Title: When Plushies Attack
Author: Shadows of Chaos61
Rating: PG 13
Pairing: Seto X Yami
Warnings: language, sexual content, and yaoi. Don't like then press the back button without reading on.
Disclaimer: Yugioh does not belong to me
Summary: When Seto reads the morning paper he sees something that has him running to the Game Shop where a strange war begins.

This one-shot is for Pysche, who is an amazing writer, fellow Seto x Yami fan, and an all around great person! Also a special thanks to Desidera who helped me with the article!

"Good morning Mok…"

Seto cut himself short when he spied his little brother sitting at the kitchen table. It wasn't the fact that he was there, no it was because of what Mokuba was doing or rather reading that made him stop and blink in confusion.

Usually the younger Kaiba could be found reading either a gory novel or manga of some sort but today he was looking at the daily paper. Never before had Mokuba ever been interested in the 'real' world dealings. But he was so engrossed in it that he didn't even notice his older brother sitting down beside him.

"Umm Mokuba?"



Still nothing.


Wide curious eyes finally tore away from his reading only to blink at his brother before a wide grin graced his face. "Niisama! You're up!"

"Yes, I am and you would have realized that if you weren't so busy reading that. By the way, why are you reading the newspaper?"

"Umm, no reason," he said as he quickly stuffed the paper under the table. "So… are you going to work today?"

Seto narrowed his eyes, "Why did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Hide the paper? You know I always read it in the morning."

Blushing, Mokuba looked away, "I didn't want you to see it."

"And why is that? Have our stocks gone down?"

Mokuba chuckled nervously, "No, stocks are still at an all time high!"

"Then let me see it."

Sighing, slate-gray eyes looked back at his brother. "Ok, but you must promise not to go off killing him! It's not his fault!"

Now Seto was even more curious, "Whatever Mokie."

"Promise me!"

"Fine! I promise not to kill whomever! Now hand over that paper!" Grabbing the said object from small, outstretched hands, he glared one last time before he flipped it over and looked at the front page.

Blue eyes scanned the page until they landed on a certain unfavorable headline in the editorial that took up half the front page:

Yami Moutu, Sexiest Champion in the Duel Monsters World.

Growling under his breath, he couldn't help but read the article.

What once used to be a mainly male obsession, quickly turned into a female one when girls soon found out that the game did not merely attract childish, adolescent players.

Young women were first introduced to the world of Dueling with Seto Kaiba, once reigning champion and CEO of Kaiba Corp., the icy genius that all the girls want to marry. Want? Well, perhaps I should say wanted, because the second Yami Moutu appeared the world fell in love. Now he is the spokes model for more than just a few companies and the leather-clad, crimson- eyed dream of many fan girls' sleepless nights.

His left eye twitched as he continued reading.

Those who don't admire his looks have to at least admit he is a master of his game. The way he manages to pull himself out of any hopeless situation, the way he turns the tables and wins with a snap of his fingers, with a sexy smirk on his lips. Confidence and power are natural attributes that just go along with his name. Surprisingly, his outward image is all we know about Moutu. He keeps his past as well as his private life well covered; although some details or rumors might be know to hard-core fans.

Some rumors state that Moutu is single and looking, others state that he is taken, while even more state that he is currently dating another duelist. If this is true, then many a girl will be crying into their pillows tonight. But more importantly, who is this mysterious duelist that has captured the heart and body of the worlds' sexiest Duel Monsters Champion?

Well girls I might have an answer to that. One of my sources has told me that Moutu has caught the eye of none other than the famous past reigning champion, Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corp. Who would have thought….

Enraged blue eyes snapped up from their reading as he crumpled the paper in his fists. How dare they bring his name up in this! And to think that this person actually thought that HE had a thing for his rival! It was absurd, unthinkable, and unfortunately…


Yes, the Seto Kaiba had a thing for his rival, the only person that he had come to respect in many ways. The one person that had never backed down from him, had never turned his back on him when he needed help whether he asked for it or not. Yami was the only one that had some how crawled under his thick icy shell and had permanently lodged himself there.

