Disclaimer: I don't own Codename: Kids Next Door.

A/N: I was inspired by Beezlee's story, Love, Kooks and decided to make my own diary story, featuring Numbuh 4 instead.


Cruddy Diary!

June 23rd

I have no idea why I'm suddenly writing a cruddy diary! It's cruddy girl thing! And I'm not really a good writer. But I suddenly had this urge to write down certain things, like what happens on our missions, except for what we report to the Moon Base. You know, the stuff that goes on behind the official butt-kicking we do.

Yeah, that and other… things. Like what happens in general. What happens in the Treehouse and with the other guys and stuff. It could be a lot of fun to read all of it later.

I was really sleepy this morning! And of course, just as I was trying to press down a pop tart on edge, the alarm went off. Okay, don't get me wrong – I love missions! But that early in the morning? Why don't you just stab me while you're at it!

Well, it wasn't a big deal really. The Delightful Dweebs From Down the Cruddy Lane had gotten themselves a new "toy". They really thought they had us this time, but boy, did we prove them wrong!

This happened:

The Delightful Suckers were on their way to surprise us at the breakfast table. Fortunately for us, we have our sources, so we kinda got ready to meet them before they even reached the Treehouse. Oh, it was so cool the way we just ruined the whole machine thingy! I really suck at describing stuff like what their machine looked like, but it was like a flying saucer, with a big glass… uhm, bulb… to cover them.

I shot at them the ray gun, hoping it would do some damage. Hmm, not that much, anyway. So I coincidentally found a baseball bat over at the playground (We were fighting right by it), and went back with it. The others were starting to take control over the Delightful Monkey-butt-faces when I made it over there with the bat. I just jumped up and slammed it into their glass… bulb. (That sounds so stupid.) The glass shattered! I just love the sound of that! It's the sound of… VICTORY!

Then I got into their machine and started to pound their butts! Okay, so the others helped me out XP But I did one heck of a job! I wonder if those Delightful Losers started to cry! That would have been so awesome!

Gah, I hear my stomach is getting hungry… Feels like it, too! Okay, time to order pizza! Time to get Hoagie's big butt over to the Pizza Palace and pick it up! Time to eat!

Alright, then! Bye for now!


A few hours later:

I… am… so… stuffed! No more food! I'll freaking barf! Hoagie and I had a bet; Who can eat the most pizza? Why was I actually stupid enough to go through with it? Of course he was gonna win! He's like three times my size! …I'm dead if he reads that.

So I ate 7 slices of (feeling how it is forcing itself back up!) pizza… I don't think I can move for a cruddy week! I'll most likely throw up!

Okay, Hoagie ate 12 slices! Holy Crud! How can a ten-year-old possibly fit that much pizza in his stomach? I think that would have killed me! I can see the headlines now; "Local kid ate himself to death on pizza!"

There was no price for the bet, but the one that could eat the most would be printed as the Almighty Pizza Muncher for as long as Sector V was united. Hoagie the Almighty Pizza Muncher. Hah! Sounds great!

Numbuh 5 was just rolling her eyes at the whole bet. Numbuh 1 was just peacefully eating his pizza while watching us stuffing our faces. It looked like he thought it was good entertainment, though, 'cause he was smiling. Numbuh 3 was cheering for me. Yay! I rule! I love it when I get her attention… Oh, and don't worry! There was more than enough pizza for everyone.

Okay, I just burped… It tasted like pepperoni. Ugh, I hate it when I start burping it! It's going to haunt me for the rest of the night.

Well, I think I'm ready to start whoopin' Numbuh 2's butt in Street Fighters! Now, that's a bet I CAN'T lose! Mwhahaha! I always beat his sorry ass in that game. And all the other games! I am… The Game Master!

Leaving now, the game's waiting.

Numbuh 4's outta here!

And now he's back again:

Alright, just as expected – I won like ever before! XD Hoagie lost, oh yes, he did! I won 39 out of 56 times. I'm a bad ass! Mwhaha!

Numbuh 3 wanted to play the winner, which of course was me. This I leave unmentioned… hmm… Alright, she kicked my ass! So what? It's not like girls can't play the game. I never said anything against that.

