To Love a Jedi
Chapter 1: The Day Fate Was Sealed
Author's Note: These chapters might be short, considering that I am only doing one scene at a time.
The sun is setting. It is a glorious sight to see, the gold disk gently floating behind the mountains of Alderaan. The sky turns pink as it sets and the day ends. It seems like a sight that would fill anyone with happiness, yet it does not fill me with any such feeling.
When I see the sun set, I think about him.
It seems like it could have happened yesterday, yet it was so long ago. Who knew that time could pass so quickly years ago, yet now time slows and nearly stops. With each long day I am reminded my choice. The choice that made these horrible consequences. If I had listened to reason, and realized the danger, then I might not have caused this.
It was my fault that he went this way.
People tell me that there was nothing I could do, that it was fate, but fate would not be so cruel. I cannot believe that fate designed this horrible outcome. What did shape it were my selfish wants. I had learned in my youth that there would be sacrifices to be made for the good of the universe. I should have sacrificed my lust.
Instead, I sacrificed him, the republic, and everyone hurt by my decision.
I sacrificed my life, and the lives of my children. We shall all live in fear, wondering if we shall live to pass to the next day. We shall never know what it is like to be carefree and happy. Leia is happy now, but she will never feel happiness once she discovers what I have done. It has been four years since it happened, and in those four years she has lived without fear.
But that will change.
One day, she will know who her father is, and she will look at me in horror of what I have done. It seemed so simple, something that was so against evil that it would be impossible to contemplate the consequences.
Who would have thought that this would have all started with love?
That's where it begins, with love, my weakness. I was strong in mind and in body, promising to die rather than give in to evil. But I could not control my feelings of love. If love is harmless, then why did things turn out so? If love is natural, then why does it hurt to reflect on those days? Why did love have to cause this?
"Mummy?" A small voice squeaks. I turn. Leia is tugging on my skirt. Her beautiful brown eyes look up at me in worry as she says, "Are you going to cry again?"
I look back out to the sunset. She notices my sadness, but she will never know the cause from me. I shake my head. "No, Leia. I am not going to cry."
"But you look so sad." She insists.
I kneel down to her level. "I am sad."
Oh Leia, the truth would hurt you. It would haunt you until anger and hatred rose inside you. I cannot let that happen. Not again. "I cannot tell you."
She smiles. "Don't be sad, Mummy." Leia hands me a flower.
I accept it, and give a small smile. Her life can give me some happiness, but not enough to cure me of this never ending depression. I hug her. "Leia, you are the only thing now that is close to my heart."
I remember when he was close to my heart. I remember when I would have given everything to spend time with him. I still wish that. But not like he is now. I wish he would be the way he was before. When I fell in love with him…those long years ago.
But it started long before I knew those feelings were there. When I was fourteen, it began…
I was queen of Naboo then. It was in the times of turmoil, and the beginning of the war. I had escaped from my planet and was posing as the handmaiden Padmé, while Sabé pretended to be queen. We had come to Tatooine in search of a hyperdrive generator since ours had been damaged in the escape. I had insisted on going with the party that was in search of a shop to find the parts. Little did I know that I was going to find more in this alien place…
When we first stepped into that dusty and cramped shop, we spotted a blue creature of some sort. My first impression was of a blue toad with wings. This was before I had completely learned not to taunt at other beings from other worlds. Because they too, were taunting us. The thing flew over to Jar Jar, Qui-gon, and me. "Hi chuba da naga?" It asked in its language.
"I need parts for a J-type Nubian." Qui-gon said, importantly.
The thing immediately switched to the official language of the republic and spoke with him. I did not listen to the rest of their conversation. I was too busy looking around. This shop had odd things like rusted droid limbs, oily power generators, and more than one dirty pit droid. It was very clear that this was a junk shop at its finest. I was unsure that even if we were even to find a hyperdrive generator, it would work. I had so many ill thoughts in my head, that I am surprised to see that the force did not blast me for them.
The creature yelled to someone in the back, "Peedenkel! Naba dee unko."
A boy with sun bleached hair appeared through an entrance. His hands and face had a bit of dirt on them, and his clothes were that of a peasant. Yet I sensed something unusual about him from the minute I first saw him.
"Coona tee-tocky malia?" The flying thing inquired.
"Mel tassa cho-passa..." The boy said, with a hint of annoyance.
"Chut-Chut! Ganda doe wallya. Me dwana no bata." It ordered. It looked back at Qui-gon and said in a typical salesman's voice, "So, let me take you out back. You'll find what you need."
Before the salesman led Qui-gon outside, the jedi gave Jar Jar a stern look. "Don't touch anything!" It said firmly. As he was going outside, he didn't see the rather large raspberry Jar Jar blew at him.
With them gone and Jar Jar occupied, it left me with that boy. He seemed to be cleaning a part of a droid. But I noticed his sapphire eyes gazing at me, and so I turned to look away. I had just pretended not to notice his eyes when he asked, "Are you an angel?"
I decided to chance a look at him. "What?" I asked. No one had ever said I look like an angel. Not even my parents. They went for the "princess" line. I was flattered in an instant.
The boy continued his proclamation. "An angel. I hear the deep space pilots talk about them. They're the most beautiful creatures in the universe. The live on the moons of Iego, I think." He gave a small grin.
What thoughts to come from such a small boy! He told me I was beautiful, in his own way. But I thought he was joking. "You're a funny little boy. How do you know so much?" I asked him.
"I listen to all the traders and star pilots that come through here. I'm a pilot, you know, and some day, I'm going to fly away from this place." He seemed to be wanting to impress me.
But I was amazed at the achievements of this boy. "You're a pilot?" I asked, for I knew of how many years it took the royal pilots to pass through the academy.
"Mmm-hmm. All my life." He replied coolly.
"How long have you been here?" I asked, this boy seemed so mature for his age.
"Since I was very little." He paused for a second to think. "Three, I think. My mom and I were sold to Gardulla the Hutt, but she lost us betting on the podraces."
I was shocked. "You're a slave?" I thought that slavery was outlawed in all parts of the republic. But I suppose that Tatooine, with its roguish nature, considers itself above the law.
I must have insulted him because he said, "I'm a person, and my name is Anakin."
Anakin, how I would come to know that name. That name I would come to love, and never stop loving. That is the name that would make me cry on dark nights. That is the name that I wish I had never heard.
Author's Note: So this is the first chapter! Like? Hate? Tell me so in a review!