb full of riches and tokens of her life, not a cold vacuum of nothingness but the occasional anomaly. She deserved so much more.

He imagined that things were different, a different life and a different circumstance. The Doctor was the leader of a joyful parade for a glorious queen, his queen. She was the Queen. The lowly stretcher carried by medics was a golden chair carried by strong servants of the Queen. The gray corridor surroundings were the colorful walls of a great city. The few crewman were hundreds of thousands of adoring citizens rejoicing over the return of their beloved Queen; his Queen.

He was the man that no one knew. The secret man of the queen that everyone talked about, but no one knew. No one knew his name but everyone knew his face. They knew he was everywhere the Queen was. He followed her and everyone saw the look on her face when their eyes met. There was feeling there.

None of it was true. The Doctor was the beginning of a deathly procession of her. No glorified golden chair was her carriage, only a gray cloth and metal standard issue stretcher. She had no faithful servants to lead her to her final destination; she had medics doing their duty. There were no colorful walls of a prosperous city; there were gray corridors of a small ship lost in a big galaxy. She had no joyous citizen but crewman mourning and accepting the loss of a friend and a leader.

He tired to imagine a joyous world instead of his heartbreaking one. He could not make himself believe for the pain of reality gnawed at the back of his mind and the back of his soul. His perfect dream world blended with the horrible reality world he could not escape. It created a horrible nightmare of confusion and imperfections. He always wanted things to be perfect for her. She deserved it. She did not deserve his twisted perception.

The Doctor was the leader of a deathly parade for the Queen of his heart. She was lying on a golden stretcher of metal and the finest linen. She was led through the colorful labyrinth of the Ship of the Damned. Her subjects quietly watched in solemn respect as they witnessed the return of their Queen to her final resting place.

As they walked through the corridors the presence of the Solemn March of the Dead lingered on through the barren halls of the ship.

The procession entered the armory; a true place of death and destruction. He watched the medics gently lay her beautiful body into a cold black casing. It is ironic that they choose to lay their dead in weapons of mass destruction.

He walked towards his beloved and kissed her for the very last time. His hand touched the side of her face for the last time; he felt her skin for the last time. He stared and her hair, at her forehead, at her beauty, for the last time.

The Captain began her well known speeches in a different tone for a different occasion than normal. "We are gathered together to day to pay the last respects to a very important person in our lives. Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres was a great friend to us all. To many she was the mean, short-tempered, cold, Chief Engineer. To so many more she was a friend, a colleague, a little part of each and every one of us.

"Solely she did so much to help this crew get home. She helped us with many disputes against countless alien species; the Kazon, the Vidiians, the Pralor, the Mokra, the Botha, the Borg, Species 8472, the Nyrians, the Krenim, the Ferengi, the Caatati, that insane hologram, the Bomar, the Vaskans, and countless others. Without her, we would not be here today.

"B'Elanna has made this journey a little better with her attitude and her subtle kindness. She did care about us all. I know I will miss her." Tears formed in the Captain's eyes. "I don't know what I'm going to do without her." The Captain was known as a strong woman, but she was crying. "Does anyone else want to say something?"

Everyone stood in reverent silence for a moment before someone stepped forward. Tuvok arms were folded behind his back. "I've known Lieutenant Torres for some time now. When I first met her I was infiltration Commander Chakotay's vessel. I thought she was a volatile, illogical half-Klingon prone to violence and insubordination.

"Over the years I have observed her progress as a functioning individual. I have learned that she is a very vital part of this crew for many different reasons to many different people. She was a subordinate, colleague, boss, friend, enemy, role-model and much more. I have watched her become friends with this entire crew and no longer has she any enemies. I have seen her forge many deep meaningful relationships with others as well as myself. I am honored to call her my friend. Q'Pla brave soldier." Tuvok's fist went to his heart in the Klingon tradition before he stepped back into the semi-circle around the torpedo.

Everyone stood in reverent silence to ponder the man's words. He thought of the last sentence "Q'Pla brave soldier." She was not a brave soldier, but a fearless warrior for all those in need of her help. She always fought for him.

The Doctor stepped for forward to offer his words of remembrance and hope to all the people gathered. "Several years ago I went through an emotional breakdown because of my actions. I couldn't forgive myself for what I had done and what I had caused. I caused a death. No one here is the cause of our dear friend's passing but we can all remember that the 'New Life' which B'Elanna had received from this passing is much better than anything all of us could have given her.

"A new life is everything. When we experience any kind of hardship we must move on remembering but continuing. We must remember our friend but do our best to continue on without her. She has begun a new life and now we must do the same. B'Elanna would not want us to cry and stop trying to get home. She would want us to make it with as few casualties as possible. If we give up we are letting her down. She was a fighter and would want us to continue fighting that great battle against the universe." The Doctor stepped back.

Harry stepped forward. "When I first met B'Elanna I didn't make a very good impression. At the time I was young and inexperienced. I was in very much need of seasoning. She changed me. B'Elanna helped me learn to be more sure of myself and be more assertive. She taught me so much.

"In the way I think she changed all of us. In a way we are all different because of B'Elanna Torres and love our new selves, I know I do. I am so much better than it was when I first met her. I would not be the man I am today without her. She was one of the best friends I could ever ask for.

"She changed too, for the better I think. Families have that effect upon each other. And we were a family, we are a family. The loss of one is hard on many but we are what our lives have made us. Because B'Elanna was in our lives we are all better people." Harry stepped back. He took a deep breath.

He stepped forward. He wanted to say something about his beloved. "Life is a card game."

Everyone stared at him. "Tom?" Chakotay said.

"Life is a card game. We decide to play the right cards at the right time. No matte how well we play, it all comes down to what cards we are dealt. Some are dealt better hands than others and play poorly. Some are dealt worse hands but play the best until they fun out of their skill and run into fate.

"Life is a card game and we are all cards. There are kings and queens. There are jokers and deuces. There are aces too. I am a joker. Chakotay is the King of Spades. Captain Janeway is the Queen of Spades. Tuvok is the Jack of Spades. Our ship is full of spades. One person wasn't a spade, B'Elanna. B'Elanna was a queen. She was the Queen of hearts. She was the Queen of my heart.

"People often loose cards. There are not always fifty-two. Today we have lost a card. When you lose a card, you can't play many games. Solitaire, rummy, poker, you can't play them. We must find ourselves a new card among us. Some one will take her place, but we will always know that the Queen of Hearts was lost.

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Just for clarification, Tom is/was "he" "his" and "him."