I really need to stop starting new fics... But anyways- here it is. I'll update my other two stories soon. Ummm... Please read and review! Thanks! oh, and to those who read my other story, Swapping Places, I will repost it- FINISHED- but I just can't get past this one part. However- upon my soul, I will finish it. I swear I will. Thank you for understanding.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from YGO!
Part One: Stew Wars

"This was why I suggested to skip the stew, fool."

"Ew! He got some in MINE!"

"I never knew that stew flew at that velocity before..."

"Valon! If you don't slow down your eating, you're banished from this end of the table!" Dartz, the other three's boss, moved his stew away from the flying missiles that was Valon's stew that so far hadn't been eaten and pointed down towards the empty chairs of the very long table. "Don't make me do it!"

The blue-eyed brunette placed his fork back down onto his plate and swallowed, ignoring the pain his burning tongue was feeling. When Rafeal cooked stew he made sure it was served smoking hot. And the smoking part isn't an exaggeration, it was a miracle anyone could see each other. "Whot did I do now, eh? Just eatin' my stew and you all are back ta buggin' me!" Valon protested, innocent blue eyes sliding from the disgusted Alister, to the cool but still disgusted Rafeal to the fury blue and yellow eyes of Dartz.

Alister stared down at his stew, sure he could see the bits that weren't his, but the Australian kid across from him. "I don't think I want to eat this anymore..."

Dartz angry gaze swept over the table to the redhead, narrowing into slits. The effect was like a very pissed feline, especially with the two different colored eyes and sleek white hair. "You have better finish eating that! The last time you tried to starve yourself was when that stupid muscle belly shirt didn't fit! And I'm won't allow ANYONE to faint in a duel just so they can wear a stupid shirt!"

"It isn't stupid!"


Still feeling disgusted, Alister reluctantly went about spooning food into his mouth. He was so sure that he could sense Valon's saliva in there... ugh... He muttered his disapproval, but continued on. The last time he had protested for too long, Dartz had made him duel some old geezer in a tutu... Shudder complete with the tights, shoes, and a little crown. It. Was. Embarrassing.

Nodding, Dartz abruptly turned back to Valon, as the stew had started to fly again. "SLOW DOWN OR I'LL BANISH YOU TO THE OTHER END OF THE TABLE!" he roared, neatly stopping the brunette. "AND STOP MUTTERING!" Alister sniffed, but said nothing else.

Valon meanwhile sighed and, once again, tried to eat the stew slowly. But its charm won over him again... and the fork lowered and lifted up and down faster and faster and faster...


Rafeal glanced once among his fellow duelists, picked up his plate and got the heck out of the room. Dartz was beyond pissed now- any little idiosyncrasy of their's that he didn't like would earn its owner a punishment... and Rafeal didn't even want to THINK about the last time...


"This was why I suggested to skip the stew, fool."

"Ew! He got some in MINE!"

"I never knew stew flew at that velocity before..."

"Valon! If you don't slow down your eating, I'll banish you to the other end of the table!"

End of flashback.

"Can I leave now?" Alister asked, wincing as another stew bit flew past his head. "He's starting to fling his food at the wall now. And that's only his second serving..."

Dartz growled down at the table, eyes glued longingly on the stew that he hadn't gotten to even TOUCH yet. "No... you... can't..."

"Why not?"

The whiny tones pushed the wrong buttons. "BECAUSE I SAID SO, SO THERE!" An especially large blob of stew flung through the air to splatter on Dartz's forehead. He was quiet until the said blob started to drip down his nose. Nearly shaking with rage, he slowly used his napkin to wipe off the stew and just as slowly got up from the table. "I'll... be... back... And no- you still can't leave..."

Alister rolled his eyes and dropped back into his chair with an exasperated sigh. He turned to the oblivious Valon and muttering various complaints.

"AND STOP MUTTERING!" The door slammed shut, leaving a very shocked and chastised Alister and a bingeing Valon.

Rafeal whistled an old melody his mother used to sing to him at night as he worked on scrubbing out the pot used to make the stew. The recipe had also come from his parents- and it always worked wonders. Especially on Valon, although that wasn't an effect that was usually sought after- mostly it was to mend tears and get rid of worries. And it worked every time.

The door to the kitchen swung up and shut, over and over again. Rafeal turned to the newcomer, ready for anything.

"Stupid hinges... never shuts or opens quietly... over and over- stupid squeaking!" Dartz swung the door open again and then slammed it shut particularly hard, rattling the pots on the shelves next to him. His angry gaze swept around the room till it rested on the shocked Rafeal, crouched in a defensive position. "You might want to get that pot back under the water, Rafeal- and the kitchen gloves too. The water and soap's messing up my floors."

Recovering himself, the muscled duelist did as he was told, feeling very, very foolish. He waited for his boss to say something else, but nothing else came from the white-haired duelist. Rafeal was almost done with washing the pot COMPLETELY when Dartz whipped open a drawer right at the blond's elbow.

"Aha!" Dartz whipped out whatever he had been looking for out of the junk drawer, holding aloft, as though it were precious treasure.

"That's not gonna fix the door, boss," Rafeal muttered, forgetting the pot for a moment. "Oil would, but not duct-tape."

