Disclaimer: LOTR belongs to JRR Tokien. I'm just borrowing it for a while.
You need to have read up to Chapter 19 of The Roots of the Ivy or Chapter 39 of The Roots of the Ivy: Extended Edition.
This is what happens when I write too much schmoopiness. X-TREME ANGST! Some may even call it a Torture!Fic. Buckle in for the angst-ride and prepare to be squicked. I give you...Pippin/Diamond.
Rated R: for very unhappy, angsty sex
The Beginning of the End
As soon as they were out of sight of the guests, Diamond yanked her hand from Pippin's. The smile she'd been wearing at the party, a weak smile that made her look like any other nervous bride, was replaced by a scowl. She pushed ahead of him, leading the way towards the family wing and to their room.
Pippin sighed and followed her, his stomach in knots. Not so much about it being his wedding night and he'd never done this before. No, it was more that as much as everyone was telling him that Diamond was just nervous about the arranged marriage, he really got the feeling that she just didn't like him.
So he wasn't really sure how to proceed once they got to their room. And that was his first indication that something wasn't right between them. Diamond had insisted she did not want a honeymoon. Pippin had been hoping that by getting her away alone, he'd be able to find out what was wrong. Maybe try to work things out with her, seeing as how they'd be spending the rest of their lives together. That probably wasn't going to happen, though, when she could hide amongst her visiting cousins.
They reached his...their room, and Diamond walked right over to the bed and started undressing. Pippin just gaped at her. She certainly didn't seem nervous about this.
"Close the door!" she snapped. "Do you think I want everyone to see this?"
Pippin closed the door and the knots in his stomach tightened. He'd never even kissed her before, except for the quick peck at the end of their marriage ceremony today. And now he was going to have to... He swallowed. His father had given him a talk about this, but Pippin had been so embarassed he hadn't said anything, hadn't asked any questions. Luckily, Merry had filled him in on all the questions Pippin still had. He was far more comfortable talking to Merry about these things than to his father.
He turned back to look at his wife. Diamond was already in bed, still in her chemise, the blankets drawn up to her neck. She lay stiffly on the far side of the bed, staring at the ceiling with a sour look on her face.
Pippin shuffled over to the bed, pulling at the ties to his Gondorian coat as he went. Well, Merry's suggestions for romantically undressing her obviously weren't going to be needed. From the cold look she was giving him now, he had a feeling her chemise would be staying on tonight.
He hung his coat on a hook and started on his mail shirt. This wasn't anything like he'd imagined his wedding night would be, without any romance or love. Not that he'd ever really imagined a wedding night, because he'd never managed to find a girl who interested him enough. Sure, there were lots of pretty girls in the Shire who had been clamboring to be the next Thain's wife, but there wasn't a one of them that Pippin could have freely given his heart to, not one who he knew with absolute certainty that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
He dropped his mail on the floor and started on his shirt. He'd waited too long to find a girl, for his father at least, and now he was married to a girl who had never once shown him any affection. He supposed she was as miserable as he was with the arrangement, but he had been hoping they'd at least find common ground in that. That they could at least be friends. But he got the feeling that Diamond had no interest in even that. He hoped, for both their sakes, that she'd change her mind. He couldn't imagine spending his life with a lass who didn't like him.
He tossed his shirt on top of his mail and looked back at the bed. She was staring at the ceiling again, her cheeks tinged red. Pippin sighed. Maybe it was mostly nerves for her. Maybe it wasn't as bad as he was imagining.
He quickly removed his trousers and slipped under the covers. If she was nervous, having him wandering around naked probably wouldn't help any. He hesitated a moment, running through the advice Merry and given him, before sliding over towards her. She jumped a little when he touched her stomach, but she kept staring at the ceiling.
He studied her face for a moment. She had a slightly round face, framed by light brown curls, and pale blue eyes. She would be pretty if she didn't scowl so much. He gave a nervous chuckle. "I'm a bit nervous. Never done this before." He got no reaction from her. He cleared his throat. Merry had said compliments always made a lass mushy. "You looked very beautiful today," he said.
She turned her head slightly to look at him. "Just do what you have to do," she said coldly. She spread her legs, her knees slightly raised.
He felt a blush heat his face and his erection twitched a bit. Which was good, about the erection, because he had yet to get completely hard. They hadn't really done anything to make him that way. Well, might as well start there. He caught her gaze, tried giving her as close to a loving smile as he could get, and leaned in to kiss her.
He was stopped by her hands gripping his shoulders, her fingers digging in hard. "No!" she said angrily. "No kissing! Just do it!"
He pulled away from her and sat up. "Well, I need to do something to get in the mood for this!" he snapped back, then cringed at his own words. Not exactly a good way to win her over.
But she just huffed and rolled her eyes. "Then use your hand," she said impatiently. "I'm sure you've at least done that before."
He felt heat on his face again. But he pushed away the embarassment and made himself move over to kneel between her knees. His movement pulled the blanket from her, and she crossed her arms across her chest. He fought the urge to laugh-like he'd try touching her breasts after everything she's said to him!
