NOTES: First attempt at writing a fanfic. So, all sorts of feedback very welcome.

Yaoi, lemon. Rated R+ for language and explicit (slightly violent) sex scenes. Sorta PWP, not sure about the genre though, so just put general. Yes, I admit sometimes Raito and L just screams sex to me They look so hot when they're fighting. This is sorta an eruption of the accumulating sexual tension between them.

Set just after Higuchi was dead (ch.54). L already knows the existence of Death Note, plus Raito already regained his memory, and owned the Death Note again since he successfully killed Higuchi.

That night, after a long exhausting chase, the two boys and the gang head back to L's headquarters straight away to chill out. And this happened at one moment during their time off. Also, since it was a bit of a "special" night, so expect Raito and L to be a bit OOC (And yes, it includes them coughtalkingdirtycough)

10:59:58 PM


"Alright, I'm off then."

"Sure. Thanks for tonight."

"Good night."

The door closed with a soft click.

Matsuda was the last one to leave the room. It had been a long night for everyone, so I won't blame him for rushing out to get some much-needed rest.

Which is what I'm supposed to be after too. Not that it's been one of my routine, especially after the whole case. And after tonight. This is supposed to be the time to breathe, even for a bit. But...

The note. The reaper. Higuchi dead. Heart attack. Another note, somewhere in this country, or maybe even the planet. Misa, love at first sight. And...


The sudden tug of the chain broke my train of thought. I turned around. Raito was standing behind me with a stern look on his face. The annoyance of the cuff was obvious.

"I wonder how long I'm gonna have to be stuck to this," he started, clearly talking about the cuff.

"Well, for starters, this case is far from over."


"I just didn't expect it to be so messy, that there's more than 1 note..."

"I kind of had a feeling about that. I never once saw this as a simple case from the beginning."

His words trailed off through my ears, passing my thoughts.

Doesn't take a genius to work out the owner of the other note might have something to do with Higuchi's death. I wonder if he's thinking the same thing? But usually the truth isn't that obvious. How do I know that Raito himself doesn't have anything to do with it? Or the other note?

The truth...

Like I thought, he wouldn't do something so stupid to...would he? No.

We are chained together 24/7. But then again...

" you still think I'm Kira."

I turned around and gave him a look. "That's not exactly what's on my mind at the moment, Raito-kun."

"Oh, really?" His tone changed to a rather cynical one. I waited a few seconds.

"That sacher torte in the fridge Watari brought this morning." I pointed at the fridge.

"Huh?" I swear I could hear him frown behind me.

"If you're not eating it, I'll have it."

He rolled his eyes and sighed a long annoyed sigh while tilting his head and jerking his hands slightly, giving another clink to the chain. And I noticed a ghost of a smile on his face from the corner of my eyes.

This time I actually released a tension in the room instead of creating one, for a change.

Without even bothering to return a smile, I opened the fridge door.

11:06:03 PM


Whatever, Ryuuzaki.

Have all the cake or whatever the hell you want...while you can.

The tug on the chain forced me to drag a few steps towards the fridge. Didn't take him long to fetch the cake and made himself a cup of coffee.


"No, thanks." It's not like him to offer me something. I suppose tonight is slightly different.

He sat down as I tag along. Within seconds, he scoffed down the rich cake.

How gross. Even more gross to think that I have to go all out only to convince this freak to decrease his suspicion of me being Kira to a few more percent. I have to admit all that stage performance was far from easy, but nevertheless it was flawless. I could damn well give Misa a run for her money, being actress and all.

Right now I can just focus on my acting.

But it won't be any longer now.

It will be over soon. Very, very soon.

Not that I believe that Ryuuzaki is his real name either. But that can be taken care of later.

So far it's been proven effectively that I achieve best results assuming he's well suspicious of me being Kira. And it better stay that way, cos somehow I can use it and it'll one day backfire on him...somehow. Any hint of him decreasing his suspicion is a sure sign of trouble or a cheap trap.

As for the note, it won't be forever safe to assume that he knows the existence of it but not about the ownership deal. Pretty soon that little head of his will come up with something. First, he would've noticed the my change of attitude while I was imprisoned. Then there's the whole love at first sight crap with me and Misa. And I bet he already had some ideas or hypotheses of the note's "power transfer" and stuff.

Better change tactics.

Not that I need to wait very long. The fact that he chose to place us in this situation is actually quite...convenient, so to speak. Any moment now, he will start asking questions. Trick questions.



"Does it say anywhere in the note about relation to owners of other notes and the likes?"


