"Of all the irresponsible, thick headed moves you two have made..."
Harry winced as Mrs. Weasley went on another tirade in front of Fred and George. The twins seemed to take things rather well and seemed to reply in their own fashion. The Weasley Matriarch only got madder and continued her tirade.
Ron leaned over to Harry where he held an Extendable Ear in his hands. "Boy, I'd hate to be the twins right now."
"She didn't know they escaped from Hogwarts five months ago?" asked Harry incredulously. Ron shook his head.
Ginny smirked from Harry's other side as she fiddled around with a rubber chicken fake wand. "The twins set up shop right after they left. Mum never knew they were gone."
As Molly Weasley went into another tirade about how important it was to finish their schooling, Harry sighed and said, "I think the back room is free."
Slipping past the three, Ron inhaled sharply. "Wow, that smells good."
Ginny nodded as she poked the Chocolate Chip Biscuits that stood cooling on a plate in the middle of the table. "Get some cups," she said, pointing towards the Pumpkin Juice that sat on the table.
Ron went to fetch the cups as Ginny prowled around in the twins cupboards for some milk. Harry sat down and wished that the sound of their argument was somewhat muted. Reaching for a biscuit, he munched on one of them. Finding them to his liking, he finished one and ate another.
Suddenly the door opened as Fred and George Weasley marched in with Molly on their tail. "... and another thing..."
Fred yelped and dove for Harry's hand. With a quick swat, he slapped the biscuit out of his fingers, earning a startled yelp of pain from the Potter boy. "Harry!" he cried. "Did you eat any of these?"
Harry blinked twice. "Yes... why?"
The twins exchanged glances. "Oh dear," said Fred.
"This isn't good," added George.
"Those biscuits were our experiments," said Fred.
Harry felt his stomach lurch. "What kind of experiment?" asked Harry suspiciously.
The pair looked uncomfortable. And then George said, "Um... check your pants."
Ginny went red and Ron blinked. Harry excused himself and went to the bathroom. There was a pause and a rustling of clothing. And then, a scream. A loud, high pitched scream. "I'LL KILL YOU BOTH!"
"RUN!" yelped Fred in a similar pitch as the pair bolted with an angry Harry behind them.
Ron reached for a biscuit but Molly slapped his fingers. "No touching," she said. "Who knows what the twins did to it."
Harry Potter and the Gender Bending Biscuits
written by Shaun Garin
Harry Potter is owned and created by JK Rowling and all characters and copyrights are for her. This fiction is used for entertainment only. PG-13 for massive silliness and gender jokes along with physical bath humor.
Transformation 101 : How to be a Girl
"GOT YOU!" exclaimed Harry, grabbing Fred by the nape of his neck. Fred made an urk sound as Harry dragged him to his feet and slammed him against the wall. "What did you do to me?" he hissed angrily, sounding like a venomous snake ready to strike.
"It wasn't our fault, it was yours for getting into the food on the table," said George, having come to his twins defense. "Harry, it's not permanent."
Harry sighed and released Fred. Fred coughed for a moment and said in a lighter voice, "You're still as strong as a guy."
Harry blinked. "Fred?"
"Yeah," said Fred as he pulled Harry's hand to his chest.
Harry's eyes widened in alarm. "Oh my god..."
"A bugger, isn't it?" said George with a twinkle in his eyes.
"What did you do to yourself?" asked Harry, aghast.
"Well, it was one of our latest experiments." At Harry's disbelieving stare, Fred smirked. "You ate two of our latest batch..."
"And unfortunately we don't know how strong the dosage is," finished George.
Harry sunk to her knees in shock. She reached under her robes and felt her chest. She had curves. Very small curves, almost non-existent but she had them. "Oh no... no. No no no no no..."
"Look on the bright side mate, you have a small dosage." Fred helped the shocked girl to her feet. "At the very least your voice didn't change too much. Just lightened a little."
"We've been women for months now," said George.
