Hermione Popped in one of her Weird Al CD's and started to sing along while she took out her pastels and started to draw a picture of Ginny and Draco sleeping on her bed, When Draco started to move around, waking from the music, Hermione spoke up making him jump. "Please don't move Draco, I'm almost done..." he looked at her and shrugged before laying back down the way he was. Once Hermione was finished he came over to see what it looked like, he smirked, "You like me that much muddy that you had to draw me? I know I'm irresistible."
" 'Raco shudup, leab 'Mione 'lone." Ginny mumbled, waking up. Hermione slapped Draco lightly on his arm and put everything away. Once she was done she sat down at the window seat with her coffee and a muffin, Ginny joined her with her own food, neither of them spoke they just looked at each other and ate, Draco walked out and saw that and was confused, "What in the hells goin on…why aren't you two speaking?"
Hermione looked over, "We are speaking…one doesn't need words to talk. Try it sometime." Hermione looked back over at Ginny and started to stare again. Draco shook his head and walked over to Hermione's CD player wondering where the weird music is coming from. Hermione saw what he was doing, and not wanting him to break anything, she jumped up and joined him. "Don't touch anything!" Draco jumped away from it. "This…is a CD player, its muggle. It plays music…muggle music. Right now I have Weird Al Yankavic in...He does parody's of music. This one just starting is actually one I really like…" Hermione starts to sing along to the song that just started.
I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out. Hermione walks over to Draco and looks him up and down. I like your Skeletal Structure baby; you're an ectomorfe(SP?) no doubt. Your Face is real symmetrical and your nostrils are so nicee, I wish I was cross-eyed girl (boy) so I could see you twice…Draco gapes at her. Girl (Boy) you smell like freeto's, that's why I'm giving you this hungry stare. Your so hot, your gonna melt the elastic in my underwear. Hermione Snaps her undies and grins. I bet you're magically delicious like a bowl of lucky charms. You look like Venis to Milo, if I just cut off your arms! What I'm tryin to say is, I wanna be your lover baby, I need somebody to love. You know I just wanna be your lover baby, now I need somebody to love. Woo hoo hoo, Woo hoo hoo. Hermione and Ginny starts to dance together giggling. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. Stop drop and roll now, cause baby your on fire. Hermione walks in front of Draco and rubs her hands all over his clothes; I bet your outfit makes a lot of noise in the dryer. Your absolutely perfect, don't speak now (She places her fingers on his lips to keep him mouth shut.) you might spoil it. Your eyes are even bluer then the water in my toilet. I say has anyone told you, you've got ugaslovean (spelling?) hands? No of course not, that would be stupid, forget I even brought it up, what I'm tryin to say is…I wanna be your lover baby, I need somebody to love. You know I just wanna be your lover baby, now I need somebody to love. Woo hoo hoo, Woo hoo hoo. I wanna be your crackatole (?) Let my lava flow all over you. I wanna be your anaconda, and your heat seeking missile too. I wanna be your beef burrito, girl am I makin this perfectly clear…I wanna be your love torpedo, are you pickin the subtle innuendos here ah huh! I hope I'm not being forward, but do you mind if I chew on your butt? Hermione makes a biting motion at Draco's ass and he got scared for it and sat down. You can tell me truthfully, am I a steaming hunk of love now or what? There just aren't enough bowls and spoons to describe how smooth I am. Baby you've seen my picture, its under the dictionary under KABLAM! Hermione shows a book and opens it, right there in big letters is the word Kablam, and right beside It is a picture of Hermione winking and snapping her fingers then pointing at Draco. My lips are registered weapons. Can I invade your personal space? Hermione sits in his lap and rubs her hands up his chest. You must of fallen from heaven, that would explain how you messed up your face. Hermione flicks his nose. Well, how'd you get through security, cause baby you're the bomb! Id like to take you home right now so you could meet my mom because I wanna be your lover baby, I need somebody to love. You know I just wanna be your lover baby, now I need somebody to love. Girl you must be Jamakin, because Jamakin me crazy. Girl you must be Jamakin, because Jamakin me crazy.