He grasped his half-hard erection and moved his hand in quick strokes, looking away so he wouldn't have to see her watching him. Once he was hard, he lowered himself over her, supporting himself with his hands, careful not to lay on her. He was pretty sure she'd complain about that. At least the difference in their height meant that he wouldn't have to look at her scowling face for this.
He reached down with one hand to guide himself into her. When he found what he thought was the right spot, he gave a thrust.
"Wait!" she hissed, squirming her hips away from him.
"I'm sorry," he said, looking down at her face. He gave her an apologetic smile. "I know it might hurt your first time and-"
"It's not my first time," she sneered. She spit on her fingers and reached down to touch herself. "I'm just not in the mood for this." She pulled her hand back and crossed her arm over her chest again. "Just get it over with," she said.
Pippin sighed and reached down to guide himself in again. He gave himself another few strokes since he had already started to soften. How could it be that he'd spent much of his tween years getting hard at the mere sight of a lass, yet he couldn't keep his erection on his wedding night?
He pushed into her again and this time it went easier and she didn't flinch, she just stiffened and turned her head away from him. Then it hit him what she had said to him. It's not my first time. For some reason, that neither surprised nor bothered him. In fact, he wished he'd done this before with another lass, so he could have had one good experience before this.
He kept thrusting, but nothing seemed to be happening, in fact he thought he was losing it again. So he closed his eyes and tried to forget about Diamond and her scowl and her sharp words, and he tried to think of some other lass, maybe one of the ones who'd been fawning over him at the parties, but to his horror the first lass to pop into his head was Rosie Gamgee. All right, so maybe he did have a bit of an infatuation with her. But honestly, what healthy lad didn't get all warm and tingly looking at Rosie? Because she was certainly the prettiest lass in the Shire and she had the loveliest eyes and a beautiful smile and-
He came them, biting his lip just in time so that he wouldn't call out any names, and when it was over he rolled over to collapse next to Diamond, not touching her. He covered his face with his hands. Oh, dear Eru, if Sam ever knew what he'd done... He was grateful they'd gone to stay with some Cotton relatives, because he didn't think he'd be able to face Rosie or Sam tomorrow.
When his heart was beating back to normal he looked over at Diamond, but she had already turned on her side, her back to him, and pulled the blanket up to her neck again. He sighed and covered his face again. He really hoped this wasn't how it was always going to be, because he didn't think he'd be able to keep this up. Especially if he was going to have to think about his second-best-friend's wife to get the job done.
He sighed and rolled over to sit on the edge of the bed. He couldn't sleep, not after that. And he just didn't want to be here with her right now. He'd do his best to at least try to be friends with her, but not tonight.
He pulled on his trousers and picked up his shirt. It was late enough that the party would be long over. Most newlyweds snuck out of their wedding party as early as possible, but Diamond had put this off until they were among the last guests left in the garden.
He finished buttoning his shirt and stepped out in the hall. He sighed again as he shut the door and started down the hallway, melancholy coming over him. He would have liked to have had a honeymoon, hiding away for a week with a girl he adored. He remembered how happy Merry and Estella had looked as they left their wedding party, Estella blushing and laughing as she grasped Merry's arm and Merry looking back at her with such adoration. Pippin stopped when he passed by their guest room, a knot forming in his stomach again, but it was a different kind of knot now. He was jealous. He was jealous of Merry, because he had a beautiful, loving wife who he loved back. Pippin frowned. Merry actually had two lasses he adored, because although he loved Estella very much, Pippin was sure Merry still had some feelings for Eowyn. And here he was, stuck with Diamond. He couldn't even get it right once.
Thoughts of Eowyn made him look over at the guest room door next to Merry's. Poor Ivy. He'd really hurt her today. Estella had explained it all to him. Ivy had an infatuation with him, was in love with him in a girlish way. He hadn't really known what to think about that, but Estella had assured him it was all quite innocent. It was something all little girls seemed to go through, being "in love" with an older boy.
Pippin frowned. He wasn't exactly an "older boy", which was why he felt a bit uncomfortable about the whole thing. His seven-year-old cousin had asked him to marry her! And for one brief moment, he had thought if only you were twenty years older. He shuddered. That was a thought best shoved away, although he certainly would have loved to find a lass like Ivy. But that wasn't going to happen now, was it?
He sighed and rubbed his temple. Ivy was just one more thing to go wrong today. He had worried about her after their talk this morning, and he'd noticed she hadn't been sitting with her parents or the Gamgees at the party. He'd asked Estella about her and Estella had sighed and shook her head and told him that Ivy was still very upset about the whole thing. He'd offered to go talk to her again, but Estella told him it was best just to let her be. She'd just have to get used to the idea that Pippin was a grown up now.
He looked sadly at her door. He hoped that after a few days to cool off and get used to his marriage, she'd come around and want to be friends again.
He continued his walk, towards the main part of the hall, and saw that his father's study door was open. Pippin went inside and glanced at the bookshelf. Maybe he could read for a while. Then a bit of amber caught his eye. Might as well have a drink...or two. At least it would help him sleep. And it certainly wouldn't hurt to numb himself up a bit before going back to Diamond.
He seated himself at his father's desk and poured the whiskey.
A big GLOMP! and thanks to Juno, for help in fixing it up and for convincing me to post it. :)