But he'd be damned if anyone knew that and now there was a public article stating his biggest secret.

Oh heads would roll.

Mokuba sat in silence as he watched his brother wad the harmless paper into nothing more than a ball. Personally, he didn't understand why his brother was getting so worked up about this. It's not like the newspaper had printed anything falsely. He knew that Seto liked the spirit of the puzzle more than just a worthy rival. But maybe it was a bad idea for the news to come out this way.

He made a mental wager that the Domino Herald would be owned by Kaiba Corp by lunchtime and the editor would be fired or killed a minute after the contracts were signed.


Seto gritted his teeth and turned a murderous look at his younger brother. "I'll. Be. Back." He grounded out as he turned on his heel and made his way to the front door with the balled up paper still in his hand.


A vicious slam of the door was all the response Mokuba got. Sighing, he looked over to the phone and wondered if he should call the Game Shop to warn Yami.

"Nah, if anyone can handle my brother it would be him."

Seto fixed his icy glare out the tinted window of his limo as it left his company. It had taken all of thirty minutes to buy out the damned newspaper company that had dared to write such an article with him in it. Then it took another hour to get rid of anyone that had anything remotely to do with that same editor. Needless to say Kaiba Corp was now looking to hire about twenty new people for the new and improved KC Herald.

Grunting, he turned his gaze down to the crumpled newspaper still somehow had lodged in his hand. He couldn't believe that his biggest secret had been printed it for the whole world to see. Seto had always prided himself on the fact that he kept his private life out of the public eye but now all that had been thrown out the window. And what was worse was that the object of his affections had probably seen the editorial this morning.

But he was on his way to fix that problem. In a few minutes he would be at the Game Shop and he was going to let the spirit of the puzzle know that what had been printed was nothing more than a rumor and in no way was it true. He didn't think he would have a hard time convincing Yami that it was false since he was sure that the Pharaoh had no feelings for him.

Yami could have anyone he wanted. He didn't need or want an icy cold-hearted CEO.

Feeling the limo come to a stop, he looked back out the window only to gasp at what he saw.

On the side of a public bus, was an advertisement that almost had him drooling. It was for a well-known clothing company but the model was even better known. He was dressed in tight fitting low riding black leather pants with a white embroidered dragon wrapped around his right left. The dragon's snout was butted up against the man's crotch willing the admirer to all but stare at package between the man's legs. A white long sleeve gauze shirt hung untucked and unbuttoned, revealing a bronzed toned chest. Exotic crimson eyes were looking over the rims of a pair of Ray-Ban sunglasses. Perfect, seductive body cocked in that famous stance of his that all but screamed at him saying 'look at me, you know you want to'.


Mentally, Seto smacked himself as he snapped his jaw shut. THAT was not what he needed to see right now, not when he was on his way to see the model in person and convince that person that he did not like him. But damn if that didn't look hot.

He closed his eyes as he felt the limo pull away again, thanking whoever was above that he wasn't being tortured anymore by a sign on a bus. Idly, though, he began to wonder how much the advertising company would sell the ad for and if it would fit over the mantel of his fireplace in his bedroom and if it didn't then he could always mount it on the ceiling over his bed.

Yawning, Yami wondered into the kitchen, barely able to see through sleep-clouded eyes, clad in nothing but a pair of dark blue shorts he had been sleeping in. Running a hand through his less than perfect hair, he opened up the refrigerator, looking for his favorite mid-morning treat, strawberry yogurt.

Pulling out two cups of the cold dairy product, he grabbed a bowl and spoon before he jumped up on the counter, only to shiver slightly when the cold surface met the back of his bare thighs. Ripping off the foil lid, he dumped the contents into the plastic bowl and proceeded to do the same to the other yogurt cup. Sighing as the creamy goodness slid down his throat, he didn't even know that Yugi had entered the room.


