I had not meant this to be anything but an speculation on Roy's part. My facts can and probably really off but then again, facts? What Facts? Same goes to Spoilers, I only seen like the first half of FMA and none of the manga but my only comprehension of FMA is what I read online. Pathetic, ain't it?
It's not hard, he recalls, to remember everything that happened to him these last years. He remembers it all with such clarity.
His first flame.
His first love.
His first kill.
His first time.
His first promotion.
His first everything.
He remembers and broods. It's the forgetting part that is hard. He can't forget even if he wants to. It's his punishment among many others.
His first day of seeing the people he burned up close.
His first surge of guilt.
His first scorching of innocents.
His first murder of a child.
His first time regretting.
His first time he had no choice.
He holds his memories to his heart and black soul. Who else but he could remember and grieve all the things he have done. They were like the scars on his back, reminders of darker days past and soon to come.
His killing of two innocent doctors.
His first urge to kill himself.
His first realization on how damned he was.
His first thought of desertion.
His first dream to change the world.
His goal to change everything.
It's dark days again. War started anew and he was back on the battlefront. He lost count of how many days it had been since he seen peace. Now it was a mere wisp of hope and illusion.
His first meeting with the Elrics.
The day he met death in the face of an Ishvarian survivor.
The death of a beloved friend.
He can't say he seen it all, he hasn't but he remembers. His dream hadn't died, not with his friend. It only grew stronger with that death. His memories shaped him into what he is now. They are his tourniquet and oath.
He does not forget, he can't. He can't if he still wishes to change the world. It's still his goal and he isn't alone. He has people he can trust even if he gets on their nerves more often not.
They want to change the world and he promises to give it to them. He has to. He needs to, for his sake and the world's. Change is the only way to redemption in his eyes and it is the same in theirs. Why else would they follow him if it were an empty dream?
Change cannot wait, not anymore. He and every one else that believes in him knows that. War may be inevitable but peace for more than a decade is only an elusive dream now. He wants to change that.
He can't say that he is not corrupted. His memories already did that. It shows in his dark, hidden soul, the soul behind the indifferent aloof mask. The world is not without its corruption. No being is exempted from that fate. He isn't as corrupted as many others he had known. He has his flaws and his faults but that is what makes him him.
Corruption by superiors and his experiences in his past made him into what he was. He can't say that he is fortunate but he is somewhat thankful for it. It helped him realize his dream and goal in life. His mockeries and jokes only lay within them an ulterior motive. He will corrupt many others and he knows this but the world is not without its corruption. He cannot say he is not sorry for what he had and will do to reach his goal.
Sometimes it is corruption that can save the world. It helps some realize the truth of the world but that truth is always changing. His corruption is in his memories. It is his curse and his blessing. All blessings and curse are such in that way. For every good thing there is always something bad with it.
Black and white.
Death and Life.
Innocent and Corrupted.
Murder and Mercy.
The world is always a contradiction but that is one of the reasons he wants to change it. He can't change the drastic but he knows that he can change the subtleties that lay in the framework. He can make the world a better place. He has to.
His memories shaped him into what he is.
His corrupted memories will help him.
He is after all, Roy Mustang.
Flame Alchemist, Optimistic Idealist, Sadistic Extraordinaire.
He will however burn you to a crisp if you get on his nerves too much.
Edward Elric is a perfect example.
He stayed crispy for a good 24 hours.
Don't try to sabotage his dates or his violin.
It is death by flame broiling.
You'd be lucky to have ashes left for a urn.
To think he wants to be Fuhrer one day.
Please review. Oh and the Roy and violin thing? I just like Roy playing the violin and piano which will pop up in my next story that I'm working on. But anyway please review. I want to know how good this is because I'm putting this as one of my entries to my school's Anime Club writing contest. Review, please and all flames will be gratefully donated to the burning of every single piece of clothing Roy has. U