Chapter Sixteen: Mon Phantome
Isis looked at me blankly. "What?" she said finally, very un-distantly.
I sighed and nodded tiredly, holding my forehead in my hand. "I was dead. There was no way that I could've gone back to Bakura. I was dead."
Isis looked at me quizzically, her eyes narrowing and her eyebrows furrowed. "But you...I lost contact with you after so long...is that why? But how...how did you die? You were always a healthy little boy..."
I sighed again and slumped back against my chair, rubbing my head and eyes. "I don't know...I got...I got really confused, I guess, when they took me away. I didn't even know that Rishid and I were switched. They just took me away and told me that Bakura was waiting for me. After I followed him, I was told I needed to get my initiation..." I sighed again. "Isis...do you remember, a long time ago, when Ryou was living with us...he tried to stop my initiation?"
Isis nodded. "Yes...he was very upset that you were going to be hurt...as were you..." Here, her eyes narrowed considerably at the Rod in my hands; I knew what she was trying to say.
I sighed again. "Well...when I got my initiation in Egypt that time, when they tricked me from going with Bakura...I...I don't know...I got...I got really angry, and I got really sad." I felt my eyes prickle slightly. "I...I loved him so much, and when I found out that I was not even going to be with him...go with him...I got so angry, and I got so upset..." I began to shake. "Isis...I created him again...that time when Bakura was taken away from me...Marik...Marik took over..."
Isis's eyes flashed and she stood. "You mean to say...Marik was there? He had already been born 3,000 years ago?"
I nodded and wiped my eyes quickly. "I don't remember much of what had happened...I don't know...Marik got really upset and after a couple days after our initiation, he got into a fight with a couple of the guards because they tried to restrain him...I myself was too tired...to fight him..."I weakly looked up. "Next thing I know, Marik's gotten into a fight, he's bleeding in my body, and I haven't even gotten over my pain and misery to even go find Bakura. Marik...he screwed ...he screwed a lot of things up, but he protected me...he took the pain for me when I couldn't handle it during my initiation." I lowered my head again. "I don't know, I...we tried to get out, we tried to escape, Marik helped me escape when I was too sad too, but he got into a fight...we didn't make it out alive..."
I clutched my head and slowly began to cry. "I couldn't...I couldn't get back to Bakura..." I sobbed. "...And he hates me now..."
Slowly, as I cried, I felt my sister move towards me. Her arms found my shoulders and wrapped them tight to her. Having nearly forgotten the simple comfort of my beloved sister's arms, I lost my control and burst into tears, holding onto her like the small little boy that I had always been.
I don't know what possessed me to return here, but I did. Shortly after the incident of the masquerade ball, Marik was nowhere to be seen. When he did return to me, he was looking very grim and very solemn. I was in a hurry; I had recieved note from my Angel that he had returned, and that I was to resume my lessons at once.
"Where are you going?" Marik demanded as he tried to stop me from leaving my dorm room. I couldn't look at him when I replied.
"...Out," I said simply. Marik didn't believe me and gripped my arm tightly.
"You're going back to him, aren't you?" Marik said, almost bitterly. "Why are you going back to him?"
I couldn't turn back and look at Marik when I replied. I kept my back to him and tried to hold my quivering voice at bay.
"I have to," I said, my voice strained. Marik yanked me towards him and forced me to look at him.
"And what about our engagment?" Marik demanded of me. "What about our marriage?"
I couldn't bear to look into his eyes and quickly turned away. Tears surged and brimmed at the corners of my eyes, threatening to shed. Dark bags hung from underneath my eyes and my cheeks had gotten slightly thinner from not eating since the Masquerade Ball. I sank into Marik's grip tiredly and shook my head, refusing to look at him.
"There's nothing I can do," I whispered heart-brokenly. I gently pried my arm away from his grip. "We'll...we'll have to ...break it off."
Without looking back at Marik, I fled to the museum where I was to meet my Angel once more. My cloak flapped behind, echoing after the silence that tried to follow. I couldn't look back at Marik. I knew I was breaking his heart this way, but there was no possible way we could possibly ever marry with the presence of my Angel. I had already told him that.
What I did not tell him was that even after we admitted our love on the rooftop that night, I had not expected my Angel to leave. I had thought that he was still there; I had never intended to be so close to Marik after we confronted one another. I may have loved him, yes, but my Angel came first. When my Angel left, I found out that I had loved Marik because he was so reliable, so caring; he was there to talk to when I was unsure of my Angel's intent.