"I didn't get the chance to read that part. I just barely finished reading the names of the victims when your guys took it away. Then there was the whole hoo-hah with Higuchi."


"Oh, that's right."

I swear, if not given the situations, every single annoying word he says is enough to make me force the damn coffee down his throat. Cup and saucer included.

"It's not like there's anything to do at the moment, is there?"

Silence for another few minutes. I must think. Then I realised how thirsty I was. Not to mention swallowing that piece of Death Note earlier left a bit of aftertaste in my mouth too. I walked towards the fridge, not caring about dragging Ryuuzaki away from his comfy couch. I poured myself a glass of water and gulped the whole thing in one go. Somehow the stream of water flowing inside me acted as a reminder of how I was actually quite tired. I sat down at the couch opposite Ryuuzaki, tilted my head back against the headrest and just enjoyed the silence between us. Even with my eyes closed I could feel him peering at me from behind his coffee cup. And I could feel another silence-breaker coming. Or suspicious question, morelike.



"Have you ever even for a second believed that Ryuuzaki is my real name?"

Spot on. Again.

I sighed and put on a bugger-all expression. "To be completely honest, I never really give a shit." He shifted in his couch as his fascinated smile formed.

"Would you want to know my real name, Raito-kun?"

Time to put on another one of my first-class acting.

11:19:33 PM


"For fuck's sake, Ryuuzaki!" He stood up suddenly, jerked his arm violently, a look of utter frustration on his face. "Can you just leave the whole thing about me being Kira for just one bloody second!"

"I apologise." As I put my coffee cup down on the table between us, his face calmed down slightly. It had been a huge night for everyone after all, I wouldn't blame anyone for being more easily irritated than usual. Tiredness was beyond me at the moment. As always. That's why I can't help it. Although my gut feelings told me not to push it with Raito tonight.

"Whatever. I'm going to sleep." He started to step away. But I refused to budge. He stopped and gave me a look for a second. An obvious 'I'm not putting up with anymore of this crap' look on his face. I just stared at him.

"Fine, I'll sleep here." He sat back down on the couch in front of me, dragged his legs up and lied his body down indifferently.

It's so like me to refuse to stop thinking. He would've known by now. Until I find out exactly how this so-called Death Note work, there's no resting my mind. My hunch is that, Kira or not Kira, Raito knows something about it.

I watched the figure sprawled in front of me. I looked at what could be the face of (or related to) the mass murderer that is known as Kira. His eyes were closed, his long fringe covering most of his eyes, his pale skin created a glowing illusion in the dim lighting of the room.

Eyes. The eyes of the reaper who sneered at me from outside the helicopter earlier. I could've sworn I saw a similar glint in Raito's eyes as we got off the vehicle. Investigating him (or it?) would take ages. But more importantly...

There's something about Raito. His character, too powerful to be human, at times. But then again, many have said the same thing about me. Something tells me that he is somehow related to the whole thing. Although he breaks down too at times.

Which is exactly what. His show of vulnerability comes at the most convenient of times. Although that hardly proves anything. There must be something that can break down those brick walls around him. There must be a tiny slack I could slip through.

Yagami Raito. What a character. My mind went all the way back to the first time I caught a glimpse of him, through the surveillance camera. And then our first meeting at Todai. His behaviour, his attitude, his presence...ultimately flawless. Not a single spot. Something didn't add up. Everything about him was too perfect.

The more we spent time together, the more intriguing he became. I've looked at him from all angles. If only there is another way of looking at him...from the inside. I made a mental note of everything once again. Love at first sight with Misa. The meeting at the park...the mobile phone. Misa's sudden change of attitude. His sudden change of attitude in prison. Higuchi dead as soon as he touched the note.

Once again, if I were Raito and suspected of being Kira, what would I do? 1. Look totally innocent and do everyday normal things 2. Agree to join the Kira investigation team. 3. Go all out even agreeing to be imprisoned. So far everything adds up. Nothing unusual. Just that sudden change of behaviour in prison on day 7. Sheesh, if I don't work this out in the end I'd forfeit my L title altogether.

Forfeit. Now that's a word I don't use very often. Although I feel like I've heard it quite recently.


Suddenly it all rang a bell. That's what Raito said around the time he almost lost it in prison, and changed his behaviour suddenly. That word sounded so out of place. I mean, don't people just say "give up" or something nowadays? I swear that specific word olds the key. The pattern adds up. Misa mentioned it as well around the time her attitude changed while restrained. That word intrigues me. It's code of some sort. A code among reapers, perhaps?