Girl you must be Jamakin, because Jamakin me crazy. Hermione and Ginny fell onto Hermione's bed giggling at the look on Draco's face.
"That is my favorite song. How'd you two like it?" Hermione asked. Ginny was laughing to hard to say anything, Draco got up and walked over and leaned down to whisper in Ginny's ear. Ginny started to laugh harder and Draco tried to look innocent. "What did you say!"
"What did you say!"
"I asked if she wanted me to be her Anaconda or her heat seeking missile."
"Oh, ok." Hermione closes her eyes and cuddles up next to Ginny. Ginny closes her eyes too and stokes Hermione's back.
"So Hermione, are you ok…you know…after last night?" Ginny murmurs.
"Truthfully? No. but shit happens, what am I going to do about it? Nothing I can do. OH! I forgot about Crab and Goyle. I suppose we should let them out." They go back down to the big room where Hermione dropped the jar. She picked it up and made the boys life-size again but they got hurt cause she hadn't taken them outta the jar and they are…of course to big for it. The boys were passed out so Hermione levitated them into the study with Voldermort and Lucious. "Hello Grandpa Morty, I can call you that right? Good. These boys are why I had joined the meeting yesterday…forget about the meeting Hermione. But they had started to try to rape me; I was bringing them to you. I want to see if you will talk to your men, no more raping! If they need to fuck there are whores. Whores don't usually talk if they get a good fee. And you grandpa Morty have more then enough cash. Also grandpa we need to talk, why are you going after muggles? What have they done to you?"
"Nothing, I'm not going after muggles. The so called 'Muggles' that we kill aren't really muggles. And any that are, were killed by Dumbledore not us. As for why we kill the Wizards-in-costumes, they kill us. Your Grandmother was killed by James Potter, his wife was brainwashing my kids while potter killed my wife then he took her wonderful necklace and gave it to Dumbledore…why do you think Dumbledore made sure you met Harry and everyone and made you join the order and everything."
"So you're saying that everything I worked for, for the past 7 years…8 if you count time turner…has been a sham…I am 19 years old in September. And I just now find out that I have been working for the wrong side." Hermione shook her head and walked out of the room leaving everyone behind. Draco looked at voldermort and opened his mouth but before he could say anything Ginny said something first, "she's 19!"
"Yes Ginny, she is. Her birthday is in September so she would be 18 but then she used the time turner all year in 3rd year and part of the year in 4th year so she is a year older then that, she's 19. You two go find her and make sure she ok." Ginny and Draco nodded and left the room.
Hermione twisted a blade of grass and looked up at the sky thinking to herself, 'so the bad vibes I've gotten off of all the teachers have been right? The only one I hadn't gotten a bad vibe from and should have was Snape…oh Snape…spy…shit…I need to tell Morty sometime.' Hermione broke her thoughts off and turned over going to sleep.
Draco walked out into the backyard and there by the creak was Hermione sleeping. Draco walked over to her and sat down next to her, he looked down at her face. Draco brushed a bit of hair away and then rubbed his thumb over her lips, when he removed his thumb her mouth opened, Draco leaned down at kissed her mouth lightly, just as his tongue touched her mouth her eyes opened and she deepened the kiss even though she was surprised. When they broke apart for air she looked at Draco weird. "Why'd you do that?"
"I didn't do anything, it was you imagination, I wouldn't ever kiss a mud-blood." With that he got up and walked away, Hermione jumped up and ran over to him, she slapped his face hard. "What the fuck! Granger! What was that for?"
"One, I May be a mud-blood, But I am related to your fathers best friend and you don't see him as a mud-blood do you? Two, Call me mud-blood again and I will cut off your balls and feed them to you. Stay away from me Malfoy or so help me Morty (one would say god but seeing as most of them think their god is voldermort…you get it?) I will hurt you so bad your Ferret children will feel it." With that Hermione snapped her fingers and turned Draco into a ferret again and ran back into the house, Draco looked around worried, then when he saw a cat coming towards him he scampered into the house and up to Hermione's room to ask her to change him back.
