Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. Hell, it' s been so long since I worked on this thing... I probably don't even own this fan fic anymore.
((A/N... OMG! Look who's back! -Dodges angry reviewer's tomatoes!- I know! I know! I'm sorry, honest! I just... lost touch with the story. Everything I wrote was cheesy and I ended up... quitting. But now I'm back! -rubs hands together- Let's see if I can still do this thing!))
"I have an idea."
Normally when a sentence started like that, people would groan. However, this was Raven. And Raven was currently the Queen of Hell. She didn't want to be, but the all-mighty council had denied her resignation. 'Punishment', they called it. So any idea that involved Raven not being the Queen of Hell any longer was welcome. Well, as long as it was Raven who thought it up. Beast Boy's ideas weren't as welcome.
It was during one of her weekly five minute-or-less meetings with the Titans that Raven brought up this idea.
"It'll take a while, so you'll have to be patient. It's not pleasant, either, but please just bear with me on this."
Okay, so this wasn't sounding quite as promising as everyone had hoped.
"Hell needs to be ruled. It needs an heir."
Everyone nodded. This was obvious. This is what started everything, after all.
"If a ruler cannot give an heir, they are overthrown."
Realization was slowly dawning, but confusion was still present.
"If I cannot bear a child, they will replace me. I'll be free to come home. So, I'm taking an herbal 'birth control', if you will."
"Herbal Birth Control?"
"Some herbs are safe for an adult, but cannot be taken if you're pregnant or may become pregnant. If I use them in my tea, I can't become pregnant."
"But…" Beast Boy had his protest. A very obvious protest. He didn't bother to finish his pouting sentence.
"I know Beast Boy. I did say that it wasn't going to be pleasant."
"You shouldn't have to do these… ceremonies… without me. Can't I come over?"
"No!" Her exclamation was final. Beast Boy was obviously not pleased. Raven sighed. "Just bear with me, okay? I'll be back as soon as possible."
Her face changed suddenly. Her nose scrunched. Everyone waited for her to say something.
"What? What happened?"
Raven shook her head, her eyes focusing on blank space with concentration. She looked confused.
"Something changed. I'll be right back."
With that, Raven vanished. Beast Boy sighed and sunk into the cushions of the couch.
"I don't like this." He muttered. "Not only is it going to take forever for her to come home, but she's also going to be forced to – I don't even want to think about it."
Cyborg rested a hand on his shoulder. "It'll be okay. She'll be back as soon as she can and then everything will go back to normal. Well, almost normal."
"What do you mean 'almost normal'?" Beast Boy asked, a little frustrated.
"Well back in the good old 'normal' days Raven didn't have a mming mm mmmr mmingmmr" The last part of that sentence was muffled by Beast Boy's hands.
"Hush! What if she comes back while you're talking about that?"
"Hey, you said that you two talked about it already. That means it isn't a secret."
"It IS a secret! She doesn't know that I have it!"
There was a soft sound as Raven reappeared in the living room.
"Nothing!" Beast Boy chimed quickly. Raven didn't push it. She seemed to distracted, worried, to push it.
"There's a problem guys."
"Problem?" Beast Boy asked, not knowing if he really wanted to know.
"It appears that I have been assassinated."
The whole room groaned.
"I'll go get the spell." Beast Boy muttered, standing up.
"And how are you going to cast the spell when my body is in Hell?"
When he turned to Raven her arms were crossed, her toes tapping impatiently as if they even felt the ground underneath them.
"Good question." He scratched his head. "What happens now?"
"Nothing, I suppose. I guess I just hang around the tower in astral form until Death finally hunts me down and takes me back to limbo."
"That's it? We're not even going to try to bring you back?" Beast Boy's voice got louder with every sentence. This was outrageous! He goes through all the trouble to bring her back to life only to have her assassinated in Hell?
"Got any other suggestions? You can't get to Hell to retrieve my body. I can't retrieve my body. There's nothing that can be done."
It was true. He knew it was true. Since when did dying become such a casual conversation anyway? Okay, so technically there was Slade coming back from the dead and Terra coming back from the dead… And Raven already came back from the dead… but did that really make this whole death thing a discussion to be had over dinner?
"There has to be something in one of your books…"
"Resurrection spells are dangerous. I won't let you cast another one."
She crossed her arms over her chest in an authoritative manner. Beast Boy just stuck his tongue out at her. Starfire giggled, which got a weird look from Robin. What was so funny? That Beast Boy was sticking his tongue out at his now dead (for a second time) girlfriend? Odd maybe. But, funny?
"You can't stop me, you're a ghost." He said, crossing his arms over his on chest.
"Want to test that theory?" She challenged.
"Why not?" There was a pause as they stared at each other, each with their arms crossed over their chests, each with a stubborn look on their face. Then Beast Boy's stubbornly serious face cracked, his lips turning up in a smile. Raven didn't budge, even though she was worried as to why he would be smiling.
"Race you to your room!" He screamed suddenly before turning into a green cheetah. In a matter of seconds, before anyone could register what happened, the cheetah was long gone from the room. Raven stood their for a moment, blinking, before she even realized what he had said.
"My room? Woah, wait up! You can't even read those books!" She called after him. With a 'poof' she was gone from the living room.
Starfire giggled again.
Robin blinked, stunned.
Cyborg laughed. This made Starfire laugh. Which made Robin look even more confused.
"What is everyone laughing about?"
He wondered if he had missed something. Didn't either of them realize that this meant Raven was dead? Again?
"They are so adorable together!" Starfire proclaimed happily.
Cyborg was laughing to the point of tears streaming out of his human eye.
"They act like their already married! He hasn't even given her the ring yet!" Cyborg blurted out the facts without even thinking.
"Wait… he's going to propose?" Robin asked, stunned.
Starfire cheered happily. She had watched many of those romantic movies lately and actually understood what this 'proposal' meant.
"Oh they are to be 'tying the knot'!" She exclaimed.
Her scream was so loud that both Robin and Cyborg jumped to cover her mouth.
"Shh! It's a surprise!"
"You're not going to find anything."
"Then why are you getting all defensive? There's something here, isn't there?"
"Not in a language you can read."
"I have a feeling that you underestimate my intelligence."
"No… I'm just pretty sure that 'Azarathian' isn't taught in the local high schools."
He flipped through the books on the shelves as Raven stood behind him, tapping her toes impatiently. It was funny, actually. She could tap her toes all she wanted and they still didn't make a noise.
"I've brought back the dead before, I can do it again!"
"Don't get so cocky."
"I'm not being cocky. I'm being confident. There's a difference."
"Not a big one."
"Still a difference." He muttered, shuffling through even more books. As Raven had said, he didn't understand a single one of them. "Do you really know this many different languages?"
Raven sighed, rolling her eyes. "Yes, I can read all of them. I know 5 different languages, 2 of which don't even exist on Earth."
"Then read them to me. Show me the spell. I won't mess it up, honest!"
"There is no spell. Not one like that. And even if there were, it's too dangerous."
"I don't care about that."
"But I do!"
There was an awkward silence while they questioned what to say to each other. It was Raven who spoke first.
"There's nothing you can do. Not this time. I'll stay here as long as I can. I'd rather you not spend that time obsessing over books and spells."
Beast Boy sighed. She was right. He just wished that she wasn't.
((I've cut out a lot of the original storyline because I decided that it sucked. Which means that there should only be a few more chapters until this fan fic is complete. Muwahaha!))