Yeah. I'm back. Sorta. We're gonna have a different kind of voting this week.


Vimes opened his eyes. And even before he did so, the moment that he awoke from his slumber, he could feel it.

…Something wasn't right.

But he couldn't quite put his finger exactly on what it was.

Slowly and cautiously, with the manner of one who knows that anything could be about to happen, he sat up. Automatically, his brain started to analyse the situation in order to find the incongruence.

Location- bed, bedroom, older sibling house

Status- alive (that was good to know), mildly hungry, in need of coffee

Time- …day forty, right?

He pinched the bridge of his nose. It was day forty. Of course it was day forty. How could it not be.

But if it was then why did it feel so very much like it wasn't?

Trying to shake of the feeling, he got dressed. He did so on the bed and under the covers, naturally, like a shy girl on a slumber party at her friend's house. The first time he had done so he had felt foolish for having to dress in such a peculiar manner every morning, but he had gradually become used to it far more than he had become used to the idea of perhaps pulling his pants up in front of millions of viewers. The only other option would be to wear the same underwear for several weeks, and if he did that Sybil would probably never let him in the same bed as her again.

That feeling was still there…

Irritated at himself for not being able to work out what it was and angry for doing what he was about to, Vimes went in search of his Guru.

He found him immediately, sat at the kitchen table as he always did, and thankfully, alone. Vimes sat down next to him without a word. Neither of them looked at each other.

"I must say I am honoured, your Grace," Vetinari said eventually. "It is a rare occasion that you come and talk to me of your own accord, so I must assume that the only reason you are doing so is because you want something. Either that or your heart cannot bear to be away from my side for such a long stretch of time."

After a moment of being glared at Vetinari said: "A joke, commander. A joke. I know that you think I am incapable of humour, but in light of your present reaction I feel that you should consider yourself equally so."

"We're not talking about things like that," Vimes muttered, darkly. "We both know that all that crap isn't true."

"Perhaps. But your constant paranoia, I'm afraid, does not make it easy to believe that you are innocent of the accusations. What is it that you want, Vimes?" he said abruptly, just as Vimes had been about to say something whilst wearing his angry face. "I am a very busy man, after all."

Vimes shut his mouth, and paused. "I've been having strange feelings," he quietly said after a while.

"Really? How pleasant. After all that has happened it must be nice to finally come to terms with one's true emotions-"

"Not those kind of feelings! Not those kind of feelings!" Vimes shouted hurriedly. "Please! Don't talk about anything like that any more! It's stupid! It's gone on long enough! It's over! No more rumours!"

Vetinari then smiled, which scared him even more.

Vimes' scratched the back of his head. Bah. Not acting like an innocent man, he said? Maybe Vetinari was right about that, but he couldn't help it. Anyway, surely the natural reaction for anyone being accused of fancying Vetinari was screaming every now and then. "No, I mean different feelings. Feelings that thing's… aren't quite right." At this point Vetinari seemed more interested. "Something seems funny… Something to do with time, I think..."

An eyebrow raised. "Are you suggesting that Mr Dibbler has changed time? Perhaps sent us into a realm in the past? As dedicated as he is with his work, I do not think that even Mr Dibbler would go that far."

"No, I'm not suggesting that," Vimes conceded, Although I can't doubt that he will have started to think about it now that the idea's been planted, "I'm suggesting… I don't know what I'm suggesting. It's just that… It feels like… like I went to sleep yesterday, and then when I woke up today, it felt like I hadn't just been asleep for a night. Like, in the passing of a few hours…"

"A whole year has gone past?" helped Vetinari.

"Yes! Yes! Exactly like that!" said Vimes. "Have you felt it too?"

"No. Of course not. Such things are impossible," Vetinari replied, promptly.

Vimes' looked as though the Patrician's sharp statement had suddenly deflated his confidence. For a moment there he had been so sure. Really? But it really did feel as though something was odd…

But if he said so…

"Oh. Oh… right then."

"It is likely to be a mere side affect from having stayed in the House for such a length of time, and you should ignore any other feelings that you have of the like. Perhaps you should go to the diary room and request to see a psychologist."

"Yeah," said Vimes, rubbing his hand back through his hair. "Maybe I will." Was it just cabin fever? Was that really all that it was? The terrier wasn't about to stop digging that quickly. "…Are you sure that it isn't anything real?"

"I am most certain, Your Grace. Please pay no heed to it."


"Do not worry about it, Vimes."

Defeated, Vimes left the room, leaving Vetinari sat alone behind him as he had been moments before. Maybe he should have gone to Angua first. She might not have been able to give him any answers, but she sure as hell might have at least made him feel a little better.

The Patrician stared after him as he exited.

Once he was gone, Vetinari then took a drink of the cup of tea that was by his side. His lips thinned in contempt. It really was no substitute; they were going to have to get some coffee soon.

But the taste in his mouth was not as bad as the feeling he had inside of him at that moment.

It did not feel pleasant, having to say such things to Vimes. Over their time together he had found pleasure in leading the man gently along, never telling him the whole truth, but always at least leaving him a little clue or idea of what was happening in the world around him, if only to keep him going. Men like Vimes needed a little help sometimes when it came to trying to look at the bigger picture of that was happening, but not to be told completely, for it was the trying to work it out which kept them alive. But in this case Vetinari had just had to quell Vimes' intuitive flame completely by telling a downright lie to him, and it did not make him feel at all pleasant.

As impressed as he was that Vimes' had even been able to notice the passing of time in a world that wasn't his own, he couldn't tell him the truth this time.

"It's for his own good," he told himself, taking another sip of the vile tea. "In this case, the bigger picture would probably scare him."


Okay, I should probably explain, and try not to sound too melodramatic while I'm at it.

I haven't written anything in a long, long time. The last thing I wrote was the last chapter of this and that was… pfft. Ages ago. And I haven't read anything discworld for at least a year. I've moved away from writing- I do webcomics now.

I do want to continue, and even finish what I have started with Discworld Big Brother, but… it's a real shame to admit it to myself, but after such a long time… I'm not sure if I'm very good anymore. Them's the brakes.

So here's the choice. I can leave the story where it is- here and now, sorted, a happy memory. Or, alternatively, I can carry on. If I do it may not be at the quality it was when I left off, so you'd have to bear with me, but I can try if you like.

That's the vote, as always I'd like to hear your opinions.

Be seeing yas.