I shuffled towards Raito as I could tell of his non-sleeping state. I'm towering him at the moment, my face less than half a metre from his face.

"Say, Raito-kun..."

He drew a long breath and moved his head to face away from me.

"I envy you."

No answer.

"Amane Misa." I went on. And I swear I could hear him thinking, "You've already said that to me once, now bugger off."

"I could only go as far as, I don't know...what do you kids call it these days, jerk off to her photos in glossy magazines."

I could feel a frown forming in his face, even though he's facing away from me. I admit that tonight I'm not using the kind of language I usually do everyday.

"Damn, if my girlfriend worships me like that, I'd get off too."

Still no reaction.

"So, she must come in handy, eh? You even speak your own language, you play your own private, intimate games. She understands you so well. Wait, don't tell me. You must be one of those couples who get off on watching murders or something, right?"

If I can be anymore of a pain, now should be the time to stop. I moved my face closer to his and said softly, almost like a whisper.

"Does it turn you on when you guys write down someone's name in that book?"

Next thing I knew, Raito's fist landed on my face.

11:44:00 PM


Ryuuzaki's body hit the table with a loud thump, pulling me along. I managed to stay standing.

"Look, if you're so convinced that I'm Kira, why don't you fucking arrest me already?" No answer. The sound of his slightly ragged breath and wiping his mouth filled the room. I looked down on him with an over-the-top glare, waiting for a comeback. He sensed my anticipation, yet he's bloody taking his time.

Stupid bastard.

Any moment now, someone will barge in as soon as they saw that punch on their TV screen. Reflexively I turned to the door.

"The cameras are off, Raito-kun."


"I specifically asked us to be off camera tonight."

He must be on to something. He's planning to bludgeon me with all his suspicions, dig in so deeply until I can't take it anymore. Him being suspicious is not really my problem. But...

"Don't fuck with me, Ryuuzaki."

"I know something." his sudden comeback startled me for a bit.

"Fine, whatever the fuck you have in your twisted head, bring it on!" So this is it. All our accumulating hostility towards each other will be unleashed tonight. Or will it? But whatever game he's playing, I'll surely win. And after all, it's a good release for me too. If we're gonna beat the crap out of each other tonight, then so be it.

"You know the reaper." He started.

"Do I now? And?"

"You and Misa. 'Forfeit', that's your code, isn't it? You may not have the note, but somehow you possessed its powers...or the like."

"Oh, I possess the powers now, do I? I'm surprised you're still alive then."

"Because you don't know my real name? Or..."

"Because I'm not so fucked in the head to kill you right here right now where I'd be so obviously busted afterwards?" I cut him off. "Yeah, sure."

Silence for a few seconds. I was right again. I knew he would've worked something out about the note's powers by now. And it's so like Ryuuzaki. So like L.

"Something happened within the split second you grab a hold of that note and Higuchi having a heart attack."

"Yeah? And how did I do that? You were with me the whole time. How did I do it? Go on, enlighten me, Mr.Genius."

Another silence. I knew it. He still hasn't worked it out that far. He got up and rubbed his face, saying "Let me."

Within half a second, he planted a kick on my chest. I tumbled down on the floor, hitting the edge of the couch. Now he's standing, peering over me. Instinctively my unchained hand curled in front of my chest. Apparently so. We're playing rough tonight. "Your punch could do with a little more practice, Raito-kun." I jerked my other arm to pull him towards me and jabbed my waiting fist up his chin. This time he half-escaped it, so I got up as fast as I could. This is gonnabe fun. When this is over, Ryuuzaki, L, or whoever the fuck your name is, I'm so going to make your death much more interesting than a simple heart attack. He's been getting to me to the core of my very soul, like a termite eating away wood from the inside. A pest. A parasite. A cancer.

His presence has been intriguing me from the very moment we met. His scruffy appearance disgusts me, his talks and idiosyncrasies annoy me, his manners and behaviour repels every single of my cells. And this little shit is so hard to get rid of.

Crank! Another tug at the chain forced me to hit the table.

He attempted another one of those filthy kicks towards my face, and I ducked but lost my balance. It hit my shoulder. Once again I pulled him down with me. Before he completely squish me down, I lifted my knee as forceful as possible against his abdomen...with the hope he won't puke the half-digested sacher torte all over my face.

