An assassin and pink valentine


I'm sure the vast majority of you know this stuff but on Valentines day it is customary for girls to give boys they like chocolate that they made themselves. Of course a shop full of fan-girls… but this is one for the Omi Nagi fans. A little sugary something for valentines.

Made especially because it is so very difficult to make chocolate properly.

I originally was only going to post this on the Mailing list but my beta bent my ear because it is only PG-13 at the absolute worst, but all future "coloured" assassins, ie anything that's an assassin and any colour but white will be ML only.


Nagi woke up with the dawn, a rare occurrence for him, as he had reached that stage of adolescence where he was either eating or sleeping given the chance. He woke up to the hellish strains of the Black Label Society. He looked at the clock, then threw off the blankets and thumbed the remote silencing the heavy guitars. He could hear Crawford moving around the safehouse, it was a reassuring noise that made him feel safe and loved.

He showered and got dressed quickly, pulling on a school uniform more out of habit than need and went down the stairs in his slippers. "You're up early," Crawford said noticing him as he looked over the top of his paper.

"It's valentines." Nagi said as he poured himself some breakfast cereal and a glass of fruit juice.

"Are you going to do something for Omi?" Crawford asked, he folded his Yomiuri Shimbun neatly and laid it on the table. He never ate breakfast, just had a cup of coffee and read the paper. He would often get a pastry on the way to the office though because as he constantly pointed out to Nagi breakfast was the most important meal of the day.

"I thought I'd make him some chocolate." Nagi said, "I have all the ingredients, how hard can it be?"

Crawford smiled indulgently, "famous last words those," he sipped his coffee in a meaningful manner, "if you need to I got a package of Swiss chocolates from Sylvia of Farblos1 I was just going to let the rest of you eat."

"I can manage this." Nagi said stiffly, "but thank you for the offer, is she still chasing you?"

"I get the impression I'm not going to get rid of her for anything short of the apocalypse." Crawford said wryly.

"Maybe you should just tell Abyssinian." Nagi said with a smile.

"Do you think it will work?" Crawford asked, rather than just denying his relationship like he normally did.

"Is he jealous?" Nagi said practically beating his cereal into him and speaking with a full mouth.

"I wouldn't know," he said, "I'm not his boyfriend."

"So you're not getting him chocolate for Valentines?" Nagi was only teasing him and Crawford knew it, but he knew better than to bite though.

"No, but he might get me some though."

Nagi choked on a mouthful of honey coated sugar puffs (guaranteed to fill you with energy throughout the day). He decided it would be appropriate to change the subject. "Are you going to stay home today and help me with the chocolate?"

"You have plenty of money, I'm sure Omi won't mind if you just buy him some." Crawford said, "after the pancake day debacle."

"I learnt my lesson from that," Nagi said stiffly, "never let Farfarello help in the kitchen." He offered Crawford his favourite shy smile. "That's why I thought you might help me, Schuldig ate all of the chocolate that came in the post for him and swears he's never going near candy again." He turned on the look that he had learnt from Omi, he made his eyes very large and wobbled his bottom lip just for effect, "and I thought it would be a good bonding experience for us."

Crawford looked at the large blue eyes that he couldn't quite resist at all. "I suppose I could cancel my appointments today." He matched Nagi's grin, "how about you and me go down to Takatori's town house and use his big kitchen to make the chocolate, and that way we have a chef on hand for when it goes wrong." He reached across the table and picked up his cell, "don't thank me just yet."

Nevertheless Nagi glomped him anyway.


In the Koneko Omi stood next to Ken and between them was a cauldron of a foul and bubbling brew. "I don't understand it," Ken said, wiping a smudge of butter off the side off his nose. "We did what it said in the recipe." The kitchen looked like the flour fairies had had a war and the butter fairies had died a miserable death, after a valiant last stand, on the floor. There was broken dishes in the sink. It was clear the pan could never be used again. "We did exactly what it said in the recipe."

"We obviously did something wrong." Omi said looking at the foul and black brew that they had created.

"Fee fii fo fum," Aya said in the doorway, "I smell the mess in my kitchen." He did not look happy. "Clean it up, now!"

Ken didn't even stop to think he just picked up the broom and started to make an inroad to clean the mess left by the last great bakery war.

"Ayan," Omi said turning, "I can't do it," then he burst into floods of tears.

