Hogwarts Online
Chapter One: Welcome to Hogwarts Online
By Lizzy and Maggy Escritor

Attention All Hogwarts Students:

Courtesy of the Department of The Studies of Nonmagical Society of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy, a new computer program will be starting. This program will educate muggle-studies enrolled students, and any who sign up for the computer program, on the use of all things computer related: a reletively new technology invented by nonmagical people. Computers that have been constructed for this purpose will be set up in the library promptly. Muggle raised students may feel free to use this new technology right away, magically raised must complete one class before usage.

Professor Minerva McGonnagal, Assistant Headmistress.

Hermione grinned at the Gryffindor House Notice Board, her parents had bought her a computer the summer after her fourth year and she loved it. She was on her way to the library anway, it wouldn't hurt to take a look at these 'spcially constructed computers', now would it?

She opened the doors to the library and almost laughed out loud. The computers were the size of desks! Might as well give it a try though, right? She sat at one and moved the wand (instead of a mouse... odd) and the black screen flashed to a light purple.



Hermione thought about it. She wanted a name that said "Hello, I'm me," but one that didn't say, "Hello, I'm Hermione Granger, take my identity now." She settled on a rather pleasing...

NAME: Bkwrmhrm

A small smile played on lips as she finished her registration, the computer seemed to already know who she was, since the screen lit up with a 'Hello Miss Granger'. It had immediatly thrust her into a chat room entitled 'Hogwarts Online' and a subtitle of 'Helping Interhouse Relationships Form'.

Bkwrmhrm has entered the room.

Redgrl10: Hey, Hermione!

Bkwrmhrm: Am I really that obvious?

Redgrl10: Afraid So

Cnrycrme: Shh, you dont have 2 blow our entire cover! We r trying to be anonymous

Bkwrmhrm: You two quit school, why are you here?

Toffeetoung: Dumbly-door invited us to be chat monitors, splendid, is it not?

Rdgrl10: Now why would Dumbledore do such an idiotic thing as letting you two, the biggest pranksters Hogwart's has ever met, monitor our conversations and know wrong from right?

Cnrycrme: That is a good point, dear sister, but you seem to be forgetting one thing

Toffeetoung: we are older and more mature.

Bkwrmhrm: Age doesnt neccessarily mean wisdom.

Rdgrl10: Wisdom and Fred/George will never be used in the same sentence. Ever.

SerpetntTalk has entered the room

Cnrycrme: Remember what I said about anonymity

Rdgrl10: -ignores him-

Bkwrmhrm: Hello serpent!

SerpentTalk: Hello...

Rdgrl10: I think you scared him with your...happiness.

Cnrycrme: Who said serpent was a boy?

Toffeetoung: When you assume, you make an ass out ofU and me. And it's obvious which the cuter one is.

Bkwrmhrm: Well serpent, are you a boy or a girl (and if you are wise, you'll ignore Cnrycrme and Toffeetoung, they are just nuisances)

Cnrycrme: That has to be a violation of something.

Toffeetoung: Violation of elders!

Rdgrl10: You're only a year older then her!

Cnrycrme: We're still older, therefore we are your elders. BOW DOWN, YOUNGN, BWAHAHAHA!

SerpentTalk: Does it matter if Im a boy or girl?

Cnrycrme: Are you1 of those people

Toffeetoung: who are in the awkward stage

Cnrycrme: of being unable to

Toffeetoung: tell if you are boy or girl?

Bkwrmhrm: Ignore them. They're idiots. I don't think it matters, I was just curious.

Cnrycrme: Did she say ignore us? Is she mad?

Toffeetoung: Curiousity killed the cat, that it did.

Rdgrl10: So, Serpent, I'm guessing you're in Slytherin? Since the serpent is the slytherin symbol...

SerpentTalk: No one ever said that

ChdlyCnns has entered the room.

Chdlycnns: ...uh hi?

Toffeetoung: This will be interesting.

CnryCrme: Yes it shall. The anonymity of this chatroom is overwhelming, and I for one cannot wait until the masks are off, how about you, dear brother?

Chdlycnns: you sound so familiaar...

Toffeetoung: We should sound familiaar.

Cnrycrme: Familiaar people always feel familiaar to other familiaararities.

Chdlycnns: I didnt understand nething u just said

Cnrycrme: You owe me 5g Toffee, I told you he wouldnt understand

Rdgrl10: Serpent, youre not the chatting type R you?