"Uhg!" His startled sound of pain as his head fell beside me excited me. His other hand instinctively held his stomach. I wanted to do more, to strangle that sound out of him. I took this chance to get up. On my feet, Ryuuzaki curled on the floor while struggling to get up, at the same time I planted a few small, taunting kicks to what I saw as a lump of filth. "Come on, Ryuuzaki! Come on!" He finally got up, but didn't do anything. And that angered me even more. Without wasting a chance, I grabbed the front neck of his shirt and hauled him to the nearest wall. I thought I had control over him, but just before I managed to bang his head against the wall, he did the exact same thing I did to him earlier...only difference is it's on my crotch. I instinctively took some distance away from him, and that's where he took the chance to land one of his kicks to my neck.

Thud! "Agh!" I fell once again bringing him down with me.

…I started having images of myself getting Misa to recognise his real name…once she gets all her memory back.

This time he hauled me to the opposite wall, and banged my head on the wall. Then he stopped suddenly. His deep, haunting, dark-rimmed oblivious eyes were right in my face, as if trying to penetrate my entire being. I didn't take my eyes off his, taunting him all the more. Come on, Ryuuzaki, show me all you've got. Does it piss you off this much, Ryuuzaki? That it's taking you this bloody long to catch Kira?

"Man, talk about desperate." I hissed, shortly before I spat on his face. He blinked once, and with my free hand I tried to pull the hair on the back of his head until he squirmed abit. "Get your fucking hands off me, freak!"

…I started having images of myself writing down Ryuuzaki's real name.

With his hands still in my neck I used the force of my whole body to push him back, all the way to the opposite corner and forced him to collapse. We wrestled for a few seconds, my wrist sore from all the pulling and tugging at the cuff.

"Is this all you've got, Raito-kun?" I tried hard not to get his taunting words get into me, by staying still for a minute. I let him took the chance to force me beneath him and stayed calm. Once again those wild eyes ran all over me, like a predator searching for its prey.

"Misa was right." I started. He didn't answer.

…I started having images of choosing his method of death.

"You are nothing but a desperate pervert." With this, I forced him to roll over me once again until I got on top of him. Now he's lying there, sprawled beneath me, his eyes suddenly empty. I'm slightly physically stronger than him, so I'm sure I could stay in this position for a bit longer. I moved my face closer to his, and hissed "Does this turn you on, hm? Have you always fantasised about Kira being on top of you?"

Silence once again. I can't believe that I'm actually starting to enjoy this. We had always got into physical fights once in a while during our investigation routines, it's always been like a kind of a release for the both of us, or a mere boredom killer. But this time it's different. Tonight was special. And for once I can enjoy beating him up…as Raito. The Raito I feel like being. The Raito I want to be. Out of surveillance too.

…Damn it, I can't wait to see him sprawled right in front of me. But this time, dead.

"There might be one way of showing me if you are Kira or not."

00:00:27 AM



I knew those last words I said would get to him somehow. But this is, of course, only if my theory is correct. Right now it doesn't matter, and there's only one way to find out. I thought all these tension and wrestling would would've worn me out by now, but somehow I'm more excited now than ever. The real Kira might be well on top of me right now. And I think I've got a way of proving my point. And it turned me on even more. To think that within seconds I might be able to peel every layer of him, of Raito, maybe Kira.

The dim lighting of the room must've formed a silhouette which would be interpreted wrongly by anyone who caught a glimpse of it. I felt my back against the cold floor, my wrists both in his grip and pinned to the floor while his face screamed death at me. I felt a cut forming in my cuffed wrist, as the pressure of his grip and the cuff against the floor tightened.

His feral eyes were still fixed on me so strongly, as if trying to drill through me. And for once I could see what I've never seen before, or maybe something that I have seen but not taken so much notice.

There was a glint of hurt and frustration, more than just anger and testosterone-filled violence. This was Yagami Raito, a normal, 18-year-old son of a police chief, a genius scholar, with an overwhelming sense of responsibility, wishing for himself and his family to be left alone. But a trace of Kira still hides somewhere in my alternate impression.

"We both know that anyone who touches the note, or somehow in contact with the note's power, can see the reaper, no?"


Even part of myself wondered where such crazy ideas came from. But there's only one way to find out. What is one or two humiliation for me? I gave up my all to solve cases, mind, soul, and in this case, maybe…body. Plus this might be the only chance of me to see it from a different angle…to dig in more from him.

Raito looked at me impatiently. What I was about to say might make him go through the roof…if he hasn't already.

"If we become one, and I can't see the reaper, then you are not Kira."

He suddenly pulled away from me. A look of mixed terror, disbelief and repulsion filled his eyes all at once.

"I…I always knew you were a sick piece of shit…but this…"

"I'm not suggesting this because I want to, you know…"

"Shut the fuck up, you sick…sick…fuck!"