Now my Angel was back. I could not return to Marik, no matter how much I wished I could still grip that childhood love we had before.
"You came," my Angel said coldly when I arrived in the darkness of the museum. "I'm impressed."
I winced, standing awkwardly at the locked entrance of the museum. I watched in detached dread as my Angel began to walk towards me. He was donning a full suit; complete with kerchief, vest, overcoat and a cape and top hat. The skull-headed cane was once again in his white hands, gloved with immaculate wrinkles. He collars around his wrists were stiff and impeccable...not one trace of dust or grim lingered on his frame.
His eyes bore into my with such spiting anger that I was too afraid to stare at them directly. I twiddled my fingers nervously, knowing the impending doom I was about to endure. I was about to recieve punishment: great punishment, as not only did I disobey direct orders, but I had also remained unfaithful. I shivered in fear and unconciously backed up against the door.
As predicted, his hand swung in the air and was about to crack across my cheek when I screamed and ducked. My whole body quaked with uneasiness and weakly, I peaked out from my closed eyelids and saw that his hand was just a mere inch away from my cheek. A snarl slowly crept across his face and he continued his slap, except because he had stopped at such close proximity, it did not hurt as much as it should have.
"Fool," he snarled at me. "Didn't I tell you not to show weakness?"
I slowly brought a hand to my stinging cheek, and nodded weakly. "I am sorry, my Angel,"I whispered obediently. My Angel snorted and walked away from me, tapping his cane lightly on the glass display case that held the tomb of the Sennen Items.
"Apparently not sorry enough," my Angel hissed, suddenly turning to look at me. "You lied to me. You blatantly lied to me and you decieved me!"
I felt his words swiftly stab at my heart like a poisoned knife, slitting all my strings of self-perserverance and confidence. It hurt , however, so much worse to know that everything he said was true.
I fell to my knees and began to cry, clasping my hands in prayer. "No, Angel, I am sorry!" I begged. "Please, I am sorry! I will never do that again! I will never be unfaithful again!"
"Do NOT LIE TO ME!" he bellowed at me. He quickly grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled me upright once more, staring at me with such fiery anger that I strongly wished to curl up into a ball and hide. He shoved me away from him, but continued to glare at me, his chest rising and falling rapidly in near, uncontrollable rage.
I whimpered and raised my hands again, afraid of a beating. "Please, Angel!" I cried. "Please don't hurt me!"
My Angel snorted at me in disgust, and wrenched my arms away from my face. "Why?" he demanded of me. "WHY did you do this to me? WHY did you leave me and DIRECTLY DISOBEY MY ORDERS?Have you no discipline? No WILL whatsoever!"
My throat hitched, caught tightly between crying and blubbering. My wrists shivered fearfully in his grip, but I knew he wanted an answer. And very quickly too.
"I did wait!" I cried out truthfully. "I did! I...I just...I've always loved Marik!" I blurted. "I always have! But I...I loved you more!"
"YOU LIE," he spat at me, and shook me violently. "Don't you DARE lie to me, or you will find yourself a widow six months after!"
I burst into tears and began to cry, very hard. I was so afraid...so very afraid of his violent anger and his horrible temper. I knew I deserved punishment and that I had been a terrible person to accept Marik's proposal so quickly. I quickly fell to my knees, not just for mercy, but also because my body could no longer handle the stress and the sleepless nights I had spent debating myself over the same thing.
"I did," I whispered brokenly. "I waited...I told him I loved him, only because I was afraid..."
"Afraid," my Angel echoed. "Afraid. Afraid of WHAT?"
I stiffened and tried to curl at his feet and knees, tears dripping helplessly down my cheeks. "...Angel...Angel please, you..."
"I frighten you?" he answered for me. "Is that it, Little Ryou? Do I frighten you?"
I weakly nodded my head, but clutched at his pants for mercy. "Yes...but only because I don't know you," I whispered. "Please, Angel...please, don't speak of death so easily that way...about dark things...dark things that I...I..." I closed my eyes. "That I'm afraid to hear..."
I heard him snort again and snap, but his hands slowly slid from their grip on my shoulders, and hung limp by his side. I hugged his legs to me, my body so weak and shaking; I had to hold on for some sort of stability.