"Yes aibou?" he said as he took another spoon full of yogurt into his mouth.

"Don't you think you need to get dressed?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Why? It's not like I'm going anywhere today. It's my day off remember?"

"Yeah, I know but you have company and I thought you wouldn't want him to see you in nothing but a pair of shorts."

"It's not like your friends haven't seen me like this before."

"Oh, this isn't one my friends, this one is yours."


"He is not my friend," came a gruff reply from the entrance to the kitchen making Yugi let out a squeak while Yami just scowled as he continued eating his yogurt

"Umm I think I'll be leaving now."

Yami watched his light scurry out of the room before he looked at Seto. "Well good morning to you Sunshine. What do I owe this pleasure?"

Growling, Seto took a few steps forward before he threw the wadded up newspaper at Yami, who caught it. "I want to know, did you put the newspaper up to that? Are you the one that spread those lies!"

Raising a confused eyebrow, Yami set his bowl on the counter and proceeded to undo the mess of paper. Moving his bowl over, he spread out the newspaper on the surface, running his palm over it to smooth out the wrinkles.

Crimson eyes flickered over the front page only to blink a few times before he let out a hardy laugh, barely able to stay on the counter.

"What the hell is so funny!" Seto growled out as he stepped even closer to the spirit of the puzzle, trying his best not to openly stare at the nearly naked body before him.

Wiping a stray tear from his eye, Yami picked his bowl back up and shoved another spoon full into his mouth. "Do you honestly think that I would tell such blatant lies? Really Kaiba, you should know me better than that. And I know you well enough that I would never catch your eye."

"Don't start to assume you know anything about me!"

"Oh?" Yami quirked an eyebrow in amusement, "Then I have caught you eye? Interesting."

Blanching at the thought of the sexy Pharaoh catching on to the truth, he balled his hands into fists and stepped right up to Yami, looking him straight into the eye. "Like I would be interested in someone that doesn't even exist!"

Frowning at the other's words, Yami glanced down at his bowl of half eaten yogurt, dug his spoon into it and brought it up to his face, examining it. Crimson eyes never left the spoon, as a malice grin spread across his face. "Oh, I exist alright. Or maybe I don't and this yogurt has a mind of it's own."

Seto blinked once, confused, before a pink glob flew out of the spoon and landed with a 'splat' on his face.

Enraged, Kaiba didn't even bother trying to wipe the stuff off of him, as he blindly made a grab for Yami, who he thought was still in front of him, only to find he was groping air. He whirled around when he heard a rather insane laughter coming from behind him.

Letting out a scream of rage, Seto swiped at his face, removing part of the creamy yogurt. "I'm going to kill you!"

Yami tried to control his laughter, "I don't exist remember? That makes it kinda hard to kill me doesn't it?" he stated between pants only to grin as Seto charged at him. Laughing his head off, he deftly moved out of range and ran out of the kitchen, Seto hot on his heels.

Even though Seto had longer strides, Yami knew the house better and it put him at an advantage. Running into the living room, he stopped behind the couch, grinning like an idiot behind his aibou, who was sitting there trying to watch TV. Amused crimson eyes looked on as a fuming Seto stopped in front of the couch just a few feet away from Yugi.

Amethyst eyes looked on curiously as his yami came flying into the room with a look that resembled Bakura in too many ways to make Yugi feel comfortable. But before he could question his dark's strange actions, a tall foreboding figure loomed over him, glaring icily at the person behind the couch. Yugi's eyes went wide when he saw traces of pink stuff smeared on Seto's face.

"Stop running and face me like a man!" Seto growled out as he stepped closer to the couch, making Yugi shrink back into further.

"I'm no mere man," Yami sniffed as if the words wounded him. "I'm a Pharaoh, child of the gods! And master of yogurt bombs!"

