First off, NO FLAMES PLEASE! If you don't like the story, then don't review. My weak heart cannot take the abuse of flamers.
I do not own Naruto nor will I ever…I do wish that I did though!
There will probably be some grammar mistake so don't hate me for it, please.
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Please note- In this fic, the entire rookie 9 are 17 years old.
This is dedicated to insanely-normal. I hope you like it!
Why? – Chapter One
You look so happy today, my love. Your whole body is glowing with love. Your stomach is rounded with child and your heart is filled with joy. I know that the baby will be loved unconditionally once he or she comes out.
I love that smile of yours. Every time I see your smile, my heart flutters. I just love the way a small dimple would appear on your right cheek, making you appear innocent and sweet. I just love the way your eyes sparkle when you smile. I just love the way you radiate warmth when your smile is directed towards me.
I always feel loved every time I'm around you.
I wonder what the baby will look like. Would the baby look more like its beautiful mother, or more like its robust father? Everyone is betting that the baby will look like you.
How I wish I could be with you twenty-four hours a day, but I cannot. I have duties as an ANBU, I have extensive training that I cannot ignore, and for my most number one reason I cannot be with you always is because you belong to someone else.
You, the love of my life, belong to another.
I remember the days we were together, so much laughter and love that there was no time for tears. I remember how we just sit next to each other with no words, yet we felt so comfortable and relax. Those were the times I cherished most in my life. I had everything, yet I was still unhappy. The day I was promoted to ANBU, I felt different. That was the day I figured I could have so much more.
That was the day I left you.
I remember that day so clearly. The sky was cloudy and it sprinkled a little on top of us. You and I, we sat in our most favorite spot…the fountain in the village square. We always went there in the middle of the night were we could be alone. Now that I think about it, I don't know why I chose that place for my life changing decision.
I remember how you smiled while speaking about what we would do on your birthday that was a week away, but I stayed quiet, watching the water move in the fountain beside us.
I remember how I told you it was over, as I didn't even look at you.
I remember how the warmth or your hand left mine a few seconds later. It was quiet, so quiet. There was silence that I knew would be there and this time we wouldn't feel comfortable with it like we usually do.
I remember you asking why in the soft voice of yours.
I didn't have an answer.
You kept on trying to talk to me, but I just ignored you. After about an hour, I realized that your voice stopped. Looking over, I saw nothing. I didn't even notice you leaving my side.
I kept on telling myself that it was for the best. I wasn't happy being just with you and I knew I needed more. I knew that you would be better off without me, but first you needed to forget me.
Maybe that was why I kept on ignoring you. Maybe that was why I wouldn't allow us to be friends. You wanted to be close to me, but I didn't want anything to do with you.
Every time you wanted to talk to me, I would just turn and walk away. Everyday after that you would do the same thing and everyday I would just walk away. This kept on going for months.
After reaching ANBU, I thought that I needed the best, that I deserved that best in the world. I thought that I deserved the most beautiful girl and the greatest riches. At the time, I never connected these things to you.
I went out with gorgeous women, yet you still tried to talk to me. I kissed them and held them in front of you, yet you still tried to get close to me. I couldn't take it. I couldn't take you.
So I made love to one of the girls, knowing that you would spot us. I saw you there behind the trees. I saw how your eyes widen and how you covered your mouth with your tiny hands. I saw how your pearl eyes glistens with unshed tears. I saw how you walked away. That was the day you stopped trying to get close to me.
That was the day you never talked to me ever again.
I was rid of you. I thought that now I would be able to find what I was looking for. I went out with millions of women, yet I didn't feel anything for them. The feeling I had before was still there, but the unhappiness I felt with you was small. With the others it felt unbearable.
I find myself thinking of you when I'm with the other girls. I kept on remembering all the good times and none of the bad, since we never had any bad times before we broke up.
It didn't hit me until a few weeks later. The reason that I wasn't happy wasn't because of you, but of me. I held myself back from you, not letting myself to love you fully and that is why I was unhappy.
I realized now that you are special. You are a gift from above that I foolishly gave away.
I remember when I went in search of you. I wanted for you to forgive me and maybe give each other another chance at love. Although it has been a year since you talked to me, I still wanted to take the chance that maybe you would still come back to me.
I found you at the same place that we use to come to long ago…the fountain.
You weren't alone.
Did it hurt you this much when you saw me with the other girls? Did you feel like your heart was ripped right off of your chest? Did you feel empty as well?
I stood there hidden in the shadows watching you hug and kiss this other man in front of me. You, making new memories with him at the same place that meant the world to me.
At first I thought that you did this out of spite, but then I saw what laid on your left hand.
It was a large diamond engagement ring along side a simple silver wedding ring.
That's when I realized that you moved on the day you walked away from me. That is when I realized that I lost you for good. That is when I realized that I lost the best thing that ever happened to me.
I guess what they say is true. You never know what you had until it's gone.
You walked away with him, never even noticing that I was watching you the whole time. My eyes followed your retreating form, watching as his arm circled around your small waist.
I remember when I use to be able to hold you like that. It made me feel strong. It made me feel like an able protector for you. Who knew that I would be the one to hurt you the most?
As time moves on, I saw you grow older, lovelier, wiser and everything else in between. I saw you grow round with child. I saw how you played with your children with so much loving care. I saw how you giggled every time your husband nuzzled his nose behind your ear. I saw how you blush every time he would whisper forbidden words in your ears. I saw how much in love you are with him.
Can life get any worst for me?
You have four strong, intelligent, handsome sons now. Maybe your next child will be a girl who looks just like you, another little, beautiful Hinata whom no man will ever be worthy of just like her mother.
If I had to chose one thing that I regretted the most in my tragic life, it is that I was foolish enough to let you slip from my fingers.
You gave the one thing I wanted the most in my life to another and I have no one to blame but me.
So live happily Hinata. Live happily so that you can erase all the pain you had in your whole life. Erase the pain that I caused you. Live and never let go of your love like I did.
These past eight years without you have been hard and painful but I just can't stop watching you and loving you from afar.
Maybe one day I can move on.
Sadly, I always ask myself the same questions everyday. Why did I push her away? Why did I not speak to her afterwards? Why did I hurt her so much that she would never return to me?
NOTE: Can you guys guess who it is? I love writing fics like these. It leaves you to actually think for yourselves on who it is. I hope all of you like it!
Did you guys notice my new name? I actually like it! It took me forever to pick a new name for myself. The whole Cookie6 penname became pretty old real quick. This is the first time I changed it.
I'll try to update my other fics as soon as I can. I promise!
Thanks for reading! Review please!