Silence filled the room yet again. If I wasn't L, I wouldn't believe what I've said myself. But it's true enough, isn't it? The only logical way to see if he's not somehow related to the reaper or the whole Death Note thing might be to...become one with him and see the result.

'What's the matter, Raito-kun, are you scared of being caught?" Another simplistic question came out. And I knew this was pushing it way beyond common sense.

"To hell with that, it's gross enough being chained to you, but having sex with you!" A blush formed on his face. His lips curled into a typical nauseous expression. "You…you are seriously fucked in the head! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"If we do this, I'll get off your back." I know I'm making fake promises here, but my need to know now is far too strong. If he really has nothing to do with the note or whatever, then he wouldn't have a problem letting me see it from his…point of view, would he? I know this is way beyond moral boundaries, but since when have I cared about such impractical humanly things? I'm not doing it because I want to. This is part of the investigation, and my greatest need is for the truth, not sex.

I'd be lying if the thought of it doesn't excite me one bit. This creature in front of me is so fascinating, I want to look at him from every single angle, outside, or inside. When I get it over and done with, then I'll be satisfied. In one way or another. A ghost of naughty smirk crept up my face. When I get my hands on him…

As I managed to catch my breath again and all the sores from the previous beatings subsided, I focused on getting my attention back to the investigation. Something happened in between the time Raito caught the note in the helicopter and seconds before Higuchi was killed. He knew of the reaper, and he knew (or somehow related to) the forced associated with the note. The reaper. It might be even here somewhere, watching us. And all it took is one touch at the note, or maybe someone with the force, namely Raito. The taboo is beyond words, but right now, anything is possible.

But stupid little me, my next uncontrollable words made the whole situation far from better.

"We could turn off all the lights, and you can just pretend like you're doing it with Misa." I said in a half smile. And within half a second, Raito jumped back on top of me. I squinted as the back of my head hit the floor. This time he made sure he was sitting on my crotch, his hands gripped my wrists once again and his forehead pinned mine down. His violent, predatory eyes blurred in front of me.

"You want me to fuck you, fine, I'll fuck you right here, right now, you sonofabitch." He then let go of one of my wrist and with his free hand reached the nearest light switch. Suddenly everything was dark, only traces of the city lights escaped through the window.

Becoming one with someone sure is a big deal. Not that I've never done it before. But this time it's different. I needed this just as much as he needed it, to prove himself, to release all those pent up anger on me. I needed to become one with him. I needed to see inside him, as raw as possible, and this may be the only way to do it to get as close as I can. I kept my eyes open, staring at the ceiling, searching for signs of any supernatural presence. Suddenly one of Raito's hand pressed against my groin. And my knees lifted up instinctively, as I my body adjust to the abrupt forceful sensation. Sweet, aching…but at the same time insatiable.

I writhed a bit to allow more sense of Raito. He wasn't heavy, but I wouldn't consider him light either. His slightly bony features pressed against me, and as he went lower to pin me down with his entire body, I could feel his racing heart and the heat of his skin seeping straight into me. However he wants to fuck me, I don't really care so much. I was lying there on the cold floor passively, my hands sprawled on my sides, letting him do as he pleased. As he moved his head towards one side, I spotted a bruise near the side of his lips from where I landed my kick earlier. It was…enticing. That, in a way, I had this much power over him that forced him to turn himself on and become one with me. Soon enough, I might see the inside of Kira's soul. Before I could collect my mind again, suddenly his face landed on mine again, and he forced my mouth open with his lips. His tongue came next, without hesitation he forced it really deep down my throat, ignoring my gasping breath. Gives a whole new meaning to the term 'kiss of death'. As our saliva dissolved in each other's, once again I opened my eyes as wide as possible, and looked around, searching for any outworldly presence.

But the only available reality is me and Raito, lying on the cold floor in the dark, drowned in taboo, hidden by the dark of night. As I struggled to search the room from what's left of the view blocked by Raito's head, something suddenly caught my attention.

I reacted.

What Raito was doing to me caused a reaction, and this realisation somehow made my breath hitched. He didn't care, and continued to shove his tongue down my throat. He sucked on whatever part he could catch in my mouth and left my lips stinging raw but deliciously wet.

Looking at the situation, I guess I had no other choice but to enjoy the moment and let him take me. This seemed, undoubtedly, like a terribly scientific analysis at a moment like this. I let go of my mind waves slightly and surrendered to the pleasures of the body that was given to me.

It has been a while, after all...