…I hate lying to myself… Fine, so I thought she wasn't able to beat me in the beginning (a few months ago), but she proved me wrong, by golly! But she's the only girl who can kick my ass. In the game! Not in real life. Not that I'd ever hit her, she'd just start crying. Although, I've seen how she react when she's angry. And it's not a funny sight.

I'm getting tired. It's past 10 pm. Think I should get to bed soon. Besides, everybody else has gone to bed. Even Kuki left the couch after she'd beaten me a few times. I wanted a rematch, but she told me she was too tired.

I was just like: "Hah! You're afraid I'll win this time!" Bet she was! She didn't want to lose.

She just said: "No, Wally, I'm really tired."

Yeah, right!

I really don't want to go to bed just yet. It's summer, for cruds sake! We should be outside and doing weird things now. Running around ringing doorbells of adults and teenagers, just to piss them off XD We should be doing something cool for once. But noooo!

Numbuh 1: "Time for bed, team!"

Nu-uh! No sleep! Don't need sleep! Need to have fun!

This might just be the overly tired Wally speaking. Maybe Hoagie wants to join me? Numbuh 1's out. He's already in bed. Numbuh 5 always freaks out when I disturb her in her room at this hour. So she's out, too Numbuh 3 gets mad sometimes when I come to bug her late at night. Hmmm… Never mind… I better get some sleep anyway.

I just read through all I've written today. Some of it is interesting to know later, other stuff is just plain blabber! Then again, I do blabber a lot.

Yes, good night, then. I'm seriously tired!


Okay, so it's not the 23rd anymore. It's 24th, but… the sun isn't up yet. I couldn't sleep. I've been tossing and turning for the last two hours! It's insane!

I've been thinking a lot. I hate it when I do that! Wanna know why? Well, it might just have something to do with a certain person in this Treehouse… You get three guesses.

Bingo! Numbuh 3. Kuki Sanban… Kuki, who I feel so strangely attracted to. Whoa, that sounded weird! But… it's probably better for me if I admit it to myself. So I suppose writing it down here would make me feel better. Man, I sound like a cruddy GIRL! Ugh! I'm losing it! But I'm serious about it. Maybe I should write about her here? Yeah, I'll do that!

Kuki is… strange… but she looks beautiful, like some kind of wildflower that you can find nowhere else but form the very field in the very valley she came from. Did that really come from my mouth? ...err, hand… -head? But I'm not even close to kidding! She's the only girl ever that has made me feel like this. Not that any guys have before her! I'm sooo not gay! Unlike others I know… CoughFannycough! Blah, blah, but she's a girl, blah, blah! She can still be gay…

Uh, I'm starting to sound like Hoagie! Freaky…

Kuki smells like all the most wonderful scents in the world, put together. So she's not only pretty, she smells heavenly, too. How do I know? Let's just say that she hugged me yesterday… Why? Let's just stick to business! It was just something I said… and agreed to. Okay, so I agreed to play Rainbow Monkey dress up with her stuffed animals. Again with the 'why'? Because… Numbuh 4 here is getting weak! That's why! I didn't dress up, but she did. I just played along, dressing up her stuffed animals for a tea party, which I did NOT intend to join! But did anyways…

I don't get it. It's like I can't say 'no' to her lately. At least she gets happy, and I have to sit there and be ridiculed, feeling I'm just wasting my time. Well, not completely. At least I get to see her smile, get to hear her laugh and get to stare at her beautiful face for minutes at the time.

Kuki's laughter is like… I don't know… Can't compare it to anything. All I know is that it makes me feel great, most of the time.

It's called having a crush on! And yes, I do have a crush on Kuki Sanban. She probably doesn't feel the same way, although it sometimes seems like she does. And sometimes it seems like she wants a boyfriend. Could that be me one day? If I only cough out the words, that is. It's not really that hard! "I like you, Kuki!" But when I'm about to tell her, I get all nervous and stupid, and I stutter, and it feels like my heart is about to beat a hole in my chest! Jeez!

Okay, so here's the deal: By the time this diary is full and has no more vacant pages, I will have told her. She will then know, and I'll show her all I've written about her. Unless she rejects me, that is… Would she really do that? Nah!

I'm starting to feel really tired now. Maybe I'll fall asleep if I put this book away? It's probably for the better… Yeah! Alright, then. Good night, again. Let's see if I can sleep this time!

Wallabee Beatles

A/N: That kinda sucked, huh? Oh, well!