"You...you frighten me when you do things like that," I whispered heart-brokenly. "When you...won't tell me what happened...what happened in that strange room...when you...seem to like me one moment but then you seem to hate me the next...or when...when you killed that...that boy..." I closed my eyes and sobbed into his knees. "Why did you kill that boy?"
He didn't say anything, but I knew. That boy...he had been the sacrifice needed.
I sobbed again and clutched the fabric weakly in my grasp. "You frighten me...Angel..." I whispered. "I...I don't know anything about you...and you won't open up to me..."
"Is that why you went to that pathetic Ishtal boy?" my Angel snapped at me. "Just simply because you were too afraid to tell me how you felt?"
I shook fearfully and nodded my head, crying against the soft texture of his pants.
"I...I was afraid...you were killing people," I whispered. "I didn't know what to think...I was afraid...that maybe you'd kill me too...or Marik..." I clutched him closer to me and sank to the ground, my forehead on his feet. "He's my best friend," I whispered. "I love him dearly...if I hadn't met you, I would've married him...I had to...tell him...I was so afraid...I didn't know what was going on..."
I heard him sigh, but it was a harsh one. I tearfully looked up at him.
"Please forgive me, Angel," I begged. "Please...you...you left me...and I thought...I thought you were really gone..."
My Angel looked back down at me and turned away, his white hair flicking over his shoulder. "Your lack of discipline disgusts me," he said, although his voice had now lost a lot of its initial anger. "The moment I'm gone, you think I will never return?"
I quivered again and shook my head, hugging his ankles now. "I...I ...it killed me when you were gone," I breathed fearfully. "I could never live without you...Angel...I'd...I'd go insane...but...after you left..." I looked away. Everything I was telling him...it was all true. My heart...for once, it felt so much more relieved, like as if I no longer had to hide it from him. After all, what else could he do? Kill me... and that's it... "...After you left...when I was afraid and I was sad...Marik was there...he helped me through it. But there was never a day I stopped praying for you, hoping one day you'd come back." I lowered my head. "Please don't kill Marik, Angel," I whispered pleadingly. "This is my fault, all my fault...I gave into temptation and it's my fault, not Marik's. Punish me instead, please..."
There was a silence between us. I nervously held his ankles in my arms, resting my head on his shoes. Finally, after what seemed like eons, my Angel slowly bent down towards me. His hand gently slithered underneath my chin, and forced me to look up. I raised my eyes, tear-stained and leaking pathetically over my face. His clear red ones looked back down at me from his half mask. I slowly raised my hand and gently touched his bare cheek.
"I'm so sorry, Angel..." I whispered. "I should've never...never taken off your mask..."
My Angel closed his eyes, and his hand slowly came to cup mine. His face still held a pained expression, but the terrible fury I first saw was slowly ebbing away, despite his apparently strong hold to keep it installed in his heart. He opened his eyes at me, and glared at me in such a warningly way I had to stop caressing his cheek, for fear I was upsetting him.
"If you haven't, you would've been living in an illusion," he said simply. He shoved my hand away from his face, except it was not harsh, not meant to be very mean. "Therefore, stop calling me Angel..." he said to me. "...I was your Angel. But no more. Just call me Bakura."
I shook my head, more tears trickling down my cheeks. I slipped my hand away and returned to hugging his ankles.
"No," I whispered. "You...you were my Angel and you still are. I will...still remain faithful...no matter what. Just please..." I clutched his ankles again. "Please stop frightening me."
I heard my Angel sigh, and he shook his head.
"I'm afraid that cannot be done," he said somberly. "Hush now, little one..." He slipped his hand under my chin and made me look at him again. "Do not cry anymore. I am still angry, but I have forgotten how little it takes to frighten you." He slowly caressed my wet cheek and brushed away my tears. "...As for your wedding?" he said suddenly, his voice abruptly very hard.
I swallowed hard and mournfully looked back down on the floor.
"I cancelled it," I whispered.
Angel nodded, and resumed stroking my cheeks. "Good Little Ryou," he cooed at me. "That's a very good first step. But I cannot let this disappointment go away so easily. There are many illusions that I can create, but this unfortunately..." My Angel stood, and suddenly he resumed that hard, stern posture that he had had when he first taught me how to defend myself. "Stand up, Ryou," he commanded me.
I quickly stumbled to my feet, knowing that I had to accept my deserved punishment. I felt no regret; merely fear as to what it would be, and guilt that I had done so many things to upset my Angel.