"Omittchi," Aya said softly, "it's not that big of a mess, it took two of you to make it, and Ken will help."

"Snot that." Omi sniffled, snorting with the sound of a tractor starting. "Wanted to make Nagi chocolates for valentines, and, and, and." He started wailing.

"Aya!" Yohji said from the door, "look at the mess, what did you do?" Aya gave him a rather shocked expression, "and you made Omi cry."

"Yohji," Aya said recapturing his equilibrium, "I didn't make Omi cry, now you've got to the count of three." He looked at Yohji with a full factor two shi-ne glare, Yohji was still in his clubbing gear.

"Can't." Omi wailed, "Nagi," he made the tractor sound again, "chocolate."

"Is that all, chibi," Yohji said, "I've got plenty of chocolate you can give him, I always get far more than I can eat, and you know we'll get lots and lots when we open the flower shop." It was sweetly placating.

"But." And Omi dissolved into fresh floods of tears.

"Omi," Aya said, "when this mess is cleared, I'll help you to make the chocolate, okay." Omi launched himself off the stepstool he was stood on to look into the pot and glomped Aya, who made a mental note of the attack possibilities of Omi's flying glomp. "In fact, how about I make the chocolate, and you make a chocolate mousse and some chocolate dipped fruit and we can make him a lot of chocolate." He made a mental note to check with Crawford that Nagi could eat chocolate.

"And whilst Aya's making the chocolate, because you can't do anything then, you and me will go shopping and get him a promise ring." Yohji said, "just give me a chance to get a shower, eh, chibi." He took a blocking stance waiting for Omi to move the flying glomp from Aya to himself.

"And you can make chocolate boxes and put the mousse and the fruit in them, and have one with the promise ring." Ken said over the flurry of broom strokes.

The other three looked at him. "That's a really good idea." Aya said.

"It's so sweet." Omi said.

"It's so gay." Yohji said, "there's no way a straight man would think of that."

Ken blushed bright red, "I live with you three, I can pick up a few things along the way."

"Bi," Yohji corrected.

"Denial." Aya added with a smirk.

Ken, used to their teasing, just stuck his tongue out at them.


At the Takatori mansion Nagi looked at Crawford where he was waving his magnum at the chocolatier that Takatori had hired especially. "And you will help the boy make chocolate." He shouted.

Schuldig was leaning against one of the work surfaces looking bored whilst Farfarello was happily amused licking out the contents of a mixing bowl, he had cake mix all over his face but really didn't seem to care in the slightest that it meant that he would have to have a bath later in the day. "He doesn't speak Japanese," he said, "he's," he paused to give the word a little more weight, "Belgian."

Crawford said a word that was recognisable in most languages. Then started to speak to the man in French, he saw no need to learn Belgian and French was very similar, explaining to the man that he either helped Nagi make chocolate fancies or he would start examining the wildlife of the Tokyo Bay intimately. The chocolatier seemed to understand the urgency and began the complicated process of making chocolate.


After several long and complicated hours in the kitchen both Aya and Omi stood back to marvel at their masterpiece, there were four chocolate boxes, each made with a different strength of chocolate, the largest one, the one mixed with mint oil, was full of raspberries dipped in white chocolate, the next one was full of a dark and creamy mousse, the third full of chocolate covered pecans and the fourth, the smallest of them all, had the promise ring that Yohji had bought to stop Omi crying.

Aya took a deep breath, "my work here is done, I can die happy."

"Ayan," Omi said with a distinctive quiver in his voice, "thank you so much." Aya didn't even bother to try and defend himself from the flying glomp.

"Wow," Ken said from the doorway, "Aya, you've really, really excelled yourself with this one."

"Believe me, I feel it." Aya said, "there's a tray of chocolate drops in the fridge that should be done by now, do you want to bring them in for the fangirls."

"Pardon?" Ken asked, sure he'd misheard him.

"I made too much chocolate, there is a shop full of girls out there that would appreciate them more than we would, I don't know about Omi but I hope I never see chocolate again." Aya said, "now I'm going upstairs for a shower, I smell like the inside of a godiva shop."

"Aya," Ken said, "sometimes I think you're almost sweet."

"Don't let word get out." Aya said tiredly, "I still have a reputation to maintain as a cold blooded killer." He left the kitchen in the direction of his bedroom.

"I'll help you with those, Kenken," Omi said as Ken opened the fridge. "It's the least I can do after you helped me this morning."

