Disclaimer: I own nothing when it comes to Gilmore Girls. This is an original story based on the spoilers for the upcoming episodes. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.
Author's note: This is my very first ever Gilmore Girls fanfic, though I have written for other shows before. It is based upon the spoilers for the upcoming episodes so those of you who are spoiler-free—I applaud your willpower, you may not want to read this story. Though I am a romantic and am interested in the Lorelai/Luke storyline, I am more interested in the family relationship aspects of the show—Emily/Lorelai, Lorelai/Rory, Emily/Rory, Richard/Rory, Richard/Lorelai, and Emily/Richard. I particularly find the relationship between Emily and Lorelai fascinating. So, that having been said, I hope you enjoy my first venture.
"You and me, we're done," her words haunted me. At first I didn't think too much of it—Lorelai and her dramatics! Lorelai had left right after the picture, and it wasn't like I could have gone after right then, I had a room full of important people for goodness sake! Besides—I had noticed that Rory had walked after her, and if anyone could calm her down, it was Rory. She was most likely drunk, and after her hangover she would be just fine. But then I saw Christopher—sitting at a table, head in his hands and I knew what had happened. That was when the fear starting knawing at me.
When Lorelai didn't show up to see us off, I kept telling myself that she was just busy at the inn, yet I kept looking over the crowds of people, hoping that I would see her—but she never came. She was only drunk, I kept telling myself. She didn't mean what she had really said.
It was a week later—when we were in Paris that the dream started. It had been so long since it had come that I had put it out of my mind all together. Now—it has come every night since—now, I know that something is terribly wrong. The first time the dream came was when Lorelai was two. It had shaken me so badly that I had woken up screaming for my baby and could not stop until Richard ran and got Lorelai and brought her to me. The dream started in a park on a Spring day, Richard was pushing Lorelai in a swing, and I was getting a picnic lunch ready. It was so perfect—just the three of us, our little family—so happy. There were no job pressures, no social engagements, just a perfect sunny day. "Time to eat!" I'd call, and Richard would heft Lorelai up on his shoulders and with a laugh that sounded like Heaven's music, Lorelai would hug onto Richard's head as they made their way over to me. My heart would burst as I watched the two people I loved most on the earth walk towards me. Richard would gently set Lorelai down and I would bring out the sandwiches.
Suddenly, the sky darkened with terrible black clouds, and lightening started shooting out of the sky. I could hear Richard yelling for us to take cover, and I reached out for Lorelai but she moved away from me. Suddenly we weren't in a park anymore, it was a cliff and Lorelai was headed right for it.
"Lorelai!" I was screaming, "Lorelai, turn around, look at Mommy—Please! Come to Mommy! Come to Mommy!" I would keep screaming. She turned and looked at me—as if to acknowledge my presence, and then turned and kept walking. I ran for her, but I couldn't make it in time. She walked right over the edge of the cliff. "No!" I would scream as I watched her fall. "No!" and then it was over. Sometimes it was different—sometimes I would watch her be hit by an oncoming car, or be kidnapped by a stranger in a mall. Each time, I couldn't get to her.
Tonight it had taken all my willpower not to wake Richard up as I woke from the dream again. I was so afraid to tell him what happened, afraid he would be angry. He will know soon enough what I have done. I take another sip of my wine glass and close my eyes as if in dread of what is to come.
"Are they here yet?" Richard asked as he stood in front of me, giving me the non-verbal message that he wanted me to straighten his tie. I swallowed hard, "No," I said in the most assuring voice I could muster, "Please…"I silently prayed, "Please let it be "they." The doorbell rang and Richard hurried downstairs.
"Rory!" he exclaimed happily. I waited at the top of the stairs, my eyes closed, hoping against hope I'd hear her voice.
"Emily!" Richard called, "Emily come down, Rory's here!" She wasn't here—my heart started to beat wildly, but I forced myself to smile. I wasn't going to let Rory see me like this. I smiled, in the same social smile I have forced myself to give when I wasn't feeling like it, and came down the stairs. Richard had a sparkle in his eyes, as he talked to Rory, a sparkle that she can always bring out in him. That was a difference between them. Heaven knows I love Rory, but with Richard it was something different. Richard had sought and found the Daddy/daughter relationship he had lost with Lorelai in Rory. He was happy to let Lorelai live her life, as long as he had his girl. I didn't want Rory for a daughter. I wanted Lorelai
"Rory!" I call out, and hug her too me. "Hi Grandma," she says quietly, and she doesn't hug me back. My heart jumps into my throat—she's not hugging me back. "Where's your mother?" Richard asks, putting his hand on Rory's back and leading her into the living room. "She's not coming," Rory answers, and she looks back at me. It stops me dead in my tracks. "Not her too…Dear God please, not her too," I pray silently. Richard is oblivious to what is going on. He is pouring the drinks. "Emily, I think we should give this little girl the surprise we brought back for her from Greece," I smile slightly, keeping my eyes on Rory, trying to asses how mad she is at me. Rory is silent too. Richard brings out the present, an antique book Richard had picked out himself. Rory smiles, brushing her hand over the book. "It's beautiful," she whispers, and for one moment—one brief moment I think everything is going to be okay.