"Will this be...a new slate?" I asked weakly. "I...I'll remain faithful to you ...once more...I ...I'm only afraid because you frighten me so much..."
I heard him sigh and he turned away from me.
"As for frightening you, I'm afraid that there is nothing that can be done," he said grimly. "I've always been a rather frightening person." He turned back and looked at me briefly. "But I am ...I was the King of Thieves," he said quietly. "And you were not afraid of him. Why?"
I shivered and slowed down my steps, looking down back onto the floor. "He...he was misunderstood," I said weakly. "No one...no one deserved what he went through..."
I heard my Angel sigh again, and he tiredly looked away from me. "If you know the story, then there should be nothing of me that you should be afraid of," he said. "There would be nothing I should have to tell you."
He turned and looked at me again, and took the Ring from his neck. "Here," he said. "Touch it."
I looked at it hesitantly, unsure if this was my punishment. He thrust it again at me. "Touch it," he said again, much more harshly. "We will return to our soulroom, and there I shall deliver your punishment, do you understand?"
I nodded weakly. Closing my eyes, I hesitantly reached out my fingers, and brushed the Ring.
I knew he was lying to me. Well...I was at least certain some part of him was lying. Whether it be his love for me or his faith, I was not sure. I was leaning very confidentally towards his faith.
He was young, he was a hopeless little child, a fragile little porcelain doll that needed caring. All his life, he had grown in a sheltered world, protected with that wonderful angel of a father, who kept him, nourished him, never even spoke to him about pain or sadness, especially never related to the other wonderfully kind but deceased family members. I faintly realized that Marik could never truly love Ryou to his full potential; Ryou was like a glass doll, delicate and fragile. Although he was strong at heart, too much overwhelmed the poor child. He who loved Ryou would also have to play not only the lover, but the friend, the brother, and the father.
Was I truly too twisted to uphold all of that? Surely not. He loved the King of Thieves, did he not? Surely with enough time, he would come to love me too...
I had to remind myself that he was very confused in all of this; whoever his heart may belong to, it was now torn between the two monsters that fought so hard for it. I wasn't sure who was the worse monster: I, for punishing him when it was Marik that deserved death, or Marik, who was too blind to see that perhaps there was a wondrous chance for Ryou to have a chance with me?
Surely I. I, who dared to shut him away in that room for his punishment, cold, alone, and fearful that once again abadon him. I, who could not control my emotions of hatred and betrayal and bitter resentment to the memories that were replaying themselves once more. I, who dared to sit down at my organ and rape his beautiful body with my music, my organ, my lust and my want for him as he laid on that recliner, moaning helplessly and his screams pitching needily.
I wanted him! I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything else! I wanted that body to be mine, for my hand to be free to roam his skin, as we had the first night he met myface. I wanted that heart to be mine, that smile to look up at me...I wanted that soul, that precious soul to belong to me, to not be afraid of me...
I had already tried kindness, I had tried taking care of him, worshipping him beyond any other pedestal I had ever dared glanced on. And yet, something still went wrong, and my collasping mind could only think of one more way to make him mine: punishing him, instilling that Angel force and fear that he once took as divine justice. I cursed myself and hated myself for doing so, for hurting my precious Angel and making him cry...yes, making him sob softly in that cold room. After my agonized feat of music, I slumped onto my keyboard, utterly exhausted, and broke into silent tears.
Ryou, oh my Ryou...the gods are so merciless to do this to us...
I was sorry, truly sorry for having to punish him so terribly. I could not go back into that room too quickly. I had to regain myself, to stop my feverous tears and the memories that began to chaoticly swirl in my dark and dank and terrifying soul room.
I had to hear him stop crying first, before I could.
I was afraid. Very afraid. He had left me in a room, cold, lonely, and he had taken away my sweater, leaving me with only my under shirt and my jeans. I nervously sat myself onto the couch, wondering how terrible my punishment truly would be, when I heard the organ beginning to play.
It was such ...terrifyingly strong music. It seemed to possesss my ears and made me crave for their notes like a ravenous drug addict, needing more, more and more. I whimpered in confusion when my hands seemed to have a mind of their own, beginning to roam around my body on their own accord. The music began to grow louder, and my chests, throat, and groin were growing warmer and warmer. Crying weakly, I curled up into a ball to stop these feelings, but it did not help.
