Final Goodbyes

This is my first chapter in an 11-chapter story. I'm posting this one first to gauge reactions, if they're positive I'll post the rest (which may or may not take a while), so if you like it… please comment!

Not my best, but it sets the stage. Without this chapter there wouldn't be a stage, much less a set one. So… there you go. Remember, COMMENT!

It's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all. The words echoed through Raven's painfully throbbing skull. It was a concept she had been hoping was truth for the past three hours. She opened her eyes, awakening from her meditation. The sudden brightness made her squint. It was almost like the shockingly sterile white on drab gray was mocking her and her dirty conscience, her dirty state of mind. She wanted to throw it all away and forget it. She wanted to become Rachel Roth once more, and leave the past three weeks to the fuzzy recesses of her forgotten sub-conscious.

Raven rose slowly from the lumpy chair she had been sitting in. She was in the hospital's waiting room, along with three other Titans. Cyborg, Robin, and Starfire sat in a visibly uncomfortable couch directly across from Raven. All three appeared to be reading the out of date magazines that littered the whole room, Cyborg looked particularly out of place, since he was at least twice the size as the teens on either side of him. The Titans looked calm as could be on the outside, but she knew they were feeling inside just what she was feeling (At least, she hoped they were).

She walked slowly across the waiting room, carrying the same guilt and sadness she had been carrying all night. The three Titans before her did not acknowledge her presence until she cleared her throat, warily. They all looked up simultaneously.

Raven suddenly felt like she was on trial. She suddenly regretted her decision. But, it had to be done. "Guys..."

"What is it you desire, friend Raven" Starfire asked in her innocent, child-like voice that sent chills up and down the back of Raven' neck.

Raven cleared her throat again. "Ummm... I need you to... ummm... do me a favor... please" Her words tumbled awkwardly from her mouth. The world was getting smaller; she felt the room heating up, then slowly start to spin. She had to finish what she was saying.

"Sure, Raven, whachoo need" Cyborg chimed in with his slang influenced speech patterns.

"Ummm…" This has to be said, this has to be said. Everybody was waiting. Raven felt like she was standing before a three-person jury, about to be sentenced to death. "I… could you just not tell… tell Beast Boy… who…"

"But, Friend Raven, why?"

"JUST…" Raven's temper flared, it was a simple request, why couldn't they just keep it and shut up? "Just, do it… okay?" And she walked away without a single thought.

Robin watched Raven walk into Beast Boy's room. He knew where this was going. He also knew that it couldn't happen.

Relationships could ruin the team, directly or otherwise. He rose got up slowly from the chair, and began to walk toward Beat Boy's room, ready to put a stop to this before it started. Then, came the last voice he wanted to hear at that moment, a sly drawl that ever hinted to the fact he knew more than he was letting on to.

"Robin, what are the odds I'd see you here?" Robin turned to see Mr. Abelard, smiling toothily at his new underling. "Why don't you come join me for a chat?"

Robin sighed; his shoulders hung low as he slowly approached the evil old man, who was waiting enthusiastically for Robin.

"I couldn't help but hear about what…" He struggled with mock bafflement. "went down tonight."

Robin grimaced. He knew where this was going, too.

"I'm sure you understand why your team can't fail, especially so early in its career." His voice was extremely monotonous, but at the same time it left Robin on edge, each word made him angrier, ready to strike at any moment.

"It wasn't my fault… Beat Boy—"

"No." Abelard's tone rose the ever so slightly, but he may as well have slapped Robin across the face. "You're the leader of this team. Their mistake becomes your­ mistake. Catch my 'drift'?"

"Yes…" Robin trailed off, he couldn't look at this man. He was degrading to his very core. By now, Robin almost felt like it really was his fault. No, it's Beast Boy's fault, no one else's.


Robin grumbled, he hated the father figure Abelard constantly tried to be. "Yes… sir."

Raven sat, cross-legged, in false meditation. To all passerby she was master of her emotions, as calm as the winter lake. But on the inside, she was the exact opposite, a furious hurricane of angst. The multicolored mirrors of herself ran rampant through her conscious, provoking all but the best in her.

Raven's entire world was shrunken down into a floating rock above absolute darkness.

"This is all your fault. You do realize that don't you?" The red Raven's voice held nothing but hatred.

"That's not true—" Raven innocently attempted to defend herself, when the green Raven cut in.

"She's right, if it weren't for Beast Boy…"

"What have you got against Beast Boy? It was my fault. Nobody else's." The darker Raven butted in.

Another Raven appeared from the ether. "Quite on the contrary, it was a culmination of the Titan's faults. Not one, or the other."

"Guys… just…" the orange Raven yawned, her tongue hanging out lazily. "Just…umm…where was I…am I?"

The real Raven withdrew from this nonsense. The other Raven's continued arguing, unaware of the fact each one knew what the other was about to say, since they were all a part of the same being. Raven could never understand how she managed to function with all these…

"Morons? Raven, do you really think I'm a moron?" the bickering rainbow of emotions instantly flocked to Raven. She needed to get out, but she was afraid of what was waiting for her. She closed her eyes and blocked out all the other Raven's as best as she could.

Raven opened her eyes to see messy hospital room. She had to get away from herself. A quick glance to her left and revealed the root of all her sorrows: a near-dead Beast Boy, bleeding profusely.

The nurse had said it was a waiting game. As of now he was neither dead nor alive, just an amorphous life form awaiting judgment. Raven could relate.

She sighed. She knew she wouldn't get any rest tonight until she did what she was utterly afraid of. She closed her eyes and replayed the entire night in her mind, one moment at time.