"And there doesn't seem to be an antidote," added Fred.
"Not that we're trying," George.
"Ever try to pee standing up?" finished Fred.
Harry sighed and palmed his face in his hand. "Oh boy."
"There you three are," said Molly. "I was worried when Harry chased you two out the door."
"What's up mate?" asked Ron and Harry looked at Ron in alarm.
"You didn't eat any of those biscuits did you?" demanded Harry.
Ron shook his head. "No, and mum made sure that Ginny didn't either. Why?"
"Those were our experiments," said Fred, letting her higher pitch come out. Molly blinked as well as Ron. Ginny blinked twice.
"It's true mum," said George. "Those are our experiments. Needless to say it didn't turn out too well for this third batch."
"A voice changing biscuit?" asked Ron, picking one up. He was about to eat it when Harry swatted it out of his hands. "Oi! Harry!"
"Don't," said Harry. "Those are Gender Bending Biscuits."
"You can't be serious," said Ginny, stepping into the conversation. "You three don't look any different."
George smirked and walked behind Fred. Jerking her brothers robes open, Ron gaped and Molly gasped, hiding Ron's eyes from view.
"Quite a rack, huh?" said Fred blandly as she covered herself.
Ginny, seeing the warning signs of a Molly Weasley explosion, grabbed Harry and Ron and pulled them out of the store.
"YOU IRRESPONSIBLE, THICK HEADED...!"
"So now what?" asked Harry as the trio sat in the Weasley living room, sharing non-gender bending biscuits. "Fred said there's no antidote for this sort of thing."
"I guess you'll just have to wait it out then," said Ron, hiding a faint smirk under his hands. He then cracked a wider grin and chuckled. Harry gave Ron a patented Voldemort Death Glare.
"It's not funny," said Harry, folding her arms and wincing when she rubbed against her own chest. "They've been girls since eight months ago or so. Who KNOWS how long I'm going to be stuck like this!"
"Look on the bright side," said Ginny. "your looks haven't changed too much and with your chest size, it'll be easy to hide."
"But I don't know the first thing about being a girl!" Harry protested.
"And that's another thing," said Ginny, tapping Harry's chin with a finger. "Your voice hasn't changed much. Just gotten a little more throaty. If anything else, someone could just say that you're suffering from congestion."
Harry buried his face in his hands. "Oh god, why me? I could be like the twins and be a woman for life!"
"Why not?" said Ron, earning the Death Glare from Harry. "You got into the biscuits without no one telling us. And besides, it's NOT that different. If your hair went shocking red, then yes, perhaps there'd be something to be worried about."
"And lets face it, Harry. You may have the body of a girl but at least you're not racked like Pavarti and Lavender are." said Ginny, poking Harry's chest.
Harry jerked as if stung. "Stop it!" she gasped.
"You have the build of a thirteen year old," said Ginny, withdrawing her hand. "I doubt there's anything to be worried about."
"At thirteen, Hermione was more built than I am now," grumbled Harry.
"There you go, acting like a girl again," said Ron with a smirk that seemed to stick on his face. "If anything you're acting like yourself. Just a little different. Besides, how much balance do you think you would have with a sixteen year old top-heavy figure?"
"Ron's right you know," said Ginny. "Women's center of gravity is much lower. If you had large breasts, you'd probably fall over on yourself all the time."
"Don't want ANY breasts," grumbled Harry with a blush.
Ron shrugged, grabbing a biscuit and munching on half of it in a single bite. "I'm sure the twins will figure out an antidote. If not, just wait for it to wear off."
"But I wanna be a guy now!" exclaimed Harry shrilly.
"Come off it," snapped Ginny. "You're sounding like a girl."
"I AM one," shot back Harry.
"And there's more to life being a girl than being pretty and getting what you want." replied Ginny as she took another biscuit. "Want one?"
"I'll stick with tea, thanks," said Harry, feeling put off from seeing biscuits for a good long while.