"I can't accept it," she says resolutely, staring both of us in the eyes. Richard looks as if he has been slapped. "What?" he asks incredulously. She turns to him, and her face softened slightly. "I'm sorry Grandpa, I really love it, but I can't accept it."
"No!" I want to scream at her, "Don't do this to him, not again!" But I do what I always do, I get angry.
"That's no way to talk young lady, we've given you a lovely present, and it is good manners to accept it." She snickers and turns to me. There is a look of disdain in her eyes that turns my stomach.
"You're one to talk about good manners, aren't you Grandma?" she says, I swallow hard to keep control. "Rory," I state firmly, "Whatever is going on between your mother and me doesn't concern you."
"Doesn't concern me?" she yells, "Doesn't concern me? Grandma, she is miserable! She and Luke have broken up, she is devastated. My mom is at one of the lowest points in her life and it doesn't concern me?" Richard takes a quick drink,
"Lorelai, lower your voice," he says sharply, and I don't know if he is using Rory's full name, or reliving terrible memories.
"Grandpa, I'm sorry, I didn't want to put you in the middle of this," she says and then turns back on me, "I just wanted to come by and tell you both that I won't be coming for Friday night dinner anymore." My heart stops—it literally stops.
"What?" I whisper. She swallows and I can tell this is hard for her. "I won't side against Mom—period. She doesn't want you in her life, and I can't have you in mine either, it's too hard. That's what I came to say. I also came to say that I wouldn't feel right about taking your money for Yale. I intend to apply for student loans, and pay your money back whenever I can."
"Rory…no," Richard whispers, in a terrible fearful voice I haven't heard in years. She turns to him, and gives his hand a squeeze. "Grandpa, this isn't about you, I promise. I'll keep in touch." She gives him a quick kiss of the cheek, and he wraps his arms around her, as if in desperation, as if to keep her with him.
"I should go," she says, and I am having trouble breathing. "Rory, please, this has nothing to do with you. It's between your mother and me." She straightens up to her full height, and if she ever looked like her mother she really looks like her now,
"Grandma…you have a problem with mom, you have a problem with me." She turns and I grab her wrist, "What is wrong with you?" I ask, and this time it is me who is not sure I am talking to Rory or Lorelai. "I did what I thought was best!"
"You know what you did Grandma!" she yells, and then she is gone—the door wide open, and all Richard and I can do is watch her drive off.
Richard steps in front of me and closes the door. I avoid meeting his eyes. This isn't happening—this can not be happening. "What happened?" he asks slowly. Still I can't meet his eyes. "I invited Christopher to the wedding. I told him he still had a chance. He caused a scene at the wedding and Luke and Lorelai have broken up now. Lorelai told me at the wedding…" my voice catches in my throat. "She said we were through." Richard exhales slowly, "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked. I stare down at the floor, "I thought it would pass." He slowly brings my chin up to meet his, his eyes are not angry—just terribly sad, defeated.
"Emmy…" he says, calling me by the name he used to call me when we were engaged. His voice is tired, and thick with sadness. He brings me to him, hugging me and I wrap my arms around him. "Emmy…I can't go through this again. I can't loose Rory too." My insides feel like they are being ripped to shreds. Dear God, what have I done!
He takes my hand, and says, "I'm tired, let's go to bed." I make no arguments. It's 7:30 in the evening as we tiredly walk up to bed.
The dream is different this time. This time, it is Lorelai and Rory, the four of us, at the park, and we are laughing at a joke Lorelai made. Then the sky turns black, Richard yells for us to run to cover. I reach out for Lorelai, telling her to come with me, but she grabs Rory's arm and starts to run away from me. "Wait!" I scream for her them to stop. "Lorelai please! Stop!" I yell, "Come back!" This won't happen again, I won't loose them again! I run…faster, faster, I have to catch them. I have to save them from the danger. I am almost there. I can see the cliff, "Lorelai! Give me your hand!" I yell. She turns to me, and her eyes burn with hatred. "You and me, we're done" she says and then taking Rory's hand, she jumps off the cliff.
"No!" I wake up screaming. I search frantically for Richard in the dark but he isn't in the room. "Richard!" I scream loudly, "I want my baby! I want my baby! Richard!" He bursts in the room, and in two steps is to me. "Richard, I want my baby. I want my baby." He enfolds me in his arms, and I cling to him. "I want my baby," I sob over and over again. "It's alright," he says, rocking me back and forth in his arms, kissing the top of my head, "It's going to be alright," he says again, saying reassuring words I don't know if he believes.
"I will not loose them again," I say to myself as I stand outside the diner, getting ready to swallow my pride. No matter what it takes—history is done repeating. No more nightmares. I will end this now. I open the door and he turns around,