He was running in thehouse when all of a sudden a Broom came slapping down barely missing him, screaming he ran faster knowing that it was a house elf. Draco was fast, but not fast enough as a house elf caught him and brought him into the kitchen, the house elf started to speak, "Lucky you, Miss Hermione said she wanted a live ferret to be cooked for her dinner, she said to Lupa, Lupa no store bought Ferret! Has to be a live ferret, then she says to Lupa, she says Lupa, I think I saw a ferret outside you can use, watch out he may come into the house. Miss Hermione told me to use this baking pot of hers."
Lupa put Draco into the pot and put the clear lid on, picking up the pot and bringing him to the oven, Draco saw that the temp was 400 and started to panic, closing his eyes and huddling into a ball he started to whimper, after about 10 min he opened his eyes, the pot was warm but he wasn't cooking like he would think, instead it was a nice temp in the pot, after about an hour like this he fell down to look like he was cooked and waited for the lid to open, as soon as it did he jumped out and scampered out of the room without the house elves seeing, he ran up to Hermione's room, as soon as he saw her he started to scream. "YOU COOKED ME?" Hermione started to laugh hard and waved her hand so he was human again and as soon as he was back to normal he started to laugh with her.
Hermione and Draco and Ginny sat down to dinner with Morty and Lucious, as soon as everyone was eating peacefully Hermione looked up, "Grandpa….did you know Snape was a spy?" Morty looked up at Hermione surprised.
"Mia baby, He is a double spy, He is a spy for me acting like a spy for Dumbledore." Hermione gaped at Morty; Morty walked to the fireplace and wrote a quick note telling Snape to come over. They all settled down to eating again, when the flames grew green they all looked up, out stepped Snape, as soon as he saw Hermione he pulled out his wand and kept it pointing at her, "Sev, its ok. She knows that we are the good guys, and she's also my oldest grand-daughter and heir." At that Hermione looked over at him shocked.
"I'm your heir? What about Ginny, she has been working with you longer…"
"Well she gets a bit, but you are older my dear, and so you get the bulk." Hermione nodded and looked over at Ginny to make sure she's not mad. Ginny smiled at Hermione and then nodded towards Snape.
"So you're a spy for Morty here?" Snape nodded. Hermione nodded back and smiled.
Voldermort grinned and opened his mouth, "Won't you join us Severous?" Severous sat down next to Hermione and started to eat.
Hermione and Severous walked through the gardens outside, "So Professor Snape, Did I make it into the N.E.W.T.'s Potions?"
"Miss Granger, how could you not."
"Please call me Hermione."
"Well then I insist you call me Severous." Hermione giggled and started to Hum. They sat down on a swinging bench and looked up at the stars. A star shot across the sky and Hermione grinned. "It's a shooting star, make a wish with me." Hermione closed her eyes and moved her lips to form silent words. Snape glanced at her lips then looked away.
"I think, Hermione that its time to go." Hermione nodded and got up to walk with him back to the house.
"Don't fight… don't argue. Give me the chance to say that I'm sorry. Just let me love you (don't give up on me). Don't turn me away... don't tell me to go." Hermione sang softly as she washed her hair. As soon as the song was over Hermione just stood under the spray to think about what's happened in the past few days. As much as she hates to admit it, she missed her parents, they are idiots, but she loves them. Hermione sighed and stepped out of the shower, walking into her room she saw Morty going through her closet. Hermione wrapped the towel tighter around herself and walked fully into the room. "Hi grandpa, what are you doing?"
"I am picking out an outfit for you." Hermione gave him a confused look.
"Because you are joining my followers tonight along with Draco and Ginny.
A/N TA DA! 5 Pages! Whoop. Ill try to update soon and please review, I know this story is crappy.
First song was a weird al Yankavic song, not sure of the name.
Second bit of song is from Shania Twain's "Don't!"