Harry examined herself in the mirror. There were some subtle changes to her body with the exception of a change of address for her plumbing. Her cheekbones were more rounded and her eyes a little wider. Her hair was still messy and her eyes that startling shade of green that everyone claimed was her mothers.
A constant reminder of her usual malnutrition at the Dursleys was prominent with her painfully thin body. It was a little slimmer than her male one and her hips widened a bit more to give her the female form. Her breasts were small, rather too small. Harry figured that it was due to her lack of food that kept her female form from being overly chesty like the Patil twins, Lavender and even Hermione.
"You could do with some feeding, little one," said the mirror and Harry had to agree. Although he wanted it to be in his original shape, not this curved female form.
Wrapping herself in a big robe provided to her by Arthur, she headed into her shared room with Ron who looked up from his comic books. "Out of the shower now?" he asked, getting up.
"It's free," replied Harry.
Molly had been worried that Harry and Ron were sharing a room but it was better than sharing a room with Ginny. Hermione was due to arrive soon for the remainder of the summer which was a half a week before the beginning of term and she roomed with Ginny.
Harry briefly wondered how she would take things as she dressed. With the lack of substantial breasts, Harry had refused the bra and took her own undergarments. Ginny merely smirked at that and left him to his own devices.
"Hermione! Good to see you!" came the voice of Molly Weasley from downstairs.
Harry sighed and dressed. "God, I hope it wears off soon."
"Hullo Ron, Ginny, Mrs. Weasley," greeted Hermione as she set her trunk down. "Where's Harry?"
"He's upstairs," said Ron.
"Don't bother coming up, I'm here," said Harry as she walked down the stairs.
"Harry!" Hermione embraced her friend and blinked twice. She then let go. "You feel... softer."
"Um, Mione? There's something Harry has to tell you," said Ron.
"Tell me what?" asked Hermione, confused.
"I'm a girl, Mione. I got turned into a girl." said Harry.
Hermione blinked and then giggled. "Oh Harry, stop it! That's not funny."
Ginny huffed, walked over and grasped Hermione's hand. She pressed it to Harry's chest and flexed the other girls fingers. Hermione blinked as she grasped and fondled. Harry gasped.
"Please don't do that," she said, teeth clenched.
Hermione reached over and yanked up Harry's shirt. She then let it down as she giggled. "Harry's a girl," she tittered as she tottered over to the sofa. She then sat down, giggled once more and passed out.
In the ensuring silence, Ron turned to Ginny and said, "Did you HAVE to be so blunt?"
"Get the shock over with first thing," said Ginny as Molly went to tend to the passed out girl.
"So you're a girl now? And no one has tried transfiguring you back?"
"Doesn't work that way," said Harry. "It's potion powered. Transfiguring me back could wind up ugly."
Hermione winced as she sipped her tea, calming her nerves. "Well obviously the first thing to do is to research an antidote."
"Hermione, there is NO antidote!" Ron insisted.
"Then we'll just have to make one!" exclaimed Hermione as she grabbed for her books.
"This'll be a long year," said Harry, rubbing her eyes.
"So tell me again why we're in Diagon Alley again?" said Ron as the four walked down the way towards Weasley Wizard Wheezes.
"I need a sample of the biscuits that Fred and George used," replied Hermione. "If I'm going to come up with a suitable antidote."
Harry nearly tripped on a rock. "How do you keep your balance like this?" he demanded of Ginny.
"It comes natural to me," said Ginny with a lazy shrug. "Hey, I'm going to go off and check out some books."
"Mum gave you the money and she didn't give me any?" exclaimed Ron.
"Hey, I'm more responsible," replied Ginny with a smirk.
Ginny sighed as she closed up another book. Flourish and Blotts was filled with people trying to ring in their purchases. It was three days before Hogwarts term began and students and men and women alike were doing some last minute shopping. "There's nothing in here about human transfiguration," she muttered to herself.
"What you need is a ritual spell," said a girl from her side. Ginny jumped and found herself looking into brown almond-shaped eyes. The girl smiled. "Sorry about that."