I zoned out. And Raito grew more and more violent, searching my eyes wildly every time he stopped kissing (since it's the closest description I could think of) me to catch his breath. I could hear his thoughts going "I'll treat you like a filthy animal, I will fuck you so hard until you can't take it anymore…"

00:14:01 AM


It was like I was possessed with something. Every single cell in my body insisted on breaking him. It was still gross, though. In some ways, I felt like a necrophiliac. Ryuuzaki just laid there, letting me do as I pleased. I made sure I dipped as much of my tongue in his mouth, suffocating him. His dark sleep-deprived eyes stared blankly at the ceiling, through me.

I knew what he was looking for. And it made me even more angry. I remembered the first time he made a fool of me, that morning at Toudai.

I could taste traces of the sacher torte in his mouth.

...Then I remembered that time where he blew my plan by stealing Misa's phone.

His breathing was ragged and heavy beneath me.

...Then he put me in prison.

His legs spread apart slightly beneath me, as if giving leeway for more pleasure.

...Then the chain.

Suddenly he closed his eyes, and his arms broke free from my grip...only to be put around me as he pulled me even closer, as if trying to mould the core of my very soul to him. So I pressed down on him with all the weight I've got. And started moving down there, rubbing against his private area. I could hear a sudden intake of deep breath, as his hands started digging into my shoulders. The rough fabric of his jeans made a specific noise, but all frazzled and staggered against the fabric of my own corduroy trousers. I moved my mouth away from his, then started running it along his face, his neck...

"I've had better, you know, Raito-kun..." Ryuuzaki whispered in between his heavy breathing.

You're just asking for it, you sick freak. He gets into my very nerves, but at the moment I was beyond caring. All I wanted to do was fuck his brains out. I imagined writing something in the Death Note, a dirty, decadent, debauched and humiliatingly lowest kind of death for him. If it had to involve this, so be it. Only this time I'll only watch.

Damn you, Ryuuzaki! My hands moved to rip his clothes off impatiently, I pulled and tugged at it, until all that's left is nothing but skin. I couldn't see much in the dark but it felt smooth, almost unreal, and smelled slightly musky. Without hesitation I ran my hands all over his chest and stomach, applying intense pressure every time, until I could feel him writhing beneath me, probably still feeling the pain of the bruise from our earlier fight. Still, nothing but messy breathing. My attention was drawn to the burning heat between my legs, and he was responding to it, I could feel some pressure against it. I had expected him to be slightly bony, but his overall condition gave me nothing but a feeling of fragility…which in a way is a good thing. I was so in the mood to tear him apart, and turn him inside out.

We were both actually hard as hell. Revolting.

I shifted my attention towards his hair, and with one hand I pulled on it to turn his face sideways. Once again I ran my mouth along the exposed side of his neck, quickly and roughly, this time with a bit of teeth, all the way up. "I'm gonna make you scream, bitch…"I cooed in his ear, and went on to give a bit of a bite, while my other hand gripped his hair tighter. I noticed another sharp intake of breath, as he got hotter all over. I shifted my position to lie comfortably on top of him, and started running my mouth all over his nakedness. My lips found a soft bud and almost devoured it hungrily, drawing a surprised reaction. My free hand found another one, and grabbed around it, pinching and twisting it until I knew it hurt. Ryuuzaki's hips shifted beneath me, and with a slight struggle, pressed up against me, as if hinting something.

No way. We're not going there until I say so. Once again I moved up to look at his eyes, he was still staring at me with that "I'm not doing this because I want to, you know" look. And without any prior warning, I moved off him, stood up, dragging him along with me with a sudden jerk.

Get up, bitch.

He did so almost immediately, probably too hard to even think of a smart comeback.

I rushed to the bedroom, as he dragged himself behind me, and I was obviously thinking only about my own convenience. I thought about doing it to him on the floor, but it was getting too uncomfortable for me. Every single step I dragged accentuated the aching swell between my legs, demanding attention. As soon as we got in, I slammed the door shut, threw him on the bed, and I climbed on top of him right away. Suddenly images of porn magazines flashed in my head, and now I came to a startling realisation that I've been doing things to Ryuuzaki without ever actually knowing how, and just going by instinct. That made me slightly disgusted, but at the same time I want to go on torturing him.

The room was dark, so we could hardly see each other. And again, with no prior warning, I fumbled lower and as soon as I think I found it, grabbed his crotch hard, tightening my grip on the bulge, as if forcing it to burst open.

