Which to choose? Or is there really a choice?

Why is it that just when things are finally going my way that the shit hit's the fan? Did I piss somebody off in another life that is seeking retribution for a past transgression? Or is this the Navy's idea of revenge for being who I am and doing what I do, or did, back at NIC?

Fucking politics and bureaucratic bullshit.

Why is the Navy so threatened by me? What did I ever do to them except challenge their tiny little male brains with the thought that a woman can do everything that a man can do?…well almost everything….can't piss standing up but that isn't the end of the world…kind of disgusting anyway.

Since when am I a lesbian anyway? Is going to the beach with a group of fellow female officers any different then a group of male officers going to a bar or a beach or wherever it is that they go to get away from the stresses of life on the base?

Hypocrites each and every one of them. They touch each others asses in football games, shower together and compare dick sizes without being labelled as homosexuals but get a group of women sitting around on a beach smoking and drinking beer…When I find out who knew that I was going to be at that beach they are going to wish that they never heard of me. I've heard that I'm a force to be reckoned with…an unstoppable force of nature that's me. Gees this drive is so boring…scenery always the same on the road…but that'll change once I get back home…the lake is always different every time I look out my windows…home…didn't think that I would be back here this soon. My small lakefront house…my haven in dark times such as these when it seems all is lost and I am lost in limbo…my quiet street…my wonderful neighbours always ready to lend a helping hand…and my boyfriend trying to be domestic…who would have thought that he knew what a wrench was.

"Hey."

"Hey. I couldn't get the gas back on."

Correction my mechanically challenged boyfriend is trying to be domestic…well at least he looks so cute when he's sheepish. I suppose that the least I could do is play the helpless emotional female to make him feel better…poor baby.

"There was a time that I wanted you to fail. But only so that I could have you back here…safe and all to myself. But you'd be hell to live with."

That's for damn sure. He's such a sap. Not to mention a sucker for a female in distress. Whatever is a woman to do when her man is trying and failing to be macho and tough. Love him or dump him…wonder which I'll choose in the end?