"No, it's okay," said Ginny. "Are you from overseas?"
"Yeah, San Francisco," said the girl. "Oh sorry. Jade Chan."
"Ginny Weasley," said Ginny. "You look a bit old to be carrying books for Hogwarts."
"I was home schooled back in San Fran," replied Jade as she picked out a large and heavy tome on potions and rituals. "Well, actually more or less self taught. I'm just here doing some last minute shopping. And to pick up my wand."
Ginny nodded as Jade handed her a thick chinese tome full of Rituals. "There's something in there," said Jade. "I'll help ya, seeing that I know LOADS of stuff about this sort of thing."
Looking at her watch which curiously ticked down the time, Jade said, "You wanna hang out together?"
"But we just met," said Ginny.
Jade smiled, a wide friendly grin. "Don't worry, I'm a good judge of character."
Ginny found the grin infectious. "Sure!"
"Most of my stuff is with Uncle Jackie at the Leaky Cauldron where we're staying," said the girl as the pair walked towards Ollivanders. "He was surprised when Uncle got the teaching job. Uncle wasn't. Said that Dumbledore had been offering him the spot for years."
"Your Uncle is teaching at Hogwarts?" asked Ginny. The only position open was Defense Against the Dark Arts.
Jade nodded as she pushed the door open. "Oh yeah. Uncle's real good at Good Chi Magic. Chi Master Fong was a friend of Dumbledore and I'm sure they would get along fine."
"Ah, Miss Chan," said Ollivander from behind them. Ginny jumped while Jade didn't flinch. "I'm surprised to see you soon after I gave you our owl."
"Heya," greeted Jade. "Is my wand ready?"
"Yes, yes, quite interesting this wand," said Ollivander, hustling to the back. He came out with a thin shaft of wood and handed it to Jade. "Unusual combination. Birch and Dragon Scale, ten and a half inches, whippy. You don't get many combinations like this anymore."
"Cooooool," Jade drawled giving it a swish. Green sparkles came out of it. She then pointed it and a burst of green light flashed out, smashing a vase. "Sorry, had to test out my stun spell."
Ginny looked worried. "The color of a stun spell is green?"
"Yeah," said Jade, unconcerned. "Wizards usually use red, but mine is powered on Good Chi. Most wizards find it disconcerting with a stun spell being green since it's close to the AK thingy. It's good, Mr. Ollivander."
"Thank you. It was a most curious dragon scale I may add," said Ollivander. "from a Demon Sorcerer."
"Shendu," Jade supplied.
Ginny looked freaked. "Demon Sorcerer?"
"Yeah, Shendu. One of the Eight Demon Sorcerers from the time of Ancient China. I've tangled with him before. Watch out for his dragon breath. It's nasty." Jade said this in a most casual way that Ginny wondered what the girl had seen in her time.
"Ah yes, Shendu," said Ollivander. "A most powerful Demon Sorcerer. So powerful that they had to scatter his twelve powers to the winds and then seal him into a stone statue."
Jade nodded. "That's about the big and tall of it. He came back a couple of times but no big deal."
Ollivander looked startled. "Where is he now?"
"Currently locked in a statue in the depths of Section 13," replied Jade.
"You were kidding, right? About your wand core being from a Demon Sorcerer?" asked Ginny.
"Nope. And stop looking at me like that. I may have gotten sunk into the dark arts before but I came out clean."
Ginny sighed. "Sorry. You just kinda sound like me."
Jade slapped a hand into her palm. "Right, now I know who you are. You're the girl who got possessed by Riddle in her first year."
Ginny looked startled. "How did you know about that? It's not common knowledge."
"Uncle's up to date on what happens in the British Wizarding Community considering him and Dumbledore have been penpals for such a long time." Jade grinned and twirled her new wand. "This thing is so cool. I gotta do something to piss Shendu off."
