I, evil genius Dr. Jumba Jookiba, write this with my own hand to Kweltiwaan and the tribe of Jookiba:
Kweltiwaan has always been being an agricultural simplistic planet. I wanted more than to be simple grower of vegetables and grain. You, the tribe, told me, "You want to be learned? Be diplomat." When you found out I was being a man of science you shunned me. You had Midvyet Tiplo, the only female who had ever loved me for who I was being, switched so that I would end up marrying her sister; Babayaga. Babayaga and I hate each other and soon divorced. You gave my Midvyet to another man who beat her senseless. I came to Jookiba meetings and watch her husband treat her like she was being low space trash. The tribe never stopped it. Only a male can issue a divorce. I will never forgive how you told me to mind my own buisness as I held her beaten body and shielded her from her husband. Until she is free...I can never be forgiving you. You all know of how I came to earth so I will be skipping that story. I was captured by Hämsterviel. He told me unless he got what he wanted he would torture my family. I laughed at his face. "Family?" I said, "I have no family!" You were already dead to me. You had left me in a cold and bitter universe, stole my Midvyet, and turned me into the Galactic Federation. Soon I am about to be dying of plasma cannon blast but who should come up to save me but this little earth girl from backward planet? This simple two eyed creature loves me even though I am evil genius. Little girl and the experiment I made myself, six-two-six. I am freed soon and my little one eyed one from Plorgnot says, "Now our broken up family is back together again." I couldn't believe what he was saying. Family. This was family? No shame, no betrayal, no crying at night about why her son is such a failure? This couldn't be family...but it was. As the earthlings say it on this little island: this is ohana. "I have family?" I ask amazed. Ih, I do. "I have family!" as I hug my ohana. This is where I belong. My experiments...I made them with my own hands. I had been spending countless nights creating such perfect designs. I locked myself up from the outside world that could never respect me and created creatures of countless powers who saw me as their creator.
I have Wendy Pleakly. Shrilled voice worrier from Plorgnot. He amuses me with his constant "morality" and "ethics". Constant protector from panic and choas.
I have Bigger Girl, Nani, who runs house hold. She works hours to take care of house and little sister. Pleakly is good at cleaning but cooking and running house not so good. Sometimes she is crying at night from how hard her life is being and I hold her and hold her and tell her it will be alright. I wish Midvyet was here to help her cook and watch Lilo.
Then there is little girl named Lilo. Always curious. Always listening. I have hurt many people, stolen currency from sixteen galaxies wreaked havoc anywhere I could but I can not bring harm to little girl. I would never be allowing ANYONE to hurt little girl. This Lilo. Each day I realize I am becoming more protective of her. She sees me as part of her family no matter what the rest of the universe says about me. I am even teaching her Kweltiwaaian. She can say, "Ih" "Naga" "Sozt", and "Mahalo". I write this to tell you that I am to be teaching little girl our history and culture like she was my little girl. I am to be guessing I am not being complete failure in your eyes.
Tell Midvyet: "Ichi Motaska Ti, Boochiboo."
Dr. Jumba Jookiba