Seto paused, fighting back a grin that wanted to tug at his lips seeing the 'Almighty Pharaoh' act like a child, finding it rather… cute. Instead he turned it into a smirk, "Fine Pharaoh, have it your way."

In one leap, Seto jumped over the back of the couch, sending Yami into another fit of laughter as he quickly turned and ran down the hall, Seto again following him.

Yugi cautiously peeled himself away from the couch, turning to look over the back of it with a bewildered expression on his face. Did it seem like Seto was enjoying himself? Shaking his head, he muttered to himself 'hell as frozen over' as he picked up the remote, flipping channels to see if there were any reports of pink pigs with wings, flying anywhere.

Running out of hallway, Yami made a quick turn to the left and entered Yugi's bedroom. He spun around, once he hit the wall, to see Seto standing in the doorway, looking at him with a strange expression on his face. Crimson eyes, dancing with mirth, cast a quick glance around the room, to rest on the pile of Duel Monster plushies that were piled up on his hikari's bed.

With a smirk on his lips, he grabbed the stuffed Dark Magician, and looked back at Seto.

"What the hell is up with you, Yami?" Seto asked as he eyed the plushie and spirit warily.

"You need to lighten up Kaiba. It's not good for someone your age to walk around like they have a pine tree stuck up their ass all the time. Course I never figured you for one that would allow anything up your ass, or is there a side of you I don't know?"

Growling low in his throat, Seto stalked forward, fully intent on making Yami pay for those words, when he heard, "DARK MAGIC ATTACK!" and got a face full of…

…purple Dark Magician.

Yami just doubled over with laughter at the stunned look on the CEO's face, it was too priceless for words. Wrapping his arms around his waist, to keep from falling in the floor, he looked back at Seto only to find sapphire eyes, eyeing the bed.


Seto smirked as he snatched a Blue Eyes White Dragon from the dismantled pile of plushies and faced the spirit. "So that's the way you want to play huh?"

Not liking the look on the CEO's face, Yami grabbed a Kuribo from the bed and narrowed his eyes, "Make your move Priest."


Yami skillfully dodged the stuffed creature that Seto had launched at him and quickly laced the Kuribo with a bit of shadow magic.

Seto laughed; "You expect that fur ball to harm me?"

"Just watch and learn from the game master. Even the smallest creatures can pack a punch!" A feral grin spread across his face as he threw shadow laced monster at him.

Amused, Seto just stood there, waiting for the tiny thing to bounce off of him. Unfortunately, he didn't know that Yami had added something to it…

…until it exploded in his face.

This time Yami didn't bother to hold himself up as he collapsed on the bed in a fit of laughter at the sight of fur and stuffing raining down on top of his opponent.

Shaking his head, Seto was forced to spit out man-made fur that had found its way into his mouth. Sapphire eyes flicked over the to the still chuckling yami, only to blink at the sight. Here was his greatest opponent, who only moments ago had acted like a child, and even more astonishing is the fact the he, had acted like one too. Who would have thought that the great Seto Kaiba would have partaken in a stuffed Duel Monsters fight? Certainly not him.

It was demeaning, humiliating, childish, but oddly….relaxing.

How was it that a three thousand year old spirit of a Pharaoh, a great ruler of a nation, was the only one to bring this side out of him? It was all too weird, but at this moment, strangely, he didn't care. For once in his life he felt free of the burdens that had been placed upon his shoulders at such an early age. He was a normal eighteen year old, in the room of his greatest rival's aibou, and there was no one around but the object of his lust induced dreams to witness it.

Hmmm… time for round two.

With an already victorious smirk on his face, Seto dove for the bed, catching the slightly calming spirit off guard, pinning his hands above his head.

"So Pharaoh, did you think that little trick of yours would stop me from claiming my victory?"