"Speaking of which, what happened to that?" he said referring to the vat of "chocolate" that they had made this morning.

"Aya buried it in the greenhouse." Omi answered with a smile.

As Ken stepped into the shop with the tray of chocolate he was almost sure that he heard Aya laughing. "Kawaii," someone shouted, "Ken-san, and Omi-san." He braced himself for impact, "and they brought us chocolate."


"Into the bath with you, you foul smelling heathen." Schuldig said to Farfarello that evening.

"Don't wanna." Farfarello protested, "you can't make me."

"Don't make me use the cattle prod." Schuldig said, "you smell, now into the bath."

"Smell of cin-mon." Farfarello whined.

"That's because you have enough cinnamon batter in your hair to make a batch of rolls, now come on, or you're not having any chocolate." Schuldig said.

"No one sends me chocolate." Farfarello was in full whining mode.

"That's where you're wrong, Abyssinian sent us all chocolate because he and Omi made far too much." It was the complete truth after all, they had shown up with a tray of chocolate for Nagi and a large box of chocolate drops for everyone else to share, "and not only that Crawford and I always share our valentines chocolate with you, don't we?"

"Yes," Farfarello mumbled.

"Well, come on, then, into the bath, the sooner we get you cleaned and into your straight-jacket the sooner you can have some chocolate." But in his head Schuldig added the words "but not too much because there's nothing worse than a hyper lunatic."


In the parlour of the Schwartz safe house Nagi looked at Omi and the tray of chocolates he had brought him, and felt rather inadequate. He and Jean-Paul, the Belgian chocolatier, had spent the whole day making something for Omi and now it seemed that Omi had made enough chocolate for most of Tokyo. Omi looked very young and sheepish, rubbing the tips of his shoes against the nap of the carpet. "I made some chocolate." He said, then licked his lips. "Well, Aya made some chocolate and I helped."

"Thank you." Schuldig said snatching the tray, Aya kicked him in the shin and took it back, offering it to Omi with a look to Schuldig that suggested that if he tried it again he'd do more than just kick him in the shin. "My shin." Schuldig said sloping off with both hands around his leg.

Omi carried the tray over to Nagi, "we made a little too much, and with all the chocolate we got from the fangirls, but Aya and I thought you wouldn't get much."

"He got some from Todt." Farfarello said, his hair was wrapped up in a white towel that had gone slightly grubby.

Crawford shot him a killing glare, that wasn't quite a shi-ne glare, but the dangerous glint off his glasses made it that much worse.

"Thank you." Nagi said and lifted the cloth to reveal four square chocolate boxes.

"Aya made the boxes, I made the contents." Omi said blushing.

Nagi handed him the paper wrapped box of chocolates that he and Takatori's chocolatier had made. Omi ripped open the paper and looked at the contents before he grabbed Nagi with a flying glomp, Crawford forseeing this happening grabbed the tray and the box and saved them from going flying. Inside the box was a bunch of chocolate freesias.

"Well," Crawford said putting the chocolates down on the table, "lets leave the chibis to say their thank you's in peace. Schuldig, didn't you have a date?" Schuldig nodded and excused himself, "And Farfarello, it's past your bedtime."

Aya followed Crawford out of the room into the hallway, "we better not leave them too long."

"Chocolatey kisses can be a little sickly." Crawford mused, "but they won't do anything with us in the hall." He removed his glasses and closing them, he put them in his jacket.

"It was very sweet what you did for Nagi," Aya said, leaning against him in a rather affectionate hug.

"And how much chocolate did you make?" Crawford said and then tilted his face up for a kiss.

"Do you think that they're kissing?" Omi asked looking at the door that led to the hall.

"Probably," Nagi said, "but they'll just deny it." He blushed, "did you like the chocolate?"

"I did." Omi said, "here, try one of these." He knocked the lid off one of the boxes and lifted one of the chocolate covered raspberries.

"Thank you," Nagi said biting down on the fruit, it was tart and sweet and smooth and silky all at the same time. Then swallowing he decided something, he took a step closer to Omi and kissed him on the mouth.


Author's Note

1. Sylvia of Farblos is mentioned in the Schwartz only cd drama, the translation is available at Hopeforlorn . net

2. I deliberately ended it there because it is the very first time Nagi and Omi kiss on screen as it were.