My nipples began to peak behind my shirt, and my fingers managed to relieve my chest of the material. The music coaxed me, massaged my sides and drove me insane with passion. My head grew dizzy, and my body grew very warm, warmest of all areas were my groin and my quickly awakening arousal. I pressed my knees together to stop it, but it did not help.
As the music began to climb higher into a mighty crescendo, I found myself spreading my legs against my will, kicking away my jeans and finally leaving myself bare in the room. A flush of shame surged to my cheeks as my fingers found themselves against my nipples and began to tweak them hesitantly. When the music began to emphasize a bite of a note, my fingers would stay in tune with it, and against my own will, they twisted my nipples brutally with the music, and I could not stop myself from crying out in forced pleasure.
I began to sweat and cry at the same time, so shaken by the way my body was reacting so harshly to the music. My knees quivered, and my how body was beginning to shake in the coldness of the room. I tossed from side to side on the recliner to ease my distress, but it only served to add spike to the hot area between my legs. I grabbed my knees and held them there, crying uncontrollably, but the music dipped down again and swept back out, forcing my hands to slither from my knees and to spread my thighs. There, the fingers began to slither up my inner thighs, before resting at the core of this whole terrible mess.
I sobbed as I began to do something so shamefulI had to curl up into a ball to not think of it. The music grew very loud, now attacking and receding, attacking and receding, forcing me to buck my hips into my tunneled hands and force my way through. I tried to keep my hands away,I tried to ride the air, but my Angel had been right. I had no self control while he was at that organ...with his music, he possessed me, in every way. I was his, no matter what.
I sobbed again and shook my head, my cheeks so red and my nipples pink. The music reached an almighty explosion of lust, and screaming to the skies, I released myself of my terrible burden, riding the rest of the downhill crescendo, until the music slowly began to fade away. My hips weakly fell back to the recliner, and I fell, exhausted, onto my back. Shivering and whimpering, regaining my senses and my motor control, I slowly turned to my side, and curled up into a ball.
The music faded, and all I could hear was my wretched crying.
I forgot how long it was before I heard my Angel slowly slip into my room. By then, I was too exhausted, shivering weakly and still crying. I felt him slowly sink onto the recliner, and silently, he slowly took off his cape and draped it across my naked body. I sobbed again and buried myself under it. I was afraid...still so very afraid...the immense power that he held over my body and how I controlled it...I was so afraid!
He didn't touch me, not in any comforting way, but he did brush my tears away. He said nothing as I turned to him to dry my tears. I cried, cried and cried, shaking my head and pleading that I would never have to go through that again. He hushed me softly, and gently placed my head on his lap. Iwept myself to sleep, wrapped in his cloak.
Sometime in the night, however, I woke up. I dare not move, but I realized something. My Angel...my tender Angel...my strict yet tender Angel...my scary yet loving Angel...His head, it was resting on mine, and his hand, gloveless now, was stroking my hair with such regretful air that I felt his sorrow in my own heart.
I dared not return to sleep after that. I wanted to cherish the tender moments with my Angel. Even if it meant I needed to share some tears too.
Cause when I woke up, I had found the Phantom of the Sennen Ring...his head on top of mine, and his arms rocking me so tenderly...I found him crying as he held me, and whispering apologies that he didn't have to make.
This scene was mostly to just...rebridge that gap that Ryou loved Bakura. This scene was also based on that one part in Phantom when Christine was wearing a wedding dress and Phantom wanted to rape her, but instead, told her to lock and bolt her room door, and he raped her with music, as he said. Plus, for those who weren't expecting the sudden Malik/Bakura-ness, this chapter was to re-establish Bakura and Ryou's love.
Ryou's love may still look a bit skeptical at this point, but you guys have to realize that he's very confused right now. Marik is his childhood lover, but he doesn't love him as much as he loves Bakura. He loves Bakura far more, as a soul mate, but Bakura and his temper scares Ryou, and Ryou doesn't know if he can trust Bakura. Simply because Marik seemed more stable (ahahahahhaahha) Ryou chose to marry Marik...that and Bakura wasn't there at the time, Ryou never thought he was going to get that proposal. But now that Bakura is back, Ryou thinks it's better to call off the engagement...maybe learn a bit more about Bakura and hopefully, maybe he, Bakura and Marik can all eventually coome to some nice happy conclusion.
Hahahahahhha, as if, Ryou. Dream on, dearie, dream on.
Please read and review!