Disclaimer: This story is written for fun-purpose only. I don't own Digimon or the characters I use in this story; and no money is made with this fanfic.
Epilogue: A Letter
Well, I'm writing this letter to you because…because I thought that you might be able to read it, somehow. There are so many things I want to tell you...But you're not here, and I just had to get my thoughts out, so I sat down at my desk and before I even knew it, I was writing away. .
It's been six months since you died and I still miss you terribly. You wouldn't believe how much!
The apartment seems empty and, well, lonely without your presence. We left your room as it is, but Mum and Dad never go there. I think it hurts them. They're talking about emptying it – throwing out your things or at least putting them into boxes so that we don't see them anymore.
I think we all did that. Moved on. It's difficult. It's so hard, especially when I'm reminded by so many things that you're not there anymore.
During the first two months, I never watched TV. I couldn't bear the thought that there was nobody there to fight with! The others convinced me that it was quite foolish, and now it's okay, but it still hurts sometimes. You know, I automatically try to hide the remote control, it's a reflex…a reflex that has become useless by now.
There are so many things you missed, so many things I wanted to tell you. Do you know that the day you died, I received the exam results? Remember how much I studied? I wanted you to be proud of me, so I studied day and night…
I was really afraid of the results, because, well, I thought I was too stupid. But I was among the top ten! Can you imagine that? Me, Daisuke Motomiya, received an award for outstanding academic results! The whole school was in uproar. I was simply in a daze.
I was accepted at a really good school, would you believe it? Ken and I are in the same class, as well as Takeru and Hikari. It's wonderful that we're all together. Miyako is in the same school, just a year above us. I'm glad that Ken is there with me – he really understands! After all, his brother died when he was younger. He went through the same experiences, through the same pain.
Maybe his brother is up there with you? If you ever meet a genius named Osamu, tell him 'hi' from me and explain that you are the sister of his brother's best friend (huh, sounds complicated).
Of course, I'm in the soccer school team, one of the youngest members (ha! Be proud of your amazing brother!). Ken and I, we both applied and it's lots of fun. You should have seen us on our last game – we basically pounded the opposing team into the ground! Wicked, really. I still love playing, it gives me a feeling of freedom, a place where I can be just myself…you understand, do you?
You always did. Understand me, I mean.
So I guess life has become normal again.
Well, more or less normal. How normal can life be when you have a blue digimon partner that insists on stuffing himself with sweets? He says he needs it, being a growing digimon and all, but I think he's only being a pig. And afterwards, I have to deal with a hyperactive partner bouncing all over the living room.
I never thanked you for the letter, did I?
It's just…it really helped me. I can't even begin to understand how hard it must have been for you, writing the letter and knowing that you'd be dead when I read it.
Did you cry while writing it?
I don't like to think so, but then again, I know that you cried a lot when I wasn't there.
Motomiyas don't cry. At least not where anybody can see them.
Let me tell you, I certainly didn't respect that rule. In the first months after your death, I cried so many times that my eyes were hurting constantly. I reckon I sobbed onto everyone's shoulder – Ken's, Hikari's, Takeru's, even Mom's and Dad's. And Veemon, of course, he took the brunt of my tears, but he was always crying with me, so I didn't feel so bad.
Now that I can remember you without tears springing to my eyes, I can't help but think you knew all along. I guess you must have sensed it that you were dying; and that was why you wrote the letter.
I don't really blame you. You fought; you gave your best, but in the end, it just shouldn't be.
It makes me angry and I still think it's unfair, but I don't…well, I don't freak out anymore. You're gone, and nobody is to blame.
I can even understand what you wrote about being tired. Sometimes, you can grow tired of fighting constantly, just like I grow tired of being strong all the time.
You were fighting till the end and that's all that matters.
Writing that letter must have cost a lot of courage. I don't think I would have been that brave. Yet you sat down and wrote those lines, trying to encourage me, trying to help me even though you must have been terrified. I admire that. It's kind of humbling, really, but it also gives me the determination not to disappoint you.
Don't worry, I won't.
It makes me feel happy and guilty at the same time. Happy that I meant so much to you, guilty that you, well, protected me till the end.
Takeru said that's the curse of being an older sibling. That they always worry and look out for their younger brothers and sisters, because… because it's what they do.
He told me about Yamato and his over-protectiveness, but I never thought that we were that way. I mean, we fought all the time, we had our own lives, and we weren't particularly close. But in the end, we had the same bond between us, maybe a bit rougher and certainly a lot different, but it was there. I guess I felt a bit guilty about it, but then I talked to Yamato (yes, no need to squeal, he's just a normal boy!), he assured me that it was fine.
'It's the thing with us older siblings', he had said, 'Little brothers might be annoying and sometimes we hate them. Most of the times, we try to ignore them, but when things get really rough, there's this need to protect them, even though they might not want or need our protection. I guess it's just a part of us…and it seems as if Jun took that part very seriously.' And then he ruffled my hair and smiled. 'Sounds like you can be proud of your sister, Davis.'
My only reply was a grin. Why?
Because I am already proud of you, Jun, and I always have been. You're my sister, and even though you have your faults, you're damn strong, and I admire you for that.
Anyway…I wanted to let you know that life has found its way back to me. I still miss you – and I will continue missing you for as long as I live – but I've found my own way. I'm laughing, I'm crying, I'm having fun – I'm living, and that's what you wanted, wasn't it?
So if you're reading this, somewhere, then be assured that I'm alright. Your brother is making his own way, and he's using that damn stubborn strength that the Motomiyas seem to have as a trademark.
I have to thank you for that; for giving me the courage to go on, for writing that letter that kept me going, for being there and guiding me…for being my sister.
I love you.
Thank you all for your unwavering support through this story and sticking with me. I really appreciate it. I hope I didn't disappoint you with this ending – I didn't add any romance because I can't write it, and I wanted to have this story a hopeful ending…because life does always go on, even though it doesn't seem that way. We might weep, we might cry, and we might want to give up, but the world keeps turning…