"No," Dartz agreed, eyes sparkling, "but it will allow me a peaceful meal." He left Rafeal with that thought to ponder over and left the room, starting to whistle himself.

Dartz opened the door to the dining room to a scene of... chaos. The walls were splattered with globs of various sizes of stew, which would have made the decorator of the room run in terror. Brown dots did not mix with rose pink wallpaper. Not even the overhead chandelier or the ceiling had been saved- forget the framed paintings. The causes of this mess came from a still eating and unsplattered Valon and a ducking while retaliating Alister. The redhead tried to balance a napkin up over his face while aiming and flinging blobs of gravy at the brunette. His aim, however, was terrible. The table, Dartz noticed, was also an unflattering mess.

"I HATE STEW AND I HATE HOW YOU EAT IT, YOU... YOU... AUSSIE! I'LL GET YOU, I'LL GET YOU! I'M MISSING MY FAVORITE SHOW!" Alister was beyond ranting... he was close to crossing the thin borderline of sanity to insanity.

Valon glanced up once to Alister, dim pain in his blue eyes. "That was uncalled for, mate. I'm jest eatin' here- you can leave if ya want to." So saying, the 'aussie' went back to eating.

"I AM NOT YOUR MATE, MATE!" Alister cried back, flinging an especially large blob of gravy with almost no aim at all. It splattered against the wall, two feet away from Dartz head. "Huh? Oh! Boss! Please, please, please! Let me go! I'm missin' my show!" Emotionally wrecked, the redhead dropped his head into his hands and began to sob out the characters' names that he loved oh so dearly... "And beautiful Amara... stupid Serena... silly Mina... kinda cute but way too bad tempered Rei..."

"Michelle is much cuter than any of those blokes you jest mentioned," Valon paused his munching for the shortest of times. He was back to his food just as another stew missile hit Alister in the head.


Dartz slowly circled the room till he right behind an oblivious brunette. Taking the end of tape, he ripped off a good long piece. Ignoring the stew that hit him, he timed the approach and covered up Valon's mouth easily. Clearly distressed, the brunette tried to get through the tape with a laden fork, eyes starting to tear.

Ignoring the employee's pain, Dartz ripped off another piece and taped Valon's arms to the chair. He considered stopping there, but then taped his feet to the chair legs, finding this way too much fun to just stop there.

Alister, meanwhile, was watching with a much calmer attitude, although he still sniffed now and again. As Dartz approached him, Alister started in on his pleas, "Please boss, pleeaase let me go- I need to see Sailor Moon! And Mars... and Mercury... Thank you for stopping Valon- I'll do whatever you want, just please!" He was stopped just as effectively as Valon with a slap of tape over his mouth.


The sound of his name almost made the large bloke jump. He had thought he was alone in the hallway... but apparently not. "Yes, sir?" Rafeal replied, using the most respectable tone he knew. Dartz did not sound too happy...

"I request your presence downstairs in the dining room. Bring something to eat, if you want."

"Umm... yes, sir," Rafeal spun on his heel as soon as he knew that Dartz had finished talking in whatever he was using. Stupid lighting- why couldn't these hallways be brighter!

Dartz smiled to himself as he hid the walkie talkie under his robe. Using a system of walkie talkies through the entire building was ingenious- especially when the hallways are as dark as they are. His gaze turned onto the now squirming Alister and Valon. Both looked worse for wear. Dartz had meant to stop with just tying their limbs to the chairs, but the thought of mummifying them was just to pleasing to be pushed aside... especially when he was also bored.

The door opened quietly and shut just as quietly behind the nervous muscled duelist. Dartz smiled, making the newcomer even more nervous. "Welcome back, Rafeal- we missed you. Right, boys?" Muffled replies met the two duelists. "Anyways... would you like a seat?"


"Nonsense! Sit, sit!" gesturing elaborately to the chair next to Alister, Dartz all but physically guided Rafeal to his chair. The blond nodded a greeting to the redhead and turned to back to Dartz. His eyes widened a little as his boss approached him, a half roll of duct-tape in hand. "Now... let's see... what was it that I was going to say..? Hmmm... oh never mind... I can't think of it. Oh well."


"Well now, aren't we all happy now?" Dartz said all to perkily, swallowing another mouthful of stew. "Ugh, this is cold... Oh well... I'll be back!" He stood up with his plate in hand and left the room to find the microwave.

Valon gazed longing after Dartz, and then to his stew. He knew that it was getting cold, too... it didn't smell as good as before... and the gravy was hardening too... Sniff. Now it wouldn't taste like mommy's stew before it was rehydrated and warmed up. Sniff.

Alister silently- how could he make ANY coherent noise under the layers of duct-tape over his mouth- cried, thinking of the Sailor Scouts he had missed. His hair wasn't going to be the same either- Dartz had made sure of that.

Rafeal, meanwhile, tried yet again to get in a comfortable position in his chair. Dartz had duct-taped him into the chair as he was trying to fend the sticky wrappings off, and as a consequence, he was now duct-taped with hands in the air and legs near Alister's head. Boy, they couldn't wait for this bit of insanity to wear off so they could be cut out of this little bit of humiliation...

So sorry for making Valon sound more Yugi-ish than he obviously is, but... well, I did. Please review! Suggestions are also welcome, but I'm warning you now that I might not use them, so don't be cross.