"You really like egging the Demon on, huh?" said Ginny with a shake of her head. "I could never do that."
"It comes with practice," said Jade. Her tone turned serious. "I've seen a lot of stuff. More things that should by all rights, not exist. But hey, that's how I run my life."
"What have you seen?" asked Ginny. Her day was turning odder with the introduction of the new girl.
"Lets see... Shendu, his siblings, Drago, Shendu's son," Jade shuddered, "I don't WANT to know who gave birth to that jackass. Shadowkhan, The King of Oni Terakudo, the Dark Chi Master Dalong Wong..."
Ginny gaped. "You've encountered Dalong Wong? He's one of the most prominent Dark Wizards from the Asian area of the continent!"
"Really? Well you'll be happy to note that he's currently powerless and imprisoned far far away," said Jade with a smirk.
"You took him down?"
Jade shook her head. "Naw, it was a group effort. Uncle delt the finishing blow actually."
Ginny grinned, despite her worry that this girl had enough magical power to take down someone of Dalong Wong's power.
"There you are, Ginny," exclaimed Ron as the pair walked into the Weasley shop. "Who's your new friend?"
"Jade Chan," said Jade with a nod.
"Jade, this is Ron, my brother, Fred and George who are currently female," Jade raised an eyebrow at that and Ginny giggled. "I'll explain later. Hermione Granger and Harry Potter."
Harry grumbled to herself as she expected the customary flick of the newcomers eyes to her forehead but Jade merely grinned and nodded. "Nice ta meetcha all," greeted Jade.
"You're not British, are you," said Hermione.
"Naw, I'm from Hong Kong but I was raised in San Fran for the last six years," replied Jade. She then turned to Harry. "So you're the famous Harry Potter huh? I expected someone more imposing for a start."
Harry blushed and fidgeted. "Um, imposing?"
Jade laughed and clapped the smaller girl on the shoulder. "Hey c'mon, don't take it like that. Unlike most of the wizards in this place, I'm definitely not impressed about the whole Boy-Who-Lived Hype."
"And what's that supposed to mean?" asked Ron, jumping in to defend his friend.
"What I mean is that even though I know of magic, I'm not a rabid fangirl like most of the readers of Witch Weekly," said Jade with a smirk.
Hermione folded her arms. "And I suppose you've done better than Harry?"
Jade was about to reply when Ginny stepped in. "That's enough butting heads for now. Hermione, did you find an antidote yet?"
"No," replied Hermione. "I did find out from these two lunkheads the ingredients for the biscuits."
"Guilty," said Fred.
"As charged," added George.
"It'll serve you two right," said Ginny. "Turning poor Harry into a girl. And you two went the same route!"
"You wound us Ginny," said Fred.
"We never intentionally turned Harry into a girl," said George.
"Besides, you wouldn't want to be all upset when your darling sisters come a-calling, do you?" asked Fred with a flutter of her eyebrows.
"You're mad, both of you," said Ginny, throwing up her arms.
Jade peered. "That's pretty good transfiguration. Potion induced?"
"Of a sorts," said George.
"We placed the materials into biscuits," said Fred.
"It's too strong."
"We've been women.."
"of last year."
Jade giggled. "Cool. I have GOT to feed this to one of the Enforcers next time I see them."
"God I hate Floo Powder," said Jade as Ron vanished into the fireplace. "So I'll see you at the beginning of term then, Ginny?"
Ginny nodded. "Yeah. You have GOT to tell me some of your stories."
"No prob!" exclaimed Jade with a wide grin.
Hermione vanished into the fire, followed by Harry. Then Ginny tossed in her handful calling out "The Burrow!" and then she vanished.
"Jade?" asked an elderly voice from behind her. Uncle walked up behind her and said, "Was that the Boy-Who-Lived?"
"Yeah Uncle, it was." said Jade.
"Hmm... very interesting Chi." murmured Uncle.
"Harry got turned into a girl." At Uncle's startled expression, Jade smirked. "it's a long story."