Yami snorted as crimson eyes gazed downward, looking at the position the CEO had him in. Not that he minded of course, he just wasn't going to give up just yet. "Oh, Priest," he stated in an equally mocking tone. "When will you learn that you can never defeat me?"

"Hmm, and what would your admirers say if they saw you like this? On the bottom?"

"They would say that I'm just biding my time."

A delicate eyebrow rose, "Biding your time for what?"

"This!" In one swift movement, Yami tucked a knee up underneath Seto and pushed. Taking the shocked CEO by surprise, he lifted himself up and effectively pinned the taller man beneath him.

Bare legs trapped Seto's hips as Yami leaned forward, pale wrists held tightly in his bronzed colored hands, moist pink lips just inches from his own. Crimson locked onto sapphire, "Why Kaiba, is that a tree branch sticking out your ass or are you just happy to have me dominate you?"

Seto growled and glared despite the blush forming on his cheeks. "I'll show you who's getting dominated!" Using his bigger size to his advantage, Seto skillfully flipped them back over, once again on top. "This is more like it," he whispered just inches from Yami's ear.

"You have a lot to learn, Seto," he said as he looked at the man above him with sudden lust-filled eyes.

"And what might that be?"

Crimson eyes spied a streak of strawberry smeared across Seto's cheek. "Just because one is on the bottom does not mean they are not in control." A moist tongue darted out, slowly licking its favorite treat off of soft skin, making Seto shiver in response. "The real control is making the one on top think he is in control. It's a mind game, and I am the Master." Another flick of his tongue, and a moan his reward. "So tell me Seto, are you willing to play with me?"

Seto bit back another moan as the male beneath him raised his hips slightly, rubbing obvious twin arousals together. "And if I make you lose control?" he said as his lips lightly brushed the other's. "What happens then?"

Smoldering crimson, lit with the fires of lust, slid closed; "Why don't we find out?"

With a feral growl, Seto claimed Yami's lips in a brutal, passionate kiss, wanting, needing, willing the other to surrender that control. His nightly dreams had shown him this moment many times, but they were nothing like the real thing. The demon that had haunted him was now lying beneath him, wanting him as much as he wanted the other.

Releasing the hands he had imprisoned before, he let his fingers search and memorize every inch of the lithe tanned body, feeling the perfection that was Yami. Lips broke apart, only to trail down the slender neck, nipping, teasing, sucking at the tantalizing flesh. Excited gasps of air filtered their way to his ears as his mouth lingered on a particular sensitive spot, making Yami's body arch up in delight.

Tanned figures caught pale ones in their grasp, bringing them up to Yami's searching mouth, drawing them in, while his moist tongue encircled them, sucking lightly, sending the wordless message to the other of what he wanted.

Seto's free hand trailed down the toned body, stopping at the hem of cotton black shorts, dipping nimble fingers below, teasing, touching the smooth skin below them, refraining from the contact they so much wanted.


Two bodies stiffened in response, only for Seto to groan and fall heavily onto Yami, nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck.

Crimson eyes still clouded with passion, peaked over the taller man's shoulders to look at Yugi. "Well we WERE trying to have sex! That's what two people do on a bed!" Seto chuckled against Yami's neck, making him shiver.

"I know that! But why do you have to do it my bed and with my plushies surrounding you! You might get them… sticky!" A deep blush formed on Yugi's childlike face as he adverted his eyes away from the two still lying on the bed.

Yami rolled his eyes as Seto climbed off of him and held out a hand to help the other up. "Come on Yami, we'll go back to my house so we don't taint the toys."

"Alright, let me get dressed."

"Nope, no time."

Yami squeaked as Seto hoisted him up on his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. Not really in the mood to fight, Yami just waved to his aibou as they disappeared down the hall.

"We'd better hurry Seto." Yami said as they reached the living room.


"Cause he's about to discover…."


"…the kuribo."


Dragon: Umm yeah, so now that you have survived this strange story, please review! Thanks!