"Uhhg!" Ryuuzaki gasped between his ragged breath, as his hands gripped the sheets. Then I let go. I tried hard to ignore it, while inside a grin of satisfaction was forming. I fumbled with his jeans, forced the fly open and snatched the whole thing away. I felt his legs were bony and long, utterly hairless, but there was something strong about them. As I touched him again, I felt a hint of moisture pooling within the fabric of his underwear. I could almost imagine what he looks like, mouth slightly open, a dark blush spread across his pale face, his chest moving up and down, his aroused breathing getting louder, just asking for more. His most central evidence of arousal was taunting me, even the slightest tease would probably bring him a streak of pleasure.

A streak of pleasure? Think again.

I grabbed his crotch again, this time even harder than before, with my other hand pulling down the last piece of fabric from his body. He let out a sharp groan, then silence. There he was, sprawled beneath me, naked and utterly vulnerable, in the dark, totally surrendering to me. Or was he?

…His most private parts were exposed, waiting for the next coming torture, I could feel it engorged and rattling occasionally in my hand…

It was his plan all along for me to lose control. But so far whatever I do, I held the key, the key to prove whether I was Kira or not. I'd break him to pieces, and then the only reaper he'd see is in his head as I…as I…

…His back arched slightly as I began to stroke him briskly, not caring about the sufficiency of natural lubricant…

If this whole thing was a set up, what is his plan exactly? To think that he'd go this far just to test me, just to see if I was Kira?

…He began moving himself along with the rhythm of my strokes, occasionally making sounds of pain and pleasure…

No, Ryuuzaki still doesn't know everything. It wasn't written anywhere in the note that anyone in contact with someone who owns the note, gets the effect of the note as well. Even if they were to become one.

I'll show you Reaper, Ryuuzaki!

As I thought this, my hands shifted to spread his legs wide, then grabbed a hold of both sides of his hips, pulling him closer to my own erection.

With one brisk movement, I pulled down my own trousers, jammed my aching hardness to his waiting hole, holding back groans of delight.


His body jerked up reflexively, making a noise as it slammed back into the bed. As I adjusted to the feeling of being inside him, I could imagine the painful look on his face, grtting his teeth, eyes tightly shut, all flushed and helpless, the occasional tear escaping the corners of his eyes.

I could come anytime now just by this. But no. Not until I've had enough fucking those sounds out of him. Not until he felt like he was going to burst. I pulled out as far away as I could…and jabbed back into him with considerable force…over and over, until he could no longer hold back the noise. That's it. Scream, bitch. I'll churn your insides until I could feel you bleed. Ryuuzaki held on to his passive role, just lying there, dragged along to my vicious movements.

He enjoyed doing this to me. Making me feel like I was fucking a dead body. But as long as I continue violating him, I'd just as much enjoy drawing out those agonising sounds. A streak of moisture ran down the palm of my left hand. I fumbled around and found his hardness straight against his lower stomach, fully engorged and was about to explode anytime.

Ryuuzaki was wet. Very wet. But I wasn't going to offer him the convenience of assisting him in his climax…focusing on mine only.

I felt thrushes of sweat emerging in different parts of my body. It wasn't a particularly cold night, but I haven't sweat like this at night since last summer. But I was never planning to get naked with him. I want to bring as much humiliation upon him, and as little as possible on my part. I'll be the fucking Reaper…I am to him, anyway. So I pushed, and pushed, and pushed…I made sure it hurt. It was becoming a trance to me, the sheer nothingness in the dark, no one could see me, the sounds of the thrusts and the friction of the sheets faded out, nothing but a pleasant feeling in my groin.

For while, I for got about being Kira, about the investigation, about L, about Ryuuzaki, even about the note. If this was hell, I would be laughing with the reapers, enjoying every single drop of this heavenly sin, this decadent delight, this vicious pleasure…

I could go on forever. Deny Ryuuzaki of his relish, just a little bit more…

00:40:59 AM


It's been a while since I've had this sensation. But back then, I was rarely the one penetrated. And I never made a fuss. Not even now.

And now, I was having sex with someone who's intriguing me the most at the moment.

I swear I could hear Raito laughing, a long, devilish laugh. Somewhere in the distance, since I zoned out, I could hear the faint thrusting sounds, forcing me to squint everytime it pushes in me, the rattling sound of the bed, the sheets, the occasional clinks of the chain, Raito's breath…

He hasn't said anything since he started fucking me. Yet I didn't want anything more either. I just focused on the painful pleasure down there.

Faint streaks of escaping light from the outside enabled me to see Raito's silhouette, estimating his direction of movements. I could tell he was enjoying this, what he probably didn't notice was that somewhere along the line, I've sneaked in my very own self-service in between.