Bkwrmhrm: I think this 'chat lingo' sounds atrocious.

Chdlycnns: Hey! U sound familiar 2!

Toffeetoung: It's good to know that Hogwart's hasn't affected your brain cells, Chdly. Your mum wouldn't be happy about that.

Chdlycnns: how do u no my mum!

Rdgrl10: HONESTLY!

SerpentTalk: I think I should go

Bkwrmhrm: No! I want to make new friends, thats the point of this chat, is it not?

Rdgrl10: You have loads of friends already

SerpentTalk: I don't have anything to talk about

Chdlycann: u can talk bout food. food is good.

Bkwrmhrm: Do you like Quidditch, Serpent?

Rdgrl10: Girls?

Toffeetoung: Boys?

Cnrycrmes: Both?

cdlycnns: food?

SeprpentTalk: I love quidditch and girls, and like food when I'm hungry

Rdgrl10: thats my kinda man! ...you are a man,right?

chdlycnns: Wut is this, dating connection?

Rdgrl10: Of course not, but it could become that

Bkwrmhrm: Favorite posistion?

SerpentTalk: Seeker

Cnrycrmes: I think even chdly could find a girlfriend online but then again...he is rather pathetic

chdlycnns: hey! u dont even no me!

CnryCrmes: ...I shall not reply to chdly until he takes some typing lessons. Honestly, how hard can it be?

Bkwrmhrm: Favorite class?

Toffeetoung: Thats bkwrm for you, always bringing up classes...

SerpentTalk: Thats a hard one, I guess...I would say DADA but we haven't really had any good teachers...Charms, I like charms.

Bkwrmhrm: very good choice. And I agree, we haven't had any good DADA teachers... Least favorite class?

Hermione snorted at how fast he responded.

SerpentTalk: Potions.

Bkwrmhrm: Not a fan of Snape, I see?

SerpentTalk: Snape is an overbearing bat

Bkwrmhrm: I suppose he could be seen as that

SerpentTalk has invited you to join him in a private chat

Bkwrmhrm has accepted

SerpentTalk: You actually accepted

Bkwrmhrm: Of course I did, so, what year are you in?

SerpentTalk: 6th year, you?

Bkwrmhrm: Same here! So, are you on your house's Quidditch team?

SerpentTalk: I don't think I'll tell...and in case you didn't notice, I'm trying to be mysterious

Hermione snorted.

Bkwrmhrm: Oh, is that what you were trying to be?

SerpentTalk: Oh yeah, so...are you muggle born?

Bkwrmhrm: Does it matter?

SerpentTalk: No...just curious.

Bkwrmhrm: That's quite a random question to ask, don't you think?

SerpentTalk: Not really, only people who were muggle raised or already had a class can use these computers so..

Bkwrmhrm: Does that mean you're a muggle-born, or that you take muggle studies?

SerpentTalk: I did take muggle studies, not anymore. I'm not really muggle born either.

Bkwrmhrm: That really explains things...

SerpentTalk: Well, it's kind of hard to explain, you see...

Just then, the bell that meant class was starting rang. Hermione sighed and glanced at the computer.

Bkwrmhrm: Listen, thats the bell...

SerpentTalk: I heard.

SerpentTalk sent you a friend request.

SerpentTalk has left the conversation.

Hermione ignored the random fluttering feeling in her stomache and walked off to class.

"Hermione, there you are, it's about time!" Ron said, tapping his foot. "Where were you?"

"The library. Where's Harry?"

"I don't know, I haven't seen him either. And when are you going to quit going to that blasted library?"

"Did you see the computers? Don't you think they're fun?" she said excitedly.

"About as fun as a blast-ended skrewt..." he muttered. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"You're just upset because you can't type if your life depended on it."

Ron blushed. "Well what's so great about them anyway?"

"You can play games, read, learn new things...meet new people..."

Suddenly, Harry came rushing in, out of breath. "I swear that Muggle Studies room is way too far away..."

"Why were you in Muggle Studies, Harry?" Ron asked. "I thought you didn't take it anymore."

"I don't, I wanted to see what the buzz was about all those computers. Quite fun."

"Fun my arse!" Ron growled, "I went to go check them out, the chat monitors are nutters."

Hermione felt a smile tug on her lips, "Oh? You were chatting?"

"Yeah, at first there was only about six of us in there -"

"Wow, Ron! You can count!" Harry chuckled, taking a seat in the back.

"Shut it. Anyway, then book-something and snake-whatever went off to have a snog or something," Ron went on excitedly, Hermione felt her cheeks burn, she knew who he was talking about, "And...I swear...like a hundred people began coming into the chat! This one girl kept private messaging me..."

"So you do like the computers." Hermione stated.

"No, you didn't let me finish. The one who kept messaging turned out to be '


R-K-N-S-O-N.' Guess she didn't know it was me, but bloody hell, it freaked me out."

Hermione and Harry were in a fit of giggles, Hermione's were nervous, however.

"Were you there, Herms?" Harry asked, smiling innocently.

"Oh, no, I was, uuh...on the internet, looking up, um, books. You know."

Harry looked a bit put-out, but nodded. "Yeah, I was looking at a Quidditch website."

"Well, although we all care dearly what you were searching on the computers, I think it's time for Transfiguration, don't you?" Proffessor Mcgonnagal said, tapping her foot by her desk. Harry, Hermione, and Ron all walked in the room slowly. If Hermione had her way, she'd stay on the computer forever and talk to SerpentTalk forever. Little did she know someone else was thinking the same way about her.

Classes went by exceptionally slow, even for Hermione. For her, classes were nothing but review, seeing as she had memorized her text books front to back. When finally the last class of the afternoon ended, she breathed out a sigh of relief.

Practically sprinting to the library, she took a seat at an empty computer and logged on.


You have: 1 New E-mail Message.

Hermione smiled and clicked "read."

Hi, Bkwrm. I think I want to get to know you better, everyone else seems to be complete air heads. Can we be penpals?...er...Netpals?...Chatbuddies? Whatever you call it...


Hermione grinned wider and replied;

Dear Serpent,

I'd love to be your netpal/penpal/chatbuddy. You seem interesting, too, and I was hoping you'd ask. Write back soon,


Ps: One of the best ways to get to know each other is if we exchange names.

Almost immediately she got a reply:

Names? Oh...well okay...you can...call me James.


Hermione frowned, she had the odd feeling he wasn't being truthful there, well if thats the way he wanted to play then fine.

Dear James,

Thats a splendid name. Mine is Jane. Tell me a bit about yourself.


She smiled at her middle name, it'd be best this way. Most people in the school knew her name because of her adventures with Harry and Ron.

Specific questions, maybe? There's way too much to say in one email.

- James

Okay then, what color are your hair and eyes?


Green and black, yours?


I'm guessing it's green eyes and black hair, but you never know. Brown and brown. What's your favorite color?


Green, go figure...I'm might fond of red and gold as well...


Is that your subtle way of saying 'I'm in Gryffindor?' Mine is scarlet.


So I am subtle, I knew it. Have any secrets you wouldn't tell any of your friends in real life?


That was quite random. But yes, I do. It's kind of...retarded. In a nutshell, I'm more worried as I appear to be, and all the books and parchments couldn't fix my fears.


Fears of what?


Only my friends would know that. Not that you're not my friend, but we just met. So how about you, any secrets you'd like to share with me?


You act as if I could actually ruin your rep in the school..I'd need a last name for that. Yes, I have many secrets...for one: I really don't like the dark, its not a petrifying fear or anything, but I wouldn't mind if it were day all the time. I also have a crush on a close friend of mine.


Oh, really? And who's the lucky lady?


Hermione sighed. Well, maybe if she couldn't have a crush on him, at least she could help him hook up.

I can't tell you, rumors spread to fast, but I can tell I need to get over her, I can't date her.


And why can't you date her? Is she taken? If it's because you have low self-esteem, that's ridiculous, and you should give her a chance.


Low self esteem? Maybe it's a little low, but that isn't the reason. She's not taken either...well not really...my best friend does have a crush on her though, and everyone says she likes him too. I don't want to ruin our friendship either...if things didn't work out and she wasn't my friend anymore...it would ruin me.


That's sweet. Not the part about her liking your other friend, but about you not being her friend anymore. She must be really special.

(If only Harry or Ron felt that way about me, she thought to herself.)

But back to the point. You should make sure she says she likes him too. Like you said, rumors spread too fast. And if she does like him, I'm sure there's someone out there for you.


That sounds like good advice Jane, I hope I'm more subtle with her in real life then I am with you online. Er..dinner is about to start...so...I'll chat with you later? After homework and all that.


Okay, James, have a nice dinner. Hope it's not something gross!

- Jane

SerpentTalk has signed off.

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