I felt like I was getting closer and closer to Raito…to Kira. Maybe in some sick, twisted way, I wanted him to fuck me, to let me in as close as possible, and search him deeper and deeper. I kept my vision alert, because anytime now, we will both reach that meeting point. So I let him enjoy what he was doing to me while I still can. I felt myself nearing the edge, the aching heat between my legs couldn't hold any longer, and for a moment, I knew I've lost it.


I let everything burst inside me as my erection released its nectars everywhere. I let the wave of orgasm rushed through me, surrendering to the sudden spasms as sweet, aching pleasure seeped into every drop of my blood. The only thing holding me back slightly was Raito's embedded force in me.

The smell of raw protein suddenly filled the room, as I laid there, hot, flushed and sweaty, panting. Raito was still moving in and out of me, fully aware that I just came, almost instinctively thrusting faster and faster. But I had no problem waiting all night. I could tell of his annoyance from me calling out Kira's name-whether I did it deliberately or not, it'd damn well nudge his ego even for abit.

Then a minute later, it happened. I opened my eyes wide, as Raito released his seeds into me. As the heat filled me up inside, my body fully embracing them and made it a part of me.

Where is it? Is it anywhere in this room?

I've become one with Kira. Or have I? Moments before Raito collapsed on top of me, I caught a glimpse of his shadows. But nothing else. It seems I've only become one with Yagami Raito.

I didn't see the Reaper. So if I go back to my hypothesis, this means Raito has nothing to do with either the note or its powers. And I'm still left fumbling in the dark, just like how I searched for the Reaper before.

So, for now, all I did was have sex with Raito. Which isn't really a bad thing. It was part of the investigation.

I'm not doing this because I want to anyway. I let out a long sigh, as the sore between my legs started creeping up.

That was interesting.

Searching the Reaper.

Then I realised Raito was still on top of me. His hot, sweaty and sticky skin directly resting against mine, with only the thin fabric of his drenched shirt in between. His breathing steadied, his back moved up and down, and I could almost hear his heart pounding against my own. As my naked skin exposed to the cold night air, and I felt goosebumps forming around my body, I tried to move away from him.

He didn't budge.


No answer.

04:08:20 AM


I woke up and found my clothes already drying, but my skin still sticky and uncomfortable. I could still barely smell the protein intertwined with Ryuuzaki's and my sweat. I heard his breathing in the dark, as he was sleeping next to me, curled up like a spoilt cat. Wait. The last thing I remembered I was on top of Ryuuzaki-I think he moved me off him.

I moved my leg abit, and was reminded of the sore between my legs. I let out a long sigh. My mind lingered back to his moment of climax where he screamed Kira's name. He must've done it deliberately to annoy me. But at the moment, I really don't give a shit.

The persistent darkness didn't make it any easier for me to fix up my position. Estimating the size of comfort I could get, I fumbled for the space left.

My mouth felt raw, as were my privates. The occasional sores of the bruises from the earlier fight with Ryuuzaki have subsided, though they never bothered me as much as the thought having sex with him. It's the thought of what's next that confiscated my frame of mind.

What's the next thing in his agenda? If I were Ryuuzaki, if I were L, what would I do now? Now that he slept with me and didn't find any outworldly presence that indicated me of being Kira.

I guess all that's left to do now is to study the Death Note. What it's all about, what are all the deals associated with it, the extension of its powers, its forces…

Not that he would find that much luck in finding the answers. The other available option will be to interrogate Rem, but she simply won't cooperate. If she did, she'd endanger her beloved Misa. And me.

At the moment, nothing should bug me that much. Last night I had sex with Ryuuzaki to prove my innocence. So what? In the end know I'll win, because I know more.

Right now, I needed some water though. I searched for the edge of the bed and slowly drag myself towards it.

Suddenly, a hand appeared out of nowhere and covered my face at once. Then another one grabbed me around the wait. What the...

"Raito-kun…" Ryuuzaki's voice.

He hissed in my ear, his breath haggard and his voice dry. "I didn't see the reaper last night, so for now I think you're not Kira."

I struggled to let go, but his grip was unusually strong.

"Unless next time we do it with the lights on."

What the fuck is he on about!

Then I heard his crisp, freakish, artificially cute laugh.

"I was joking, Raito-kun." Then he slowly let go of me. I mumbled something abusive then rushed to get out of bed. As the door slowly clicked behind me, I heard him again.

"I'll find out more information about the Death Note, Raito-kun. Until then, the only part where I was joking about is doing it with the lights on."

04:11:54 AM

OWARI for now

C C please...thanks for reading!